OZIL CONSPIRACY THEORY

by .

 

MESUT OZIL POSTED SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET.

WHAT. COULD. THIS. MEAN.

Some say that Mustafi said something funny. Cool thought, but seriously, who posts a picture of themselves laughing because someone said something funny? It’s the sort of thing I might have done as a youngster if I was trying to impress a girl… potentially the reason I am 35 and still unmarried, crying into a soft cuddly toy of my first love, who incidentally made me laugh*.

Mesut man, I hear you on this post.

Just kidding. The post is weird and because I am FULL ON conspiracy mode today, I’m going to say that Mesut has heard something from Big Unai that made him FAUX LOL. Is he dropped?

Who knows…

I was thinking about how violently public opinion has turned against the manager. Quite unbelievable. I’m not one for ‘I told you so’ type rhetoric (totes am), but you know, it was pretty clear this manager didn’t know where he was taking us very early on (see). I’m gonna put it out there, I think the famous presentation was fictitious. The idea peddled that Emery, a man who still doesn’t know his best team after 15 months, somehow had a dossier of every Arsenal player, with a detailed tactical plan is, well, bollocks.

Anyway, patience is a reward for progress, if you can’t see where something is going after 3 months, chances are, the sat nav is fucked. 15 months in, where are we? Same place we were last season.

Anyway, outside patting myself on the back, I do wonder how much personality has to play in this shift in sentiment. I know people think sauce is an intangible nonsense, but Jose Mourinho can hold sway over people even when he’s tanking. Emery is 5th and people are burning effigies and filing complaints to the European Court of Human Rights.

“Sometimes we forget the memory and we need to remember,” ­Emery said. “When I arrived, this team needed to be more competitive. Arsenal, in their history, were winning 1-0 and being very competitive, but it was not enough.

“Then [they went through] the process of being competitive and with improved creativity. When I arrived here, the creativity was more or less good, but being competitive was worse. It was not enough.

What I love about this quote is he is accepting we were pretty good for creativity… but lacked a competitive edge. I love that, because he’s scorched any of the last remnants of our attacking play with napalm and pretty much doubled down on all the things we hated about Wenger teams.

We don’t defend. Motivation is intermittent. We appear to be soft.

Emery oversaw the biggest bottle job in the history of the Premier League, gifting 3rd to Spurs. He also put on the most tepid cup final performance I’ve ever seen. I was told the players were so unfocused, they spent more time bitching about going to Azerbaijan a day early, than getting into the match. Apparently, it was quite clear players heads weren’t where they should have been before the game. How does a manager allow that to happen? Because he doesn’t understand the language and I think he struggles to feel out the energy of a squad. We were so far from competitive in that final, it was hard to be angry, we were that bad.

If Emery had a better grasp of the English language, I doubt he’d have delivered the above comment in such a terse way. If he had the demeanour and sauce of Allegri, he’d probably have explained where he was taking us. If he had the fire of Mourinho, he’d probably have savaged the fans for doubting him. If he had youth on his side, we’d probably forgive where we are right now. If he was worth his salt, the fans would clearly understand the vision of where the football club was going. There are gaps, so we fill them with complaints. He can’t control the fan narrative, he can’t control the Ozil narrative, he can’t get the players to understand what he wants to do.

His response was to fire an impassioned lie at us with zero charm. It was a dick pic for the first Tinder message. I’m not sure there’s a way back, he’s well and truly entered the lame-duck zone as manager. I’d be very surprised if Edu and Raul thought any differently.

The team will have the chance to shine today, we’ll likely decimate Vitoria, but they are bang average. Also, the fans are wising up to the realities of what the Europa League is… 3 tough games at the backend of the tournament. It’s a joke up until the semi-finals.

Right, on that note, tuck into the podcast we recorded yesterday.

iTunes

Stitcher

Spotify

 

*JUST KIDDING IF MY REAL GF IS READING THIS I WRITE IT FOR THE LOLZ

624 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Paulinho

Marc – The shape is going to look ragged with two players either side of him that are woefully out of their depth.

This is always going to be an open game though. Europa group stages are a sham, a kickabout.

Left Testicle

Who is this shit co-commentator? Telling us the subs are being made to early. BT ticking the equality box.

Paulinho

Smith-Rowe is a quality talent.

Nelson

No more AMN and Willock.

TheLegendaryDB10

Radio RaheemOctober 24, 2019    20:58:04

AMN is crap.

Emery is crap.

Not mutually exclusive.

Hear! Hear!

DUIFG

Why is torr our most advanced midfielder? emery is off his head

TBone

DUIFG
Maybe I’m being a bit harsh on Spanish waiters?

Nelson

Our team looks much better.

Left Testicle

Good clearance from Mustafi there.

TheLegendaryDB10

Glad to see AMN off. I can only echo that he was shit in the first half.

Marc

Pierre

Yes we are but we can’t bring in a new player to offer it till next summer so in the mean time we need to make do with what we have.

You can’t bear to accept that Ozil is finished at Arsenal now whether it’s Emery as manager or a new guy.

Do you think I’d put a personal like or dislike of a player over Arsenal’s success?

The reason you think that is because it’s precisely what you did with Wenger and still struggle to accept.

I actually feel sorry for AMN. It’s obvious he’s not good enough, but he doesn’t pick himself Emery does. But if he can’t see how average AMN and Xhaka actually are, then he should be sacked on the spot.

Mr Serge

I don’t want him to ruin Wilock there is s player in there that needs to be nurchered

Emery is shocking

DaleDaGooner

Brings on 2 midfielders…we used to think that was him adjusting to tactics…it’s now apparent that his clueless

Danny
Mr Serge

Zaha is going to molest us on Sunday

Un na naai

Thank you and goodnight.October 24, 2019 21:11:38
I actually feel sorry for AMN. It’s obvious he’s not good enough, but he doesn’t pick himself Emery does. But if he can’t see how average AMN and Xhaka actually are, then he should be sacked on the spot.

Tyag

Spot on.

Champagne charlie

Last weekend Vitoria were knocked out of the Portuguese cup by a third division side, and here they are giving us a game lol

Can we bin this EL after this season please, CL or nothing.

DUIFG

He’d make a shit sangria, he’s ruining this club. Didn’t even know more damage was possible

Marc

Left

It fucking drives me nuts what on earth qualifies this girl to co commentate on tonight’s match?

The way things are going we’ll end up with a girl and some fucked up trans gender I don’t like competitive sport commentary team.

Nelson

Smith Rowe WTF

Un na naai

Marc

We have been woeful in final 3rd all season. Creatively bankrupt under emery.

He should be at least trying to get ozil on the pitch from the bench when it’s clear we are out of ideas and our strikers are so woefully isolated

Kamp

How Rowe doesn’t pass that ball. There is something seriously wrong with this club.
And that miss?!

Champagne charlie

Pepe madness incoming.

Calling it, go on son

Left Testicle

Or a tranny and somebody who identifies as a toaster.

Un na naai

MarcOctober 24, 2019 21:14:27
LeftIt fucking drives me nuts what on earth qualifies this girl to co commentate on tonight’s match?

Marc

She’s got a fanny. That’s all that counts. She’s shit. She’s a nobody. Nobody wants to hear here comment on men’s football.

Marc

CC

“Can we bin this EL after this season please, CL or nothing.”

Why do you think so many season ticket holders are staying away. I wouldn’t have an issue with throwing results in the group stage to make sure we go out early and get our weekend fixtures back to the occasional Saturday kickoff.

Champagne charlie

“Or a tranny and somebody who identifies as a toaster.“

Already got Emery identifying as a competent football coach

Nelson

It’s good that Ceballos and Tierney play well with each other.

Marc

CC

Funny!

Kamp

Oh Arsenal.

Mr Serge

I am also not s fan of the girl commentator

Cesc Appeal

Embarrassing from Lacazette

TBone

Lacazette has just made a twat of himself

Mr Serge

Lacca what a bird

Champagne charlie

Should’ve been a red card, could’ve killed Laca there. Or something..

Marc
As Pedro says, it’s an absolute shower before the quarters/semi’s

Un na naai

There was contact you dopey slag

Somebody put some fairy liquid in a sink and get his girl on the job cos she’s making me pine for Michael Owen

What is it with BT? What mong selects these people?

Marc

Un

I don’t have an issue with the gender of a commentator if they are qualified and talk sense. As you say it’s about being politically correct – I’ll bet you a cold beer on a sunny day that Lineker’s replacement on MOTD will be a women.

Un na naai

Cc

Exactly

Kamp

Laca making he highlights reel unfortunately

Un na naai

Marc

Yeah I’ll agree
Alex Scott
I like her.

Not this bint.
To be honest though it’s mens football. Why are so many women being shoe horned into it? The odd one yeah but this is being forced

Marc

Un

“cos she’s making me pine for Michael Owen ”

When you know you are really bad at your job!

Mr Serge

She is now telling us ozil would make a difference
He is done love now jog on

Danish Gooner

Laca you twat.

Cesc Appeal

Midweek enjoyment was all most fans had…now it looks as if we don’t even have that

Danish Gooner

This game reminds me of Ostersund.Terrible.

Un na naai

I’ve not been ozil’s biggest fan at all but Ceballos isnt fit to lace his or Santi’s boots

Wilshere was better in wengers finalseason than Ceballos has been this season

Could just be the Emery effect though

HighburyLegend

Emery’s luck really seems to dry out.

Kamp

Martinelli should be in he first team. He closes down, works back, TACKLES, and can fill the onion bag.

Marc

Serge

The male commentator showed her up though – “some times you can become a very good player by not playing”

Nelson

At least Tierney is warming up. Bellerin is still cold.

TBone

Have we learned nothing from the last fifteen years?

If we persist with this clueless manager, before long we’ll get to the familiar ‘best players get disillusioned’ stage in the repeating cycle we have suffered for so long.

We need to give this squad to someone who knows what the fuck he’s doing.

Cesc Appeal

‘some times you can become a very good player by not playing’

A very true statement.

Remember what happened to Wilshere when he was injured and then reality hit hard when he got back into the team and fell over constantly.

Un na naai

25 mins until Emery’s NEXT HUMILIATION.

Make no mistake these results and performances are humiliating.

DaleDaGooner

Very inspiring bringing on 2 central midfielders with pedestrian scoring or assists when we’re chasing goals.

Mr Serge

Why does emery look like he is watching his sister getting molested ?

Marc

Cesc

With Palace at home on Sunday and Zaha having a point to prove Emery could find himself with 3 losses in 6 days.

Cesc Appeal

‘Why does emery look like he is watching his sister getting molested’

Hahaha.

Fuck sake!

Champagne charlie

Is this a less demanding game on Tierney than Sheffield United, as was claimed?

Not convinced at all.

Cesc Appeal

Marc

It’s not just the results it’s the performances and then in the context of mostly muddled performances under Emery.

Regardless of the result tonight it’s not a good look for Emery.

Left Testicle

Mr Serge, I doff my cap to you.

Marc

CC

I wouldn’t mind as much if this was one of those matches where we’d dominated possession and had a load of chances but at the moment they look more like scoring a 3rd than we do equalising.

Biggles

I don’t think I like football anymore.

Stop the bus and let me off.

Un na naai

Ceballos lost the ball!!!
He’s shit!!!
Lynch him

Samesong

Once the media starts questioning Emery decisions will it will be a matter of time?

TBone

CescAppeal

Exactly. The performances this season, (apart from previous 2 EL games) have been shocking. I can’t remember the last convincing PL performance

Chris

Watching this game I find myself being reminded of the scene in Fever Pitch when Colin Firth reacts to his school team he coaches playing badly “Come on you useless shower! This lot are shit!”

Mr Serge

I will be at the game on Sunday hopefully we don’t play like this or we are in big trouble

Cesc Appeal

Samesong

I think so.

The fans have really turned on him based on some online polls and Twitter traffic I saw.

Radio Raheem

It’ll be a long season Emery ain’t getting fired. This is Arsenal.

Un na naai

He’s lost it again!!
Ceballos is shit

Lynch him

Marc

Martinelli does look a player though – thank you Edu!

Danish Gooner

they have zero confidence .

Cesc Appeal

Martinelli.

Great stuff.

Champagne charlie

Marc

That’s my entire POV with the matches we play, the result is often academic or secondary at least. The performances are dire, like really bad. How many chances/shots is that we’ve given up again tonight?

I was just thinking to myself there watching them play a bit down the right that they actually look the more threatening or competent. That’s awful.

Kamp

Martinelli and tierney for the first team

Marc

Cesc

Arseblog has done a couple of pieces that are critical and he’s usually quite measured.

People are mixing up Wenger’s getting away with it for years and a manager who has no good will lasting for ages – won’t happen.

DaleDaGooner

Is the squad bad or is the manager that bad?

DaleDaGooner

Takes off Lacazette/…….LOL

Champagne charlie

Spanish David Bentley, keep a permanent transfer away from the table Arsenal ffs pleeease, don’t fall for it.

Cesc Appeal

Lacazette seriously poor tonight.

On merit Martinelli deserves the start on Sunday over him.

Kamp

Ceballos won’t make it at Arsenal. We’ve got enough average. No more. 50m on Docoure please, let’s stop fucking about

Marc

Dale

This season the manager has regressed the squad has improved.

I was willing to give Emery a season, he’s had that and fucked up a couple of easy chances to get us top 4. He’s been given a better squad and it’s worse.

Samesong

Even little things like set pieces you know Ozil going to make use of the ball wtf does good free kicks now.

salpardisenyc

Envision Emery staying on as long as top four is on the cards, once that looks lost he’ll be shit canned.

With league in states its in. As Radio said it’ll be a long season our football is truly appalling.

DaleDaGooner

When we attack, always look like the opposition is tight and defends well, when we are being attacked, we look so open

salpardisenyc

Pepe brace, cmmmon son.

Radio Raheem

AMN or Ozil? Tough one that

Nelson

Torr is a below average player when deploys upfront.

Marc

sal

I’m not so sure – we’ve bet the house on getting CL this season. Waiting to pull the trigger till after it’s gone is like calling the fire brigade once your house has burnt to ashes.

Danny

Good morning Pepe!

DaleDaGooner

I agree with the man that said 50m on Doucoure and let Ceballos back to Real….he’s ok, but we’ve got too many ok players, we need a physical and strong CM

Mr Serge

Great Pepe nice one

Nelson

Yeah!!! Finally

DaleDaGooner

Pepe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Left Testicle

£72m well spent.

Un na naai

What a goal

DaleDaGooner

Nice into the lower corner, delightful

Marc

Pleased for Pepe he needed that.

Cesc Appeal

There you go!

Exactly what he needed.