OZIL CONSPIRACY THEORY

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MESUT OZIL POSTED SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET.

WHAT. COULD. THIS. MEAN.

Some say that Mustafi said something funny. Cool thought, but seriously, who posts a picture of themselves laughing because someone said something funny? It’s the sort of thing I might have done as a youngster if I was trying to impress a girl… potentially the reason I am 35 and still unmarried, crying into a soft cuddly toy of my first love, who incidentally made me laugh*.

Mesut man, I hear you on this post.

Just kidding. The post is weird and because I am FULL ON conspiracy mode today, I’m going to say that Mesut has heard something from Big Unai that made him FAUX LOL. Is he dropped?

Who knows…

I was thinking about how violently public opinion has turned against the manager. Quite unbelievable. I’m not one for ‘I told you so’ type rhetoric (totes am), but you know, it was pretty clear this manager didn’t know where he was taking us very early on (see). I’m gonna put it out there, I think the famous presentation was fictitious. The idea peddled that Emery, a man who still doesn’t know his best team after 15 months, somehow had a dossier of every Arsenal player, with a detailed tactical plan is, well, bollocks.

Anyway, patience is a reward for progress, if you can’t see where something is going after 3 months, chances are, the sat nav is fucked. 15 months in, where are we? Same place we were last season.

Anyway, outside patting myself on the back, I do wonder how much personality has to play in this shift in sentiment. I know people think sauce is an intangible nonsense, but Jose Mourinho can hold sway over people even when he’s tanking. Emery is 5th and people are burning effigies and filing complaints to the European Court of Human Rights.

“Sometimes we forget the memory and we need to remember,” ­Emery said. “When I arrived, this team needed to be more competitive. Arsenal, in their history, were winning 1-0 and being very competitive, but it was not enough.

“Then [they went through] the process of being competitive and with improved creativity. When I arrived here, the creativity was more or less good, but being competitive was worse. It was not enough.

What I love about this quote is he is accepting we were pretty good for creativity… but lacked a competitive edge. I love that, because he’s scorched any of the last remnants of our attacking play with napalm and pretty much doubled down on all the things we hated about Wenger teams.

We don’t defend. Motivation is intermittent. We appear to be soft.

Emery oversaw the biggest bottle job in the history of the Premier League, gifting 3rd to Spurs. He also put on the most tepid cup final performance I’ve ever seen. I was told the players were so unfocused, they spent more time bitching about going to Azerbaijan a day early, than getting into the match. Apparently, it was quite clear players heads weren’t where they should have been before the game. How does a manager allow that to happen? Because he doesn’t understand the language and I think he struggles to feel out the energy of a squad. We were so far from competitive in that final, it was hard to be angry, we were that bad.

If Emery had a better grasp of the English language, I doubt he’d have delivered the above comment in such a terse way. If he had the demeanour and sauce of Allegri, he’d probably have explained where he was taking us. If he had the fire of Mourinho, he’d probably have savaged the fans for doubting him. If he had youth on his side, we’d probably forgive where we are right now. If he was worth his salt, the fans would clearly understand the vision of where the football club was going. There are gaps, so we fill them with complaints. He can’t control the fan narrative, he can’t control the Ozil narrative, he can’t get the players to understand what he wants to do.

His response was to fire an impassioned lie at us with zero charm. It was a dick pic for the first Tinder message. I’m not sure there’s a way back, he’s well and truly entered the lame-duck zone as manager. I’d be very surprised if Edu and Raul thought any differently.

The team will have the chance to shine today, we’ll likely decimate Vitoria, but they are bang average. Also, the fans are wising up to the realities of what the Europa League is… 3 tough games at the backend of the tournament. It’s a joke up until the semi-finals.

Right, on that note, tuck into the podcast we recorded yesterday.

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*JUST KIDDING IF MY REAL GF IS READING THIS I WRITE IT FOR THE LOLZ

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Un na naai

Now

Which cunts were saying he was shit?

Dumb fucking cunts

Champagne charlie

Pepe madness incoming as stated

TheLegendaryDB10

Well done Pepe!!! What a free kick.

DaleDaGooner

And they almost scored….i don’t know why we are so open at the back

Mr Serge

Dale we need a creator and a monster in cm ceballos would look miles better if he had a Gilberto type player doing the hard stuff

TBone

Pleased for Pepe

Samesong

Brilliant

Radio Raheem

Haha what a shit goalie. Hope that gets rid of Pepe’s constipation.

Un na naai

Pepe Aubameyang Lacazette and ozil are being wasted by Emery

An attacking quartet there capable of going toe to toe with any defence

Samesong

Can we buy this Davidson lol

Left Testicle

Thanks Mr Serge, whenever I see Emery grimacing I have this image of a feminine Unai being molested.

DaleDaGooner

Marty should have scored there

Nelson

I would trade Torr. He is useless upfront

Danny

Wow Mustafi hit the post……..wanker

Left Testicle

Good clearance by Mustafi.

Just Another Customer

was that the ball playing defender Mustafi that was a Cesc-esque through pass right there

Torreira should have give a good ole float through pass too back then

salpardisenyc

Nice one Pepe…. keeper was amazing there lmao.

Marc

Hope you’re right mate, I was ready to remove him this summer to much derision in this space. Raul does have that vibe but with league this weak think we’ll be toying with top four into spring.

Gunnernet

This clown joke of a player mustafi always looking the ball and steping backwards…And just missed another header oof target. Worst signing by wenger by miles keeping in mind his fee..

Un na naai

This birds shrill voice is doing my head in

She’s like a squeaky Jess Phillips

Champagne charlie

Mustafi is a better footballer than Sokratis, scapegoated to fuck but should be in the PL XI imo.

DaleDaGooner

Agreed Serge…that will mean Guen gets benched

Kamp

Why has it taken till the 80th minute to play a ball inside a fullback?!

No creative midfielders making passes

DaleDaGooner

Pepe…surely won’t score again from that spot

Just Another Customer

yeah suddenly Bellerin El Capitano the weakest link

TheLegendaryDB10

What a shame. Pepe ball was a wee to high.

Arsenal!!!

Mr Serge

Left testicle my pleasure mate he is the type of guy that would not spring to action to save here either lol

Un na naai

Champagne charlieOctober 24, 2019 21:44:36
Mustafi is a better footballer than Sokratis, scapegoated to fuck but should be in the PL XI imo.

I agree.

Kamp

Bad night for Rowe. Ceballaos should be playing like this from the off.

Spanishdave

So this is Emery’s improvements.
Good squad but no tactics, come on Freddie.

Just Another Customer

heh too ambitious there just give to Pepe while he’s red hot in confidence now

Left Testicle

Jess Phillip’s and her fake tears.

Receding Hairline

First team in the Europa to turn up with a pulse and predictably we struggle.

Un na naai

Lovely idea and great vision from Guendouzi there

Not many will see a pass like that
Great sign

Marc

I really think all of our issues start with midfield.

At the moment I’m close to blaming BREXIT not being sorted on our midfield.

DaleDaGooner

Tierney fucked himself trying to save the CBs

HighburyLegend

“i don’t know why we are so open at the back”
2 words : unai emery.

Champagne charlie

Unaai

I ragged on Mustafi last season following some of his errors, but was blindsided by Sokratis’ pashun. He’s a better footballer, which is kind of important in a footballing (allegedly) side like ours.

DUIFG

Cabeloos is pulling strings here

Receding Hairline

This Freddie nonsense is getting tedious now. The calls for him are based off what exactly?

If we need a new manager there are plenty to choose from. Enough with this Freddie crap.

Un na naai

Left Test

She’s a heartless cunt masquerading as mother Teresa. Happy as long as she’s stepping on straight white men

Nelson

Guen has lots of energy. But his forward passes lacks quality.

Un na naai

Receding HairlineOctober 24, 2019 21:51:13
This Freddie nonsense is getting tedious now. The calls for him are based off what exactly?

On desperation to get shot of emery as soon as possible

Danny

Come on bury this

Just Another Customer

nice really nice now that’s how we should do it quick build up with short exchange passes

HighburyLegend

Pepe… well I must say that it was about fucking time.

Un na naai

Great play Guendouzi

DaleDaGooner

Like it when Guen runs at defenses

Danny

Great!

Leftsidesanch

PEPE

WengerEagle

Jesus, Pepe arriving.

Nelson

Pepe is worth 72 m

Un na naai

Pepe…..

Welcome to your next arsenal legend le grove

Just Another Customer

finally purple patch for him now!!!

what a 4D chess from Emery that really save his neck innit?

DaleDaGooner

72M WELL SPENT!!!

Radio Raheem

Guendouzi and Pepe have been alright this half

Chris

Two top quality free kicks from Pepe, hopefully that opens the floodgates for him!

Samesong

Yeah guen with runs like that is showing promise.

TheLegendaryDB10

Pepeeeeee!!!!

Bamford10

Great frickin’ goal. Good stuff, Pepe.

Cesc Appeal

What a goal!

Just what he needed.

Champagne charlie

Call me mystic meg.

Pepe madness served up as called. You’re welcome Emery you clueless bell.

Ishola70

Our boy Guendouzi set up the freekick with his driving run into the heart of the portugusea defence.

He’s fucking shite this Guendouzi

Samesong

Pepe has arrived

Un na naai

Been defending him for the past few weeks
You know who you are

How fucking stupid to write him off before he really got going.

Weagle

You should know better

Thomas

Emery survives another day.

Paulinho

“25 mins until Emery’s NEXT HUMILIATION.”

MUG.

Mr Serge

Got away with that thanks Pepe

Marc

Receding

Why did Steve Bould get mountains of grief for years for poor performances, why does Arteta get mentioned as a potential great manager because he puts the cones out and keeps Pep’s tea warm and yet Freddie doesn’t get part of the blame for us being worse this season than last?

DM

I really wish I could share a screenshot from my whatsapp chat with a friend where I said 25 mins ago that I had a feeling we would still get the win, with Pepe coming on and scoring 2..

If only I was a betting man!

Mr Serge

I rate guen he is a kid

Ishola70

What an entertaining game in a europa league kick about kind of way.

And Pepe Peps has been unleashed lol

Kamp

Lille like ‘we shoulda got 80’

Un na naai

Champagne charlieOctober 24, 2019 21:54:03
Call me mystic meg.Pepe madness served up as called. You’re welcome Emery you clueless

You called it mate
I did read it and hoped.

Delighted for Pepe. Guendouzi was a level above. Martinelli was impressive.
We’ve got so much firepower going forward. Why is emery shackling this level of talent?

Thomas

Emery saved by two set pieces. Shit manager.

DaleDaGooner

Undeserved ? Not sure, but this is still an indignation of poor setup by Emery….just glad i don’t have to be moody well after a game by Arsenal

Just Another Customer

fucking hell using him on spot kick is like a cheat code now considering how we like to dive these days

so this is how Unai won that Ligue 1 eh all relying on players to save him everytime

HighburyLegend

And now let’s witness emery’s usual bullshit with the press.
Without me, thanks.

Cesc Appeal

Embarrassing performance and result. The positive though is Pepe. If you had scripted what he needed to boost his confidence and arrive you’d have put something like that. Arsenal losing, comes on, scores a great free kick, totally changes the game and then scores the winner with another great free kick. He should be buzzing for Sunday. Martinelli again was great, Tierney looked good as the game went on and Gunedouzi yet again stood up when we needed someone. He needs to be allowed to do more of that running in the final third. Not a good performance at all… Read more »

Hitman

Marquee signing my ….

hang on a minute!!

Left Testicle

Jess Phillip’s has got one of those faces that need a slap. Metaphorically speaking – before anybody gets upset.

TheLegendaryDB10

What an end to this game!!!! Completely crazy.

I was wondering whether Unai is prepping this team for the PL?

raptora

Hopegullly we get to see the real Pepe soon. He`s gaining confidence.

Thomas

Emery should still be sacked.

Champagne charlie

Tierney, Mustafi, Martinelli

Those three are huge shouts for the PL for me.

Emery let off the hook after another sub-par performance. Hopefully that serves to ignite Pepe’s confidence though.

salpardisenyc

Pepe brace never in doubt, picking up PEA cape and saving the day.

DUIFG

Can all the pricks slating Pepe stand up here and get slappped

Paulinho

Bellerin at the end showing his ability to make consistent runs on the outside.

More impressive than Tierney tonight.

Cesc Appeal

I think you’ve got to go with a Martinelli, Auba, Pepe front line on Sunday if you’re selecting on merit based on performances.

Nelson

Against a weak team, Ceballos looks good in midfield. Willock and AMN will be demoted for awhile.

Just Another Customer

yeah if only Guen could go forward instead of babysitting Xhaka at the base of the midfield eh?

thanks for nothing captain that can only talk shit in the press

Biggles

The question is, if we were to bin Emery now, who could we bring in?

Allegri is available. I think he’d look at the squad and think he could probably do something useful with it – we’ve got an excellent front line and a pile of decent young players.

Mourinho is available, but I wouldn’t want him.

Aside from them… there’s no particularly big names out there, is there?

TheLegendaryDB10

We were bailed by Pepe if we are honest with ourselves. It really looked like we would lose and then draw. Every time we were on the front foot we were very wobbly. Great moves that failed time and time again. Not good enough at a higher level in the game.

Cesc Appeal

What’s really good is I thought Pepe was our best player against Sheffield and he continued that tonight with end product, 2 goals and was unlucky not to have an assist as well.

Un na naai

Db10

That wouldn’t make sense
He throwing away points to prep the youth players for the league

DUIFG

Tierney quiet game got an assist. The kids ceiling is huge

Un na naai

DUIFGOctober 24, 2019 22:00:21
Can all the pricks slating Pepe stand up here and get slappped

Please

Gervinho loooool

James wood

DUIFG yep Pepe started to look on the money tonight.

Just Another Customer

I think we can play that quick counter with rapid transition from back to front with Allegri tightening up the defense

Un na naai

The real question is

Why is emery applying the handbreak
Look what we have

Aubameyang
Lacazette
Pepe
Martinelli
Ozil
Saka
Ceballos
Guendouzi
Tierney

So much attacking threat. So much scope and variety

Why is he holding this lot back?

Cesc Appeal

Shots: Arsenal 15 Vitoria 17

Shots on Target: Arsenal 5 Vitoria 5

That’s with Arsenal having 67% of the ball and Vitoria 33%.

How can Emery be seeing stuff like this and not think something is badly wrong.