*Hey Siri* find me my finest ‘Mind the gap banter’

by .

via @arsenal

Unai Emery takes charge of Arsenal vs Newcastle this evening in a tense as you like battle that could see Arsenal LEAPFROG United AND Spurs. Imagine the banter lads and laddetes… Arsenal, going above Spurs. A team they said could no longer be deemed Spursy. Title challengers a mere two months ago. The GREATEST crop of players to ever have graced Shit Hart Lane… and we could go above them in a transition season.

A thought so appetizing, even Harry Kane couldn’t resist licking it. Watching Poch and his boys botch a point yesterday gave me so much joy. Imagine moving into your new toilet bowl under the ad headline of ‘THE NEWEST STADIUM IN THE EUROPA LEAGUE’… I am physically aroused at the thought.

There are some watch-outs this evening. Rafa B is a wily old fox. He’s always been a smart tactician and he’s literally rotting away at a Newcastle. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have some secret weapons up his sleeve. Miguel Almirón might not have scored any goals, but be honest, when has a goal drought ever been a problem for a player coming to us? We are a gift for bad records. The guy was MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCERBALL hype over in the states where the speedy wide man would electrify 70,000 fans in Atlanta. He could be a nightmare for a defence that is extremely susceptible to the long ball over the top on the fast counter-attack.

The only other worry we have is that Arsenal have had a whole bunch of players out on international duty, whilst Newcastle will have had 2 weeks to plan and practice a strategem to stifle us.

The game being at home helps, but I truly hope we don’t come back lethargic. We need to fly out the traps like we have done in the last few games. As Mike Tyson once said, ‘everyone has a strategy until they get a smack in the mouth’… the football equivalent of that is an early goal.

Emery, who came to his senses this year when he decided to bring Ramsey and Ozil in from the cold has doubled down on what good players can do for your systems.

“I think we are taking a good performance using a different system and different players,”

“For example, we started the last two matches playing 3-4-1-2.

“But we finished it playing 3-4-3, with players helping us in the 90th minute with a different system and different positions.”

“At first I used information from last year or the last two years. Mesut can play like a No 10 player, or starting on the right or left, in a different system, and he has a good mentality.

“And also Aaron Ramsey can play in a system with two or three midfielders, getting more in the opposition box.

“I used this information with this player and I think this player’s mind is very open to help us, to play in different positions and give us a big performance. He has a very good attitude to do that.”

Amen Unai… the big worry for the summer is how we replace Aaron. It’s not just a talented player we’re losing, it’s someone who understands a North London Derby, a player who knows what the shirt is all about. But fuck it, that’s a worry for another day.

We need a big performance this evening. Newcastle are an easy switch off side, they’re not sexy, they have a poor reputation and complacency could be a problem.

… but the players MUST be tasting Champions League bonus money by now. So let’s hope Emery and his coaches have them firing on greed cylinders.

BIG MATCH, see you in the comments. x

302 Responses to “*Hey Siri* find me my finest ‘Mind the gap banter’”

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  1. Dissenter

    ‘My conclusion thus far is Emery is ok for a transitional manager to dig us out of the Wenger/Gazidis quagmire, but have real concerns about Emery taking us to realistic PL and CL trophy contention’

    We finished 33 points behind the wires last season and 18 points behind second place.
    We haven’t qualified for the CL quarter finals in eons and got a shellacking in our last game against Bayern.

    …yet , some are still bloviating about goals that are currently unreasonable.

    Who builds a CL /league winning team with £70 mil summer spends?

  2. Mr B

    I’d rather spend around 50-60 mil on replacing the goals and assists Aaron brings rather than shipping Mustafi out.