This post won’t be going out on Twitter or Facebook. It’s just for the real ones that find the site every day because they’ve been coming here for years, so I hope you’ll indulge me 3 minutes of your time.
It’s my Mum’s birthday today. She passed on January 3rd after a short illness. I know many of you have shared your experiences of grief in the comments, so I thought it’d only be fair if I shared mine, because it’s really hard, and sometimes it’s comforting to know you are not alone. There’s also no greater honor than having thousands of people read about what an awesome person you were and how much you were loved.
My Mum wasn’t an Arsenal fan. In fact, she was the anti-Arsenal-fan. Use of the word ‘Arsenal’ or any of the associated trigger words for ‘Gooner chat’ were prohibited at family events. I don’t think she ever went to a game, she never wore a shirt, and she would never indulge a conversation about the electric on-field chemistry between Dennis Bergkamp and Freddie Ljungberg.
But she loved that I loved it. She’d tune into a radio station if I had 12 seconds of airtime to talk about Arsene Wenger. She’d collect newspaper clippings if I had something in The Times or a fancy magazine. She’d loosely brag about the things I was doing to anyone that would listen, even if she had absolutely no idea what they were.
Everyone needs someone like that in their life and I was lucky enough to have that in my mum. Total support for a passion she didn’t understand.
I like to write about philosophy, culture, and values when it comes to Arsenal. Today, I’m going to share a few things I learned from her.
Be good to people when it counts. Life is short, petty grievances feel bigger than they are, you never know what is around the corner. Pride is overrated. Empathy isn’t a weakness. Kindness is never wasted, regardless of how it’s received. You won’t ever regret a conversation with a loved one. So make the effort when it counts.
Let your people know you are in their corner. We live in a world engineered for connection that can feel incredibly lonely. Be a reliable person to those you love. You never know what that can mean to the person on the other side of that gesture.
Say yes to everything. My mum was usually my brain trust on new opportunities, her answer was always, ‘yes, do it, you’ll never regret an adventure’… sounds cliche, but I’ve said yes to a whole bunch of dumb stuff and I don’t even regret the bad yeses. Yes has opened the door to a better life and I am thankful every day that she always shoved me in the right direction.
No sad faces. She believed that a life was better lived with a smile on your face. In her last month, that was her one instruction if you were at her side, no sad faces. I’ve never witnessed strength like it. Having your happy life cut short with no bitterness, sadness, or complaints. The only thing she wanted to talk about was weddings she wouldn’t attend and grandkids she wouldn’t meet. That is real power and I couldn’t be prouder or more inspired by it.
Final value. One that I want you to take very seriously if you can. I once went a few weeks without calling her, she called me and said, ‘Pete, real men call their mum.’
… and I always did.
Thank you for reading.
Love you dearly, Mum x
P.S. There’s no greater buzz than showing your mum a piece of work you’ve made and her loving it. This was the last bit that I showed her and she showed it to her friends when they’d go to see her. The poem is about new beginnings and optimism. Kind of beautiful. Xx
Big love to you Pedro, deep condolences for your loss and what a lovely post x
Out of respect for your mum, no fighting for the tr4phy today 🙂
Nice post Peds, those that still have their parents should really appreciate them.
Sorry for your loss Pedro, she sounded like a really nice and sensible person.
Remember, time is a healer or so they say.
Thank you for the poignant reminder and for sharing . She sounds like she was a marvelous lady and you were very blessed to have her!
Quite simply, there are no words of comfort, time is the best healer and remembering all the good bits.
Make every moment count.
Wow… Amazingly beautiful piece, Peds. Thanks for sharing an amazing life philosophy your mom had. I lost my Dad in 2012 and I still think about him everyday. Something will happen or somebody will say something and it will trigger a memory of what My Dad would have said in reply. My Dad never really understood my fascination with football and particularly a game with it’s roots in England but he never failed to miss any of the games of “soccer” I played in growing up. And he would brag on me when I know he had little knowledge of… Read more »
Dear Pedro,I am sorry for the greatest loss you will ever feel.
My lovely Mum died at 44,no illness,just didnt wake up.
She made me an Arsenal fan,as she went to Highbury on a date with a boyfriend once-that was the extent of her football knowledge.
You only truly are gone when people dont speak about you anymore-so long life Pedro’s Mum,and if she sees mine tell her I am sorry I swear too much.
Sorry for your loss Pedro.
Your mom has a very kind face.
Pedro, from the picture that you posted and from what you wrote, it sounds like your mom had that aura some people have. The people who bring you energy and are always a joy to be around. They have a spirit about them that lifts you up and their energy and positivity is contagious. You are so lucky to be her son and I can say that she raised a good man. Keep making her proud. A really important thing I’ll advise you to do when you feel like doing it – every time you think of a story with… Read more »
Pedro
I think I have read Le Grove regularly for about 10 years… and I’ve never read a piece with tears streaming down my face…
What a brilliant poignant tribute that you’ve written. May the many memories you have give you and Geoff (your dad) comfort.
Sending you my very very best!
Your Mum passed on sound advice from a lifetime of experience, may she rest in peace,
That smile in the photo, your description… and then the comments from everybody. Really beautiful.
I think of my mother every day, even after many years. They’re part of us forever.
Very sad for your loss . Sadly I’ve lost both parents and at quite an age myself sometimes feel like an orphan.
I’m sure that time heals to an extent but there’s always the pang in my heart.
Condolences. Thank you for sharing this.
RIP
Thanks for sharing her good advice Pedro – so easy to get away from what matters when going about your day to day life. I’m sorry for your loss. And it’s so important to appreciate every day we have with our loved ones.
Amazing words Pedro.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Your mum sounded ace.
Remember, memories exist outside of time and space x
Lovely poignant post. It will resonate with anyone who has suffered loss.
Take the wonderful lessons learned in your life and you won’t go wrong.
Bless
Mum’s are the best ❤
Sorry for your loss nice tribute
My sincerest condolences Peter.
Your post moved me to tears.
Your mum sounds like a great person and you should be proud of her.
Mum’s are your source of wisdom. Remember everything she said to you be it criticisms or encouragement.
RIP Mrs Pedro.
Bravo Pedro. Amazing post.
This is more than just a blog.
Sorry for your loss Pedro ❤️
May her soul rest well in Peace, General.
Thanks for the heartfelt blog today. When a parent dies, it feels like something that is dear and closest to us has been ripped out of our lives. I experienced this when my mother died and I was close to her. Here is what I did to deal with my grief. 1. Rely on friends and be patient with them as it maybe awkward for them because they may not know what to say. 2. Maintain a regular routine, as the structure of your normal routine will do you a lot of good and helps you to avoid focusing on… Read more »
That was a beautiful, heartfelt post and one I unfortunately can relate to. Keep making her proud Pedro.
Am sorry for your loss, Pedro , may her soul rest in peace…..she lives on in you
Sorry for your loss Pedro.
She literally gave birth to Le-grove. Thank you ma’am.
Aw Pete. I’m so fucking sorry for your loss mate. There aren’t enough words. I dread dread dread the day I lose my mom, truly a frightening prospect to lose the person who brought you into this world. Here’s to what you’ve accomplished man, only reason i come here really is your consistency, there’s lots of arsenal info on the web. been more than 10 years now, can’t even remember when i started but Geoff was still writing. Anyways, i hope you do it up and celebrate her. I hope the good memories come flooding back. Tears, pain, it’s all… Read more »
Beautiful post Pedro and my condolences on your loss brother. Your Mam had that glow about her as Raptora wrote about, I’d say she gave as good as she got and was the life of the party. She looks like a very sweet and warm person from the photo. It takes maturing and devloping into a grown man to fully appreciate your mother in my experience, mine raised x3 boys all on her own all within x4 years in age, no idea how to this day with a severely and chronically manically depressed, alcoholic and absentee hushand to boot that… Read more »
Lovely words Pedro, your mum sounds like she was a great lady. Thank you for sharing this.
Pedro, a beautiful tribute. Thanks for sharing.
What a loving tribute to your wonderful Mum, Pedro.
Thanks for sharing something so deeply personal.
My Mum died in 1986 aged 43, and it hits you like a brick wall.
It’s a great narrative and you have lots of great memories.
Like all of us who have lost our Mum’s, Dad’s, or any close relative,
let them RIP.
Pete, I am so very sorry for your loss. Like you, I have lost my Mum. It was May 1994 on the day England drew with Norway. I had been out the night before up west with some old mates before going to the match. I had tried calling home to check in but without any luck. I knew something wasn’t right. It was only when I got home a neighbour rushed out to tell me Mum had collapsed and to get to the hospital. When I arrived I got a last smile from her before they sedated her. She… Read more »
Pedro
You’re the champ, my man
To think you kept your the routine of blogging about Arsenal through your pain to an often ungrateful lot of us.
One day at a time
Lean on your faith
Lean in your friends
Know there’s no such thing as closure and it’s perfectly okay to feel pain, long afterwards.
Very long time reader non commenter. Condolences ❤ and thank you for brightening every day with your amazing Arsenal blog!! Couldn’t start the day without it
So sorry for your loss Pedro. Your Mum sounds like a wonderful lady and your post is a great testimony to that.
My Gran sounds very similar to your Mum. I miss her dearly but the strength she showed in her final moments will always stay with me.
Keep up the good work brother. I am rather silent in the comments nowadays but still check in every day.
Gav
So sorry for your loss Pedro. Your Mum sounds like a wonderful lady and your post is a great testimony to that.
My Gran sounds very similar to your Mum. I miss her dearly but the strength she showed in her final moments will always stay with me.
Keep up the good work brother. I am rather silent in the comments nowadays but still check in every day.
Gav
Your mum was amazing ❤❤. Fondly remember every day you had together and live the rest to honour her.
Thank you for sharing, may we all be better people for it.
So sorry for your loss Pedro, she really sounds a bit special
A superb tribute and some very sound advice from your Mum; cherish the memories.
Condolences on your loss.
Beautiful tribute Pedro and Happy Birthday to your Mum.
My sincere condolences. What a strong, powerful post. My son popped to the post office yesterday. Some old boy had lost his bearings and was lost. He put him in his car. Went round the block until the chap remembered where he lived and my son took him to his front door. He got that kindness from his mum. Be the best person you can be and live a good life. All of you.
And yet you still kept able to blog without any of us having a clue….that should tell people enough about you Pedro…a sound individual. The loss of a loved one serves us many different lessons….but the loss of a Mum is incalculable. Not that you need any of us idiots to tell you,but your life will never be the same again. Perspective I think is the biggest lesson we take from the death of a loved one , because nothing else matters. All my very best to you Pedro. None of us had a clue until this evening,how could we?…that… Read more »
Sorry for your loss Pedro.
I clearly remember when I lost my mum in Feb 2010.
A bit strange that the memory is football related.
It was the day when Shrawcross decided to snap Ramsey’s leg in two. I was on Le Grove to get a bit of a time out from the grief and stress, only to be left gobsmacked.
Pedro, I haven’t missed a post since I found LeGrove in summer 2011 (Arteta!) scouring for Arsenal transfer news. This is my first comment ever. Sorry for your loss…. Your mom sounds like an incredible person and a great mom. Thanks for sharing, I know that must be hard.
Sorry for your loss, Pedro. Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute.
Sorry for your.loss Pedro. The values you enunciated coming from her is pure gold. In our part of the world we are told that Mother’s are the closest to God on earth. She gave your evrything and she is probably in a better place. Celebrate her life and may her soul RIP.
Sorry to hear of your loss, Pedro. Losing a mum is one of the toughest experiences we have to go through.
The grief never goes away but the memories make slowly makes it easier to bare.
Condolences on your loss. Lots of love, brother.
Thank you for sharing your story Pedro. I hope she understood how much joy and enjoyment you bring us every week with the blog and podcast!
Beautiful tribute in memory of your mom Pedro. So sorry for your loss…this post warmed my heart. Thank you for sharing…healing through UBUNTU!!
Condolences and RIP.
Beautiful and touching.
Thank you for sharing, Pedro.
RIP Mrs Wood.
Takes a lot of bravery and vulnerability to write this Pedro, it’s inspiring.
Take heart Pedro❤
from my family to yours, our deepest condolences. and happy birthday mum.
Been coming to this page for many years, and this is the best post you’ve done. My condolences, Pete. She sounds like a wonderful lady.
Wise words passed down from a beautiful person. Resonance, my dad would smuggle me into the clock end from about age of nine, stood me on a folding chair, saw every home game of the 71′ double season, he passed last year. Mum 4 years previous. You miss their treasure when they’re gone so DO phone your mum/dad
What a beautiful post. Sorry for your loss Pete. Hope you’re okay!
I am from India, writing comment for the first time to anything
Your blogs are tremendous.thank you for everything and sorry for your loss
Pedro
Lovely post.
Both my parents passed away over the last five years. It’s hard but think of all those incredible positives.
What a super picture. You and your mum together.
Cheers.
I’ve been coming to this site for a long, long time but have posted only once or twice. However, having lost my dad in 2005, and being of similar to you, I felt compelled to comment.
A beautiful post, and the smile from you both as you take the picture needs no words. You can see the love.
Sorry for your loss.
Adam
Pedro
My deepest sympathies for your sad loss.
Wish you and your family all the best.
Your mother provided your family with a sense of proportion with her lack of interest in football!
My heartfelt condolences to you on the loss of your mum. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and tribute to her. ❤️ I am so sorry for your loss Peter.
Hi Pedro – so sorry to hear that your loss was a recent one.
My Mum passed away in 2006 and I still miss her and think about her now. The description of not understanding football but always being pleased with my own passion was bang on for me too. She did however once tell me when I was 17 or 18 that I’d grow out of it one day.
Now at the age of 60, I’m wondering when that will happen?
Excellent read Pete and my most heartfelt condolences to you. All the best
Sending love to you and yours Pedro 💙
There is a genuine look of joy and empathy in this woman that is rare to come by
Hi Pedro. Condolences on your loss. You should know that your honesty and emotion is not un-noticed. And your bravery too. Oh, and thanks for your blogs.
Sorry Pedro for your loss
May her soul rest in peace
This was class pedro. I am sorry for your loss. But you have beautiful memories because of her. Much love to you.
So sorry to hear about you losing your Mum Pedro. I lost my mum in January last year and it turned my world upside down. It’s a cliche, but I don’t think you ever do get over it, you just learn to live with it.
As an aside, how you managed to continue to produce content on here throughout and put up with people (myself included), making comments that you probably had no patience for at the time is a testament to your strength of character. Undoubtedly your mum was and is very proud of you.
Big love.
Great post Pedro, I lost my mum nearly a year ago too. All the best.
Pedro,I am sorry that you are going through this. My mother died when I was 12 and my world fell apart. For years I pushed the memories away because they hurt too much. Later I learned that it was in those memories that I would find the joy,the lessons,the strength to go on. It is obvious from your post that you already know this . I find that remarkable. You have my sympathy and respect.
Long time reader but never commented before, wishing you the best
Pedro,
I can feel that you are very attached to your Mum. May you post give you peace !
thank you for your inspiring peace pedro and take care 🙂
I had a very similar passing away experience with my dad in 2008. thank you for reminding me of all the good stuff that he tough me too and giving the opportunity to relive it all through that beautifull writing.
Difficult for me to read that for me Pedro after the loss of my wife
2 days before XMas after 56 years ,beautifully written by you of your
wonderful Mum and my sincere thought’s are with you at this emotional
time.
We will strive to go forward holding on to their memories.❤️.
You remain ever the gentleman Peter, my sincerest condolences to you and your family. Mothers, simply put, are the glue that holds a family together. She will never be far away from your thoughts and always in your heart. Best wishes and continued strength.
Im so sorry to hear of your wife’s passing James,. I know you mentioned a while back to me that she was not well. May you find strength from your memories and continue forward. Take care, James.
I note the red cardigan Pedro.
Your mum really did love Arsenal!👍
Pedro,
We say “May her memory be a blessing.” The memory of your mother clearly is.
My parents died over three decades ago. The sense of loss may never leave you. But you have certainly embraced a healthy sense of celebration. And that is priceless.
Pedro,
Been reading Le-grove since its inception, never commented here but there’s a first for everything and I could not not comment on this.
My sincerest condolences to you and your family, I’m glad that you she’s instilled such good traits in you and has left such a legacy.
All the best
MT
Top post. Top man. Top mum.
Humble post Pedro out there are your best ever
Regards
Terraloon
Lovely post, thanks for opening up and using your grief to try and make us all better people.
Great photo of your Mum too.
Steve
Sorry for your great loss Pedro.. Your Mum sounds amazing. It will never be the same. I’m so so Blessed to still have my Amazing Wonderful Special Mum. I speak to Her every day and try to be the Best Son I can be to repay Her and my Beloved Dad who I lost in 2010. To repay them for a wonderful childhood and all the hard work and sacrifices they made for us to bring us all up as well rounded humble kids. The worst day in my life when I lost My Dad. I got my love of… Read more »
Lovely tribute to a lovely lady..
ThankYou for sharing such personal stuff ,.Brave ,elegant and beautiful.
You are blessed to have her memory ,and such wonderful stories.
I’m sure she felt blessed and proud to have raised you and set you free.
Keep it up Pedro.
Beautiful tribute to a beautiful lady, lots of love to you Pedro ❤️
God bless you Pedro for your beautiful & poignant post on your dear Mother & hopefully she is RIP 🙏
Peter, a poignant but sad read, it’s sometimes easier not to keep in touch, with your Mum, but you haven’t lost her as she will always be with you. Remember the good times and happy memories. I lost my wife and Mother of my three kids 20 years when they were just teenagers but they still have great memories. Stay strong!
God bless Pedro.One day you’ll meet again I promise you.Excepit will be for Eternity.🙏No one loves you like a mum.RIP
Lovely, sweet and touching tribute to a lovely lady ❤️
Pedro
Sorry about your mum. It sure is a privilige to have some one in your life like her. You always need some one to stand behind you no matter what. Her memories and love will help you get going in life.
Have a happy one mate..
Pedro,
A beautiful and really moving piece – personal, but also universal.
We are who we are because of others, and most importantly, because of our mothers.
My mum died over 10 years ago, but I still miss her.
Pedro I have so much respect for you for writing that and putting it out there for the world to see, I hope it helps you find some peace. I lost my dad 12 years ago when I was only in my early 20s, he was the reason I am an Arsenal fan, and I always wonder what he would make of how Arsenal are doing (I think he would have backed Wenger to the bitter end, for example). I like what Raptora said, write down any memory that comes to mind, and be sure to back up any videos/photos… Read more »