TRANSFER WINDOW HANGS ON SALES: WHO GOES?

The hot rumour today is… Onana of Everton to Arsenal.

Where is the rumour from?

Teamtalk.

Why do you do it to yourself?

Arsenal has to sell before we can buy this window and I’m not really sure who we’re selling if we’re going for Onana? Do we need a destroyer? Aren’t we beyond that? Our midfield needs ballplayers with craft and guile. Not sure Onana hits the mark there.

Regardless, we have to sell before we can buy. So I have my doubts we’re asking Everton about prices before we’ve even landed on a hot exit rumor. So knowing that’s the case – who are the most likely assets we could sell this January?

EMILE SMITH ROWE

I know you’ve been in your group chats positioning young Emile as the savior of our season.

Why do you do it to yourself?

I would say his career at Arsenal is done. I think it’s a combination of availability and probably not being quite good enough off the ball. That said, he’s a beastly talent, he makes assists, he has goal contributions to his name, and he can give any team momentum off the bench. If someone needs creativity in the ranks this January, his name should be on the list.

PRICE: £30m

EDDIE NKETIAH

Listen, you might not rate him at Arsenal level, but this man could do things at a number of clubs in the Premier League. He can hold the ball up, he can move it forward, and he used to be able to finish on the regular. He’s a top-quality player who would be a star for a team like Crystal Palace.

Why is this rumour interesting? Because we’re hearing the ‘NOT FOR SALE’ chatter coming out of the media outlets. That could be true, but I would say in this case, it’s quite likely that we’d gobble up that Hale-Ender pure profit money and try and do something.

Still feels like summer is more likely, but at the right price, I don’t see Arteta saying no. Remember, January usually comes with a premium. Biggest question would be how do you upgrade? Could Kai Havertz pick up his slack for 5 months and we move on a midfielder? Because we’re certainly not getting our main target in Ivan Toney.

PRICE: £40m

THOMAS PARTEY

The player was due to play in AFCON at some point. One would guess it would have been closer to the end of the group stages. That would put his return at the end of the month providing there’s been no relapse. For me, he’d be an incredible addition for the team. He’s the man you need in the Champions League. He’s the double pivot away at the Ehtiad. He could just slip into our midfield now and add a new dimension to our play.

But… he’s a crock. Saudi clubs were very interested in him last summer and I doubt that interest has subsided. His next move is going to be for a big payday and I doubt many European clubs would take the risk on his injury record and off-the-field love for parteying.

Expect bids to land for him. Expect Arsenal to consider them.

PRICE: £40m (has to be otherwise why bother?)

AARON RAMSDALE

Ultimately our best bet for a move. The keeper who was benched for someone with an even worse save percentage will have admirers from around the league. He could make Chelsea and Newcastle better and those are two teams that are desperate for Top 4. Newcastle is a little more desperate than most at the moment, Eddie Howe gave him a chance, it could be a premium reunion.

Again, I like this story because Arsenal are telling the media he is not for sale at any price. If you believe that, I have a new crypto token to sell you that guarantees very good returns.

PRICE: £40m

CONCLUSION

We are finally in a positions as a club where we have assets to sell that people want. This window is all about the desire to pay a premium. Newcastle can afford to, but the clubs interested in the rest of our talent might not be in the market with the same sort of cash/money.

Arsenal will no doubt be scenario planning every which way if a bid does come in, because if we sell, we have to buy. Karl Hein ain’t ready to be a back-up to a keeper who has not really settled that well. If we lose Thomas Partey, we’re extremely light in midfield, and very close to a Mo Elneny One Last Dance. Eddie might have a solve in Kai, but that’ll leave us short at left 8. Sad to say it matters very little what happens to Smith Rowe.

Right, time for a new show. We have Jacob Hawley of Instagram fame joining the pod for a regular rival watch. Let us know what you think!

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