REISS LIGHTNING BOLTS FOR DOOR (KIND OF)

24-YR-OLD WINGER CONSIDERS OPTIONS

WELCOME EURO 2024.

The Scots took over Germany for a day, enjoying a great party before the game, only to be taught a brutal lesson by a masterclass from Julian Nagelsmann.

Can I offer a hot take on international football? Absolutely. I cannot stand the players from weaker teams who try to gain fame through on-pitch brutality. The challenge by Ryan Porteous on Gundogan was pure Stoke City, and it could have ended the player's career. It was clearly a heat-of-the-moment action, but it's a scenario we're all too familiar with when it comes to substandard players facing the best in the game.

I enjoy some of the other hot takes on the internet:

“What did I tell you about Musiala?”

“Florian Wirtz has been on my radar for a while.”

Give me a break with the self-credit for recognizing players valued at over 100 million euros. That said, I did see a tweet from a woman in 2013 who had spotted Musiala when he was at Fulham! That's some impressive talent identification.

But… what a player! Best friends with Mika Biereth, an output machine, with only one type of strike: THUNDERBOLT. It gives me all the feelings watching him dance through defenses. When people say joy has left a game that is about space and control… point to this boy, who could have been an England player!

The HUGE Arsenal story is that I appear to have jinxed Reiss Nelson into looking for a new club. Who’d have seen that coming?

David Ornstein announced his first exclusive of the summer, telling the world Reiss has informed Arsenal he wants to ‘assess’ his options this summer. The number we want is £20m, and West Ham, Forest, Palace, and Fulham all want a piece.

Hold on… ‘assess’?

Is that like a squatter informing their landlord they are going to assess Foxtons before deciding whether to move? It feels that way. We’re going to have to send Lenny McLean’s ghost if we want to exit Reiss from his monster deal. I think he just loves Arsenal too much.

Word of warning to Reiss - Rob Holding stayed at Arsenal, didn’t get the minutes, and now he’s getting bounced from Crystal Palace. At 24, you need to be playing games. He’s not getting them at Arsenal next year. It’s time to go. Fingers crossed ‘assessing’ can be shifted into ‘SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING.’

The final story of the day - Everton wants £70m for Branthwaite. United have opened the bidding at £35m. The Athletic says their total budget is £50m. Doesn’t opening the bidding feel very much like Arsenal circa 2012? It does to me. They’re a long way from operating like the MIGHTY Arsenal. They’re also a long way from splashing cash like a drunk billionaire. Pain is coming under new ownership. It has to get way worse before it gets better.

Here’s a lovely episode of Thursday Therapy for your ears. Pedro, Matt, and Jacob Hawley. Good times were had!