LISBON BRUTALITY - ARE ARSENAL BACK?

ARSENAL SPANK BEST PORTUGAL HAS TO OFFER

I swear, man, it’s so amusing to think that I spent the last two weeks in conversations online with people who were crying because they thought Arsenal were done for the season and we should just focus on the League Cup.

Arteta gets his captain back, fattens the squad with returning players, and has two weeks on the training ground, and guess what? We’re decent again.

Arsenal DESTROYED Sporting, a team that has gone unbeaten this season, ripped City a new one, and has the ‘best’ striker in Europe.

5-1.

We were really complaining two weeks ago, again, that after a dry run, Arsenal might not be able to attack and score again for the rest of the decade.

Now look at us. After not scoring in four away games in the Champions League, we just smashed five past one of the best teams in Europe.

Can I also point to this excellent tweet?

So - to put everything in perspective. We’re not even out of November and we’re 7th in our UCL group with all our hard games out of the way, and we’re 4th in the Premier League, 1 point off of Manchester City.

Let’s talk about Man City.

I didn’t think it could get worse for them—but they gave up a 3-0 lead against Feyenoord and drew. Pep did that to his own face and told the media he self-harmed (I know we’re supposed to be post-woke, but come on man, a bit crass to say that). Firstly, it’s clear that Pep couldn’t handle a banter years setup… no way he’d slum it in the Championship. Secondly (is secondly a word?), isn’t it wild how many problems they’ve picked up in the space of four months?

• Ageing squad

• Poor backup signings

• Serious dip in confidence

Arsenal fans were self-immolating after a draw with Brighton because they thought that might be too many points dropped. Now City are getting bantered by San Marino twitter for a lack of wins.

Back to Lisbon.

First goal: Ødegaard, out on the far right like Nigel Farage, finds Rice inside. Rice takes one touch and finds Timber with perfect timing. The offside trap is beaten, the cross is zipped across goal to the back post for a Martinelli tap-in.

Next big incident: Partey hit the target from range for the second time in two games.

Next assist: Thomas Partey picks out Saka’s run with a sublime over-the-shoulder pass. Saka clips it past the keeper into the path of Kai Havertz for another goal that looked like a proper forward’s effort.

Oh my word… are we scoring normal goals?

Our third goal arrived from a Declan corner to the back post. Gabriel BEASTED his marker, scored, then stole the Gyökeres cele.

Did you spend the last three months saying we should have signed the Swedish Stéphane Guivarc'h? Delete those ‘EDU SHOULD HAVE SPENT THE £100M’ tweets right now.

Sporting were better in the second half. Morita forced a solid early save from Raya. They scored from a corner after Calafiori fell over trying to challenge Gonçalo Inácio. The corner was low, and the shot was too close for David Raya.

Gyökeres tried to sneak into the game…

… this picture kind of summed up how he plays against defenders at that level. He couldn’t match the power, pace, or aggression of our centre-backs, so he resorted to taking strikes from ridiculous angles instead of taking on the player from a good position.

Gotta say, I love to see it. Made me appreciate what we have.

There was a moment when you felt they might launch a comeback, but then Martin Ødegaard showed Gyökeres how you go bold in a one-vs-one situation. He stormed into the box, let himself get crunched, and won the peno.

Bukayo, looking confident as ever, swept the ball into the bottom right like a Montana mixologist sliding a whiskey to the end of the bar.

Did that work? Be honest. Too much like an English student trying to flex after reading 16 pages of Cormac McCarthy? Maybe.

Our fifth arrived when Sheriff Merino was hauled onto the glossy green pitch late with little choice. He let fly with a strike like judgment itself. That boy damn near tore the keeper’s paw clean off. The ball rose up like messy shrapnel, hung in the air similar to a fat, breathless dog on a crucifix, and there stood The Kid Trossard, calm as a preacher at a funeral of his own making, nudgin’ it past that white line of no return, where all things are decided.

Was that, you know, a bit better?

Fuck you. How dare you slander me.

Last point of the report: Gyökeres finally got the better of our defence. But only when Kiwior came on and did Championship things and let him hit the outside of the post.

So what did we learn? I don't rate Gyökeres.

Arsenal locked him down with ease. The idea that any club would drop £100m to get to the next level is a bit of a joke. Keep Arsenal away from him based on that awful outing.

But Arsenal?

Wow. Looks like we’re getting that post-Dubai bounce a little earlier this season. The team looks aggressive, sharp on the ball, and so well-coached. I don’t understand why folk are so fast to write off Arteta when it’s so clear he’s one of the very best coaches. Arsenal cut through Sporting brutally and with ease. We nullified their threats. The boys mercilessly spanked one of the form sides in Europe in 3rd gear. I don’t want to go too early… but we’re really f*cking good.

So what can we put this bump in good fortune down to?

Arteta always tries to evolve his system in the early part of the season, and there’s a learning curve—that affects the flow state. When the new system with the new players clicks… it leads to an uptick in performance.

When you lose a captain or a best player, it affects performance. Arsenal fans didn’t want to believe that was true until Rodri broke for City and their world collapsed to the point of managerial self-harm. Liverpool is a one-man team at the moment. No one wants to hear it, but now he’s miffed at being overlooked for a new deal, you will see how that pans out.

Context is ALWAYS a factor. Liverpool has had an easy run of games. Arsenal has not. Arsenal has had 3 red cards in games that have cost them. In the Liverpool game against Southampton, the ref gave a Southampton forward a card for getting fouled by Kelleher in the box. That luck doesn’t last. Liverpool, in my opinion, are the Spurs of last season. Just wait.

The most important ‘winning’ factor over the past 10 seasons is not how good your starting 11 is… it’s how few distractions you have.

City have been distractionless—now they have loads of them.

Liverpool have been distractionless—their fans don’t know it, but they have loads brewing, and it could get ugly.

Arsenal don’t have them. We’re a young team, heading into our peak, and our biggest issues have been luck (reds & injuries) and system development (time is the solve). Both our issues are natural and can be solved.

You can’t solve for aging fullbacks, your best creator never being available, your manager wanting to retire (or self-harm), your Ballon d’Or winner being out for the year, your backups being too old or too slow/inaccurate with passing, and three of your best players having 7 months on their deals… over-indexing on GOOD luck.

This is why I think it’s our year. Gary Neville saying ‘no excuses’ because he’s accepting that Man City has excuses is ridiculous. Arsenal would have an excuse if we lost 4 of our best players to a golf cart accident. But none of the media pontificating matters… we’re in great shape, we look like winners, the world knows we’re trouble this season.

Ok, that’s all I have.

Big love. x

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