INTERNAL SOLUTIONS FC: TWO STARS EMERGE!

MONSTER WIN KEEPS HOBBLED ARSENAL ALIVE!

You just gotta love a game like that Leicester one.

Arsenal were the hottest brand of garbage for most of the game. The footballing version of the GoT season finale. 10 days of R&R in Dubai and we started the game like the boys had been put into one of those EXTREME IRONMAN races where 62% of the contestants perish after mile 3.

Sterling, playing on the left, put on a disaster class so bad that FEMA in the US of A was making plans to head to Leicester to support the Arteta recovery post-game.

Then the magic happened. Mikel Merino was given 10 minutes. Arteta tapped the clunky left-sided 8 and whispered the thing all midfield cloggers want to hear:

'Get in the fucking mixer and make it happen.'

... and get in the mixer he did.

Down our end, a disgustingly good ball from Ayew was fizzed across our six-yard box unchallenged. It made it to the back post, and it looked like a certain Bobby De Cordova-Reid goal, but MLS was on hand for the most important touch of the 90.

Arsenal went down the other end, Ethan picked up the ball outside the box in a dangerous position, he zipped a perfect cross to Mikel, the midfielder leapt like a dog pulling sausages off a BBQ and connected his beefy noggin to that Nike ball with serious poundage, and watched his header slide into the net.

IT WAS A MIRACLE! MIKEL MERINO WAS DOING OLLIE WATKINS THINGS!

He wasn't finished. His second goal had all the elegance of Margot Robbie pulling a cigarette from a Marlboro box. Trossard fizzed a low cross to the back post, Merino watched it like a hawk tracking a pigeon in Canary Wharf, and swept a first-time finish past the Leicester keeper like doing striker things was his, you know, thing.

It. Was. Epic.

As epic as this kid? No. Not at all.

Worth noting, Odegaard set the ball rolling by beating a man and putting Calafiori through in midfield. The Italian protected the ball and released Trossard. Trossard found the Merino by beating 7 players with his movement and pass.

All, very good.

Was it a more important win than Manchester City last week? Absolutely. That was the game the media wanted us to lose. A team that nearly always scores firing blanks against a team that always concedes was perfect 'Arteta ain't it bait'... but it flopped.

Internet Arsenal fans, disgracing themselves all game, were tweeting about our January transfer window all game. Thank f*ck these bores aren’t in the away end or in the ground when we’re trying to win games.

Ollie Watkins? Couldn't help Villa beat 10-man Ipswich. Chelsea's £600m spent on forwards in 2 years couldn't stop them from falling to a Brighton team beaten 7-0 last week. Let's see if Mathys Tel helps a Spurs team in freefall.

All of the bullshit narrative about Arsenal and transfer window of doom and we're 4 points behind Liverpool with 4 of our forward line out over the medium term. Do you know how mad that is?

The character of this squad, without doubt, is fucking incredible.

The character of the moaners in our fanbase, not so much. Were the opening 80 minutes dross? Yes. They were. But the squad is a mess right now. We're on life support because our manager is deluded about the damage he's doing to his players with his old-school fitness mindset. But maybe the cataclysmic results of his ways will make him focus over the next two weeks. Because my word... if you can stay in the title race against a Liverpool side on the luckiest run in history with the squad we have... you're in good shape.

… on Liverpool. If they had the injuries we had, they would be 7th place right now. No doubt about it. I am more convinced than ever that 1) We are a better team than them, and we will prove it at Anfield. 2) When their time comes, the crash is going to be spectacular. They are a team propped up on the momentum of a blessed season and some voodoo hex with teams losing major players before they play Liverpool. Konsa, out for Villa. Happens every single week. Always remember, a Liverpool supporting VAR made sure Saliba was red-carded against Bournemouth so he wasn’t about for the Liverpool game.

To punctuate that last point: Haaland, a mutant monster, looks like he's out for a while after limping off against Newcastle. How many times has that happened this season now? It's crazy.

But Arsenal are still in it.

Let's talk about Ethan Nwaneri.

What the fuck is this kid? I say this without hyperbole... he is better than Saka was at that age. Bukayo was slumming it as a left back in a shit Emery team. Ethan is lifting Arsenal by the scruff of its neck and battering experienced players. I've never seen anything like it. This is a kid who has a market value that would probably be £100m. Arteta started the season with him as understudy to Odegaard. Now he's doing Bukayo things! That performance was so, so good.

Declan Rice also stepped up. He drove the team. Took on some of that Kai energy. I thought he was world class. More goals needed from him. But great stuff.

Martin Odegaard came in for some flak. He hasn't found his peak this season. But it's really hard to be too critical of an attacking midfielder when he's playing with makeshift forwards every week.

The job of Arteta now is to state, categorically, that the next 7 games will be built around Merino. He looks like Kai, does Kai things, but seemed to have more sauce in front of goal. I am gassed, so maybe that's unfair, but you have to go with the big lad who eats space like I eat chicken nuggets at 1am when my wife goes to bed. There is no stronger force in football than momentum. Merino has that now. Why can't he do it against West Ham? The biggest difference between this week and last is we spent last week trying to work out how to get the most out of Sterling. Now we have 7 days to work out how to get the most out of Merino... who has only played 1,200 minutes this season.

Two of our new attackers have played less than 1,200 minutes this season. That is like having new players.

So, just to return to the journey. We haven't won anything. It's painful when your own personal ideas of what is needed are not realized. But once the thing you wanted hasn't happened, shut the fuck up, and support what we have. If you can't enjoy the journey of a young team, keeping in the mix against a team in god-mode, what's the fucking point?

Thankfully, most people who read this are on the same page. Enjoy it until we are out of contention. Then vent. This is sport, if you can't dream, then you're watching the wrong sport.

This team, without doubt, will win major trophies. We'll add Sesko, a goal-scoring winger, Zubimendi, and an actual backup keeper. Those names give us the best squad in the league, one of the best in Europe... and the great thing? This current squad could still win a trophy this season without those names. It's a long shot. But LFC has Wolves, Villa, City, and Newcastle inside 15 days. Off the back of a terrible moment against Everton.

Every team has bad moments; Liverpool haven't had any, but I am more convinced than ever there could be a blip coming.

Let's see.

Sending big love to the believers. x

P.S. Sub up and get on the On The Whistle. Lots of good fun was had.

LEICESTER VS ARSENAL | ON THE WHISTLE