DEAD LEAGUE LANDMINES

ARSENAL TOPPLE SHODDY IPSWICH, BUT NEARLY AT A COST

Here are some things that I’m starting to convince myself of… the number one is that Mikel Arteta knows he had a role in the collapse of the Premier League title run this season. I see the way he’s rotating important players in ways he might not have five months ago. It looks like he’s making decisions that don’t seem immediately obvious. It feels like someone might have pulled him to one side to tell him what he needs to do to win the Champions League.

If that’s wrong, don’t send me a DM, I don’t want to know. I’m manifesting toxic positivity onto spirits, shadows, and Matrix-like dreams of a better Arsenal future.

I did NOT want to see any of our best players out against one of the three whipping boys yesterday… but I understand there are some things at play.

We have some players that aren’t fit right now and they need to get fit for the semi-finals of the Champions League.

Second place wasn’t locked – making it count is symbolic and a perception thing, but let’s be clear, perception is really f*cking important in elite-level football, especially with our fanbase who fall over themselves to call Arteta and the project DOGE-level fraudulent at every turn.

We are blessed with an easy week. There’s a sweet spot with rotation. Anything over 10 days can run the risk of players feeling a little bit rusty. If you take players out of Ipswich and Palace, that’s a 13-day break, which might not be the greatest of moves.

Via FotMob:

That lineup, bar the full-backs, is pretty much how I’d imagine we’ll be rocking the first leg against PSG. It played with force against an Ipswich team that has no right to be in the Premier League right now. It was almost embarrassing how easy it was for Arsenal to control the game.

Arsenal were two up inside 30 minutes. The first goal arrived when Trossard fashioned a cheeky shot under the weight of an Ipswich’s Morsy, punched the ball through some legs and past a keeper who had no real sight of the ball. The second came down the right, Saka crossed to Merino, Merino backheeled it to Martinelli at the back post who scored the easiest goal of the season. His 50th goal for The Arsenal. I am desperately trying to scrub all evidence I called for Berta to sell him to Madrid.

Then the game took a bad turn… Leif Davis, sick of getting embarrassed all game, did what all average cloggers do in times like these… dropped a reducer on Saka’s Achilles and found himself sent off. Now, the ref did the right thing—he pulled out a red card without the need for 50 replays. The commentators on NBC said “he put more on it, but it wasn’t a red” and it blows my mind. What is it with pundits in their 50s defending career-ending violence? Saka gets booted like that every week in the Premier League and people just laugh at him. The Ipswich fans had the temerity to boo him.

Saka actually went on to have 20 minutes of gloriously bad missed chances. It was quite shocking by his standards, but clear he was getting out all the rough misses before Paris.

The second half saw some heavier rotation.

Via FotMob:

Time for two more goals. Trossard scored a lovely goal from a short corner. Ethan scored a Frank Lampard special, getting favorable ricochets from speculative shooting.

There was no more player drama to speak of, Arteta said Saka was okay, and Arsenal lived to fight another day.

So… the big story is we’ve probably secured second spot in the Premier League. We’re 7 clear of Newcastle, who lost to Villa. Forest can close the gap to 6 points, but they have a very tough cough away game against Spurs tomorrow. Getting Champions League is the main goal, there’s no chance we’ll lose out there, so a third year in the Champions League.

Well done, Arsenal.

As for Arsenal? It seems like the squad is coming strong just when we need it to.

Trossard. False 9-ing. We like it. Everything worked. 10 out of 10. Two goals. No notes. This man is a total sicko. When he’s told he has 10 games to replace Ødegaard, he hates it. When he’s benched for being average, he suddenly starts feeling like he’s being victimised, and all of a sudden he shows up with big finishes and massive performances. I hope Arteta and his coaching staff are going to sit him down this week and tell him he’s a load of shite and they’re thinking of starting one of the double-barrelled surname Hale-Enders over him. Instant hat-trick against PSG.

Mikel Merino is sensational. We might be backtracking a little bit on saying we had the worst summer of all time, because he’s been better than any striker that was signed in January, and he’s had a better output than most 9s in the league. Haters are saying he didn’t mean the assist against Ipswich, but really, are you going to doubt him in the form he’s showing? I love how he’s crafted this super unique role of both being a striker and an 8 that can drop out of pocket. He has such a powerful engine, he can breeze a very exhausting role. It’s also worth flagging that he’s fresh because he’s played very little football this season.

Saka might have blown his lines in front of goal, but my word, do I like the metamorphosis of the boy to the man. He’s not the kid asking Beckham politely if he’ll sign his branded Stanley Cup. No, he’s the guy who is feasting off away day Hater-ade. The man doesn’t give a fu*k about fans who want him to be a certain way… he’s starting to truly understand the magnitude of his powers. There’s a moment when you stop being grateful for the gifts bestowed to you… and you own them. That is what is happening to Saka – and he knows, in a few days, he’ll get to prove out his powers and show people who he is. I’m loving it.

Martin Ødegaard also started to show signs of life. He landed an assist (clumsy miscontrol for Tross, but I do NOT care), hit the inside of the post with a great shot, and just looked a lot better. Sure, it was Ipswich, but you can only punish who they put in front of you. Martin hasn’t been on fire this season, but I truly believe the blip is temporary and he might just rise up over the final stretch of the season to remind us he’s still our leader, and still the heir apparent to KDB.

Final shout for the main guys goes to Kiwior and Saliba. They have quite the pairing. Ipswich didn’t hit the target today. They had an xG of less than 0.2. Jakub has slipped into the back five and he’s barely put a foot wrong. I read somewhere today that he’s unbeaten in 21 games as a centre back. That’s kind of a mad stat and it shows how our visuals are heavily impacted by BIG moments that stain the memory. We can’t forget Bayern, so we say things like, “he’s just a Polish Rob Holding” then we look really fu*cking stupid. So stupid, I put the asterisk in the wrong playce on the curse word, then spelled “place” wrong.

Zinchenko was great, Myles dropped a lovely cameo, Ethan scored, Declan had another assist… I mean, what a great day.

Now we have to manage Palace and work through the temptations to do something mad on our weekend off.

Take a listen to the On The Whistle. Also, big thanks to all the freaks that sub up as members here and get the daily email. I got a little notification last week that I was 18th in the world for ‘rising in sport’ so wanted to thank you for just being great humans for reading my Arsenal prose.

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