DADDY POCH DECKED BY ARSENAL SON

ARSENAL VS CHELSEA REVIEW

Arsenal – what exactly WAS that?

A footballing tour de force, that's what. An otherworldly display of energy. All the hallmarks of a legendary performance, one that cements the status of this squad as mentality monsters.

There's no downplaying the sheer brilliance of what unfolded. The team that should have beaten Manchester City at the weekend utterly crushed Chelsea under the relentless pressure of Arsenal's attack. It was so one-sided, I almost called a charity for advice on how to stop a bully!

From the first whistle, it was a pummeling. Mikel Arteta spoke pre-game about looking up to his footballing daddy... but then proceeded to commit patricide in front of 60,000 people.

27 shots. 10 on target. 3.6 xG. 5 goals.

This isn't how a young team is supposed to behave during a title race, especially after a tough match against Wolves just three days prior. These games are meant to be tense, decided by scrappy, late goals... but Arsenal tore up the AI-developed script, elevating their game to a next level we didn’t think existed.

I was reminded of a story about a Ukrainian soldier in battle. His comrades were slowing down as they ran for cover, and he turned to them and said, "What are you saving your energy for?"

Maybe it's not right to compare football to something as serious as war, but Arsenal seemed to prove Arteta's philosophy on fatigue – it's all in the mind. And who are we to disagree? Also, hardly controversial to commend the bravery of Ukraine’s people/soldiers given the moment.

Two major changes to the starting lineup: Thomas Partey returned to the midfield, and Tomiyasu slotted in at right-back.

There were simply too many outstanding performances to cover everyone in detail.

Ben White was the man of the match. A beast in defence, brilliant going forward, and clinical with two crucial goals. We sometimes forget this rock-solid right-back started as a center back for Arsenal. He evolves each season, always learning, always improving, never compromising on quality. What a showing! And that no-look goal was the perfect way to stick it to Mudryk, who tried to claim White's mistimed cross at Stamford Bridge as intentional. I loved how Cuccurella threw a fit when White scored his first, stamping his feet like a hair-gifted toddler.

Caicedo who? That’s all I have on the Caicedo vs Declan debate.

Trossard opened the scoring yet again. What a night for Brighton alumni in general, but only Luther Van Tross truly shone. He slotted home after just five minutes, placing it perfectly under Petrovic. That goal set the tone for the entire night. His best trait is the end product, and he's now at 15 goals this season. An incredible return for £25m, especially when you compare it to Mudryk, a player three times the price with only six goals for Chelsea in his whole career.

Martin Ødegaard was absolutely outrageous — the kind of performance you could get arrested for. He was dropping passes in the final third that made me blush. The man created eight chances and bagged two assists. This guy is the world's best creative player right now. How on earth did we land him for so little?

Kai Havertz is an enigma. One minute he's Berbatov, the next Van Persie, then morphs into Bergkamp or Kanu. Yesterday we saw a true #9. He missed some chances early on, made some questionable decisions in the box, then dumped on Chelsea with two absolute bangers and served up the perfect "I SHALL CELEBRATE THE GOOD TIMES" celebration. The fans love him; he knows his place in our system. Now he's looking like a £65m bargain, and it's clear why Carlo Ancelotti wanted him at Madrid.

The midfield pairing we all wanted to see this season: Declan Rice and Thomas Partey. Both possess similar strengths, but Declan excels at carrying the ball, while Partey moves it through midfield with electrifying speed. After Arteta only gave Partey 11 minutes in the last game, I thought he was finished. Boy, was I wrong! He had a monstrous 90 minutes to prove it. And how well did he complement the phenomenal Declan Rice? The £105m man absolutely shattered any notion that he's anything less than exceptional. He covered an insane amount of ground to ensure Chelsea had nothing against us. Imagine dismantling your boyhood club like that? My favorite moment was seeing him pirouette on the edge of the box, receive the ball… and then blast it just over. There's a whole other level to his game we haven't witnessed yet. Consider yourselves warned.

What else did I love?

Players sliding into tackles, getting up, and roaring at the crowd – pure PASHUN. The bond between us and the team is electric. They need us now more than ever. This is like a beautiful COVID-era advert, with all our players fighting for every ball, every duel, every blade of grass, screaming at the fans like it was Miami in a no-mask kind of era.

This whole season has been magical. We head into the final four games still in the fight. Next up is the trip down the road to the Toilet Bowl. A win there, and we set up a Premier League title showdown that could go down to the final game of the season.

Isn't that what it's all about? It absolutely is. Wow. Arsenal has brought so much joy over the past four years. If you're a young fan, cherish these moments because you never know when the next banter era could come and take your joy.

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