MONDAY MORNING BABY… and it’s just me and you. Sitting on a train. Or a park bench. Or maybe while you drive… don’t do that. Put the phone away. This content is NOT worth it (it is).

Let’s chat about the unravelling of the Ivan Toney story, Andrew over at Arseblog recently said he didn’t think Ivan Toney would join, now we have some of the better ITK accounts on Twitter saying similar things.

Football changes fast, one minute it’s Housem Auoar, the next it’s Martin Odegaard. You can be dreaming about Mudryk in the morning, then facing up to a Leandro Trossard future by the afternoon.

Things change, new opportunities arise, playing the transfer ITK game is a rough game because there are so many variables.

But, that doesn’t stop me speculating, because there’s nothing that gets me hotter under the collar than dreaming about the next big striker signing.

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“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?”

Pete, local bar, St. Louis, 1am

Arsenal unleashed pure brutality on a very young Burnley side that has accidentally found themselves in the Premier League in the same way a squirrel finds itself in a bear enclosure at a zoo.

The outcome was too gruesome to bear witness to. Mikel Arteta took his boys to Dubai, made them watch SHIT GONE WILD TikTok videos, and the result has been ‘nature isn’t kind’ output in all five games. Craig Bellamy, a player I had no love for back in the day, was hopelessly perched on the touchline watching the monstrosity unfold like a guinea pig owner who’d accidentally dropped a rattlesnake into the hutch.

I was worried Arsenal might make a mess of this game – my word was I wrong.

Martin Odegaard, fresh off a December of ‘he can’t do it in big games’ or ‘he takes too many touches’ seems to have done it in every game since. He sets the tempo, the aggression, and the mood. Arsenal were decisive in every phase of the pitch. The scoring opened when Martinelli found him just outside the 18-yard line; the Norwegian teed himself up and smashed an outside-of-the-boot fizzer past James Trafford. It was a technical delight. Almost arrogant. But a reminder that this 25-year-old hasn’t had the gift of a proper #9, and his form in front of goal has been a little off.

8 goals, 7 assists… feels better, right?

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Arsenal vs Burnley.

Arteta vs a player he helped coach.

A battle of JdP principles… one that is unfairly weighted against the team in claret.

An absolute must-win game Arsenal cannot afford to slip up in.

Little teams always have a moment in a season that gives the fans something to remember. Kompany taking a scalp against Arsenal would be exactly that. He’s unlikely to keep Burnley up, but he could at least give them some nice memories and the hope that he can bounce back with a very young team the next year.

They can play with the ball on the floor, they have the pace to get in behind, and their players are more than capable of a freak upset.

… but not if Arsenal show up and treat the North with the respect it deserves. The players cannot wade into that game thinking it’ll be a cakewalk. If they do, it could be bad.

My hope is this goal-scoring streak continues because we need some confidence heading into a Porto away day followed by a tough game with Newcastle at home next Saturday. A blip today casts doubt over both of those fixtures.

I don’t think we’ll see many of our injured stars return, but I am guessing the bench might be a little deeper than it was last week. Players like Jorginho, ESR, and Fabio should all be in and around the squad over the next two games. The big dogs should be given the day off considering their importance in March… and really, for the Porto game next week if there’s a chance. Arteta said Partey has just rejoined training, so this might be too soon for him, which is super painful to hear, but hey, if we can get him for the last 10 games, that’ll still be massive.

I am down for no risks. They are not worth it in games like this. The team that destroyed West Ham has plenty of ammo for Burnley. They just need the same focus and viciousness that had us on cloud number 9.

If you want a piece of the LIVE podcast action after the game, sign up HERE.

See you in the comments. x

Well good morning my darlings. It’s Friday and I might be tempted to call it FriYAY in my first meeting of the day. That’s how vibrant I’m feeling.

Some news on website development… I am getting the comment section fixed. Very sorry it’s been so slow. Fear not, it’ll be sorted along with some design changes to make the site a touch more modern. I want to make it operate more like a substack so you can get access to everything in one place… and I can unleash the archive so you can see all the terrible takes I’ve had over the years. Thank you to all the people who mailed in to say nice things… to those who didn’t, I still love you, but the relationship might be broken. Conscious uncoupling could be the answer.

What could we possibly want to talk about today?

Err…. KYLIAN MBAPPE. Arteta was posed a question about him – and he did NOT deny that Arsenal should be in the conversastion.

This is balls out.

I like it.

BIG MAN talk.

BIG CLUB kind of rumors.

I don’t think we’d have the audacity to go anywhere near his salary range and I’m not sure our squad could handle the disruption he’d bring. But why not accept the rumor and the prestige that comes with it? It makes other players pay attention.

Personally, I love Kylian. But I’m not sure we’re a Madrid sort of club that can buy players at the very peak of their game like that. We do better mending the broken or picking off players that are on the rise. Kylian is in space attempting to land on Jupiter. Arsenal would have to deal with a player who complained his face was used to shift season tickets – someone whose body language can be painful to watch – a player who has been spoilt to damaging levels by a club that offered him a proxy billion to stay in the family.

If he does leave PSG, only Madrid could handle him. I think a Premier League club signing him on his current demands would be looking at a 10-point deduction by the end of the season. No one could handle £100m a year. It’s insanity.

Still, nice to be in the mixer, even if it’s nonsense.

The injury news from Mikel was mixed. My topline take is this: We’re probably not going to risk anyone against Burnley, but there’s solid progress elsewhere.

We are scoring loads of goals, so risking Jesus isn’t necessary.

Our midfield is banging, so why risk the extremely fragile Partey?

Zinchenko and Tomi probably don’t need to be called upon. Get some juice in their tanks.

The only player I expect to make an appearance in the next two weeks that no one is talking about is Fabio Vieira. Could he make a jump? Everyone has written him off, but he’s under the wing of Arteta, so who knows what is possible.

Burnley is a weird game. They play great football, but suffer because they have young boys who make mistakes. However, every minnow has a moment. If we take them lightly, it could be a tough afternoon. Nick an early goal, they might make life difficult.

Put it this way: It’s another walloping… or its an unlikely loss.

No in-between for me.

Right, short post from me today… it’s snowing and work is BUSY. See you on the other side.

xxx

P.S. Sign up to Patreon for the LIVE content tomorrow.

Before The Whistle – Arteta flirts with Kylian (Patreon)

With Pedro & @iJohnnyCochrane. Enjoy!https://t.co/gk2prJfmii

— LE GROVE (@LeGrove) February 16, 2024

I don’t like to be dragged into the petty arguments that go off on the internet (lol, sure), but Rio Ferdinand taking time out to call Phil Foden world class at the expense of Bukayo Saka merited a conversation. Rio was world-class, no doubt. He won big titles, played on the big stage, did big things. But I’m struggling to see how he’s landed himself in a situation where he can tell the world Bukayo isn’t at Foden’s level because he hasn’t scored a goal against *checks notes* FC Copenhagen.

Bukayo has 13 goals and 13 assists in 2500 minutes of football. He has a street value of £120m. The player is delivering huge numbers and people don’t even think he’s out of 3rd gear this season.

Getting into these weirdly subjective arguments really doesn’t feel like the sort of analysis the best pundits in the game should be engaging in. I can have that conversation down the pub. Doesn’t Rio have something more interesting to add to the chat?

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The Champions League starts this evening, and I’m quite excited. Madrid plays Leipzig and City plays… Copenhagen. The season seems to be rolling quite nicely for dear Pep and his boys. No injuries, easy fixtures, and outrageous form, all combining at the exact right time again.

Arsenal has a pretty decent run going as well. Burnley away at the weekend should be a fairly straightforward occasion; then we take on Porto on Wednesday away from home.

The squad really should be starting to take shape by then. Jesus, Partey, Tomi, ESR and Fabio should all be in the mixer. Arsenal are finally getting into the sort of shape where we can use unpredictability as a weapon. I’d start to get excited about the possibilities of Thomas Partey, but the fact he can’t get into shape despite threatening the starting 11 for over a month tells you his return is likely to be exciting but swift.

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Have a bit of that, Hammers.

Thought you were going to earn the right to be our bogey team? Not under Mikel Arteta. The message was delivered with a brutal destruction of a performance, capped, with Mikel whispering.

‘I want the West Ham fans to know, it was me’

The pregame chatter was focused on the weak bench and SEVEN players missing from the squad.

No one was talking about that by halftime.

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