I’m watching the England game while writing this post. I’ve just seen James Maddison get scissored over with a horrible challenge. I find international football so painful to watch. It’s such a massive risk so early on in the season – Gabriel M went off on 85 last night after an impact injury. Not great.

Gareth Southgate has fully embraced his comfort-blanket stage. He has Jordan Pickford in goal, a man who concedes like a sieve and has never played at a high level. He has Harry McGuire starting, a 31-year-old that was de-captained and hasn’t had a good game in 6 years. Jordan Henderson is still getting game time despite moving to another continent on a retirement contract.

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Well here we are; Le Grove is 16 years old today.

What a crazy ride.

We started this site to quench an addiction to football content that wasn’t being met – now we’re 5549 posts in, with 3 millions comments, and multi-millions of reads.

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As we enter Tuesday morning, the joy has barely settled on a MONSTER win; everything is good in the world.

Well, unless you are reading Manchester United Twitter. MS Paint has been dusted off and has new relevance as United fans seek to prove that, in actual fact, a pretty clear offside was onside. Erik ten Hag went into victim mode after the game and complained about literally everything. United fans don’t need an excuse to follow suit and so they did.

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Call the emergency services, my EKG is still off the scale, and the game has been finished 12 hours. Arsenal took a cagey game against United into a marathon of overtime and put EtH to the sword with two MASSIVE goals.

It’s hard to know where to start – but we should address the bullshit narratives that have been peddled all week. Just flick through your twitter feed or your group chats and remember all those characters that have spent the last 5 days complaining about the world caving in because we drew against Fulham. How are Arsenal fans so damaged? What did those cold nights during the banter years do to them? How can putting Thomas Partey at right back trigger a reaction so bad I had to keep double checking we didn’t lose that game?

Who knows… but those people were ready with the knives out when Garnacho broke through on goal in the 87th minute.

Kai ain’t right…

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I’m in Kansas City today without my laptop, so I’m penning this on my phone. Excuse the typos. I mean, excuse the increase in typos.

So, bad news: Thomas Partey has done his groin in. He’s out indefinitely. Likely the standard 8 to 12 weeks it always is with him. Without knowing the circumstances – it does feel like we’ve been sloppy here. Partey is injury-prone, he’s playing in a new position that asks more of him, now he’s broken. Not great to lose someone of that importance in training.

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THE CHAAAAAAMPIONS! DU DU DU DUH DUHHHHHHH!

It’s here my children.

Cancel your Wednesday night group therapy sessions with the boys – SPURS FANS CAN HURT YOU NO MORE.

The midweek is for The Arsenal, fighting the best clubs in Europe… it’s for the ELITISTS!

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We’re entering the final 24 hours of the transfer window it’s all a bit flat when it comes to exit fees.

Good news:

Balogun is out the door for $42m. There’s a 17.5% sell on clause according to Charles Watts, that’s decent, and it is basically the premium we’re missing from a Chelsea bid for the player. I have no doubt Folarin will crush it in Monaco, it is yet to be seen whether he has what it takes to make it back to the Premier League. The shame is if he was exiting Monaco to Chelsea, the fee would be £60m.

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