BIG DEAL announcement today | The German takeover…

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(To be read in the thick set NYC accent)

Happy Monday morning f*ckers.

Sorry, I watched Wolf of Wall Street last night, so today, my working session is about maximising cash, taking c*caine and buying hookers for the office. So do mind the language and please accept my apologies for any middle fingers I show if I hear bleatings of 3% ticket increases.

Arsenal are making big f*cking cash from these broads over at Puma. Those motherf*ckers have been stupid enough to dish us out a massive wedge of cash over what is rumoured to be 5 years. Now, I’m assuming that this is what the 1730 press conference today is about, because I was invited. Clearly, it’s not going to be the one where Wenger puts pen to f*cking paper on his very own big money new deal.

This Puma deal is massive because it puts big dollars in our bank account and it gives us a enough cash to make PROFIT each year. If you follow the money scene as closely as we do, you’ll know that currently, if all goes well, we barely break even year on year. In Wall Street, there would be profit warnings and spooked markets left right and centre… because Arsenal wouldn’t be doing well. This deal kick starts the cash influx, which should be closely followed by the deal with Emirates.

Basically, we’re filthy rich. Well, not as filthy rich as United are, but not many in Europe are (from an income perspective at least), however, this money should kick start the sort of signings that made United the monster they are today. Deals like Draxler and Ozil can now happen every summer without the need of a sugar daddy. That works from a financial fair play perspective and it works from a fan perspective. Because for some reason, we’d much rather the success of our club came from our pockets, than the pockets of someone who has sold oil to propagate wealth.

Just kidding. I’m an Arsenal fan, the sustainable model is more arousing to me than 10 minutes in a dark room with an incognito web browser on.

The interesting thing about the Puma deal is that they are obviously German, we are obviously making a huge switch in the type of players we bring in… because, well, they’re all German. We have a double core these days. The German core that compliments the English core. I love it. Germany is one of my favourite places, I have a loose understanding of the language and now I have an excuse to bark ‘Arsenal‘ at German people when I’m over there. They love it in the same way French and Spanish people used to. Come on, don’t pretend you didn’t do it…

‘HEY SEÑOR… CESC FABREGAS! ARSENAL! CESC FABREGAS!’

Football, the language of Europe.

Patrick Vieira has been in the press saying nice things about Arsenal for once. Today, he picked out Ramsey as the form player in the league.

“At the start of the season he was fantastic because of the number of goals he scored from midfield, but also the number of goals he created,”

Nice to hear that coming from a great, especially as the explosive midfielder is close to return. It’s been fairly plain sailing without him over the last few weeks, but having him back means we can rest others. It also means he’s had an enforced winter break, which will hopefully be a massive benefit.

We’re shaping up outrageously well at the moment when it comes to midfield. Well, from a future perspective. We have Chamberlain who has bags of potential, as well as the talents of Zelalem and the exciting Crowley. The only area that needs some TLC in the summer is that box to box player that we’re going to have issues with as Flamini slows down and Arteta moves into his 32nd year. I’d love us to sign a Vidal or Pogba. I’d also be excited to sign Cabaye… though if we could get someone younger like Ginter or Bender. Well, we’d be a pretty powerful outfit.

Right, that’s me done for today, have a fabulous f*cking day and make sure it’s cash heavy and fuelled.

Laters!

P.S. Margot Robbie…? Move over Meagan and Mila.

 

 

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Future superstar signing on shortly | The next big thing to land EOM?

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Celebrating with Big T

Celebrating with Big T

Well, well, well… the papers will not let the Draxler rumours die! They’re all back with the story this morning that Arsenal are going to seal a £36m deal for the talented attacking midfielder.

Arsene said he didn’t want a wide attacker the other day,but we all know the rumour is that Draxler is for the middle going forward. Also, I think it’s a bit wide of the mark to suggest we don’t need a wide attacker, because after losing the pace of Theo, I feel we certainly do.

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Draxler rumours back again… | Arsenal spank Coventry

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Well good morning to you all! Arsenal trotted out a pretty simple win over a Coventry side that were always going to struggle against seasoned internationals on a different level of fitness and technical ability.

I actually missed the match last night, so don’t have much of an overview for you. The goals were all pretty standard, nothing dazzling. 2 for Podolski will do his confidence the world of good, one for Giroud to push up his tally for the season and a goal for Santi as well.

A nice evening, even a bit of a protest from the Coventry fans, all holding up their sheets of paper saying ‘why?’… obviously a reference to a dodgy sub or something?

Anyway, progression into the next round… hopefully it’ll be another sweet draw so we can field a similar team to last night.

In other news around the club, there’s plenty of spicy talk around Draxler coming over in January. This would fly in the face of Wenger’s assertions that he won’t be buying.

‘We have no need to take players on the flank. We don’t rule a striker out. But at the moment I cannot announce anything.’

.. but if Schalke are desperate for cash and that will allow Arsenal to guarantee the signing of him, it would make sense to sign him now, rather than wait for the whole world to go crazy for him after a great showing in the summer.

I’d still be surprised, but the rumours don’t want to die do they? Also, the rumour is aided by Fjortoft, the guy who called Ozil. Apparently. I don’t know how many other rumours he’s called that have disappeared… but whatever.

This really has been a flat window so far. However, simple facts are United and Chelsea have bolstered… City haven’t, because they don’t need to… but Arsenal really could do with a spare body. Nik B and Giroud for the run in… well, it makes me nervous. No Theo as well… we really could do with some pace.

Anyway, that’s all I have time for today… have a good one.

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Wenger press conference shocker | FA Cup Coventry Friday nighter!

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Arsene Wenger really should avoid airing his warped opinions on transfers after dropping a sound bite gaffe in yesterday’s pre-Coventry meet with Fleet Street. Arsene, when questioned about the Juan Mata move up north said…

“Maybe the rules should be adapted for more fairness,”

“It opens up questions about the dates of this transfer window.”

“Some teams have already played twice against one opponent and some others not,”

“I can understand completely what Chelsea are doing. They could have sold him last week.”

‘I am surprised because Juan Mata is a great player and Chelsea sell a great player to a direct opponent,’

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Mata to United > Rooney to Chelsea? | No signings… why does nobody care?

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Bloody hell, this transfer window is like pulling teeth. Pulling teeth whilst voluntarily sedated.

No one really cares about buying players because we’re winning. Which is fine, but I think the reality bug might bite in at some point and we’ll be cursing the lack of movement because I really don’t think we have the depth to fight all the way this year.

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Get Nik a chocolate orange | Striker deal back on?

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NYC Head Office

Wow, another quiet morning of nothing. I’d start on the FA Cup, but it’s only Wednesday, that’s like putting the kettle on before you go to bed (for a morning tea. Jeez, what a bad line to start the post!).

So the transfer window does seen to be very quiet. The Vucinic deal fell apart which opens the door to us moving for him, if we were ever interested. He’s a good player, sure, but I can see why we’d pass on him. Expecting a 30 year old who has plied his trade in Italy for most of his career doesn’t feel like a fit.

I watched Serie A highlights last night. What a weak league. It really has lost its sparkle in a big way. The standard of keeping was beyond embarrassing. It was like watching a bloopers reel. Not only that, the stadiums were empty like an FA Cup replay between Norwich and Fulham. Sure, some of the big teams might fill their grounds, but my lord, playing away for those massive names must be hard work.

Anyway, I think the vibe on the striker is that Nik B can fill in. I think the feeling is that he’s newly focused on winning a contract. Life has clicked for him as a player and he’s fully up for contributing to the side. And look, Adebayor was hated as much at Spurs as he was at Arsenal 4 weeks ago, now he’s an absolute hero after being shown a bit of love by the new ‘Arry…

‘I just gave him a hug and chocolate orange… now the boy’s mustard’

… Arsene, get that man hug out the loft and send Jenkinson down to the newsagent for that chocolate orange. We have a title to chase!

The contract front seems uncertain. Sagna is after a 3 year deal and we’re offering him two. Rosicky is after a deal and we’re looking to play ball. I like both of them and I think we’re now in a position to afford to keep experience on. See, point is, if we sell them, we’ll only bring them back on short contracts in 2 years time. Keep em’ on Arsene, deck the training ground out in players who know the values you instill in them.

Did I mention the other day that the Lewandowski free transfer is worth €81m over 5 years! Mega money eh?

Aaron Ramsey selected ex Cardiff captain Graham Kavanagh as his footballing hero.

‘He was the Cardiff captain and played in my position, so that’s who I looked up to and wanted to aspire to be like.’

Humble as ever! He also picked out Scott Parker and Michael Ballack as great competitors. I was harangued on Twitter for suggesting Scott Parker as a signing a few years ago. People are now taking players that were good, but are now old and using them to make a point against the site. What a laugh.

Speaking of laughs, I’ve been asked to write one side of the FA Cup argument on Friday in an evening paper. You can guess which side. I think there is a compelling case for a full strength attempt and for not taking it seriously. Just know that before you tear up your Le Grove subscription.

Talking of things that aren’t a laugh. Stan Collymore abuse on Twitter. What the hell is going on here? I was talking to someone the other day about it, it’s like the new internet meme to racially abuse Stan on Twitter. I don’t care for the man, I think he’s a scumbag, however, this ‘well, he beats up women, so racism is ok’ is just a horrible thought process.

The point isn’t about who he is, it’s that we’re in the 21st century and certain people think there are negative connotations associated with skin colour. Twitter is a great platform, it’s help push this website from underground Arsenal blog, to mainstream opinion source single handedly. However, unlike most other platforms, it’s struggled to deal with abuse and it’s pecking order structure almost encourages extreme behaviour because it’s an attention proposition. Couple that with anonnymity and you’ve a recipe that tastes good to the nutters. I have two accounts, and it’s definitely the football account that’s the worst. But I’d imagine it’s the same issue for politics and religion. Facebook certainly did well forcing people to use their real identity to have an account. Half the idiots online wouldn’t behave the way they do if their real name was shown.

… but hey, I’m not going to suggest web passports because that opens the us up to a far worse problem. I just wish people would be more responsible with anonymity. But hey, whatever gets you attention I guess.

Right, rant over. Have a blinding day.

 

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