Mario wants Arsenal

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Not much in the world of Arsenal story telling to hit you up with on this fine summers morning.

Debuchy signed officially yesterday. Not sure why that took so damn long to announce, but it was nice to see him finally rocking an Arsenal shirt. He’s certainly upped sexy on the right side of the park. I mean, I don’t mean to perve on our players, but jeez, you don’t need to look far to find a man crush these days!

So, right back sorted.

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Arsenal close to two more squad players…

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Iconic Gesture

… and a very good morning to you.

This has to be quick, so quick, I feel like I’ve wasted too much time writing this part.

So, the news I have is that the players we’re closest to are Maquillo, the right back and Ospina, the Colombian goalkeeper. The signing of the right back is as back up, not instead of Debuchy, who was a done deal as far as I was aware last week.

I don’t know anything about Khedira other than what’s going off in the press. I think we might be in trouble if he wants £180k a week. It’s a monster salary and considering he’s not quite a mega star like Ramsey, Sanchez and Ozil… well, you’d have to wonder whether the club could sanction those sort of wages because you’d have at least 4 other players asking for another £2m a year.

That’d be bad for the balance sheet. Not that I care, but I do care. It’s ingrained in me. Beaten down by the sustainable business model for so many years. At least when I start my own business, I’ll be sharp as f*ck on the finances…

‘NO BISCUITS TIMOTHY’

In other news, Arsenal have altered their customer charter to change all their kit every year. Now look, I really do get it, parents have to buy kits and it’s a ball ache changing them all the time… but this is the modern world and this is a game that will NEVER care for the consumer unless they’re shelling out masses of cash.

You can’t fight consumerism in football. If you want mega players and good times, you’ll have to accept the realities of new kits and getting stung as parents. There’s literally nothing you can do, bar fatten your kids up so they look disgusting in the kits…

Fattening your kids up should never be the solution…

One thing that slightly grates me is that, sure, a football kit costs some cash. But so do computer games. You never hear parents saying, ‘fuck me, Xbox are releasing more games next year. Who is thinking about the parents?’… what do games cost? £60?

Ozil has been spending him money on better things that football kits. He’s supported operations on 23 Brazilian kids. Very sweet. Quite grotesque though, when you consider how much Brazil spent on World Cup stadia and infrastructure… shouldn’t a country as prosperous (well, it was getting prosperous) as Brazil be able to look after it’s sick kids? Wrong, wrong, wrong…

We bitch about the NHS over here… but it’s a beacon of goodness compared to some places.

On that fine note, I’ll tap out… have a great day. x

P.S. Geoff liked the below. Puma working it…


Mertesacker busting smooth moves | Lukas Podolski confirms signing

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Theo buying my mother a football shirt... ?!

Theo buying my mother a football shirt… ?!

“Arsenal haven’t had any real stand out players in the last few years, like Thierry Henry. They have just lagged a step behind.”

Michael Owen my dear boy, what are you doing to yourself?

That comment above is another pearler in one of the former England strikers portfolio of shockers. It’s quite staggering to say we haven’t have stand out players over the last few years. I mean, admittedly, we’ve not exactly been pulling up trees, but in the main, bar poor management, that’s because our main players have been sold to our main rivals.

Adebayor, Nasri, Clichy, Cesc, Robin Van Persie… I mean seriously, the list goes on.

To say we don’t have any stand out players right now is pretty crazy as well. We’ve got Aaron Ramsey, one of the best midfielders on the planet at the moment, we have the best number ten in the world according to Mourinho, we’ve just nailed Alexis Sanchez, Per Mertesacker and Koscielny are two of the Premierships better centre backs and we’ll have picked up Debuchy and Khedira.

Not quite sure what he’s going on about. I think he’s angry because Liverpool are the most likely side to drop out of the top four this year. I don’t think he quite gets how hard it is to transition from 40 odd games to 55-60, whilst losing your best player to Barcelona.

Also, let’s not get too head of ourselves with United. They haven’t signed Vidal yet. Herrera and Luke Shaw aren’t turning around that absolute shit show of a squad… even if LVG turns on the magic. Which, a lot of people I speak to in the game, are not sure about based on his horrendous approach to man management and football in general.

In other news Sammy Khedira was asked where he was playing football next season, Lukas shouted over the top of him ‘ARSENAL’, that’s either superb trolling from our wide man, or it’s a bit of nailed on ITK information. It really does sound like we’re going hard for the German, the only concern I have is over his fitness record. Still, get him on track and we’re title contenders… simple as that really.

It will have been a bit of a mad summer. So mad, that I’ll no longer have a USP… I’ve got nothing to complain about.

… don’t worry though kids, I’ll find something, no doubt the catering is still total shite.

What’s with the hot dogs Ivan? Tell me? I’ll march… I’ll march with the hoardes and I’ll throw out my…

‘BAD HOT DOGS FUCK OFF’

… banner. Then you’ll know the wrath of social media.

In other news, Ashley Cole has done one to Italy. It’s a good move, apparently he’ll get £35k a week made up to £70k on appearance fees. I’m not sure why more English players don’t make the move. I’d be all over heading to a different country. I’d have to find out if Italian women find English men as exotic as New Yorkers do… but if that was the case, I’d be all over it. Hot weather, great food, less intrusive press, mad nights out with Pirlo… what a life.

I’ve seen some stories on the web about Jack heading to Liverpool. I’ve not heard anything about this, would seem crazy to sell a young talent to them because we don’t need to be shifting on home grown talent and he could become a very good player if he cans all the badness in.

Not hearing too much on Loic Remy. He just took a ban for drink driving. Combine that with the mucky allegations last year, well, he doesn’t feel like an Arsene signing. Really think we’re done in the striking department from a gut feel perspective.

When you have a summer, like the one we’re having, you don’t mind paying a premium ticket price because you’re hopefully paying for a premium product.

Just to finish… Per Mertesacker, being a total boy. This should be the ONLY way to enter a night club with the lads.


Khedira move super hot…

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Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday… nothing hammers home how entrenched Arsenal are in your life than the morning ritual of hitting up all the football sites for tidbits of transfer gossipery…

Manquillo and Debuchy are apparently close. Debuchy was at the training ground last week getting pictured up in the new strip. No idea what’s dragging there? Manquillo is a promising signing, according to the guys over at Sqwaka, he could be a future Spanish international right back. What I love about this signing, if we make it, is the brutality of it. Wenger has spied a problem in Jenkinson early and he’s making a move to change it now… rather than doing it after 970 games and a £129k a week deal.

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COLOMBIAN PLAYERS TO ARSENAL

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Screen Shot 2014-05-18 at 12.37.31

Lots of things I dislike about modern media. That’s social media. I work in it, I should embrace it… I do. However, the lack of privacy it affords people in the public eye is horrible.

Jack Wilshere has been snapped in Vegas drinking champagne like a rap star, smoking fags like a rockstar, generally acting like a bit of a lad.

Now, don’t get me wrong… It’s not the sort of image you should be portraying as an elite athlete. It’s not the sort of thing you should be doing at a tacky Vegas pool party where anyone with a credit card can go. Smoking, when you’ve spent a whole season demonstrating a lack of fitness… well, it’s just fucking dim.

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World Cup Final

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Mega apologies on the late post. Stupid day, stupid night. Feeling mega fragile.

Anyway, some papers reporting a Khedira / bender double signing. That would make my summer. That’d make my year. That’d be the most important moment in my life over the last 20 years.

That’d make us contenders…

Alexis Sanchez ex girlfriend is claiming she’s pregnant with or mans baby. Do one. You leave our man alone!

My phone is about to die… see you later. Enjoy the final! Xx


Sammy on the way?

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Breezy post this morning as I’m on a stag do in Bristol. What people don’t know about me is one of my best accents is bristolian. I’m going to be unbearably irritating all day.

So, the dust has settled on the Sanchez story, he’s in the bag and now the focus is on a new midfielder.

I’m pretty sure Sammy Khedira wants to join us. All the press are insisting he’s rejected Madrid to join up with his German pals in North London. That’s amazing news if true, he’s a top talent and he’ll further lift the profile of the club and he’ll certainly impact.

Imagine that for a summer. Khedira and Sanchez. Totally magic. The buzz at the Emirates cup will be outrageous!

I’ve seen a lot of talk about Vidal going to United. Can’t think why he’d go there. I’d love him at Arsenal. Can’t help but think he’s a bit similar to Ramsey? He’s a monster though. I think I’d slip into an excitement induced coma if we landed him!

Outside that, I don’t really have much. So I’ll finish on a non rambling high!