Arsenal fans triggered by Liverpool signing, here’s why that’s misguided

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Arsenal fans are triggered fam.

We’re chasing some tinpot Dortmund centre-back while Liverpool out there dropping £50m on Fabinho. I can’t lie, that does stick in the throat a little. The Monaco player is a classy talent at the base of midfield, one that we’ve been crying out for for a while.

I think this rumour was given more power by a Sky pundit who said we inquired, just a bit late to make the deal happen. We all know Sky has had a crisis of credibility this summer, no doubt because there’s big business is muddy waters when you run a betting company.

Are we passing on Fabinho because we have more expensive fish to fry? Who knows. But a 25-year-old DM with world class in his tank feels like exactly what we need. I’m kind of getting the feeling we’re not going to play in those markets this summer. They’re chasing Allison as their new number 1, we’re hunting down Bernd Leno. I know which I’d prefer.

But then again, maybe we’re stuck in a rut when it comes to self-awareness.

Arsenal are not a Champions League side, and we’re heading into season two with that shame around our neck. There’s no guarantee the new man is going to restore us to glory because regardless of what the fans think, players won’t see Emery in the same league as the managers of the other top 6 sides… yet.

We have to earn our stripes back, so does he. We have to prove that this season is more than a giant recovery plan. Until then, we’re going to have to sift around in the bargain basement, and hope we strike Salah like gold.

But look, that doesn’t mean we can’t find gems. It’s not like Spurs are raiding Monaco for their best players, is it? They’ve done pretty well scouting players over the past few seasons. We just have to hope the board have the guts to take risks and strike when players are on the rise, not after every team in the world wants them (Liverpool > Naby Keita).

Maybe Arsenal fans would feel a little more assured about the path the club were heading down if we dropped an exciting name. But then again, the football club isn’t run for our feelings is it? It’s run within the parameters set out by a frugal Stan Kroenke, and the budget is spent by two guys who know what they’re doing.

I hate to be the one dishing this out, but it’s really early in the window for tears, it looks like we’ve already made 2 signings, and I’d imagine there’s a lot more to come.

> We are not a 2-3 signings kind of club anymore, move away from that Wenger PTSD.

Maybe we have to wait it out before getting triggered that the Champions League finalists are dropping big money on elite players who probably want in on a project that has a high chance of, you know, getting them to the Champions League final.

My god, I want to be sick in my mouth. I’m standing up for the regime. I’m not longer counterculture. I’m part of the NEW problem that is yet to happen.

This is the path I chose… but seriously, let’s not vent too many spleens. The club did some great work in the January transfer window, and I reckon we’ll do some exciting stuff in the coming two months.

We have to exit the dross.

We have to bring in some experience that’ll root out the weakness in our old culture that was built around nice boys and year-round pleasantries.

We’ll have to start lowering the age of the squad. Mikki, Auba, Lichensteiner and Sokratis will boast an average age of 30.5 come the start of next season. It’s quite apparent the strategy is to buy in players who can give us some ‘NOW’ impetus, which is no bad thing considering the importance of the CL money.

However, Ivan said he wanted a manager who could bring through young talent, I am kind of hoping that we can do a Dortmund MKII. Young exciting players, technically gifted, loaded with power and pace, delivering a brand of football you want to pur over.

So the moral of this post is if our work so far looks a bit boring, that’s because it is. That’s because it has to be. We have to rework the fabric of a damaged culture, as well as upgrade the starting 11.

But don’t panic just yet, there’s plenty more to come from this summer, and I can only hope we’re keeping that powder dry for a great keeper, and someone a bit OH MY to replace Sanchez.

POWDER DRY, listen to me. What a boring joke this site is.

Right, see you in the comments, where I expect you to celebrate the balanced tone of this post.


Sven Mislintat raids Dortmund with Sébastien Squillaci like move

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Reports coming out of Germany today that the club is looking to bolster experience in defence again with the signing of 29-year-old Dortmund centre-back, Sokratis. I can’t say this signing makes me weak at knees, and I’m not really sure he’s adding levels to our game. I keep looking at the signings we’re making through the prism of culture building, versus seeing them purely as elite level talent hires.


First signing ready to drop + Emery talks brass tacks, and it’s sexy

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Oh damn, there’s me just minding my own business on the net of inter, I click newsnow, jump in on a story about Emery using Lacazette and Auba together

“If the ball is in play, you press. If play stops, you reposition yourself.”

“For me, the 4-1-4-1 is the system which facilitates that type of pressing. The 4-4-2 is designed more and more for zonal positioning. It’s less aggressive, but is more difficult to get past. That’s the case with Marcelino’s teams, Quique Sanchez Flores’ teams, Saint-Étienne when we last played them…


5 things Unai Emery must urgently address

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I’m sitting at my laptop, and I won’t moan.

But come on?

Just one!



Arsenal dropping the ‘Dog ate my designs’ 2018 away kit line.

What are the lads at Puma thinking?

This looks like the sort of sportswear my mum would buy for the start of year 8.

‘Well, I thought it looked natty’

Geez Mum, I’m already getting wedgied for the extra-special braces and velcro shoes, how could you do this to me?

FFS. I’m trying my hardest to button up the moaning, but it feels like every other day Puma drop a new monstrosity for the fuck-you-very-much victory lap.

Anyway, let’s crack into Unai Emery. I’m gonna go all Buzzfeed up in this bitch.

5 things that Unai Emery needs to address:

Aaron Ramsey:

The only superstar in Wales these days is down to the final year of his deal. There’s no doubt he’s looking at the fat mega pay cheque part-timer Mesut Ozil just dropped thinking, damn, I want to get me some of that sweet sugar.

Knowing that Arsenal can only raise their wage bill £7m a season, I find it highly unlikely we’re going to drop £300k a week on a player who spends a lot of time injured. The leak from The Sun claimed Unai wanted to build the squad around Aaron’s engine, so it’s going to be interesting to see what they do there.

My gut feel says he’ll be moved on so we can crank up that weak transfer pot and free up some cash money. We could easily get £50m for him, that’d be good dough.


Arsene Wenger didn’t believe in captains, which I always felt was an apt position to take from a man who showed a real lack of leadership in his last 5 years. We’ve cycled through Gallas, Arteta, Mertesacker, Cech and Koscielny. With the Frenchman out for the foreseeable, and our #1 likely on the chopping board, it’ll be very interesting to see who takes on the armband.

My preference is someone who actually plays, that’d be a good start. It looks like the options are basically Aaron, Ramsey, or Aaron Ramsey. I don’t see a lot of leadership outside those three.


Lord of the Spare Key, Granit Xhaka, had a pretty awful season last year. I think he had more assists than Ramsey, but, you know, for the opposition.


You sure are Pedro, you sure are.

The Swiss midfielder needs a career reboot, Emery is apparently a major fan according to legendary ITK Kike Marin, so it’ll be interesting to see how he develops him. The biggest challenge he has is physical, he has no acceleration, and he’s a bit of a ding-dong when it comes to positioning. A lot of that comes from having played in Lucian Favre system where you’d get screamed at for being 5 yards out of position in training, to playing under Wenger who had no tactical system outside ‘express yourself.’

Also, Xhaka is a very fit player, he always plays… captain material?

Meeeeesut Ozil:

The German international takes more short breaks than my retired Dad. I’m not sure the new man is going to take that sort of nonsense. It’s very doubtful he’ll afford him the same freedom to do what he wants on and off the pitch. The #10 is dead unless you want to be a workhorse, which isn’t Ozil’s bag. Will he opt for a wide right position? Will he play deeper? Or will the club try and shift him on for a fee?

The German won’t be tolerated in the new setup if he doesn’t pull his weight, and the new head coach will pull him off if his fitness or effort levels are flagging. Ozil is just one of many now, no special treatment for a player on so much damn cash.


Cech has been given the #1 jersey, but as John McEnroe would say, ‘HE CAN’T PLAY WITH HIS FEET AND HIS REFLEXES HAVE GONE’, so let’s see how long that lasts.

We need a keeper who can keep us in games, we need someone who can act as a sweeper, we need someone who can bring the ball down from 40 yards, stun it, and break the lines like a keeping version of peak Zidane.

The universe of great keeping passed Cech by, you’re not teaching someone those new skills in their mid-thirties. We need a modern take on a keeper, and that looks more like Allison and Ederson than it does Cech.

DM me, bruh:

Arsenal made a massive hash of a DM during Wenger’s terror reign. The club thought Xhaka and Coq would be a better alt than Kante, so we passed on the Frenchman. Oh how that stung. We need to address that deep-lying midfielder. We need someone with power, pace and smooth bald head. I think AMN is the future, he has it all. Recovery pace, aggression, footballing intelligence and that cool/calm composure usually only associated with elite riflemen. He could be the answer… or the club could go big with an unknown from the Bundesliga.

Will Arsenal take a chance on youth? Let’s see…

Right, that’s me done, see you tomorrow you sexy beasts. x

Arsenal PR scramble to sell Emery as coup, not a last minute panic hire

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It’s really amusing to read the opinion police out in force when they read something they don’t like. I think the Unai Emery hire is bland, I laid out my reasons if you don’t like them, it’s really not a problem.

Here’s the thing, Emery is going to be far better than Arsene Wenger because anyone would bring improvements to us. I’ve been telling you for years that our ex-coach was dated and past it, so it’ll be really hard for anyone born of this era to not improve on 6th, no real analysis, no pressing system, and a poor grasp of coaching.


Ivan Gazidis opts for self-preservation with meek managerial appointment

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Many things to talk about today.

David Ornstein dropped the bombshell yesterday that in the whole of world football, the best we could do for our next manager was Unai Emery. I know nothing is confirmed, but Orn-dawg rarely makes a hash of an exclusive.

Now, we can start with the positives. Unai an improvement on Arsene Wenger. He won 3 Europa League’s in a row under Sevilla, which is a monster achievement. He partnered with the legendary Monchi to turnover players whilst maintaining a semi-major trophy a season for 3 years. He took Almeria to 8th. He took Valencia to 3rd 3 years running before getting fired for not being able to find the next level. He also managed to convince the vain hierarchy at PSG that he had what it took to oversee the most expensive squad in history. Apparently he has a plan

Outside the above, he fits the brief. He can work in a crappy environment, he can deal with high impact shocks to his squads, he’s very organised, and his mind is obviously valued in Europe.

However, I’m finding it very difficult to accept this was a; to quote Ivan, ‘a brave and bold decision.’

It’s a safe choice. Our CEO flirted with the idea of Arteta, but at the last minute, he bottled it and went for experience. But not exciting experience, no, he wimped out and brought in someone fairly cheap, and fairly middle of the road in the grand scheme of 46-year-old managers.

Say what you want about Arteta, but if you’re going for an exciting young coach, he was your chance to do something bold and brave. I totally understand why Ivan lost his nerve. He probably saw Henry Winter on The Sunday Supplement, he probably worried that Areta hadn’t managed a club, and he maybe read some fan boycott tweets.

Ivan being a weak decision maker shouldn’t surprise us, he’s spent the last 10 years being the lapdog of Arsene Wenger.

However, I was foolish enough to think that if we were going for a tier 2 or 1 manager, we’d at least opt for the best money could buy.

How does Emery fit that bill?

At Sevilla, in his last season, he didn’t win a single away game.

He never made the top 4 for the Spanish club.

He went to PSG and in his first season, he lost a one-horse race to a Monaco that took a chance on kids.

He botched a 4 goal lead in the Champions League to Barcelona in an utterly humiliating defeat.

This year, he was knocked out of the Champions League by Madrid, getting beaten 5-1 in the last 16. This is a manager who has the best squad in the world. This is a man with Neymar, M’Bappe, and Cavani as a front three. This is a club with the sublime Veratti in the midfield with Thiago. This is fucking PSG dripping in oil.

Here’s the real kicker, his English is bad. He’s learning a new league, a new club, and a new language all on the fly.

Our thorough search for a new manager deduced that all of the above issues didn’t matter.

Gazidis and our fancy backroom team totally bottled the chance to do something exciting.

In a world that had Jardim and Sarri available, we opted for a person who was moved on from Paris because the players didn’t listen to his ideas, and he gave up trying to discipline them.

What is wrong with the club?

What is the Emery superpower?

Ivan Gazidis will say that he just won the treble. Sure, but only after Monaco were raped of their best players. Only after PSG spent so much money they’re under investigation for FFP violations.

Chelsea are literally about to fire Conte. Why not hire him if we wanted experience? Why not sign Carlo, at least he’s won the Champions League!

I cannot understand why we’ve played the experience card, and blown the biggest opportunity of the last 20 years on a guy who has 3 Europa Leagues under his belt. Wenger nearly won that trophy playing unmotivated second stringers, losing to Koln and Ostersunds along the way.

There are 10 managers I’d have gone for before Emery.

Gazidis is weak. The leak that the board voted against Arteta isn’t cover either. Who on the board do we trust? The same guys that have let Klopp, Guardiola and Tuchel pass us by swearing allegiance to a failing Wenger? Please. The board are an embarrassment to the club.

I cannot believe I was duped into thinking Arsenal would do something interesting.

I genuinely think the fans are all united under the WTF HAVE WE DONE right now.

We just signed a manager who was fired because he couldn’t take the best squad in the world past the CL last 16. Let that sink in.


Emery is a dull signing from a CEO who just proved the banter era didn’t die with Wenger.

What a fucking moment.

Also, massive shout out to all the frauds on Twitter who said Arteta had signed. I told you it wasn’t done. Grown men desperate to appear like they’re ITK. Pathetic.

Anyway, rage over.

I’m not going to run an Emery out campaign if that’s what you’re worried about, it is what it is. I’ll rally around him and hope he wins the Champions League so you can all laugh at me.

Still, we got the experience the fans wanted. Let’s see how that pans out.

Pete x

P.S. Something actually important