ZINCHENKO DEAL MOVES TO FINAL STAGE

by .

Good people of Le Grove, it is a Saturday, I am at the hospital, it’s hour 12, and I’m writing a blog.

Am I sure of the rules around this sort of thing? No.

I will pay a price for this with divorce papers at some point, but listen, your insatiable appetite for transfer stories, or my need for attention, greatly weighs on me right now.

So what do we have to talk about?


Arsenal is closing in on Zinchenko and I am absolutely OVER the damn moon about it.

He’s a bit of a ‘woah’ signing for me, mainly because we stopped making moves like this a while ago. Experienced, a winner, in the prime of their career… it’s quite sad I think like that, but that’s how low the standards have sunk over the last 8 years.

I loved the strategy of last summer, I knew we’d go for more complete players this window, but I didn’t think they’d come with Premier League pedigree. I was expecting us to live in the world of Paqueta types. Top talent owning their league. This move on players that are already doing it in the league, but looking to break out, feels very Liverpool when they signed VVD, Mane, and Wijnaldum (stole that from @DanielZeqiri).

These two charts really paint a picture of what we have with Zinchenko.

Firstly, this is how he compares at left back to Tierney and Tavares.

Now, context-wise, accept he plays at a higher level with better players. But what I love about his data is this is a player who had an extremely choppy season with next to no minutes until December when he landed 5 Premier League starts in a row (5 wins and a draw). Then he found the bench and didn’t get a good run until the end of the season when he picked up 7 starts, landing 6 wins. That is extreme mental strength.

Remember, Tavares played great at the start of the season, got benched when Tierney returned, came back a mess against Nottingham Forest. Never recovered.

Regardless, Zinchenko’s left-back numbers are OUTRAGEOUS.

… but there is more.

These are his midfield numbers. When stacked against Granit Xhaka. More passes, more accuracy, better defending.

Then look at the fee. United is paying £50m for a 5ft9 centre-back we wanted to play at left-back. We’re getting a 4 times Premier League winner for £30m.

That is outrageous.

Again, I’m gonna go at the folk that called Arteta the cone boy. Do those people want to sit here and tell me that Zinchenko and Gabriel Jesus are coming to Arsenal under any other circumstance other than Arteta at the controls? Do you think they’re coming to Arsenal in their prime to play for a coach that doesn’t know his onions? These are the benefits of having a coach that is a top-tier thinker. It also shows you that despite some of the noise, top players can see this project is about to bang.

There are only two more jobs to be done if we get this deal over the line.

We need to sign Tielemans in central midfield, another top Premier League talent that will find new heights in our system.

We need to sign a winger with outrageous production. There are quite a lot of strong rumours linking us to Leroy Sane. He’s world-class for me, he’d represent a real hero signing, and I’d prefer him over Raphinha any day of the week. Seems like an insane move because of where he is in his career, his price tag of £60m, and his salary of £300k a week, but damn, that would be a statement piece. He’s only 26.

I’m not quite sure we’re going there, but again, if you can, and the player is willing, do it.

I want to keep our best young players at the club. Bukayo Saka needs to see where this project is heading. I’m pretty sure he’d be thrilled to see someone at Sane’s level joining the party.

There’s a rumor about Edmond Tapsoba doing the rounds again. The 50m euro centre back is 22, he’s being linked by a new site that is dedicated to transfer rumours, which is a bad business model unless you peddle 80% guff. Regardless, it’s important to remember that ground zero for Arteta last season was Newcastle. We lacked bravery to break the press and didn’t deliver on the plan. Old Arsenal might have let that slide, new Arsenal will chop out players if there’s an opportunity. Whilst I have my doubts we’ll do anything mental, don’t be shocked if a Gabriel-like name is moved if we can ship in someone else. Big clubs make hard decisions. Ben White and Gabriel dipped hard in H2 last season. I’m not giving credence to the rumour, but look, those Juve rumours won’t die. If he leaves, we are purchasing.

Strong rumours William Saliba is making his rebirth debut against Everton tomorrow. It’ll be interesting to see whether we begin to jettison some of the expendable players now the tour has taken on more seriousness.

Ok, before I go. I have TWO pieces of information.

We signed a podcast deal with BlueWire. So if there’s disruption to your podcast things, let us know, but it should be fairly straightforward. Does this deal make us professional podcasters?

If I speak…

Secondly, thank you to all the generous folk that have contributed to our Patreon subscription. You are a special bunch. We’re trying to work out what the deal is in totality. Here’s where I think we’ll land for 2022 podcast-wise.

  • On The Whistle – Premier League – free to air.
  • Before the whistle + Europa League review – Patreon
  • Special Features – Patreon

We dropped a Patreon BANGER last night. I made slides. Johnny showed up and left it all on the pitch. We talked Saliba, Zinchenko, Sane, and the shape of our summer so far. All good vibes.

Join up below.

Become a Patron!

729 Comments
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MidwestGun

Hallalujah and praise be to the Gabriel Jesus … it worked.. hahaha

karim

Thanks Left !

Dissenter

Odegaard is captain for the day

MidwestGun

Did Lampards luggage get lost and he had to buy clothes at the airport?

Mr Serge

Is it kicking off late?

MidwestGun

They are just now about to do it.. not sure.. if late.

GD4

Any streams

MidwestGun

Already Xhaka missed a shot.

MidwestGun

GD4 scroll up.

GD4

That link is awful my mcafee just went crazy

MidwestGun

Left testicle and Freddie posted some.. other then that can;t help you. sorry.

MidwestGun

Lots of fouls for a preseason match.

MidwestGun

Xhaka off the post with a header from a corner.

MidwestGun

Bad pass by Xhaka leads to a counter attack last ditch defending think it was Saliba. Been The Xhaka show so far for 25 mins good and bad as per usual. He is playing at least 20 yds further forward then normal.. don’t really get it but ok.

izzo

Turner ain’t it. Sorry we’re gonna have to pray Ramsdale doesn’t get injured throughout the season. Shouldn’t play in the league. Why can’t we buy a proper back up keeper from Europe? I don’t rate any player in MLS. Why did we buy two? Right because of our American owners tryna be slick.

Gommit

Thanks Guns.. Much better stream!

Gommit

Jesús!

MidwestGun

Jesus!!!! roofs it from a corner. 4 yds out.

karim

Get in !

Dissenter

We hav a good unit already
Partey does turn on the magic
He’s like a conductor

MidwestGun

Nice one!!!! 2-0 Saka!

Gommit

Saka with the next! Great prep from Jesus! Can’t wait for the season to start

izzo

http://papahd.club/arsenal-everton-2/ here is a good link. The commentators are kinda annoying using basketball phrases like “turnovers” and “driving”.

Jesus scores! Never in doubt. We have a striker. I expect 30-35 goals max from him this season. As i’m writing Saka scores lol. We’re gonna have fun this season. HAhaha!!!

MidwestGun

Jesus to Saka.

karim

And another one

Dissenter

It’s a feisty game
Mina and Jesus should go home together

MidwestGun

Put Paqueta or Tielemans in Xhakas spot and Zinchenko for Nuno and we are cooking. Saliba looking pretty smooth so far as well. not really tested.

Gommit

The commentary is something else 😂
And I especially liked the sauce (advert) talk midway through the half

Nigel Tufnel

Serge, Wenger Eagle, Those posts by Tony (Kroenkephobe, Veira Lynn, Junior) were not really funny. I saw them as a cry for help. Anyone who has to take on multiple personalities, personas, just to get recognition on a blog is in a lonely place. If he wasn’t so hateful to the club, I’d feel sorry for him. His pessimism is disgusting.. Dark soul in there. Tom and Rich should squash their beef. People here that I really don’t like, but then I see them holding exactly the same opinions as myself sometimes. Find some common ground. Rich is usually right… Read more »

Guns of SF

not sure who this male commentator is but he is shit

MidwestGun

I will say this about Turner.. he never looks smooth as a Keeper but I ‘v e seen him play about a dozen times and he never loses. It could be incredible luck.. Im sure his record isnt’t 100% wins. But he is not great with his feet never has been, that could be a problem.

Gommit

This should be red.. Stupid fcuk

Mr Serge

Mina trying to hurt Jesus

izzo

Hope Everton actually gets relegated this time around. Jammy fucks sneaked their way into staying up. Their whole team is rank full of average.

MidwestGun

Its some former Women’s US team player and no idea who the dude is.. sounds like possibly an MLS announcer they brought in for match. Anyhow.. Ive seen enough of Jesus.. dont need to get an injury at this point lots of fouls.

Freddie Ljungberg

Yeah the commentators are awful. Liking what I see from our front three and Partey though, even if the camera angles in that stadium are pretty terrible.

Gommit

“five corners, that is a healthy number” what is he smoking…

Gommit

I feel like a mental person.. Watching a friendly this late.. Flying out on vacation with the family tomorrow.. Great to know there are more watching.

Looking forward to see our second half team

Left Testicle

He’s some kind of schmuck, a weiner and a douchbag.

Leedsgunner

Gab Jesus scoring again, fantastic finish.

I can’t wait for the season to start.

To think we muddled along with Lacazette for so long! 😳😳😳

izzo

I just want to reach into my screen and slap this guy commentating. One of the multitude of reasons i don’t watch MLS even though i live here.

Left Testicle

He sounds like Ed Winchester from the Fast Show.

Gommit

To top it off he is an Everton fan…

Leedsgunner

Oh yeah, Saka scored again.

Can we give the boy a rest?!?!?

MidwestGun

Gommit it’s not late here …. you are mental… hahaha j/k Never need an excuse to watch the boys. .

MidwestGun

Leeds your a little behind second half just started.

Left Testicle

Refresh the page Leeds.

izzo

3 at the back? interesting.

MidwestGun

Pyramid Pirlo in for Partey I think. yep..

Gommit

They are so full of themselves.. How can they make a living from this!

Left Testicle

Verbal diarrhoea.

Gommit

They are like the drunk guys you move away from at the bar.. I have them on mute now

MidwestGun

It’s the Men in Blazers dude.. no idea why they decided to do an interview in teh middle of the game with him.

MidwestGun

Our midfield with AMN, Elneny and Xhaka now is just not good. I guess AMN is the Cam.

Gommit

I am not so sure about a lineup including Niles, Bellerin, Xhaka, El Pirlo and Pepe..

izzo

God forbid this lot are our back up players. That midfield is vomit inducing. Mikel is clearly talking shit about making the car faster.

MidwestGun

Hard to call Pepe a winger when he never plays wide. Him and Eddie are holding hands in the middle.

MidwestGun

It’s a weird formation thats for sure. Hopefully it’s just a preseason we tried this and they scrap it.

Gommit

It is painfully obvious that we must ship out around 10 players currently in the states..

Mark

Saliba looking absolute Quality!

Guns of SF

These american commentators just yapping all game long sheesh
Give it a rest for like 30 seconds now and then

izzo

Pepe needs to leave for the good of his career. Maybe we can sell him to Lyon for that Brazilian packet of crisps fella.

MidwestGun

Yep…. we could do with a yard sale. Looks like another formation change. again… Walters and Nelson and not even sure who else.. maybe 4 more changes.

izzo

Saliba is mustard. I expect White will be sitting on bench along with Holding once he’s settled into the side.

Guns of SF

Pepe is feel bad for. Sell him and Nelson and AMN.
Those fellas need to be let go. Let them live

MidwestGun

Nelson, Pepe, AMN, Mari, Bellerin ….. can we have an auction.? . invite all the MLS teams. have some phone buyers from Europe.

MidwestGun

Well my hope for a high scoring game came and left. oh well.

MidwestGun

Shoot it Hector… oops haha nevermind

Nigel Tufnel

Marcelo Pettinati (Gabriel Jesus’ agent):

“Chelsea were one of the teams that tried to hijack the Arsenal move. They tried very hard in the final days to get him. By that point, we’d already chosen our new project.” [@Freddie_Paxton]

Lol we’re gonna surpass Chelsea this season. New world order. A couple years of red ink and their new owners won’t be so cocky. Not going to write off shedloads of financial losses.

izzo

Pepe killing the attack passing backward. Put him out of his misery.

Gommit

Hector is unrecognisable from the player he was…

Zacharse

first and last time these two announcers work together thats for sure

MidwestGun

Well the second half was definitely more like I remember preseason games being like.. Kind of all over the place with not much cutting edge. But first half was decent no doubt Jesus is the real deal. looked sharp again, our front 4 looked good.. Xhaka is not a forward playing midfielder, he just isn’t, it’s weird seeing him hanging around the box. Partey looked good. Saliba was nice.

Anyhow on to the next one in Flo- rida.

Venga, Dani

Hector, Ainsley, Reiss, Pepe, Torreira, need new homes

Gommit

Let’s hope Everton get relegated this time around… what a shitty team..

MidwestGun

Get me some Zinchenko and a Midfielder. and life is good or something like that,

Venga, Dani

Forgot Pablo Mari

Mark

Fuckin Tarkoski still thinking he’s playing for Burnley with that tackle on lokonga. Dirty Cunt!

Zacharse

whos the next game against?

MidwestGun

Oh some MLS side Orlando I think.

Zacharse

hard to tell anything from pre season but i think everton are gonna have a looooooong season that i could easily see ending in relegation.

Zacharse

nice be good to play an mls team. theyre all fit mid season. hope finding a stream is easier for that one

MidwestGun

Remember Alexander Pato of Brazil and Chelski for awhile? think he plays for Orlando.

China1

Lol I think the announcers sound so excited to be commentating a soccerball game between two real soccerball teams that aren’t American. That over excitement just makes it overbearing 😅

Zacharse

pato looks like he’s from orlando.

Zacharse

ya china, when they try and work stats into their chatter youd think they were riding one of those machines that howard stern uses on his show

Leedsgunner

Gabriel Jesus sure looks the business. As for the composition of the US tour squad- apparently Arteta wanted to run the ruler over everyone in the senior team and see who wanted to fight for their place… and told everyone there they were starting with a blank slate. I think, actually this is incredibly fair minded of Arteta. Maybe it’s his way of admitting he might’ve made mistakes and he is trying to repair broken bridges. Perhaps it’s come too late for the likes of Bellerin and Torreira. Yet, it would literally save us millions if Reiss Nelson and Ainsley… Read more »

salparadisenyc

This is something I could get use to hearing “Jesus to Saka”.

Mic drop from Middy.

salparadisenyc

Got to hand it to FC Barcelona and how they just piss right in face of the financials.operating in some fringe world whilst players reported to defer wages just gets kicked down the road or under the carpet what a car crash this situation is becoming.

Never liked that god damned club, so bent.

Dissenter

Everton are really poor
The only way they don’t go down is if the newly promoted sides are real rubbish.

There was a major gulf in class between the two teams. I swear that Iwobi os the best player at Everton, thats how poor they are

DivineSherlock

Its safe to say Pedro took a big L on Jesus . He even wrote a whole blog post right ? lol

Guns of SF

I hate Barca
I hate Madrid

I think I hate Barca a little more

China1

Fuck Madrid and Barca but definitely fuck Barca more

Useroz

Italian media report Juventus would offer £25m plus Melo and Rabiot for Gabriel Magalhaes…

Tell Juventus to fuck off… 25m plus deadwood for Gabriel shows no respect for Arsenal, kinda like we are retard or something

Guns of SF

Maghales should be 55 plus
He is better than 50m benwhite

China1

Uzeros the problem is we have form of selling badly and Juve know they can unsettle players to make noise and push for a cheaper move based on the prestige of their club name and promise of titles

But yes it’s time arsenal grow a pair and tell Juve to put a 65m offer for Gabriel (market rate) or fuck off. Needs to be said in no uncertain terms so that they stop trying to unsettle the player.

He should only be for sale for a great price for arsenal.

Markymark

TT –
The comedy dream isn’t over.
Your Perisic postings will take you far. Throw in some Djed Spence shit posting and you’ve got a whole season worth of material

Guns of SF

I dont think Gabriel M will move to Juve. He does not seem the type.
He is our main CB, and we are close to getting CL now.
Plus we have more and more Braz coming in

Bob N16

Jesus loves a cross! Too much?