ALL SMILES AUBA IS BACK

by .

There are two certainties in life. Organic deodorant will always let you down and Sean Dyche’s Burnley will make you sweat.

The Turf Moor outfit are certainly not the most odious of the North West teams, but they’re not exactly a pleasant day out. If Brexit were a football club, it’d be Burnley, and they’d be telling you that the BT Call Centre should be nearshored.

Patrick Bamford had all sorts of problems when he was there.

‘There was always that stigma because I went to private school’

Dyche thought he was a ponce because he had rich parents.

‘He said that he was fascinated by how hard I worked and that he was so impressed, especially as my dad was a billionaire.’

Bamford is from Newark, his dad a local architect. This was my fave bit.

‘I went home every night wondering how to get in the Burnley team. It was: ‘You’ve been brought up nicely, had everything handed to you’. Is that what people think just because I went to private school and played instruments?’

Imagine judging someone for playing musical instruments?

So very, very Sean Dyche.

We’ll be in for a rough ride tomorrow. The kick-off is early. That doesn’t make a difference to Arsenal, we’ve had a week off, but it might be difficult for them after their heroic point in the week against Leicester.

My hope is that the fresh legs add something to our game. Last time we had a few days off, we absolutely controlled Leeds and spanked them. I want to see that level of control tomorrow.

The thing we’re all looking for is the early goal… it’d be nice to score one, instead of conceding after 16 seconds. It’s an away game, we need to shut up shop, keep it tight, then play into their fatigue as the game goes on.

This is also a huge test of Mikel Arteta’s team when it comes to rotational intellectulus. Yep, I made that term up, but we need to see a line-up that factors winning the Europa League, and being fresh for West Ham and Sp*rs. Really, you’d hope we could go light for Burnley… but you’re messing with momentum. Fuck the Burnley game and it all falls apart.

Trends are looking good for Arsenal. Expected goals for and against are trending in the right direction according to The Athletic.

‘THE ONLY TABLE THAT MATTERS IS THE LEAGUE’, yes, yes, we hear you… but actually, the table wasn’t a good indicator of progress when we were on a 20 game unbeaten run with Emery… the xG table was the one that mattered in the longterm.

Good performances beget good results. Our results have improved, but when we were bad, we were really bad, so you aren’t seeing it in the table yet.

The next few games are hugely important. Win tomorrow and we’re 3 points off Liverpool. Beat Spurs and we’re 2 points behind them. Don’t even think about beating the mighty West Ham, they’re too good, title winners 2022.

Finally, it was nice to see Auba on a fan channel chatting to an Arsenal fan. He was smiling, saying contemporary words like sweg, and having a pretty good time by the looks of things. A far cry from the hostage video he dropped in December. If Auba is happy, everyone is happy, he seems like one of those characters whose moods have an outsized effect on everyone else. When they’re up, everyone is… when they’re down, the whole room is lead boots in the ocean.

On that note, have a great Friday night, see you bright and early for an On-The-Whistle podcast with Johnny and Matt.

 

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Anonymous Commentator

@afc

So we were meant to be rewarded a penalty and have been robbed.
Oh well

Burnley gonna get their tails up now cause they know the refs are ruling in their favour.

Leftside

“These games are being rigged ?“

Wouldn’t surprise me, either that or the referees are genuinely horrific. I think its more of the latter.

Frost

“That penalty gets rewarded if it’s against us and luiz is handling the ball like that”

Fact.

Paddy+Gooner

Burnley definitely best team this half

Gazzap

Have Burnley had more shots on target today than ANY game so far this season? Their record before today was 7. So arsenal like.

MidwestGun

Holy crap… that was close.

raptora

Ceballos in for Partey.

I assume all 3 subs were preplanned.

Matt

Ffs

TheLegendaryDB10

Really good save by Leno. Kept us in the game.

raptora

Shocker from Pepe.

Leftside

so when is Elneny or one of them man coming on?

Just Another Customer

finally a good low cross from Tierney but oh Pepe

karim

I give up

Useroz

Manure, Pool will get that fuxjing pen 100 of 100 times.

Pepeeeeeee… fuxking missed a near tap in

Dissenter

I have never seen a case of two handballs in quick succession in the box that wasn’t called a penalty
VAR didn’t even pause the play to review the handballs

English referees are abusing football.

Nelson

Pepe, WTF!!!

Arteta out.

Black+Snake

🤣🤣🤣 my god. £70million

Anonymous Commentator

Not our day today huh.
Chance itself is conspiring against us.

TheBayingMob

OMG. Fucking Sunday league stuff …

Gazzap

Right fuck off arteta with that sub. Arteta out.

Steven Berg

pepe = yaya sanogo

Radio Raheem

Pepe you muppet

Leftside

Well there as I said it, your not trying to win the game making those kind of changes. I’m not even crying out for Martinelli at this point he shouldn’t make match day squads like Eddie because he is not going to play no matter what.

MidwestGun

Pfffft… damn..

Useroz

So slow in MF

Mr Serge

I actually hate xhaka

Samesong

That was the chance to seal it.

karim

Penalty ?

raptora

No way.

Useroz

OHhhhhhhhh

Pepeeee

JOEL

That’s a “sitter” missed in each half…This team has to learn to be more clinical

Black+Snake

What does Martinelli have to do to get a game? Poor lad, i hope he gets a chance somewhere else

Useroz

JUSTICE DONE

raptora

I don’t think this is a hand ball.

MuddyGooner

OMG !
How may more sitters are we going to miss ?

karim

Good shot with the right foot though

Paddy+Gooner

Peno

Frost

Penalty aside, We’ve absolutely got ourselves to blame if we don’t win this.

Chances aplomb… Almost as if we showing teams how not to score.

Paddy+Gooner

Shoulder

Useroz

Why Var pics weren’t shown for Peters earlier hand ball??

Paddy+Gooner

Not a peno

Radio Raheem

Shoulder

raptora

It’s not a pen.

Anonymous Commentator

It’s shoulder.
Unreal.

Ben D

Pepe fluffs the easy chance and hits a perfect one with the more difficult one… That looks like shoulder though… A pen and red card would be harsh, but I wouldn’t complain if it’s given

Gazzap

This really isn’t our day. Ffs.

Just Another Customer

now they’re correcting the ref

wtf fuck this shit

MidwestGun

VAR is killing me this year.. I swear.

G8

Where was the var earlier!!

Black+Snake

🤣🤣🤣🤣 they couldnt score in a brothel

Anonymous Commentator

The football god’s mock us.

raptora

Ye, VAR refuses to give pen (correct) but doesn’t give an obvious one (false). Gotta be against Arsenal.

Useroz

But you’d ask why pepe aimed for the two defenders with the whole left side of the goal open…

MuddyGooner

No fucking luck

So Arteta please explain to me how Willian is keeping out Martinelli by playing sooooooo well. Unless I’m blind he was pretty shit again today

underrated Coq

Its all set up perfectly for the referee conspiracy theories and the excuses. Never mind the garbage performance

Anonymous Commentator

Still got time to score, let’s see if we can.

TheBayingMob

I don’t think I’ve seen as many frustrating games from Arsenal in 40 years of watching them than this season alone. Horrible game. Handballs not given then the one that is is rescinded. You couldn’t make it up.

Leedsgunner

We are the experts in sabotaging ourselves.

How will the Arteta apologists explain this away if we draw or lose this game?

Useroz

Not happy Var pics not shown at all for the earlier hand ball…. what’s to hide??

raptora

Pepe 4 goals in 5 away games. Better start Willian.

Arteta in a nutshell.

Steven Berg

arteta out – fukkkkin out NOW!

TheLegendaryDB10

VAR is now used….. And we know the outcome of that ….
It’s not a pen (which it wasn’t, I agree)

But why no VAR before then with the other more obvious pen??…. ineptitude doesn’t even begin to describe PGMOL.

G8

The first handball was pen all day long..
If that was manure you would bet your house it would be given..
Fact though we aren’t playing well and our midfield is shockingly poor
Xhaka gone hiding since his fuck up earlier
Lacazette should try to stay up little more often than falling off his ass everytime he is touched
Nothing happening in our favour so far!

Gonsterous

So.much for the easier run than the EL that people were touting here earlier, we can’t beat fking burnley of all teams. Geezus

Soham

Still dont understand how the earlier penalty was not given..the guy leaned in with his hand to stop the ball ! Wtf is the ref at VAR doing

Paddy+Gooner

This is ruining g my Saturday

Gazzap

Why are we so inconsistent.
You cannot trust this team. I’m sure it’s arteta. He can’t find a team to rely on a style of play.

Useroz

Laca does nothing as a 10 so far

Radio Raheem

Hindsight always a good thing but Arteta should have started with this side but for Partey. Nothing wrong in a 442 against Burnley.

Leftside

We only have ourselves to blame for today.

Anonymous Commentator

Earlier pen wasn’t given because it wasn’t in the script that we be rewarded a penalty today.

JOEL

At this point…I think its clear that Lacazette is NOT a ” number 10″

Fuck off Arteta. Absolutely shocking manager.

Chris

Something has to be done about the pathetic state of refereeing in this country. It’s simply shambolic all around, the refs themselves, the inconsistent rulings, the incorrect practice of VAR. For a billion industry its criminal.

TheRoyalArsehole

Garbage Owner, Garbage Squad, Garbage Manager, Garbage Season. This is now just weekly a fucking embarrassment. We have no right to think in any way shape or form this squad deserves to win shit. A fucking embarrassment

Paddy+Gooner

Laca doing nothing

Useroz

Pepe on as a sub and Willian started… Arteta should be fired.

What’s Willians goal tally?

Mr Serge

These decisions against us are unreal

Radio Raheem

Laca has caused their defenders more problems than Auba, Ode and Willian combined in the time he has been on

Buzzy

Embarrassing..anyone who can defend this blind and delusional and not a real fan

Paddy+Gooner

4 mins

Socrates

Another generational performance from the sauce manager. This is progress people, fucking progress I tell you!

karim

Auba, Saka and Pepe all missed a sitter, Xhaka brain farted again and then var finished us !
Definitely banter FC !

SpanishDave

Not good for confidence next week , Arteta just cannot keep it going.
Poor up front today, Saka looks out of it on the right.
Pepe is top heavy he cannot maintain balance.
Drop xhaka please

Soham

Teh refs certainly.have something against Arsenal

Leftside

In spite of the “injustices” we’ve had more than enough opportunities to win this game

Useroz

BTW, have any of you seen Arteta put on an Arsenal jacket or shirt etc during.a game??

Just leave

Anonymous Commentator

Burnley gotten 4 points from our head to head this season if things end as they are.

raptora

Truth be told, we don’t deserve to win this game. We weren’t the better team.

Garbage performance. Horrible stuff. Who dafug expects this team to win Europa???

Gazzap

No I have had enough of arteta. That’s it. I’m done defending him.

DUIFG

Oh arteta, you dome some shit which is mind boggling,

Willian was fucking shite xacka playing, inexplicably dropping an rb in good form.

You are not pep guardiola

The Royal Arsehole

Spot on,

Downundergunner

Xhaka can’t hit a forward pass, our game style is pathetic considering the players we have, absolutely no creativity in midfield

Gazzap

We haven’t won a single second ball all day in the final third.

Anonymous Commentator

Useroz

Arteta doesn’t wear the club colours, never ever in the history of his managerial career will be wear the club colours.
At least a scarf.

AFC Forever

VAR has stolen the points. Fact.

Useroz

Fuck

Fuxk

raptora

Lol another shot to the post.