ALL SMILES AUBA IS BACK

by .

There are two certainties in life. Organic deodorant will always let you down and Sean Dyche’s Burnley will make you sweat.

The Turf Moor outfit are certainly not the most odious of the North West teams, but they’re not exactly a pleasant day out. If Brexit were a football club, it’d be Burnley, and they’d be telling you that the BT Call Centre should be nearshored.

Patrick Bamford had all sorts of problems when he was there.

‘There was always that stigma because I went to private school’

Dyche thought he was a ponce because he had rich parents.

‘He said that he was fascinated by how hard I worked and that he was so impressed, especially as my dad was a billionaire.’

Bamford is from Newark, his dad a local architect. This was my fave bit.

‘I went home every night wondering how to get in the Burnley team. It was: ‘You’ve been brought up nicely, had everything handed to you’. Is that what people think just because I went to private school and played instruments?’

Imagine judging someone for playing musical instruments?

So very, very Sean Dyche.

We’ll be in for a rough ride tomorrow. The kick-off is early. That doesn’t make a difference to Arsenal, we’ve had a week off, but it might be difficult for them after their heroic point in the week against Leicester.

My hope is that the fresh legs add something to our game. Last time we had a few days off, we absolutely controlled Leeds and spanked them. I want to see that level of control tomorrow.

The thing we’re all looking for is the early goal… it’d be nice to score one, instead of conceding after 16 seconds. It’s an away game, we need to shut up shop, keep it tight, then play into their fatigue as the game goes on.

This is also a huge test of Mikel Arteta’s team when it comes to rotational intellectulus. Yep, I made that term up, but we need to see a line-up that factors winning the Europa League, and being fresh for West Ham and Sp*rs. Really, you’d hope we could go light for Burnley… but you’re messing with momentum. Fuck the Burnley game and it all falls apart.

Trends are looking good for Arsenal. Expected goals for and against are trending in the right direction according to The Athletic.

‘THE ONLY TABLE THAT MATTERS IS THE LEAGUE’, yes, yes, we hear you… but actually, the table wasn’t a good indicator of progress when we were on a 20 game unbeaten run with Emery… the xG table was the one that mattered in the longterm.

Good performances beget good results. Our results have improved, but when we were bad, we were really bad, so you aren’t seeing it in the table yet.

The next few games are hugely important. Win tomorrow and we’re 3 points off Liverpool. Beat Spurs and we’re 2 points behind them. Don’t even think about beating the mighty West Ham, they’re too good, title winners 2022.

Finally, it was nice to see Auba on a fan channel chatting to an Arsenal fan. He was smiling, saying contemporary words like sweg, and having a pretty good time by the looks of things. A far cry from the hostage video he dropped in December. If Auba is happy, everyone is happy, he seems like one of those characters whose moods have an outsized effect on everyone else. When they’re up, everyone is… when they’re down, the whole room is lead boots in the ocean.

On that note, have a great Friday night, see you bright and early for an On-The-Whistle podcast with Johnny and Matt.

 

981 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
zaco

only me here

zaco

still only me?

zaco

let’s go

zaco

here you go

Jake

And me

Mark S

Better than where we are currently….unfortunately.

Nelson

calm before the storm.

zaco

I expect Arsenal to win tomorrow but Early kickoff has been problematic in recent seasons

Kroenkephobe

Things have moved sideways from the late 70s I guess. In our (pretty rough) school, kids would call you a ‘poof’ if you were earmarked to do O Levels (that’s a GCSE for all da yute on here, aiiiii’t).

Burnley – the club whose supporters hired a plane last year trailing a banner that said, “white lives matter, Burnley”. Grim environment matched only by Dyche who likes a whinge about un-ingerlish football while leasing the likes of Ashley Barnes on the world.

Kroenkephobe

*unleashing…

Lamia

Bloody hell . Is the Yaya Sanogo who just put a penalty wide in the Huddersfield v Cardiff game (and subsequently take off) the same guy who Wenger signed years ago to lead our attack. If it is he is just another one in the legions of players who have left arsenal and gone into obscurity.

The only one who we have dropped the ball on is Serge Gnabry. All these guys we have on loan should be got rid of. They are not god enough for Arsenal and her will be.

Words on a Blog

Pedro,

It’s all an act with Sean Dyche.

I know someone who went to school with him in Kettering (year above).

According to Wikipedia, Dyche’s dad was a management consultant who worked for British Steel in India, Egypt and…..Corby.

Hardly a Working Class Hero.

Words on a Blog

I almost always get my predictions wrong, but I think its 3-1 to the good guys against Dyche’s Demons over at Burninhell tomorrow.

bacaryisgod

Important article from Barney Ronay.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2021/mar/05/arsenal-visit-rwanda-shirtsleeve-deal-david-luiz

Not entirely convinced by the entire argument. For example Hotel Rwanda’s Paul Rusesabagina is widely alleged to have been a far more corrupt character than portrayed in the film. Nevertheless it is a necessary discussion to have and one that we would hope the club would take seriously.

bacaryisgod

My dad lived in Kettering and owned a betting shop there a number of years ago. Had no idea we were all connected to the place!

SAGG

Villarreal: 3 points of the last 24

Really, Im not happy with Arteta but Unai Emery was a worse appointment. Dont understand how some fans miss him.

Words on a Blog

Pedro/Bacary,

hmmm, the Kettering Connection…I went there a couple of times ten years ago and I can’t remember a single thing about the place!

I have to say I’m sharing your upbeat feelings about Arsenal at the moment, Pedro….we have been playing some attractive football with a good mix of silk and steel.

As long as nobody gets a red card, we should be good for tomorrow.

AFC Forever

Words “I have to say I’m sharing your upbeat feelings about Arsenal at the moment, Pedro….we have been playing some attractive football with a good mix of silk and steel.” Yep teams improving plus we’ve got Tierney & Partey back. I dislike Dyche, he’s so fake and his team are a throwback to bygone times. Hoofball, push, shove, leave a foot in Northern thugs allowed to get away with it by the Northern PGMOL officials against the “southern softies”. How ironic Far too good for them, we need to tear them a new one tomorrow & prove what a good… Read more »

Words on a Blog

AFC,

I actually don’t mind Dyche too much – he’s a bit of a twat, but doesn’t take himself too seriously like Allardyce or Pulis (my two least favourite British managers).

Hate his football though, and would love it if Burnley finally get relegated…they always seem to have a little phase where they flirt with relegation but then relentlessly ease off into the lower mid-table.

Zacharse

Damn glad everyones feeling good. Personally i wont be rising at 4am to watch us play burnley.

Also, what the hell is it w the youth teamers slagging tetz in the media? Even if he is poor at man mgmt as the echo chamber on here asserts, how the fuck is that the way to approach the issue? Amn is better off under big sam imo but i doubt west brom will actually pay what he’s worth on the market. Don’t tell amn though otherwise he’ll start talking even more shit to anyone who buys him a candy bar

AFC Forever

Words, nobody can out bastard Putrid Pulis. I just find Dyche a bit fake, he’s always playing the poor little us card. Watch the time wasting and attempts to take rhythm out of the game. Need to bury our chances.

AFC Forever

Zacharse. Players who have too much to say are usually the average ones. They’re employees and they need to respect that, In what other job can you behave like that? Overpaid, over opinionate, primadonas who think they’re better that they are. If you think you’re so good let your football do the talking!!

HerbsArmy

Kettering Town, the only place big Ron (Atkinson) ever won a title (1974), the Southern League, just before Wimbledon came along and dominated.
Hopefully a comfortable win tomorrow to keep the momentum going for revenge on Olympiakos.
NLD coming fast on the horizon.

AFC Forever

A run of ‘revenge’ fixtures. We owe Burnley Brutes, the Greeks & the Spudettes. Should never have list any of those games so we have to take what we are owed. Can’t wait!

AFC Forever

*lost

HerbsArmy

Arsenal played Kettering in a ‘friendly’ in the early 1970’s to celebrate either an expansion or the opening of Rockingham Road stadium. It was a glorified kick-about than Arsenal won 3-0, Charlie George scored from the halfway line.

Kroenkephobe

Fucking small world. It was at a school in Corby where I was called a “poof” for doing O Levels. See my earlier message. I spent many of my formative years there which explains why I’m such a narrow-minded misanthrope. In my day, Corby was a swirling vortex of sewage while Kettering was a little bit more gentrified. In an inevitable race to the bottom – and separated by only a few miles – they now comfortably and equally qualify as two of middle ingerland’s foremost shitholes. When I lived in Corby (a town of 60, 000 depressed burghers) there… Read more »

Aussie+Gooner

The stars have aligned!
Set up for a perfect match!
Kick off 8.30pm my time.
Working night shift with internet access
Kick back and enjoy the game
We loose 1-0 to the Northern thugs!

Aussie+Gooner

Some negativity towards Dyche on here! He has to play with the cards he is dealt. How would Pep or Klopp go at Turf Moor?

Kroenkephobe

The best thing I got from living in Corby was an appreciation of Scottish culture – in my day the town was about 60% ethnically Scottish, mainly from the west coast. As a result, I can read oor wullie, the broons and Irvine Welsh’s oeuvre without requiring a dictionary. It’s only 100 miles north of London but the shops had scotch pies, tattie scones, haggis and lashings of Irn Bru. It also had a Rangers club and its own brand of sectarianism along with daft flute bands and graffiti. Kettering, by contrast, was a haven for sheep shaggers and carrot… Read more »

Words+on+a+Blog

Kroenkephobe,

Haha I’m so sorry for dredging up those bad old memories of Kettering and Corby….being called a poof for doing O Levels – wow!

That image of the bowling alley is seared into
my retina to the tune of “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”. Easy to forget what a drab and miserable place Ingerland used to be (or in the case of Kettering and Corby, still is)

DivineSherlock

AFC Forever

I like that , ‘ a run of revenge fixtures ‘ . Burnley , Olympiacos and Spurs . I really really hope we smash Olympiacos and Auba gets a hattrick in the first leg . Boy does he deserve it .

Moray

Kroenkephobe, was your masculinity restored once you failed all of the O Levels you took? 🙂

Tony

We should dispatch Burnley today. I never understood the Arteta-Saliba relationship or Arteta’s reasoning for Arteta’s poor and shoddy handling of the young CD. Until I read a couple of days ago that Arteta has been interested in Konate for some time. Apparently it was reported that Arteta now has to decide whether to sell Saliba and try to bring Konata to Arsenal. WHY? None of that makes sense as Arteta has no idea what either Konata or Saliba can do in an Arsenal shirt. Could well be click bait but it seems the kind of thing Arteta would do… Read more »

Tony

giving them game time *

Leedsgunner

I would be tempted to play the side that played Leicester versus Burnley… so we can play our strongest XI versus Olympiokos. Shame that Reiss Nelson played for the u23s because I would have thrown him in there too. Leno Bellerin — Mari — Luiz — Cedric Cebellos Willian — Odegaard — Pepe —————— Martinelli ————— —————— Lacazette—————— This way we can keep our absolute best players for the game against Olympiokos to achieve a big first leg win against them so we can rest them for the return leg… plus it’s important for us to face Spurs with momentum… Read more »

China1

Trololol that you bring back interest and importance of XG and XGA when the numbers finally look better for arteta

Funny how they were barely mentioned before

Also how can you say the xg of emery’s unbeaten run was misleading, we came 5th and one good penalty off 3rd and one good performance away from winning the EL on top. On what planet was that worse than what we’ve had this year? It was miles better

Pedro you smoke some good shit sometimes I’m telling ya!

China1

Oh and with a considerably worse squad where we depended often on players who have since been binned off en masse

By all means shit on emery but not for his first season. That’s just nonsense Pedro

China1

Speaking of English shit holes, Swindon and Birmingham have to be up there

I’ve been to brum about 6 times and never seen the sun. Miserable architecture, bland geography, it was just eternally bleak every time I’ve been. I forget if this was brum or somewhere else but I seem to recall right off the city center near the coach station there was some ruined buildings. I asked what happened and was told ‘bombed during the war’. I was like bro that was a while ago…

China1

The bull ring is such a hideously ugly building as well and that’s a brum flagship project! At least they got a cool new library

China1

Apart from that library my only positive memories of brum are seeing Aussie Pink Floyd there with my dad which was immense. And seeing diaby scoring with a deflected shot in a PL game we won there way back when when I had to sit with the villa fans haha

JayJay

Pedro
I worked in Kettering for a while as well

DivineSherlock

China1

The xG stat was right next season , he got found out badly and struggled didnt he? Which is why we had to sack him . The 22 match unbeaten run was the anomaly.

I hate Green Bay

So, Aussie Gunner has crawled back out of his cave. So called “superfan” who wanted us to lose to Leicester.

Foxy

Add Luton to the list of middle England total dumps. Only a few miles up the road from poncy Harpenden and St Albans but you think you are in a different universe.

Foxy

Last week I was thinking that top 6 would be about Arsenal level for next year but with Liverpool still in melt down and Man U strangely inconsistent perhaps top 4 is achievable with some clever squad management. Man City and probably Chelsea will be there but the other two spots could be up for grabs. Not playing Thursday nights next year may be a real opportunity but I wont complain if we end up in th CL by wiining the EL.

Chris

We haven’t lost at Turf Moor since Burnley came back to the top flight, although it always seems like a dodgy place to go.

I think we win by a solitary goal. 1-0, or 2-1.

They way things are going in the PL for everyone, we have to work out a way to rotate to remain competitive in both the league and EL. Leicester last week is a great example to show it can be done. The next couple of weeks is a tough run though.

Foxy

Yes this season is survival of the fittest and cleverest at squad management. Luck with injuries is going to be a big factor just look at Leicester and Southampton’s problems.

Gonsterous

How many games is XG looking into to find the future trend? It can’t be just from Christmas as everyone and their dog knows, the league is long and very unpredictable things happen. Look at Liverpool, xG had them to retain their title and dominate another year of English football. Now they are sitting in 6th. Great to look at stats but at the end of the day, it’s never the true outcome, because so many factors come into play.

Terraloon

Ah Kettering Tyres anyone ?

The first club, I think to have shirt advertising in the Uk was Kettering

DivineSherlock

Foxy

I dont think so mate , Utd also looks set to be in top4 as well. Thats only 1 spot left to grab . Leicester will have the advantage as they are out of Europa , also West Ham showing no signs of slowing down . Spurs also have integrated Delle Alli back just in time to face us . The best we can hope is top 6

Pierre

XG ?

At the end of the day , if a team has more shots at goal than the opposition , they will normally score more goals and therefore win more football matches and vice versa

If a team continually fails to win football matches despite having more chances than the opposition, it is because
1) Your strikers are shit.
2)your keeper is shit.
3) Or both.

Aussie+Gooner

Green Bay

You obviously don’t get irony!

The only thing consistent this season is inconsistency! We could well loose tonight the way we have been playing at times – I sincerely hope that we don’t as I will be watching live! I have never wished defeat on the club I have supported for over 55 years – period!

Talking of shithouse towns in the UK – I would concur with Swindon. I just don’t see the point in it! They even sell postcards of the ‘famous’ roundabouts!

Pierre

There are a couple of ways of looking at today’s game. If we win , it means Arteta will continue with rhe experienced players as he believes we have a chance of Europe. If we lose today , the chances of qualifying for Europe will be remote especially if the other teams above us win.. So a defeat today and next week may make Arteta take a few more risks with his team selection as mid table will be our likely finishing position. If we do have a couple of defeats, will Arteta experiment with youth , one would like… Read more »

Kroenkephobe

Chris I think some of our wins there in the past few years have come as a result of some last 5 minute beneficial reffing decisions. I think today will be a bit more straightforward. If we challenge their big cf (wood) effectively enough in the air, we’ll nullify their attack. Dyche to me seems addicted to hoofball. Last week against the spuds, their cm was completely missing at times hence the flurry of goals at the start. I reckon there’ll be serial foul play aimed at the likes of ESR and Saka – we really need a captain in… Read more »

Northbanker

Tony

as per my post yesterday, I agree

we sell Laca and use Martinelli and Balogun as back up for Auba in main CF role. Also sell Nketiah. That will hopefully help Balogun to re-sign

We bring back both Saliba and Mavrapanos and they act as cover for Holding. Sell Chambers and retire off Luiz. Gives us 5 CBs for next year

Tony

Northbanker
Sorry didn’t see your post yesterday, so agree with what you said.

Would love one of the above kids make the CF’s position his own by the end of the season or at least stake a strong challenge.

SpanishDave

Weetabix is made in Kettering!

Chris

Regarding Swindon, there was a line from a British film yonks ago where someone was resuscitated, they were asked what it felt like to be dead, and he answered “Ever been to Swindon?” Can’t remember the film though.

Kroenkephobe – Yep I recall Koscielny putting one in off his backside, they have mostly been close games up there but hopefully we keep the lucky streak going.

One of the most satisfying games against them was where we won with the last minute Sanchez penalty, although that was at home.

Le Professor

“Finally, it was nice to see Auba on a fan channel chatting to an Arsenal fan.”

Auba needs to step in front of the cameras when we next lose as he’s supposed to be our captain

Uwot?

Kronkephobe.Personally would have Cedric instead of Bellend.Luis & holdinho for height & aggression.It will be non stop aerial bombardment.Particularly from any free kicks.Plus expecting a VAR stitch up as Lenin “ no friend” of ours is running that.Hates us.

Uwot?

Lenin should be Kevin.!

Kroenkephobe

Uwot

Cedric over Hector the Mannequin every time on current form. I think I’d put Gabriel in alongside Holding.

Yeah, I reckon Kevin Friend is more Stalinist than Leninist in his attitude to AFC.

Let’s hope we’re not on here talking about some dreadful reffing error in a few hour’s time and instead celebrating an unequivocal win. Time for avenging that dogshit game against them earlier in the season by recreating our form against Leicester.

andy1886

Steady on their Pierre, it’s almost sounding like you want us to lose today so Arteta can play the youth that you’ve been clamouring for. And I thought that anyone who ever wanted us to lose was beyond the pale on LG. I agree that I’d like to see some of our young propocts get some game time but you don’t need to lose a game to do that. A decent manager should be adept at bringing youngsters through, giving them minutes at the end of games and ramping up their game time. The club should have decided by now… Read more »

andy1886

*there, not their.

Steven Berg

12.30 kick off?

Northbanker

Kroenke

totally agree – Gabriel’s power is a must. Plus i think he’s the most progressive of all of our CBs in seeking forward momentum . Can’t stand the Leno-Luiz double act of slow passes around our own penalty area before we get any momentum at all. Holding is not much better. Boy do we miss Martinez – far better for transition but I’ve got to get over this huge mistake by our mgmt team!

Up 4 grabs now

Afternoon, sat at the beach with a beer on the go ready for the game. Surrounded by bindipper fans crying about klopp being misunderstood and its all Var’s fault. Loving it. Expect the usual Neanderthal football today from Dyche and his boys. Lump it up to the big man, so would definitely have holding playing in defence for us. Its the business end of the season and nows the time to put a run together whether its europa or league games. Winning breeds confidence. Its in arteta hands, 4th spot somehow is possible, God knows how but this season is… Read more »

Kroenkephobe

Come on you rip roaring reds! Do it for all of us who’ve had to live in shitholes like Corby, Kettering, Brum, Luton and Swindon! Oh and Slough.

Up for grabs – hope you’re somewhere tropical rather than Rhyl or Southend!

Up 4 grabs now

Kroenkephobe,

Durban in South Africa, born and lived in London for 42 years, moved out here 5 years ago. 28 degrees bikini babes and budweiser. Can’t ask for much more, except three points today mate!

Up 4 grabs now

Come on you rip roaring reds, lol haven’t heard that in about 20 plus years, back in my northbank days.

Kenyangunner

Yaya Sanogo who led the Gunnera attack against Bayern some years ago is now playing for championship relegation candidates!

Kroenkephobe

Up 4 grabs

Sounds very pleasant mate. It was that woman with the shrill voice wasn’t it. She used to save it up and squawk it out when nothing was happening, usually in the second half. I think she moved to the clock end when the mural was in place and ended up in the west stand…

Up 4 grabs now

Kroenkephobe,

I always thought it was a dude?
Maybe she copied him? Lol

Nelson

Chambers starts for Arsenal, while Saka, Aubameyang and Partey all come into the starting XI

Nelson

Leno, Chambers, Tierney, Luiz, Mari, Xhaka, Partey, Saka, Odegaard, Willian, Aubameyang

Subs: Ryan, Bellerin, Gabriel, Ceballos, Pepe, Holding, Lacazette, Eleney, Martinelli

Nelson

Looks like Arteta is playing his favorite, Luiz and Willian again….

azed

Burnley 0 – Arsenal 4.

Telling you for free.

Nelson

Wonder whether Arteta will play Auba every game. Hopefully, we can establish a big lead early and can give Auba and Saka some rest. They are needed for the upcoming games.

Yeah, surprises me when he then suggests players in front of Martinelli are ahead of him because of performances they’ve put in. Well up to last week Willian has been utter gash so that doesn’t quite ring true does it? Let’s hope last week is the catalyst for Willian kicking on and being more consistent as well

Habesha Gooner

We need to win today if we are going to stand any chance of a european spot. Burnley will crumble if we score early. set pieces are their main weapon so arieally we have to be aware. If we drop points here I think we could say goodbye to even competing for a europa league spot.

Socrates

Willian over Pepe… Arteta is fucking pathetic

Chris

Hope Partey comes though today unscathed.

Let’s see how Chambers gets along.

Socrates

It’s beyond amateur hour with Arteta. Joke manager

Karsa

Pepe for Thursday.

TheLegendaryDB10

Looking forward to today’s game. Burnley will be tough customers but I can’t see why we can’t win against them.

And having an all smiles Auba is definitively an asset to have on match day.

Karsa

5 games in 15 days coming up. Arteta can’t pick everyone’s favourite team for every game.

Nelson

I can see that Arteta is setting up this lineup to face Spuds. There will be some rotation in Thursday’s game. Probably, Holding, Bellerin, Pepe and Laca will be back in unless Auba is subbed out early today.

Bergkamp63

Seems like the usual Troglodytes can’t distinguish the difference between dropped & rested.

No surprise there then.

TheLegendaryDB10

I didn’t notice that Willian is on the team sheet. Now that he has “come good”, MA can’t help himself and selects him.

He is desperate to show that he was not wrong in believing in him. For his sake I do hope to see Willian put in a shift today.

andy1886

Chambers at RB? He’s never been reliable there, an amateur mistake that MA shouldn’t make if he had ever watched his previous performances in that position.

Willian for Pepe was soooooo predictable.

andy1886

“Seems like the usual Troglodytes can’t distinguish the difference between dropped & rested.”

Enlighten us, who has been rested?

Karsa

Chambers is not the best right back but has the aerial strength to help withstand the Burnley bombardment.

Bergkamp63

Soares rested, along with Pepe for Thursday ?

Nelson

I can see that Willian will connect better with Tierney while Pepe can score all by himself. Maybe Arteta is planning to replace Saka by Pepe on Thursday.

Muppetman

Why not build up willans confidence while he has had a couple of games? Fucking pathetic some of the fans in here. Let’s watch the match and support everyone!

Terraloon

Habesha

Due to the introduction of the third UEFA competition there are only two EL places.

As things stand one is allocated to the FA cup winners ( unless of course it’s won by any team finishing in the top 5).
The lowest position Arsenal can finish and qualify potentially is 6th.
Should the league be sacrificed? Well at a couple of £million per place that’s perhaps not do sensible but at the same time winning the EL offers up the riches of the CL

Bergkamp63

What if the FA cup is won by a top 5 team ?

Is it then 7th ?

MidwestGun

Hello Ladies.. another early match testing my sleep deprivation skills. Anyhow.. I really wish announcers would stop giving stats like we haven’t been beaten at Turf Moor since 1973… It’s just tempting fate.
WE should win though.. you can’t talk about progress and then fail against bottom feeders and also fail in consistency. 3 match winning streak sounds good, to me. So lets do that.

I would prefer Chambers at CB as well.. and he hasn’t played since when? seems like forever. Anyhow hopefully he answers the bell.

1 2 3 10