So, anyone out here getting a little bit, you know, irritable?

I am.

WHERE ARE THE PLAYERS!

I don’t have any updated intel on what is going on. I assume that Arsenal is looking at all options whilst also wrestling with new information… like, what the hell are we going to do about the £93m we’re probably going to lose in gate receipts this season?

The Torreira and Partey rumours are turning into the summers most boring transfer saga. They want to loan Torreira, we want to sell. They want to keep Thomas Partey, we’ll do pretty much anything bar pay the buy-out clause to bring him here. My hopeful guess is that we’ll come to an agreement. I wouldn’t be shocked if we jumped in with a loan with a YOU BEST PAY UP clause for next season. That would suit the player and the club. It looks like it’ll run right up to the wire regardless.

The even more boring transfer saga of Houssem Aouar continues to drag like a piece of toilet paper on the bottom of a Gucci loafer in an Essex night club. There are some accounts saying the bid has been sent. I find that sort of chatter so boring. It reeks of opportunists pretending they’re so connected to the deal they are getting texts when the fax is sent.

‘Vinnai, remember to leak to that small French account when you’ve finished up on that bid. Not like you have anything else to be doing today’

Creativity is the most important thing we can add to the squad as we stand right now. I’d love the mobility Thomas would bring to the club, but we’re really going to struggle against organised teams this season if we go in as-is.

The grimmest rumour we’ve had to listen to is the Jorginho suggestion. As a player, in Italy, in a league that doesn’t press, he’s perfect. Putting him into our midfield next to Xhaka would be a recipe for getting utterly rolled. I really, really, really, don’t want to see him line up in our midfield this season.

That said, we are going to have to consider other options at some point. They might not be our favoured choices, but our analysts are sure to have names that we could develop that could move our creativity up a notch or two.

Let us not forget that there are still a number of players that could see sharp exits over the next 10 days.

Cal Chambers is a Prem ready defender that needs games, he was in great form before he picked up that nasty injury, and I’m sure someone will move for him.

Mustafi was our best defender over the last 6 months. If he’s available for £8m, I wouldn’t be shocked to see a club in Europe come to his rescue. Though his wages might be a bit rich. One thing is for sure, he’s a game-time kind of guy. I don’t think he’d want to do nothing for a year.

Sokratis just needs to be shown the door. What a boring saga this one has been so far. Some West Ham folk were hearing rumours Moyes has bid for him.

Matteo is far too young to sit in the U23s for an entire year. He either has to lower his standards or get on his knees and beg for redemption. I am a bit surprised no one wants to take a chance on him. But, as is true in the real world right now, businesses are far more likely to want to invest their dollars in NOW talent, than take a chance on youth. Amazing how a bad attitude has crushed his reputation so fast.

Reiss had a good game the other night, but might still want to land more guaranteed minutes. Lacazette is clearly a favourite of Arteta, but we can’t be getting into contract issues again, if a club comes knocking, I think he’ll be asked to go.

Arteta dropped a press conference that was a little light on anything particularly interesting. Liverpool twice in 4 days is going to be tough. We’re going to prepare as well as we can. Outside that, it was mostly saying he wouldn’t comment on the players at other clubs.

It’ll be very interesting to see how quick the mood turns if we’re beaten by the best team in the world. It’s weird how people don’t seem to expect that now. A nice turn of events, but there is every chance we’ll have a rough time in Anfield. However, if we can escape the Premier League game with a point, that really will be magical. No better time to go to Anfield… zero fans is a help for the team, it’s just a little rough that they are such a good squad of players with solutions for most plans.

So, let’s look forward to an interesting week ahead. GIVE US SOME PLAYERS EDU WE NEED THEM! x