I’ve penned this opening about 68 times.
Advisory? Don’t be daft
Funny? Hmm… could age badly
I don’t know where to go with this.
So I’ll just jump in with some bland news. This summer, there’s no money to work with. So when you’re sitting there suggesting we should bring in superstar names like Thomas Partey, you’re off your damn rocker.
To buy, we’re going to have to sell. I think everyone is acutely aware that there’s not a lot of value in our squad. Contract issues, form problems, or players we just don’t want to lose at this stage are all adding up to an awkward window.
I think we’ll have to accept our lot. There will be some big names moving out this summer, and there will likely be an exit we really don’t like. There’s some hope though if we can sell smart.
- Mikhi – £10m
- Kola – £20m
- Auba – £50m
- Lacazette – £40m
- Matteo – £40m
- Xhaka – £35m
- Hector – £35m (😞)
- Mustafi – £20m
- Sokratis – £8m
- Torreira – £40m
- AMN – £25m
People scoff at prices and I can’t hear it. We sold Alex Iwobi for £40m. Spurs sold Bentaleb for £19m. There’s a lot of money to be had up there… and Raul’s been doing some extremely questionable deals for his super-agent pals, so I fully expect to be reimbursed with some favours that work for Arsenal this summer.
We’re going to have to build from the ground up. We will have to become Dortmund 2.0. We’re going to have to rely on great coaching, unbelievable scouting, and an absolute change of tune when it comes to how our football operatives play the game.
We also have to hope that we’re not going to become a super-agent dumping ground again. One player I hear is almost a dead cert to join us is Willian. The 31-year-old Brazilian’s wife said she wants to stay in London and guess who that suits? Kia J. This is who we are right now and I really don’t like it. The only thing that stops this being a sleepless nights issue is his Arsenal fandom.
Willian is a great player, but Arsenal is a club under huge financial strain and we’re adding more players into the mixer that aren’t in the right age bracket for a business model that absolutely demands we find undervalued gems and flog them for huge amounts of money. We’ve spent 5 years trying and failing with more experienced players that are on the decline. I just don’t see how this sort of move represents a leap forward in thinking, outside keeping Kia happy.
Still, we’re also being linked to 19-year-old Orkun Kokcu. The Turkish creator is talked about as a Mesut Ozil successor. He has more energy than our German, he’s strong, likes to shoot and he’s an athlete. Exactly the sort of talent you hope we’re going to be interested in this window.
You bring in 5 players of his ilk, 3 of them make it, you sell one in 3 seasons time and have your Coutinho moment. What would Willian cost? £200k a week? That’s 4 young players with 2 seasons under their belt. I feel like we keep making the same mistakes over and over with senior players… but what can we do?
Stay safe, be good to your Roomba, treat your pets nicely, and don’t do anything stupid if you’re over 30… like get a TikTok account and start posting because you’re just ‘soooo zany.’ It’s embarrassing. That’s for the kids, not you. Put it away.
See you in the comments where we’ll keep it very much about football again. xx