League WILL see out season

by .

Word up bitches, I just downloaded the Peloton app with a free 90-day trial and I am feeling rich and sexy. I am trying yoga, there is literally nothing sadder in this world than watching an unflexible (is that a word?) mid-twenties guy *cough* dropping a downward dog in his living room… but who cares, I’m a Peloton person now and you are all peasants.

The latest movement from the Premier League coterie of teams appears to lean very heavily on the idea of finishing the league and cups this season. Basically, TV has said, if you don’t, we’ll be coming for that £750m you took from us… or we’ll blow out some knee caps.

I don’t know how the league is going to deliver on this hope anytime soon. Even playing behind closed doors is a huge risk. You’d have to have at least 40 matchday folk at the ground, then you’d still need support staff, and the real kicker… you can’t social distance and play the great game.

Still, I am glad that we’re going to finish the season. FIFA is also working out what they can do for players contracts to make sure we don’t put the whole transfer window out of key.

The huge worry that we’re all chewing on at the moment is horror story that has Auba linked to Liverpool. The Man U ‘link’ can be passed aside, can’t think of many that’d want to go and play under OGS, but Klopp? Damn, there’s a lot to worry about. Auba played under him at Dortmund, Liverpool could do with a striking option to pick up some of the bits Firmino is lacking, and he’d go at a very good price.

I hate that the idea is so correct. This is like Robin Van Persie, but you’d have to be less angry about it. We have an elite player that we’ve let sink in a squad that has no chance of winning the title. Only way he’d sign on right now is if we offered him something we can’t afford.

Let’s get the coin in for him and sign Timo Werner. We could do with a German savage like that upfront. He’d work well in our system, he’s fairly young, and we could pick him off for £45m (I think that’s his clause).

If you have any other striking suggestions, I’d love to hear them in the comments section.

Finally, I’ve turned to gaming. I downloaded FIFA to my Switch and fuck me, I am bad. The graphics give me a headache, there are too many buttons, and I’m losing on amateur mode.

BUT, this being 2020, there is an internet solve for everything. I found this coach online and he’s now my virtual best pal because he sent me some ‘YOU OLD FUCK THIS IS HOW’ videos. Check it out below. So good.

You can find him on Twitter @TheFIFAanalyst.

Johann Djourrou and Alex Song have been SACKED by their club FC Sion for not taking reduced terms. Sounds a bit fucked up to me, you can read more here.

Jaeson Rosenfeld, the StatDNA guy at Arsenal, has taken a job at FIFA with the big man, Arsene Wenger. It’s always sad to lose talent that’s valued, but I think Arsenal are moving in a new direction under the Edu leadership. I hear there’s a new software they’re using called KiaSoft 2.0. Finds very good deals for you and your team. So we’ll see where this goes.

Right, I’m off to do some Yoga followed by some meditation, you’d not understand, it’s a Peloton thing.

🎙️Listen to the damn podcast.🎙️

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99 Responses to “League WILL see out season”

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  1. jwl

    I am glad our stats guy has left club, and moved to fifa?, we obviously need fresh approach to data analysis because we have been awful at identifying young unknown talent.

    Arsenal still have stats unit, we bought our own boutique company, we just need new approach. I am glad Rosenfeld is gone because he hasn’t been very useful the past five or six years, bring in some fresh blood, a young experienced person looking to make a name for themself in big leagues.

  2. jwl

    I thought peloton was a stationary bicycle, don’t you need more than an app Pedro?

    I work from home, hate going to gym, and about five years ago I started doing core exercises which are easy to do at home. Tried yoga and pilates a few times but they are too mellow for me, core exercises are good balance between serene yoga and lifting weights at gym with steroid freaks.

  3. InsideRight

    KiaSoft 2.0 LOLOLOLOL. Nice one Peds.

    Seems the club are also looking at JooraStatX, but it doesn’t cover the top 20% of players…

  4. Wasi

    Kiasoft.

    🤣🤣 LOL. Nice.

    Hear they also bought a temporary membership of
    the premium and expensive Powermendes++ last summer.

  5. Pedro

    JWL, they have so much good stuff on the app. Yoga, meditation, strength stuff on the matt… it’s really good. Well worth a go! Only 12.99 a month after.

    Hopefully, I’m as lean Auba after this.

  6. Marc

    “I thought peloton was a stationary bicycle, don’t you need more than an app Pedro? ”

    His Mum and Dad have bought him the App this year he’ll start getting parts of the bike next year!

  7. Marc

    Un

    I’ve never herd of petrol pumps being a source of transmission for any sort of virus but cash is known to be a great spreader of things.

    Might be an idea to get people to go as cashless as possible – should be pretty easy with the way lots operate.

  8. Marc

    Can’t see how the PL get’s played out unless we’re talking about 6 – 9 months time. As Pedro alluded to a few days ago it could line up the European leagues for a Summer Season.

    I’ve got to say I’d really miss getting soaking wet and freezing my arse of for a few hours 3 months of the year!

  9. Marc

    Un

    I’ve never had much of a conversation with one so I couldn’t comment – I’m like wham bam filled you up and I’m out of here!

  10. Marc

    Un

    There was a bit in the press conference earlier where Boris mentioned that places told to close will still be able to do take aways. Sounds like the guy’s at your Deli are making the most of a shit situation.

  11. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    Look small corner shops can still trade, they are a god send to some.
    Always stocked always polite and helpful…and most sell beer.

  12. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    Small corner shops are staying open..
    Only other stores like cloth shops charity shops shut.
    Fast food staying open for… takeaway,

  13. Marc

    RSPC

    I did 2 Supermarkets in the week – almost stripped bear. Local place and the corner shop got all sorts.

    Local shopping right now is the way to go.

  14. HillWood

    Local shops will soon run out as they are not being supplied by their whole saler
    Don’t forget we are only a few days into this shit guys
    Dark days ahead

  15. Marc

    Hillwood

    Mine is taking deliveries for fruit, veg and other bits from local producers.

    On other items the wholesalers are supplying but they haven’t been able to keep up with panic buying – as the rules limiting buying only so many of a single item kick in stock levels will revert to a more normal level this will then calm the desire to stock pile.

  16. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    In

    That’s right, maybe like Xmas they lift the congestion charge and maybe relax parking meters…
    But councils ain’t like government jumped up pen pushers who have been builled all there life…

  17. Marc

    Un

    There’s an online butcher’s called Farminsons – I’ve only used them once but the meat quality is really good – it’s not cheap but there are items that aren’t silly expensive. I ordered some Bavette steaks from them and they were really nice, not to everyone’s taste but the quality was good.

    I’m getting emails from them re deliveries are non contact and they have no issue keeping up with demand.

    Go on spoil the missus – if she’s going to have to put up with you 24/7 she deserves it!

  18. HillWood

    Un
    The population was made of sterner stuff back then
    And we weren’t fighting a microscopic virus
    Let’s hope a couple of packs of Rich Tea biscuits is the answer

  19. Marc

    Un

    I’m guessing it means critical workers can drive into Central London and avoid the tube etc.

    Did you see the shots of London on Sky News earlier shown around 5.30 – 6pm?

  20. Marc

    Hillwood

    Humans have been facing virus’s since we first appeared 200,000 odd years ago.

    The Black Death wiped out a third of Europe’s population, we survived. We’ve survived Small Pox, Cholera, various forms of the plague, Ebola and countless other outbreaks.

    Difference is we didn’t have modern medicine and technology during those.

  21. RockyRoe

    Read that pl clubs would have to give back close to 800 million to broadcasters if the season is not finished. No one can afford that, so they will have to find a way.

  22. China1

    Stay safe grovers

    I’m glad that pubs are finally closing. Seeing the news of people staying home all day to avoid the virus then packing themselves tightly into pubs at night was such a frustrating sight

    Though Outside of the terrible health, social, economic cost, I do get it that taking away a person’s right to go to their local and get hammered on unlabeled scrumpy is an absolute shitter. Every time I come back to the UK drinking is one of my absolute favourite pass times as I love our drinking culture

  23. China1

    I think the panic buying you guys are seeing now will subside soon because the governments and shops will get a handle on it and also the UK will fall into a rhythm of how this works

    Youot are still in the first few days of this and so it’s not so surprising that the country is still coming to terms with what’s going on. Everyone will fall into a routine by the middle of next week as people clock that it’s not necessary to go shopping like crazy and the hysteria will make way for a more accepting calmness. Here during the peak of the trouble I went to a supermarket roughly every 4 days which was fine

  24. Mr Serge

    Thanks China we will try. It’s scary in London at the moment.its like 28 days later it’s so quiet.
    I can’t believe how some people I know think 5 g is to blame I mean wtf, people have gone mad the panic buying is also ridiculous someone needs to stop them doing it now.

  25. China1

    Btw I wonder if anyone on here can confirm something for me lol

    Last night I was shocked to find a pack of mcvities little digestive biscuit balls covered in chocolate at my local German supermarket which I picked up with a bottle of glen moray (quite pleasant!) as I wanted a taste of home

    But on the packaging I noticed it described it as ‘chocolate ball’ without an ‘s’ even though there are of course loads of those chocolate balls and there was enough typo with the ‘D’ in dark chocolate being upper case for no reason

    I assume with two typos on the front of a BRITISH brand, that bag of mcvities was indeed fake. If anyone sees those in a store do me a favor and have a check lol as I’m curious

    If they were fake tho, they were damn nice haha

  26. China1

    Yeah Mr Serge, take all available precautions, keep calm and carry on and fingers crossed for you and your family everyone will be fine

    Panic will not help, but a sharp awareness of the risks and all available caution will.

    I believe within this dark period people learn a lot about themselves because everyone in the country is put out of their comfort zone.

    For me I took up painting, (finally) taught myself how to cook food fit for human consumption, became a calmer and more attentive dad and for the first time in 6 years I started video calling my mum daily instead of fortnightly like before. I also wrote another poem for my book inspired by the heart wrenching stories here of when thousands of nurses were called up by the government to leave their families and move to the virus epicenter Wuhan to help the cause knowing their chance of infection was huge and they may never come back to their children again

  27. Tony

    Pedro
    Good luck with your fitness fat loss app. Diet control is 75% of a fat loss program with exercise being 25%.

    Eat 5 to 6 small meals a day and keep macronutrients to 40% protein, 40% complex carbs (brown rice whole wheat and multi grains bread + many more) and 20% fat ALA & CLA fats)

    Plan each meal to be around 250 calories.

    When training look to try to burn 500+ calories per exercising session – plenty of calories checkers with iWatch etc.

    Don’t lose more than .6kg per week and then allow for 1 week per kg you lose to consolidate your weight loos during that period only increase your diet to no more than 1500 cals a day if reasonably inactive or 1800 cals a day if active for those weeks.

    An excellent e-book is this one:

    https://www.burnthefatfeedthemuscle.com

    Has a more scientific approach and explanation plus a good forum for all people of all ages.

    Battle ropes and TRX if you if you have the space at home are excellent body conditioners and serious hard work from beginner to elite levels.

    Probably get binned if I shared my Covid-19 thoughts regarding the irresponsible people who obviously feel they are invincible not heeding advice and feel for the NHS workers putting their lives on the line and finding no food to be had after excruciating long shifts saving lives.

    Best to keep my own council on that.

  28. Tony

    Thanks Words excellent talent.

    Oddly enough I had this on YT in my gym as it came on after Banamassa’s Albert Hall gig.

  29. Words on a Blog

    Great tracks Tony – stay safe and don’t let the damn thing come near you.

    Off to sleep after a long musical evening to early morning tour taking in music from Spain, Cap Verde, Gambia, France, the Middle East, classical covers of metal and Europop, before finally finishing off with the trusty Blues!

  30. Tony

    Sleep well Words sounds like a great evening you had.

    I’ve been isolated at home for a couple of weeks now and will stay that way until the worst is over.

    I really enjoy African music and drum patterns after hearing Hugh Masakela

  31. China1

    I don’t think there’s much chance of Auba going to Liverpool

    They don’t need a goal scorer as is. Secondarily he doesn’t suit their system. Thirdly they have firmino who is a club and fan favourite for what he brings to the table in enabling salah and mane with link up that Auba simply isn’t capable of

    They’d be spending 50 odd million on Auba for a player that doesn’t offer much that they are lacking and lacks qualities they already have and depend on

    Also what would they do with firmino? Bench him or need to switch to two up front? How do they then manage salah and mane etc

    Auba to Liverpool would bring more questions than answers to thy team imo

  32. China1

    I also read an interesting sky sports article a couple of months back which highlighted that since Klopp cane in something like 90% of their signings have been between the ages of 23 and 26 so that they join at the start of their peak, improve for a couple of years, have huge resale value but if the club want to extend contracts they can without fear of the players being past it

    Auba would completely fly in the face of Liverpool’s football and business strategy, as great a goal scorer as he is

  33. Moray

    Agreed. I don’t see Auba fitting in to that Liverpool team. For one he’s not mobile enough. But Klopp does know the player so it’s not impossible.

    If players are properly quarantined then playing out the season is possible – in empty stadiums of course. But it will take a lot of planning and is quite high risk. As has been pointed out, though, there is not really any other way.

  34. China1

    If you lot are big on world music I have some good recommendations for ya

    Yasmin Levy
    Ojos De Brujo
    Rodrigo Y Gabriela

    Enjoy!

  35. China1

    If you want some positivity un nai

    Today is the first time since mid January I’ve gone to a shopping mall and it’s been nice

    I’m having the most bizarre dinner with my wife in a restaurant currently that won’t allow us to sit on the same table due to social distancing

    The two of us who ofc live together are sitting a meter and a half apart on separate tables hahah

    Fucking odd. You lot have weird shit like this to look forward to in about 10 weeks

  36. MGooner

    Cumulative cases of Covid- Combined for Germany, France, Italy and Spain.

    21 Feb – 0.002 (per 10,000 inhabitants)
    21 March – 4.59
    Forecast 21 April – 25.17

    The daily change increases until the 31st March. Then it is forecast to decline.

    But the decline is estimated to lead to a fall in the number of cumulative cases at the start of May.

  37. China1

    Cheers tony.

    I’ve had the privilege of seeing all 3 of those live in Bristol and Yasmin levy twice as I saw her in Barcelona as well!

    I haven’t played much recently. The last thing I recorded was an instrumental concept album about 2 years ago. Trying to expose my little one to more varied music these days tho. He seemed to like opera the other day to my surprise!

    Over the last 8 months or so my creative side has been spent on poetry as I self published a (very) short poetry book on the amazon book store which has been a fun experience

  38. Guns of Hackney

    I’ve been saying for ages we need to shift Auba along and replace him with some younger. If we can get £50-£60m for him, take it. Say thanks and fuck off. Decent but not a great. End of.

    I feel nothing when I watch Auba. He doesn’t raise the pulse at all. Paint watches him dry.

    Werner. 24 according to Wikipedia. Why not. Years left in his tank and Mikel would improve him no end. Buy.

  39. Dissenter

    “West Brom striker Charlie Austin has urged people not to take coronavirus lightly after testing positive. The English 30-year-old suspects he contracted it at the Cheltenham Festival”

    Who’s the genius who let a mass sporting activity continue in the midst of a global pandemic?
    I bet Marc will still defend the decision

  40. Dissenter

    Players may have to agree to take pay cuts so that the club can fulfill its obligations to the supporting staff, the vast majority of wages go to players.
    Football and other sports have had their worlds upturned.

  41. Dissenter

    ‘On-loan Manchester United striker Odion Ighalo, 30, earns £8,000 per goal and £9,000 for every win on top of his £180,000-a-week wages at Old Trafford’

    Just goes to show that the lad made the right move when he moved to China from Watford. He must have been receiving crazy wages there because his united wages were a pay cut.
    Always wondered why players who moved to China from England are looked down upon.

  42. Tony

    Sounds really cool what you’re doing. You’d probably make a decent lyricist if you at that level of writing and knowledge of musicianship.

    Kids are strange in what they like to listen to at a young age. My son liked the 3 tenors when he was younger, but now he’s 11 and been learning guitar for a few years he’s getting into a basic version of Pro tools.

    I have 2 Sonos play 5s playing in the kitchen all the time with my own playlists I make from over 100,000 tracks from early 50s Sam Cook etc to current day. Taken me years to collect but well worth the time involved.

    Right now he’s into DJ Khalid, Halsey and Post Malone and had a massive phase of being into Ed Sheeran who we took him to see in Bangkok last year.

  43. Dissenter

    Tony
    ‘ I have 2 Sonos play 5s playing in the kitchen all the time with my own playlists I make from over 100,000 tracks from early 50s Sam Cook etc to current day. Taken me years to collect but well worth the time involved’

    Really, how big is your kitchen Tony?
    The Sonos 5 is the loudest and deepest of the Sonos collection. I have a Sonos 5 combined with two Sonos one….and it’s too loud in a very large basement man cave.
    Two Sonos 5 will be ear popping even at moderate volumes but then your kitten may be the size is a tennis court.

  44. China1

    Awesome tony the next time ed Sheehan comes to China I’ll try and take the wife as she’s a huge fan and I rate him as well

  45. Words on a Blog

    China,

    Haha love the story about your socially distant dinner date with your wife.

    Thanks for the world music recommendations!
    If you like Yasmin Levy, you might like her:

  46. Tony

    Dissenter
    Ah so you’re a real basement dweller, who would have thought?

    They’re 1st gen and that’s exactly why I got them because even at low volume they sound ok. Kitchen is ‘L’ shaped so that also makes a difference.

    Without wanting to give the wrong impression Sonos for me is background music 3rd tier reproduction level. With me being an unfortunate audiophile – well unfortunate for my wife who thinks the wind-up gramophone is perfectly fine and cannot, for the life of her, understand why it would need changing.

    Music, sound reproduction and Arsenal are my addictions; always have been. The costs of such addictions over 57ish years don’t bear thinking about but I wouldn’t change it.

    Be safe,Dissenter and especially all London Grovers and fellow addicted gooners world wide.

    China Ed was excellent, as is his 3-day Wembley DVD. poor substitute for live but better than CDs.

  47. Nelson

    Dissenter and other Le Grovers in the States. USA is catching up to Spain now. Take care or come to Canada for awhile!

  48. China1

    Thanks words mate but my VPN on my phone is blocked at the moment so I have restricted internet and your YouTube link (I assume it’s that?) shows up as an empty square haha

    If you tell me the name I can search on my chinese music streaming apps tho!

  49. China1

    From Yasmin Levi ‘naci en Alamo’ is an incredible track (even more so if you read up the background/meaning/understand Spanish)

    Locura is another gorgeous track

    She herself is also pretty stunning looking and a great performer. The complete package to see live!

  50. China1

    I’d love to know what the instrument is soloing during the outtro in Yasmin levy’s song Locura.

    Sounds quite flute/pan pipes like but I’m not totally sure. Tony can you or any other world music heads tell me what that is?

  51. China1

    Oh btw Tony as a self declared audiophile you absolutely must listen to the album Aja by Steely Dan

    That album’s production quality is fucking insane. It’s not only a fabulous album but it’s so brilliantly produced there’s even a 1h our so documentary about the recording of the album somewhere on YouTube I saw once

    Every time I listen to that I hear more that I’ve never noticed before. And the song home at last is so fucking good to boot

  52. Tony

    Bought it when it first was released China always been a big fan of Larry Carlton, Lee Ritenour and Joe Sample.

    I have their whole discography. My father loved them as he played a middle C Sax in a Glenn Miller type band.

    You ever listened to David Sanborn?

    I’ll look into it to see if I can shed any light on that instrument.

  53. Ishola70

    Both good but prefer The Royal Scam to Aja.

    The Fez, Haitian Divorce absolute classics of the Royal Scam album.

  54. Tony

    Ishola
    Interesting choice.

    The talk box or voice box was somewhat popular in the mid 70s most notably by Peter Frampton tracks Do you feel like we do and Show me the way who was brilliantly raw live. Rocky Mountain Way was another by Joe Walsh earlier in 73.

    Sambora revived the talk box in 86 in Livin on a prayer.

    Hard to say which was the best track but probably for me Frampton just pips Dean sparks session guitarist on Haitian Divorce.

    That said all were iconic tracks worth listening to.

  55. NEEG

    Football blog turns into a form of Desert Island Discs. Keep it up chaps – Aja and Frampton both had their turn on my playlist yesterday.