Defensive reinforcements incoming

by & filed under News Review.

Watching the Spurs game. VAR decision goes against them, then they drop a goal with some sloppy defending. Gotta love that.

VAR needs to have the kinks worked out. It takes too long and some of the decisions they’re looking at go against the spirit of the game. Why are football bodies so bad at implementing ideas? Then, why does it take so long for them to pivot?

The tech has to work for the fans in the ground. Getting to the right decision shouldn’t be so difficult. No one was complaining about millimetres, we mostly just too umbrage at obvious decisions, game-killing errors, and cheating.

In other Spurs news… there’s this:

Imagine KNOWING there’s a market for a book about a failed Champions League run.

What are you saying about your target? Imagine it was you?

Male, 20-50, low expectations, doesn’t value time, easily entertained, quite gullible, a loser

Unreal that there’s a book, absolutely unreal.

In Arsenal news, Hector and Kieran T made their U23 returns. The reports coming back are that Tierney is really fucking quick compared to Bellerin… which means he must be very, very quick.

Great to see our two full-backs heading back into the mixer. Look at Tierney’s leg muscles.

SPURS LOSING. Genuinely finding myself quite jealous that we didn’t hire Brendy. He’s a very good manager. Leicester compete. They have a balanced side. The players work for him. He changes things in realtime and it works. The football is attractive.

He’s just a bit of a donut.

Our new hero, Saka, had more to say on Freddie.

“He’s been with me since I was 15 and seen me do amazing things but he always tells me to stay humble and keep working hard because he really thinks I can be a top player,”

“He’s been a player before so he understands how I would feel. He’s played in my position and it’s just so good to have him there, an Arsenal legend giving me advice. There’s not much more I can ask for.”

The Swede really has impacted the kids in quite a way. They all love him. It’s great to see. I wouldn’t be shocked to see him as the Arsenal manager at some point, though I think it’d be a mistake post Emery. We’ll see though, United and Chelsea have made similar moves, though both clubs are struggling to find form.

I think the biggest job Freddie can do this season is keeping the kids grounded. Both sides of that coin as well. He needs to keep the Saka’s of this world focused on their game, avoiding the trappings of ego and money. On the other side, he has to make sure he helps the kids that are struggling. Reiss has bundles of talent, but he looks like he’s in a confidence hole.

Basically the only stat where Emery is winning this season is the amount of kids he’s having to use, I think we’re only bettered by Manchester United. That obviously comes with downsides, inconsistent performances and weakness when times are brutal.

We’re in for a ride this season… our biggest challenger for top 4 is looking like it might be Leicester. They don’t have a better squad, but they certainly have a better team than us.

Huge game against Aston Villa tomorrow. They’re going to have watched what Burnley, Frankfurt and Watford did to us in midfield. They’re going to know the patterns in defence. They are going to press us hard, with McGinn terrorising us like a lunatic from the off.

Emery needs a response. He needs to stabilise the squad. He needs to show the fans he knows what he’s doing.

Finally, I was talking about some of the fancy stats they’re using in football these days. Below is one called packing. It basically tallies the amount of players bypassed with passing for and against. It’s a bit of a weird one, but basically, it correlates quite nicely with winning. Liverpool is a bit of an eyesore in the validation of its usefulness, but it’s not shocking to see what our players are being bypassed more than they are bypassing.

What do YOU think about hipster stats like this? Tell me in the comments. x

P.S. Alex Iwobi on the bench.

P.P.S. Arsenal, 16 years ago today. x

317 Responses to “Defensive reinforcements incoming”

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  1. Tony

    BRAIN TEASERS
    1. Some months have 30 days, some have 31; how many months have 28 days?

    2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

    3. If you had only one match and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a woodburning stove, which would you light first?

    4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?

    5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

    6. Do they have a 4th of July in England?

    7. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the Ark with him?

    8. How far can a dog run into the woods?

    9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.

    10. Is it legal in California for a man to marry his widow’s sister?

    11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?

    12. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

    13. I have in my hand only 2 U.S. coins which total 55 cents in value. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?

    14. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left?

    15. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add ten. What is the answer?

  2. Tony

    ANSWERS:

    1. All 12 have 28 days

    2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.

    3. Light the match first.

    4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

    5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So… half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.

    6. Yes, and a 5th, a 6th, …

    7. I thought Noah brought 2 of each animal, not Moses

    8. Halfway, then he would be running out of the woods.

    9. The time/month/date/year of an American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.

    10. No. You can’t marry someone if you’re dead!

    11. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

    12. The temperature.

    13. A half-dollar and a nickel. (Only one was not a nickel)

    14. 9 sheep

    15. 70

  3. Tony

    A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the
    venison for supper.

    He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is – so he does not tell them.

    His little boy keeps asking him, “What’s for supper?” “You’ll see”, says his dad. They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they’re eating.

    “Ok,” says her dad, “here’s a hint, it’s what your mother sometimes calls me.”

    “We’re eating asshole!!”, she screams.

  4. Tony

    A pregnant woman with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician’s
    office.

    After the exam, she shyly said, “My husband wants me to ask you…”,
    to which the doctor replies “I know…I know…” placing a reassuring hand
    on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time.

    Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.” “No, that’s not it,” the woman confessed.

    “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”

  5. Tony

    Your girlfriend is ugly when…

    (1) She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.

    (2) As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.

    (3) Even mosquitoes stay away from her.

    (4) She startles the animals at the zoo.

    (5) On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

    (6) She makes onions cry.

    (7) Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.

    (8) Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

    (9) The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.

    (10) When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.

  6. Tony

    And finally as a few liked the builders’ real insurance complaints from last week.

    It’s a long one but some funny gems in there.

    The funniest Insurance Claims and Quotes (genuine scenarios, incorporated into a comic act by Jasper Carrott)

    A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car.

    A lamp-post bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car

    A truck backed through my windscreen into my wife’s face.

    Accidents with other vehicles.

    After the accident a working gentleman offered to be a witness in my favour.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.

    Car had to turn sharper than was necessary owing to an invisible lorry.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven’t got.

    Cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.

    First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.

    Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus.

    The bus was 5 minutes early.

    I am responsible for the accident as I was miles away at the time.

    I am sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

    I blew my horn but it would not work as it was stolen.

    I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.

    I bumped into a shop window and sustained injuries to my wife.

    I can’t give details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at the time.

    I collided with a stationary tramcar coming the other way.

    I collided with a stationary tree.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

    I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either were to blame it was the other one.

    I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.

    I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind.

    I heard a horn blow and was struck violently in the back. Evidently a lady was trying to pass me.

    I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

    I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.

    I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.

    I left my Austin Seven outside and when I came out later to my amazement there was an Austin Twelve.

    I left my car unattended for a minute, and whether by accident or design it ran away.

    I misjudged a lady crossing the street.

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

    I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog & smothered it with a blanket.

    I remember nothing after missing the Crown Hotel until I came to and saw PC Brown

    I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. (Pierre in my dreams)

    I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

    I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

    I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.

    I told the other idiot what he was and went on.

    I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull.

    I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

    I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

    I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker.

    I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

    I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident happened.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

    I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

    Ice on the road applied brakes causing skid.

    If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.

    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?

    My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

    My car was stolen and I set up a human cry, but it has not been recovered.

    No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

    No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.

    On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

    On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn’t give way.

    Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
    A: Travelled by bus?

    She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.

    The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.

    The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

    The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

    ( This is one of my favourites )
    The bloke was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
    The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again
    The car in front stopped suddenly and I crashed gently into his luggage grid.
    The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
    The other man altered his mind so I had to run into him.
    The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.
    The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
    The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
    The telephone pole was approaching and I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end of my car.
    The water in my radiator accidentally froze at 12 midnight.
    There was no damage done to the car, as the gate post will testify.
    There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.
    Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.
    To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.
    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
    We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car when Miss X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies’ loo.
    When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

  7. Freddie Ljungberg

    Dream10

    Would be incredibly stupid to add another layer to all the work we already have to do with the squad, only reason I can see that happening is if Auba doesn’t sign a new contract.

    We have Eddie, John Jules and Balogun all a couple of years away from stepping up properly where we can see what their true level is as seniors, would much rather wait and see if one or even 2 of them can become starters for us in the future.

    Next 2 windows should be all about the midfield and defence.

  8. Un na naai

    Tony

    Back on the whiskey again? I’d give it a rest if I were you. You’re being quite disingenuous.

    Why don’t you apply your superior maths skills to wenger and Graham over their whole careers?
    See what you come back with. One league cup at the yids (who wenger would never join by the way) doesn’t reflect well on your super coach.

    Wenger won titles in two countries and really the only time in his career that he wasn’t winning trophies it was to help the club take a financial step up.
    You know full well which is why you chose to use this period and put it into your little calculator.

    At the end of the day, people will always talk about Wenger’s 04 team as the greatest side of all time along with fergie’s 99 and perhaps now pep’s city. Perhaps

    George Graham was great. But he’s a rung down from wenger. No silly cup winners cup will change that.
    It’s funny how we look down on the Europa now
    The cup winners cup was a step down from the uefa. You thinkTHAT compares to 2 doubles and a season unbeaten?

    Only jens Lehman being sent off and Henry choking prevented a clean sweep.

    Now go and sober up. Get your head down.

  9. Gentlebris

    You have absolutely no reason to bench Saka today, the lad needs soft home games like this to build high gear momentum.

    Bukayo if given chance would do everything a prime Alexis did and more.

  10. Sid

    Tierney and saka on the left is the stuff that produces mansauce, in the summer arsenal should sell Haka & get a beast, the youngsters dozi and willock could include Torr lack physical strength but it will improve with age.

  11. PieAFC

    Hahahaha.

    Laugh or cry. We’re fucking disgraceful.
    Making a challenge like that on a yellow.

    We’re useless.

    Timid and boring. We’re a joke.

  12. N5

    How are we chasing a game against such a dire team!! Villa have been incredibly average and if they had anyone who could consistently score we’d be 5 down.