Our first Saturday match of the season has landed and it feels good. Enjoy it, they’re going to be few and far between.
So what’s new?
Ozil has been ‘sick’ again, lolz, there are people that have eaten directly from a nuclear reactor with stronger immune strength than him.
Arsenal ditched the captain’s notes. Xhaka is the ‘Voice from the dressing room’ in the matchday programme… it’s like Arsenal is in its early twenties at a fancy University, we’ve just met an older student that’s running side classes in wokeness called Kale-isthenics, and we’ve just learned that the captain’s armband is actually social construct and is basically a form of oppression.
Emery hates it. He can’t wait to tell the captains of other clubs that they’re contributing a vicious cycle of captain-archy that’s directly contributing the anxiety of naturally weak people.
Good for Unai, but I can’t help but think a team that really lacked leadership when the chips were down last season should perhaps be making one person accountable for being the go-to for dishing out meaty bollockings.
Checklist for the captain:
- Make sure they’re not injured
- Make sure they’re going to play the majority of games
- Make sure the fans and players like them
- Make sure they are good at football
- Make sure they can battle knife crime with their BARE HANDS
Probably going to be Xhaka… guy can handle the spare key though, so who am I to sniff?
Burnley at home shouldn’t be a problem, but if we play like we did against Newcastle it might be.
They’re capable of putting the wind up us and they have some speed in their ranks… Ashley Barnes can be a bother at times and I hate playing shit-kickers with an unsettled starting 11.
Our defence put on a great show against Newcastle, our full-backs played with more discipline, which looked like a tactical decision based on ability. It’ll be interesting to see whether that holds up tomorrow. I’m also waiting to see how Emery treats Chambers now David Luiz has been with us a couple of weeks. We are one week from Liverpool, Luiz making his debut against them is a scary proposition… so is Chambers starting against Firmino, Mane or the ruthless Origi.
We need a big performance, lots of energy, lots of chances and a bit of a statement.
OVER TO YOU UNAI!