Captain quandary + Guess who is sick?

by & filed under News Review.

via @Arsenal.com

Our first Saturday match of the season has landed and it feels good. Enjoy it, they’re going to be few and far between.

So what’s new?

Ozil has been ‘sick’ again, lolz, there are people that have eaten directly from a nuclear reactor with stronger immune strength than him.

Arsenal ditched the captain’s notes. Xhaka is the ‘Voice from the dressing room’ in the matchday programme… it’s like Arsenal is in its early twenties at a fancy University, we’ve just met an older student that’s running side classes in wokeness called Kale-isthenics, and we’ve just learned that the captain’s armband is actually social construct and is basically a form of oppression.

Emery hates it. He can’t wait to tell the captains of other clubs that they’re contributing a vicious cycle of captain-archy that’s directly contributing the anxiety of naturally weak people.

Good for Unai, but I can’t help but think a team that really lacked leadership when the chips were down last season should perhaps be making one person accountable for being the go-to for dishing out meaty bollockings.

Checklist for the captain:

  • Make sure they’re not injured
  • Make sure they’re going to play the majority of games
  • Make sure the fans and players like them
  • Make sure they are good at football
  • Make sure they can battle knife crime with their BARE HANDS

Probably going to be Xhaka… guy can handle the spare key though, so who am I to sniff?

Burnley at home shouldn’t be a problem, but if we play like we did against Newcastle it might be.

They’re capable of putting the wind up us and they have some speed in their ranks… Ashley Barnes can be a bother at times and I hate playing shit-kickers with an unsettled starting 11.

Our defence put on a great show against Newcastle, our full-backs played with more discipline, which looked like a tactical decision based on ability. It’ll be interesting to see whether that holds up tomorrow. I’m also waiting to see how Emery treats Chambers now David Luiz has been with us a couple of weeks. We are one week from Liverpool, Luiz making his debut against them is a scary proposition… so is Chambers starting against Firmino, Mane or the ruthless Origi.

We need a big performance, lots of energy, lots of chances and a bit of a statement.

OVER TO YOU UNAI!

x

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721 Responses to “Captain quandary + Guess who is sick?”

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  1. Ishola70

    coming up to 60.

    would be looking for kola or martinelli as a threat on the left. laca coming off and Auba going through the middle.

  2. Dissenter

    Ceballos is such a scrapper
    Why didn’t we get a clause on that contract?

    Mission for next summer; GET CEBALLOS

  3. S Asoa

    Ceballos is all the difference. Improved better players. Closest to CESC. Pity he will move away next year
    Without him Arsenal is chalk

  4. Dissenter

    I can just see Chelsea flush from a summer without spending, coming in 7th in the league trying to outbid us for Ceballos.
    A verbal assurance from Madrid is worth as much as moldy bread.

  5. gazzap

    Im sort of thinking I’d like to see next week Chambers and Luiz. Perhaps Sokratis is our problem. I’m not sure.

  6. vickingz

    Why kola again? Tis is how he spoils show, just complicating simple issues. We are going for d kill already, aren’t we?

  7. WengerEagle

    He’s still a little flappy TR7 but he has improved that aspect of his game alright.

    Haha rap, who said that shite about Ceballos? Definitely wasn’t myself ;

  8. Northbanker

    Agree that we need to pair Chambers and Luiz
    Sok – Having a 3 foot CB with no real positioning sense is no use to us

  9. Dissenter

    We need to find a better way of playing from the back.
    It’s too stale and predictable, Burnley sussed it out too easily.

  10. Siddharth14

    HighburyLegendAugust 17, 2019 13:31:17
    “I hate to say this but even under Wenger we weren’t this bad defensively”vs Liverpool, vs Manure, vs the Chavs, vs Bayern Munich, etc,etc,etc…
    You know what I mean, jokehead
    ——–

    It would have been much better to ignore an opinion then make such petulant comment. But it’s a wider malaise on le grove so no surprises there…..

  11. gazzap

    Yeah I think Willock has done well. He looks good enough to be at this level to me. Just needs to get a bit more ruthless I would say. but he is comfortable in tight spaces.

  12. Paulinho

    Guendouzi and Willock are wank. All of are youngsters bar possibly ESR are.

    Ceballos head and shoulders above everyone. He drew the press in the first half which made Guendouzi and Willock look half-respectable because they then had acres of space to run into.

  13. Pierre

    Tony
    “Hardly trolling Pierre you should reread your Ceballlos comments since he joined us”

    My Ceballos comment from yesterday ,just one of many positive comments I’ve made about him.

    “Hopefully he proves to be a class player , I like him, technically very good , keeps possession of the football and looks like a team player .”

    Gove up on the trolling mate ..you’re not very good at it..

  14. Paulinho

    Ceballos showing he doesn’t have to be a great dribbler, something certain people seemed obsessed.

    Simply evading a press and holding onto the ball can be more important in deeper areas.

  15. WengerEagle

    You know a proper midfielder when it’s like the game is played in slow motion as they’re on the ball, always have time to make a decision.

    Ceballos has that quality to his game.

  16. vickingz

    Guendouzi and Willock are wank. All of are youngsters bar possibly ESR are.

    Dunno what match you are watching. Willock is proving to be up there with our established players

  17. Paulinho

    TR7 – I know his role is different.

    Just think he’s incredibly average overall. Smooth in the 1st phase but can’t do anything beyond that, and a joke defensively.

  18. gazzap

    Seriously how the fuck is that a free kick to Burnley? so their player runs into Luiz and falls over and gets a free kick. Fucking dean. Leno awesome

  19. Globalgunner

    All Burnley want to do is get free kicks from 10m out and load it into the box. All we want to do is oblige them. Go 2 up and these shit dispensers will give up. But when do we ever go 2 goals up in a game

  20. Dream10

    Paulinho

    Would like to see Ceballos play #8. Being able to evade the press/tackle and get us into the final third.

    Torreira the odd man out of the CM rotation early on.

  21. WengerEagle

    I’m sorry but Guen’s been shite.

    He’s literally contributed nothing defensively other than getting bested on every aerial battle and he’s another one of these smooth crab players, no penetration his game whatsoever going forward.

  22. Dissenter

    There aren;’t that many positives from this game to be honest
    We haven’t played well.

    Besides Ceballos …cna’t think of too much to be ecstatic about.

    Hope we get the win

  23. Northbanker

    Mike Dean has now not booked 2 Burnley players and yet books Auba for a soft moment

    Really pissses me off

  24. Paulinho

    Dream- It looked like a played deep in the first half. Almost like a false 10.

    Him and Torreira deep would be a good experiment.

  25. TR7

    Paulinho, I think his job is to be smoooth in his half and still be a supporting body in opposition half when an opportunity arises. He has done his part well in 2 games this season. I don’t expect him to make defense splitting passes or beat his marker in the opposition half. Defensively he needs to improve and perhaps that’s the only area where he needs to get better.

  26. Radio Raheem

    Sokratis always committing dumb fouls. I hope Holding returns in good form

    Pepe’s pass to Aubameyang was short.