Captain quandary + Guess who is sick?

by .


Our first Saturday match of the season has landed and it feels good. Enjoy it, they’re going to be few and far between.

So what’s new?

Ozil has been ‘sick’ again, lolz, there are people that have eaten directly from a nuclear reactor with stronger immune strength than him.

Arsenal ditched the captain’s notes. Xhaka is the ‘Voice from the dressing room’ in the matchday programme… it’s like Arsenal is in its early twenties at a fancy University, we’ve just met an older student that’s running side classes in wokeness called Kale-isthenics, and we’ve just learned that the captain’s armband is actually social construct and is basically a form of oppression.

Emery hates it. He can’t wait to tell the captains of other clubs that they’re contributing a vicious cycle of captain-archy that’s directly contributing the anxiety of naturally weak people.

Good for Unai, but I can’t help but think a team that really lacked leadership when the chips were down last season should perhaps be making one person accountable for being the go-to for dishing out meaty bollockings.

Checklist for the captain:

  • Make sure they’re not injured
  • Make sure they’re going to play the majority of games
  • Make sure the fans and players like them
  • Make sure they are good at football
  • Make sure they can battle knife crime with their BARE HANDS

Probably going to be Xhaka… guy can handle the spare key though, so who am I to sniff?

Burnley at home shouldn’t be a problem, but if we play like we did against Newcastle it might be.

They’re capable of putting the wind up us and they have some speed in their ranks… Ashley Barnes can be a bother at times and I hate playing shit-kickers with an unsettled starting 11.

Our defence put on a great show against Newcastle, our full-backs played with more discipline, which looked like a tactical decision based on ability. It’ll be interesting to see whether that holds up tomorrow. I’m also waiting to see how Emery treats Chambers now David Luiz has been with us a couple of weeks. We are one week from Liverpool, Luiz making his debut against them is a scary proposition… so is Chambers starting against Firmino, Mane or the ruthless Origi.

We need a big performance, lots of energy, lots of chances and a bit of a statement.



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721 Responses to “Captain quandary + Guess who is sick?”

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  1. TR7

    Getting really excited about this team. Leno looks all set to be a world class GK, AMN has great potential, Ceballos is the kind of player we have missed in our team since Santi left and we have two goalscorers in Laca and Auba. If Pepe and Tierney turn out to be good and Bellerin and Holding come back strongly, we can do a lot better this season than the last.

  2. TT

    Its a win win for me. We win the game we get the points draw or lose emry is one step closer to the door. They way we are loosing the 1 on 1 balls and generally screwing up in defense is all on the manager, not to mention his Wengeresqe approach to the captains role.

  3. Dissenter

    We may regret not insisting on a buying clause for Ceballos
    All we are giving him now is just a prime position on the shop window to start a bidding war in the summer.
    It will be a shame if we are just grooming him for Chelsea lol.

  4. Dissenter

    Very well but Zidane does not want him, wants players like Pogba instead.
    The buying clause doesn’t mean we force him to stay, right. It just gives us a leg up should they insist on selling tom to fund another Pogba run.

  5. Elmo

    Guendouzi has to learn to be able to compete in the air or he simply won’t be able to have a career in the PL.

    He is losing every single jump ball without even being able to put off his opponent.

  6. Cesc Appeal

    Very, very fortunate.

    Stemmed again from Nelson being so fucking tame in attack. Pathetic effort and Burnely came away easily.

    Take him off at half time

  7. Champagne charlie

    Ceballos with the flicks and turns to get some rubbing themselves, then sent for a hot dog and we concede.

  8. Champagne charlie

    Their goal was lucky, a deflected shot that spun through the only gap available.

    Nelson lost the ball with a powder puff attack, and Ceballos was pathetic and gave the guy 5 yards to strike it.

  9. Cesc Appeal

    Quite harsh, but that’s football. Usual switch off costs us but Burnley got lucky with the deflection as well.

    Dani Ceballos was absolutely brilliant. Everything we’ve been missing in central midfield.

    I thought Guendouzi was good as well.

    Nelson seems far too tame for this level of football. Looks terrified on the pitch.

    I really like Willock’s ball carrying ability.

  10. Radio Raheem

    Ceballos beat player this half, closely followed by Guendouzi. We need to link play better between midfield and attack. Might be worth pushing Ceballos further forward.

  11. Elmo

    We’ve got to get our act together defensively, and start asserting some control on MF, otherwise there’s no reason we won’t lose this. Burnley have had the ball bouncing around near the 6 yard box on many occasions.

  12. Cesc Appeal


    I agree.

    I think I’d bring Martinelli on for Aubameyang toward the end to provide some pace and work rate for the last 10 minutes.

  13. Dissenter

    It was a deflection that caught the fence out. David Luis was slow in getting out, kept Barnes onside.

    We didn’t control the game in the middle and it’s shame that a route one team is outplaying us at home.

  14. China1

    Ceballos putting in the most exciting CM first half we’ve seen since cesc left

    What a talent and his contribution has been relentless and in both attack and defense. We’ve sat through the dreariest of dreary ozil performances for years now and keep being told AMs shouldn’t need to be chasing back and helping out

    Ceballos comes in for 45 mins and contributes more than ozil did all last season.

  15. Ishola70

    Just a few things to note that half.

    Ceballos isn’t going to go down too well with the traditional Wengerites on here. He isn’t a silky player. He’s more of a scrapper that has some good attributes.

    Laca has been completely invisible after his scored his goal.

    No need for Xhaka in the side when Luiz is capable of passing from all ranges at CB.

    Monreal lively again after his good previous game at Newcastle.

  16. Northbanker

    Loving Ceballos – we’re going to need to save our pennies to buy him and ironically we’re making him more expensively

  17. Gunnernet

    Let passion aside willock and nelson our most inefficient players going forward and lrone to errors at the back. Luiz has helped a lot at the back, he is really taking over. it is our midfielders that have to step up to relieve the pressure. Ceballos quite sparkling guen, nelson and willock the problem

  18. LegendMax

    Definitely Pepe for nelson….nelson needs to up his game if he wants to stay a 1st team regular….there’s something there tho. He needs to bring it out

  19. Micheal

    Do we ever practice defensive training techniques like marking ? Every game is the same and all teams know our weaknesses.

  20. Cesc Appeal


    I think that a midfield 3 of Guendouzi, Torreira, Dani Ceballos is certainly worth a go. That might actually be what I’d go with at Anfield.

    This is why as well for all the people saying Nelson should start at Anfield I just thought no way. If he’s shitting himself at home to Burnley what’s he going to be like there?

  21. Radio Raheem

    Nelson reminds me of how Gnabry use to play when given a chance. We might need to be very patient for him to come through.

  22. bob

    home grown pair of Nelson and willcock are shit. maitland niles should be playing in the championship or lower then that.

  23. Dissenter

    Wenger eagle
    You’re unfair on Willocks though.
    19 year players typically can’t control the game. He is still in the early formative phases.

  24. China1

    Willock has a bit to learn but he also is a bit special in our squad because no one else has similar attributes imo. We’ll see what emery does in the second half

    Nelson off for Pépé please

  25. Siddharth14

    It seems the defensive frailties are going to be the downfall of Emery. I just cannot get the fact around my head that Burnley look threatening every time they get the ball forward.

    Our midfield and defence is totally disconnected. I hate to say this but even under Wenger we weren’t this bad defensively. Luiz must be wondering what the hell he is doing in there….

    Burnley have to fancy themselves in the second half. The best outcome for us would be a point.

  26. Pierre

    Ceballos is the way he plays the game.

    Definitely playing better football with him in the side , he and willock a good combination.

  27. China1

    The only way we’re buying Ceballos is if real waste their money on Pogba.

    Here’s to hoping. The guy is quality.

    We haven’t had many players who can get fans off their seats over recent years but he has that

  28. WengerEagle


    With you on Nelson, absolutely no way he should be playing at Anfield, or Willock for that matter.

    Yeah front 3 picks itself as far as I’m concerned for Liverpool, hope Emery doesn’t bottle it and bench Pepe again.

    As for the CM, without trying to take the piss I’d be tempted to opt for Luiz as the CDM. He’s played there to great effect for Chelsea in past seasons in big matches.

    Toreirra and Ceballos in front of him. Good balance of pressers and passers in there, Ceballos being the link to the attack along with our full-backs would be the hope.

    I think that Guen would get eaten alive tbh with you and don’t want Xhaka anywhere near the XI at Anfield.

  29. Nelson

    Replay showed that the ball reflected through PapaSok. Guen let Barnes moved free and scored. Any experienced defender would stayed with the man.

  30. raptora

    WE: “People really do forget quickly how ridiculous Santi was for us in his debut season here playing as the 10.”

    Said he is extremely underrated player even by Arsenal fans. He got called “a good player” 2 mins later.

  31. Elmo

    How about Luiz moves into MF for Guendouzi, and Chambers in at CB. Adds an extra competent aerial player, as that is where the game is being lost.

  32. HighburyLegend

    “I hate to say this but even under Wenger we weren’t this bad defensively”

    vs Liverpool, vs Manure, vs the Chavs, vs Bayern Munich, etc,etc,etc…
    You know what I mean, jokehead.

  33. WengerEagle


    I’m not looking for him to control the game but he’s had no influence on it whatsoever and that’s unforgivable for a CM no matter how young.

    Cesc was dominating Europe’s best at that age for perspective.

  34. Ishola70

    “.If he was a yard or two quicker he’d be some player.”

    Yeah Ceballos not the quickest.

    At least he isn’t a typically Arsene Wenger soft player though.

    Boy is a scrapper.

  35. bob

    no mustafi,xhaka,ozil ? so who you going to blame now?? maitland niles is the biggest waste to play for this club.

  36. Champagne charlie

    “Ceballos putting in the most exciting CM first half we’ve seen since cesc left“

    Jesus Christ… You not watch us when Santi was here?

  37. Dissenter

    Pepe has to be effing bold. he needs a good start because the English tabloids love to tag new expensive imports with “flop” too quickly.

  38. WengerEagle

    We’ve never had fullbacks that could cross, Sagna and Clichy were awful at it too.

    Funny enough Eboue was our best fullback for that, couldn’t defend for toffee though.

  39. Pierre

    “Pierre will be very upset Ceballos playing well”

    What was you saying about trolling earlier.
    Let me remind you.

    “Pedro..If you feel posters should restrain themselves when posters are being trolled, then isn’t it your responsibility to bin trolls and those writing insane comments?”

    Practice what you preach Tony ..

  40. raptora

    Funny how from Andre Santos we went to Kolasinac who isn’t all that different of a LB. Both can’t defend for their lives but are good going forward.

  41. Cesc Appeal



    At least we have some options now.

    I really cannot wait until we have fullbacks. That will step things up for us.

  42. vickingz

    Just hoping the switch on sok and luiz heads doesn’t switch on again. sok always advancing, is he a striker now or what?

  43. Dissenter

    Auba is bit out of sorts, needs to get his touches right. He’s showing too much of the ball to defenders.