Business travel is all about projects, to yourself, the true person you want to be.
I downloaded 10 episodes worth of Ken Burns documentaries, packed a Christopher Hitchens memoir, a notebook with a mechanical pencil for jotting down semi-important musings, and I carried my laptop so I could catch up with admin.
You know what I achieved in 2.5 hours on a packed plane? 5 Stroopwafels, 2 bags of Cheetos, 1 Nesquik milkshake, 3 episodes of Rick and Morty, all whilst tearing through a gossip magazine that totally gave me the inside scoop on Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s ILLICIT courtship.
Such a sobering experience. I’m like that Chanel guy when he realised he wasn’t going to be who the people wanted him to be.
However, at least I wasn’t sitting on the internet like a transfer pervert like most of you lot were. You are fucking embarrassing, grown men, hoovering up content like it was the last line at a festival before the Klaxons arrive.
UPEMECANO PEOPLE.
I was literally on a podcast with Dan the day before pontificating on why we’d bother with Umtiti when players like the Leipzig man and Lewis Dunk would represent better value and lower risk.
Rumour has it we’re in for him for €60, but they want more… obviously.
This player is exactly what we need. He’s built like Sol Campbell. He’s a towering figure. He has everything we want, most notably, fitness. He’d be a great partner for Sokratis this season, and by the time he’s adapted to the league, we’d be bringing Saliba to town.
Wow, wow, wow… we’d have two of the best young centre backs in France powering our backline for ten years. Saliba is 19, Upemacano is 20… that would be unreal business.
I’m so excited at the prospect I don’t know what to do.
Every time there’s a problem, Raul and Edu just deal with.
THEY ARE PUTTING ME OUT OF BUSINESS.
The only thing I’ll have left to moan about is Emery… and if that doesn’t work out this season, they simply won’t renew his deal then that’ll be sorted.
At least I’m safe in the knowledge that if it all goes to shit here, I’ll be able to land a cheeky CHIEF FOOTBALL WRITER role at any of the major news publications… amirite?
No. I’m not. An Ebola outbreak isn’t getting me that coveted role at The Daily Star and that’s the brutal truth.
Anyway, not much from me today.
See me in the comments and tell me how you’ll celebrate if we buy Upemecano!
Also, listen to the damn Podcast. No Patreon bullshit here. Just free content on the proviso you do NOT criticise the work.
x
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/9667352/man-utd-arsenal-spurs-huge-transfer-philippe-coutinho/amp
Leftside…… you called it
I am personally not a fan of Arsenal bringing in a number of players on short term loans. It is one thing to bring in one player like Ceballos on this basis, but
I think that recruiting Coutinho as well could be a mistake.
This is from my point of view short term planning with the objective of securing this season a Champions League slot. However, it is highly unlikely that we will buy Coutinho and my concern is that it might destabilise the squad.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-7327725/amp/Transfer-news-Barcelona-spark-scramble-allow-Philippe-Coutinho-leave-loan.html
We ain’t getting coutinho
No way
Papayers jumoed the gun
Liverpool won’t wither. Not sure he’d join United being a Liverpool boy for so long
Sac religious
Maybe spurs are the front runners then
That Julien Laurens is full of shit. Says in one sentence that we ain’t buying Upamecano cause it’s too complicated and in another sentence says we have no money. Which is it? No money or too complicated.
Spurs have some big business lined up over the next couple of days
The only way they are looking at coutinho is if they’ve failed with lo celso
This is from my point of view short term planning with the objective of securing this season a Champions League slot
Wouldn’t that be terrible
This Coutinho stuff is a bit like going to Currys in need of a washing machine (centre back), but getting sidetracked by the LED TVs.
I’m sure it’s all Twitter guff as it is the majority of the time. Sounds positive still regarding Upemecano, and that’s what we truly need.
ES:
Good point. Our overall finances means we are adopting a strategy of recruiting players on the “never never” (e.g. Pepe) or through short term, 1-year loan deals (e.g. Cellabos).
That said, the strategy is working well so far judging by the quality we have recruited. But it delays the inevitable and represents a huge gamble of securing Champions League football this year without splurging billlions like Chelsea and Man City in the past.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/9666308/daniele-rugani-wag-girlfriend-michela-arsenal-premier-league-transfer/amp
Is this mutton with fake tits meant to be some 10/10?? Maaaan. Body like baywatch face like crime watch
This Coutinho stuff is a bit like going to Currys in need of a washing machine (centre back), but getting sidetracked by the LED TVs.
Chris
We’ve all been there though
Upamecano is the deal we have to do, even if we have to give them Smith Rowe on loan for 2 years with no fee, that is the best CB option we could get.
Wolves have apparently offered £30 Million for Rugani and to be honest if that’s the sort of money Juventus want (rumoured to want even more) I would rather spend double that for twice the player.
Test
“I just had one of them.”
You are lucky, Samesong. I’ve not had one in months and now I am daydreaming about them, will have to go to shop and get a bunch.
Did you pass the test, LegendaryDB10?
I just want us to sign avacado (only logical nickname). That would make this summer a 9/10.
If we managed to get him and have other ins and outs it could be a 10. Not feeling rugani myself even tho he’d surely be an upgrade
DB10
What were you testing?
You are lucky, Samesong. I’ve not had one in months and now I am daydreaming about them, will have to go to shop and get a bunch.
Jwl
Hit up soho. £20 a go up there. You’ll get your leg over son. Keep plugging away
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2019/08/06/rb-leipzig-demand-arsenal-include-emile-smith-rowe-bid-sign-dayot-upamecano-10527893/amp/
This could be done in time to nick Coutinho off Spurs’ toes
When is the transfer window closing?
Think Coutinho is off to Spurs…direct Eriksen replacement. Probably means they could not pull off the the deal for Lo Celso
Very thankful they’re not getting Lo Celso. Absolute brilliant player
“Hit up soho. £20 a go up there. ”
Made me laugh, Un na naai. There is rub and tug place just a few doors down from my Stroopwafels store but I don’t think my Mrs. would approve.
This is a vindication of the Gambon theory!
We need black players from France.
But I would have thought they were cheaper 😉
All hail The great Gambon!!!
Finally, we’ve understood that we will not win with White people, they are useless 😉
Made me laugh, Un na naai. There is rub and tug place just a few doors down from my Stroopwafels store but I don’t think my Mrs. would approve.
Jwl
If you’ve been dreaming of one for months and the mrs isn’t providing then when in Rome….
Finally, we’ve understood that we will not win with White people, they are useless 😉
Mgooner
Tosser
Don’t make me own you. What does the M stand for? Mug?
Pedro. If you crack down on me, remember the utter MUG that wrote this
Allow some context though
We need white players from France. But I would have thought they were cheaper 😉All hail The great Gambon!!!Finally, we’ve understood that we will not win with Black people, they are useless 😉
Ozil is being linked with a January move to DC United in the MLS.
That would be great.
CA –
Guess there’s an opening there since Rooney is heading to Derby in Jan.
Who would want to live in DC though? It’s a dump.
Representatives connected to Mezut Ozil are slated to visit D.C. United in the upcoming days apparently
Rooney was on like 60k a week at DC… no way Ozil takes that paycut.
Jamie
I’ve never been.
I suppose most places in the world are okay if you’re a millionaire. I would imagine he will live in a very exclusive part of town.
Also in the US there’s a huge gaming community. Could pack any kind of sport that involves cardio in and just enter gaming ‘sports’.
I wonder if it will be a two year loan with Arsenal covering half his wages?
No way Arsenal accept a loan where we pay £290 000 a week of his wages.
They must be offering more money than £60 000 a week because otherwise it would be completely moot.
I always thought he would end up in China or the MLS, somewhere he can get out of bed and jog around for 20 minutes and still get man of the match.
Mid
As long as they confine them that he will be a superstar in the US.
The only problem is that, well, will he like playing with that dross? (Sorry US guys, but have to honest).
I mean look how he has been playing since Sanchez left. It sometimes looked like he was disgusted with playing with players who can’t put those chances away.
Unless Adidas makes him a healthy … sponsorship bonus or something. MLS just cant pay like other leagues. Zlatan is highest paid and he is on like 130k per week.
‘he was disgusted with playing with players who can’t put those chances away’
Like Aubameyang and Lacazette?
Confine= convince
Look sky and and the sun and the mirror are going to milk this last two days as hard as they can. Until the udders are bloody and puss filled useless nubs.
Best to switch off and wait for Thursday night
They will be dropping story moms on us all. And I actually allowed myself to get swept away for the first time in forever- little frozen Easter egg there….
Well not anymore
Legendary you don’t have to be sorry .. Everyone here knows the MLS is a retirement league and a player development league for US and Mexican youth players.
CA
No, not this last season where he definitively did not play well enough. To be frank he should be ashamed that we ended up with a (joint) golden boot winner yet his assists are the lowest we’ve seen from him so far last season.
I am referring to his earlier days where it sometimes felt like he was feeling in that way.
Who would want to live in DC though? It’s a dump.
Yeah. Dc is a Democrat city
What do you expect? They are all shit holes
Ha, fair point, CA. Best place to take his gaming skills to the next level is the next level.
Mesut out on loan is stupid if we still pay his wages or the bulk of them. Just stupid, I feel this transfer window has shown Raul to be anything but stupid so I don’t see it.
@Unai nai
Your name sounds like Chinese!! Do you look like one?
Anyway, what is your take on Ozil to MLS. Will we win anything with him, as he is neither black, nor white. He is actually brown!!!
@DigitalBob
Getting Ozil off to the MLS will do us a world of good. His presence is toxic and laziness can be contagious – see how he sedated Miki.
Test
The rumours are all over the place, some saying Leipzig want Smith Rowe as part of the deal and now Sky are saying Leipzig won’t accept anything less than his £82 Million release clause fee.
#AFC have submitted a concrete offer for Upamecano but RB Leipzig will not accept anything below the release clause ~€90m and are refusing to negotiate a lower fee deal with the Gunners [@SkySportNewsHD]
Yea! not happening dis one.
Un is right.
Turn off Sky Sports News, don’t read the papers, kick back with a cup of tea, ‘Netflix and chill’ and see what’s happened on Thursday at 5pm
If DC United can afford Shrek’s wages they can afford Özil’s although to make it work we will have to accept Özil going on a free or a very minimal transfer fee. I can actually see Raul sanctioning that as a gigantic snub to Koscielny.
I can even imagine Beckham’s new MLS franchise in Miami trying for him if he was available.
Although if Trump wins again in 2020 , Özil might say no being a devout a Muslim and all…
Interesting speculation in any case.
Mgooner
I do actually
But I’m not. Not even close. Maybe some recsssive heritage there though
Did Eriksen wants out? Why would SPUDS want to replace Eriksen with Coutinho? Coutinho is so expensive and deliver more or less the same.
Can we agree on a couple of ground rules here? 1. Let’s not say this is the greatest transfer window ever until we actually see the players perform in meaningful Premier League and European games. 2. No-one to say a player could be worth an extra number of points to the team. The last famous person to say that was John Terry about Cech so no-one should be following his lead. 3. Can we find just a little balance on Kozzer? He wasn’t a club legend nor was he he liability. He was a very good (and well-paid) defender who… Read more »
My worry is what happens next season. Are we going to blow “shitloads” on our defence next season?
I realky hope so.
Micheal “Our overall finances means we are adopting a strategy of recruiting players on the “never never” (e.g. Pepe) or through short term, 1-year loan deals (e.g. Cellabos). That said, the strategy is working well so far judging by the quality we have recruited.” it’s great thread are spending now , but it’s a Pity we didn’t use that strategy in January…we would all be looking forward to champions league football now. Instead we pleaded poverty and brought in a dud…. Apparently because our wage bill has dropped a little we are now in a position to buy players to… Read more »
One final thing. This has been a far more active and aggressive transfer window from Arsenal than anyone expected but we still lost Ramsey and Aubameyang is now in the ‘red zone’ when it comes to contract renewals. So let’s not get ahead of our skis with talk about Coutinho on loan when we all know it’s not going to happen. The best that can happen is bringing in a CB and LB and somehow offloading Mustafi at least on loan. We’ll still have frustrating players like Xhaka and Mikhi to moan about next season.
Leipzig would be foolish to demand 80m for Upamecano now IF the player wants to leave, and with our transfers so far this window why wouldn’t he?
He’s only got 2 years left of his contract so they’re going to have a disgruntled player on their hands and a lower fee next season. Doubt he’s going to sign a new contract if they price him out of a move he wants.
Could still happen, and he would be a fantastic signing.
it’s great thread are spending now , but it’s a Pity we didn’t use that strategy in January…we would all be looking forward to champions league football now.
You are so full of hot air it’s hilarious Pierre. You and CG are comedy gold on here!
CA Wouldn’t blame Liepzig for slapping such ridiculous amount on the lad personally, he’s potentially going to be something huge and only 20,also seeing absolute cloggers like Maguire go for 80M will further make them reluctant in doing a deal below a frankly ridiculous amount Bid is also coming far too late to have a prolonged negotiation or try convince them in doing a deal,he’s their first choice CB,we’ve spent the majority of the window chasing a crocked Tierney when we should be on the Upamecano case from the go The way i see it,Rugani on loan at best if… Read more »
@Unai nai
You have been unmasked. You are not even a true Chinese, you are a fake one 😉
MGooner- stop it, Mhki is his own man and needs to own his own laziness. If the Phil Coutinho talk is true then fine I can understand it somewhat but he’s still an asset that shouldn’t be released for no fee and us covering his bloated contract!
Yeah I doubt they’ve asked for the buyout clause, stinks of Sky, Jim White and friends making shit up.
Question is why he wasn’t the priority this summer? I have faith in Raul to sort this situation out but its looking more and more like its a AMN, Chambers, Sokratis, Monreal backline for us this season…………………………………..
Quick, everyone in England, go out to your nearest golf course and punch the first old, smug looking guy you see cackling maniacally while typing on his phone. It’s a good chance it’s Pierre. If he wears a Ozil shirt it’s absolutely him so punch twice.
Sky do have a habit of adding things just to make a story slightly more meaty for them.
Most rumours today had Leipzig asking for £50-60 Million and then there was the Smith Rowe part of the story.
Bit strange that suddenly they are asking for £82 Million and it’s only Sky reporting it.
No way Upamecano goes for 80/90 million. Sky I imagine just being their usual cunt selves.
Now talks of Spurs and Dybala
Do they want both?
Can’t still wrap my head around the fact we find ourselves scrambling for a CB signing a day before transfer deadline
We conceded 50+ goals last season. And now we have Koscielny out the door..
I honestly think the numbers we’re letting in this season judging by the brain-dead idiots we still have as defenders in this club will undermine whatever good work the attack does
Going to be a horrible watch at the back this season again.. Lol Mustafi and Chambers? No chance
No world-class starting CB in= a struggle for top 6 never mind top4
Tick Tock..hahaha
Quick everyone
Go out in Sweden and find the skinniest most effeminate arse licker you can see( I know the country is full of them these days as opposed to hulking beautiful Viking types) It’s most likely Freddie the anus licker
Punch him twice
Cunt
Don
You just can not help yourself can you, it would almost be sad to see if you weren’t such a massive cunt.
If we can’t sign any defender, my plan be would be converting Xhaka to be a CB. He’ll do less harm there.
“Very thankful they’re not getting Lo Celso. Absolute brilliant player”
Better than Coutinho? Welcome back Marko. Did you take a break?
_—————-
Also happen to think Coutinho wins us more point this season than Upamecano can, so if we could get any for short term benefits am getting Coutinho.
Massive no to Barca offering Coutinho too?..Get fvcked,we fvcking need some bloody defenders
Want to offer us a Player? Try Umtiti
#Plan B
Upamecano is not remotely worth 60m. He’s not close to VVD. Isn’t a leader, cannot change games on his own, still needs to learn the game. I now know why we haven’t bought a defender yet. Quality CBs are in short supply for reasonable money this summer. I mean Maguire went for about 85m. That’s Ronaldo money!!
reddie LjungbergAugust 6, 2019 19:47:55 DonYou just can not help yourself can you, it would almost be sad to see if you weren’t such a massive cunt. He sends this ☝️ After sending this Freddie LjungbergAugust 6, 2019 19:35:02 Quick, everyone in England, go out to your nearest golf course and punch the first old, smug looking guy you see cackling maniacally while typing on his phone. It’s a good chance it’s Pierre. If he wears a Ozil shirt it’s absolutely him so punch twice. And thinks he’s justified What a typical millennial minge hole. I bet you tell chicks… Read more »
reddie LjungbergAugust 6, 2019 19:47:55 DonYou just can not help yourself can you, it would almost be sad to see if you weren’t such a massive cunt. He sends this ☝️ After sending this Freddie LjungbergAugust 6, 2019 19:35:02 Quick, everyone in England, go out to your nearest golf course and punch the first old, smug looking guy you see cackling maniacally while typing on his phone. It’s a good chance it’s Pierre. If he wears a Ozil shirt it’s absolutely him so punch twice. And thinks he’s justified What a typical millennial minge hole. I bet you tell chicks… Read more »
These tv commentators are going to have a tough time pronouncing player name correctly.
@Digital – I never said Miki is lazy. I said Ozil’s attitude sedated him.
Ozil is a sedative. You’ve heard it here first!
“If we can’t sign any defender, my plan be would be converting Xhaka to be a CB. He’ll do less harm there.”
Are you fucking serious? Putting Xhaka even closer to our own goal to help our defence is the equivalent to dealing with a toothache by putting a hand grenade in your mouth and pulling the pin.
@ Nelson – If we can’t sign any defender, my plan be would be converting Xhaka to be a CB. He’ll do less harm there.
What have you been smoking today?
Don
Yes, that is completely justified when it comes to the giant troll that is Pierre.
On all the other drivel you’re so far off reality I can’t even bother to correct you, it’s not like you don’t have a learning disability anyway so what’s the point.
Think you posted your search for a hulking beautiful viking type wrong though, this isn’t grindr.
Cesc
It’s Sky ramping up the story to sound important.
Other outlet – Breaking news player moving for £1 million
Sky – Breaking news player moving for £100 million.
Marc
What would be your solution if we couldn’t sign any defender? What happen if PapaSok got hurt or got a red card?
Freddie LjungbergAugust 6, 2019 20:02:40
DonYes, that is completely justified when it comes to the giant troll that is Pierre.On all the other drivel you’re so far off reality I can’t even bother to correct you, it’s not like you don’t have a learning disability anyway so what’s the point.Think you posted your search for a hulking beautiful viking type wrong though, this isn’t grind
Freddie acted like a prick
Had it 180’d on him. Cried like a pansie
Boohoo. Terrible shame what’s happened to Sweden. Rip
So many tall and beautiful Europeans….not any more.
We can all be Swedish now eh Freddie?
Same question to you, MGooner
That’s at least two people who have suggested Xhaka as a CB in the past day or so, are they smoking funny cigarettes with Pierre and CG?
DonYes, that is completely justified when it comes to the giant troll that is Pierre.
Translates as
Yes it’s fine when I do it but if it happens to me I kick and scream like an epileptic emo teenager who’s recently been grounded
Nelson
My solution is to run over Mustafi in the car park.
Whatever else happens it can’t be that bad.
You should remember Xhaka has been used in defence before and wasn’t exactly a success.
If I heard Xhaka had tripped over and broke his ankle tomorrow I wouldn’t be upset.
mgooner
What city do you live in? You a Londoner?
You should remember Xhaka has been used in defence before and wasn’t exactly a success.
Marc
Yeah
Because our budgets was fucking crippled without him
We had to rely on 5 yard sideways sideshow bob while everyone crowned over him. 🤮
Chris, short answer, yes!
@Nelson – I do not smoke, I am a trying to become a monk.
Xhaka is a version of Calamity Jane. If we do not buy, give Mavropanos a run. Papa is OK,
If injured, try Chambers, he would surprise many.
Willock should absolutely start against Newcastle on Sunday..he’s deserved that chance at the least
Nothing to lose there from the tried and trusted Xhaka-Guendouzi pivot
Just have this huge fear regardless of the players we have Emery will end up fvcking the team up, guy really has a poor choice of player selections or how to properly set up a well drilled defense
Guy always seem to make the most simplest decisions looks the most complex. Na wa o
Don I must have missed the part where I was crying, just pointed out that you didn’t have any of your assumptions right, you have a habit of being wrong about everything so it really shouldn’t come as a shock to you, if you weren’t too thick. I’m not a millennial, I don’t live in Sweden etc etc, I know you’re allergic to facts but try to get one or 2 things right a day at least. What’s happened to Sweden btw? Unless you live in a shithole like Malmoe or one of the worse suburbs to Stockholm nothing much… Read more »
Yea Vic, was thinking the same thing. Willock should absolutely start. In the long run, if he proves worthy (and I think he will) he should cement that first team place or atleast share with Ceballos. Torr, if he proves himself too should take the other place.
Torr Willock/Ceballos Xhaka
Torr Willock/Ceballos
Ozil
I can see that this is another one of those days where you completely exposes what a garbage human being you are so go ahead, dig deeper.
I’m sure there’s some new posters reading that haven’t experienced your special brand of crazy yet. You’ll show them though won’t you? Yep, you can’t help yourself.
All these overhyped players. Not worth it IMO.
I thought Sweden’s supposed to be a lovely country. Well I never.
Freddie
Do I really have to post stats on blandland
again?
Look. You tired to give it. You got it back and now you can’t take it.
Looks like The Spiv has been ducking and diving today and has got us the Italian John Stones. Think Injury prone, technical, pretty passes, lightweight, slow, ponderous in thought- not a defender first and foremost type. Rugani.. looks completely unsuitable to the rigours of the Prem. (Denise Suarez – centre half version.Part 2) I prefer the more Adams/Terry/Sok types. But then again I know what I am talking about- this mob clearly dont. Any news on Tienrey….. I suppose are we just finishing fitting in that stair lift and wheelchair ramp at London Colney before we announce him. Other clubs… Read more »
Torr Willock/Ceballos Xhaka’
Yea Might give us the edge technically over average midfielders in the league but can get absolutely overrun and outpaced by the serious teams
Not looking bad Mystic but I fear for the lack of height and physicality in there ..
Xhaka is such an enigma though, has this good build up of a perfect midfielder but is absolutely porous defensively and too weak
Hopefully Willock takes his chance and provide us that needed bite against Newcastle
The rumours are back to a two year loan with an obligation to buy at around £36 Million with Rugani who would earn £70 000 a week. It’s just the Upamecano rumours that our souring it a bit for me, a week ago I would have been happy to see Rugani given a go. As long as it means we still get Tierney and possibly even try for Coutinho I would be happy. Not sure what sort of loan fee Juventus would want but it could mean we get our CB for under £10 Million this summer leaving money spare… Read more »