ARSENAL SIGN PÉPÉ OMFG

by & filed under News Review.

Wow, wow, wow… Raul S has pulled off the shock signing of the summer, with Dave Ornstein announcing the Spaniard has reeled in one of the best talents in Ligue 1 with Nicolas Pépé.

I am SHOOK.

The above tweet is obviously a massive L on my part, but there are layers to my unprophetic words. Firstly, the fact we’ve managed to scrabble together €80m for a player is quite incredible. If there were a saying from this summer it’d be…

‘It’s all about the instalment plan, fam’

Secondly, I am HUGELY surprised that we were the only major club outside Napoli in for his talents. I know I have repeatedly defended what Arsenal is to players and managers around the world, but I didn’t think we were in that league of intrigue for names that had clubs like Paris and Liverpool sniffing. Just goes to show you, London is a huge pull, the full stadium is unique, the training ground is special, the chance to play must also be important, and the new guys must be able to sell a dream.

What a moment, I can’t remember Arsenal dropping a signing this major since we brought in Thierry Henry. He’s the right-winger of our dreams. The most exciting Ivorian since Yaya Toure stepped foot in Boreham Wood (Jokes Kolo, jokes). He scored 23 goals last season and gave 12 assists. He’s been making a contribution to Lille every 101 minutes, which is far more impressive than what Zaha has been doing at Palace over the past season. The best he’s mustered is a contribution every 152 in his best ever year last season.

The player himself is a joy to watch, for some reason I spent a lot of time watching Ligue 1 last year and he’s been one of the stand out guys. He’s powerfully built, standing at 6ft. I think he’s slightly lighter in frame than Zaha, but he’s electric on the ball. He has deft feet, he moves at pace, he’ll come deep, he’ll stretch teams and in front of goal last season he blew up.

We’ve struggled for years to add players with athleticism to our frontline, it’s great to see we’re finally moving in on players that are a huge issue for teams on the counter. When you have a shite defence like we do, the last thing we need is to be pressed into our own half because the only person chasing a long ball is Auba (who can be crowded out physically in big games).

Outside that, this has been a fucking great signing for the fans. This is a premium signing. I really think Zaha would have been good for us, but that could have gone the way of Welbeck, or it could have just been a move that was ok.

Pepe has a higher ceiling than Zaha, I think he’s better technically, and he’s 2 years younger. Our guy has resale value as well, which is super important when you look how we’re going to have to work the ins and outs moving forward.

It’ll also be good for the squad morale. No one wants to go back to preseason and have no new faces to look at. This will add the squad vibes and it’ll be just as fun for the players as it has been for the fans.

I know that a few of journos are saying the move favoured us because we were willing to give his agency team the commissions they wanted. It seems like the cost of football these days, but it’s dodgy all the same. We’ve lost out on lots of big names in the past because we’ve ignored the dark arts of the game, and now it looks like that’s where we’re playing them… but like most things in sport, you cease to care if you have a shiny new player rolling out in a redshirt.

I did think it was quite amusing that Raul and the exec leadership team spent an afternoon getting pounded at the fan Q&A for basically no reason… they could have just said we’d be signing Pepe this week and everyone would have shut the fuck up. It’s a bit like chewing out your partner for not doing anything for your birthday, then packing up your bags and leaving them, only find out their last-ditch attempt to meet you was a surprise birthday party with the Rolling Stones.

What I find particularly handsome about this summer is that the roof of the house has blown off and we’re out the front painting with a really nice Farrow and Ball shade of gray. Where are the defenders?!

Are we Kevin Keegan’s Newcastle? It’s looking that way… but hey, at least the players are exciting.

See you in the comments!

1,370 Responses to “ARSENAL SIGN PÉPÉ OMFG”

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  1. Unai

    Valentin, all good/great players are able to adapt to changing tactics, squad makeup and the opposition, both players should be capable of doing so.

    Struggling to understand your point?

  2. Receding Hairline

    Valentin for crying out loud Aubameyang is an out and out striker, Nicolas Pepe is not. You are the only human on earth who believes both cannot play on the same team and i am meant to accept that simply because you are French??

  3. Valentin

    Marc,

    You make it too easy.

    I said the other day Valentin isn’t an Arsenal supporter he’s a Wenger supporter who’s now pissed off he was sacked.

    You already know that I supported Arsenal before Wenger joined and that I was pleased he was incharge anymore because he refuse to change with the time.

    But again, because you have no argument against what I said, you just resort of calling me an AKB.
    Insulting people because of their nationality, race, gender is not banter. It’s just bigoted prejudice trying to mask itself.
    Like I said xenophobic troll.

  4. Receding Hairline

    “Receding,This is your usual tactic when you have been found out.
    Lying, accusing people of doing what you have just been caught doing, asking any troll to your defense, then insult people and disappear in a strop. It’s pathetic.”

    Your attempts to cast aspersions on my character is funny by the way, and pathetic too

  5. Receding Hairline

    Valentin wants us to believe that adding Pepe to our squad reduces the number of goals Aubameyang will score next season.

    How does this make sense??

    His answer they make the same runs.

  6. Marc

    Valentin

    Troll – don’t be a cock how many trolls do you know who attend matches?

    Xenophobic – I called you a cheese easting surrender monkey – it’s a joke from the Simpson’s and at the time you were saying that we should give in to Kos and let him go.

    Liar – you can’t come up with anything.

  7. Cesc Appeal

    Marc

    I just think if someone is spoiling for an argument at this moment in time then they are pretty sour as an individual and should just be left to jump and shout and ball their fists alone.

    It’s been quite pleasant on here mainly because people who are fans of Arsenal are actually quite happy right now.

  8. Receding Hairline

    Cesc he wants us to believe that adding Pepe, a winger, to our squad will reduce the number of goals Aubameyang scores next season. The only reason for that assertion is that they “make identical runs”.

    It will be negligent to allow someone post that here without taking him to task. He wants Aubameyang sold to bring in Zaha.

  9. Champagne charlie

    “Your attempts to cast aspersions on my character is funny by the way, and pathetic too“

    Accurate portrayal. You lie, look for arguments, then deny that, dismiss the poster, and disappear.

    You, and a few others, have a hard on for Valentin, everything he posts is subject of your “analysis”.

    This place is pretty chill with you in your swamp.

  10. Marc

    Cesc

    You know my feelings about the comments section on here.

    As far as I’m concerned this is the most productive transfer window I can remember in years and the vast majority of Gooner’s are happy with what’s going on.

    It’s going to be an interesting 10 days until the window closes and not just for us.

  11. Receding Hairline

    Lol…Valentin the person you have been screaming for is here to defend you now.

    “This place is pretty chill with you in your swamp.”

    This place has been very okay since morning, i am not the one campaigning for the our highest goal scorer last season to be sold to Man United.

    Your pathetic attempts to turn posters here against me isn’t working so the earlier you focus on your “reminiscing” of music and whatever from the 70″s and 80’s the better for you Champagne Charlie

  12. Cesc Appeal

    RH

    It’s just spoiling for an argument.

    Arsenal fans are absolutely ecstatic right now and you can see the plan.

    A forward line of goal threats in Aubameyang, Lacazette, Pepe with the full backs in Bellerin and Tierney providing the width and overlapping. That could be fluid, fast and effective.

  13. Cesc Appeal

    Marc

    I’m excited and nervous for these last 10 days.

    But in general I feel good about the club.

    We’ve got a long way to go but we’re actually making an effort and importantly we’re recognizing our issues.

  14. Bob N16

    Frankly if as a unit we’re more effective, I don’t care if PEA doesn’t score as many goals as last season. We’ve needed a top class winger since Sanchez went off the boil and it looks like we’ll be getting one.

    I know some of us are getting a little carried away with expectations but if Tiernay comes in, I honestly think we could be pushing for third place. EL is much easier to deal with pre Xmas than CL and if Holding and Bellerin stay fit, our defence will be better than last year. Ceballos looks a baller and even Ozil and Mhiki will have to turn up if they’re getting to get a decent wage/new club next Summer.

    As an aside, I always think that if you argue a point over and over again, you’re wasting your time with the person you’re trying to engage. Either that or you just fancy an argument which is fair enough.

  15. Receding Hairline

    “Cesc why the nervousness?”

    Probably comes from the defense

    We have been very clever so far but we need to get the Tierney deal done and if possible bring in a center back. Mustafi causes nervousness for players and fans alike

  16. Crimson

    A few thoughts and musings about the game yesterday.
    Nelson and willock are ready for the first team.
    Chambers should start over mustafi (hopefully he is sold, but really hate those that Boo him. No need for it)
    Love you jose Antonio Reyes! Often overlooked in the invincible season. RIP
    LACAS injury is thankfully not a bad one
    Cellabos can boss a midfield with torriera
    Finally some decent beer at the Emirates!
    Nketiah should stay until the Jan window.
    Other thoughts rattling around –
    Mavropanos /ESR needs to get fit and loaned out.
    Asano, elneny, Kos and Jenks need to Go obviously.
    Bielk is not fancied by emery, sadly cause I’d give him a chance
    Dani Alves?? If his wages aren’t astronomical then get the winner in. (nothing like the Lichetstenier signing)
    Tierney will get done…. Eventually
    PEPE has a decision to make. Psg or us?
    Rugani on a 1 year loan till Saliba comes in next season seems to make sense.
    Legrove is over run with right wing idiotic loonys and trolls.
    Vamos Arsenal! ❤️ Fuck spurs