I’ll fully accept that summer is going badly, what I can’t tolerate is the growing movement of absolute cucks following our great club.
Aaron Ramsey was a good player. Not a great.
I promise you, there was more concern at Arsenal about his lack of technical ability at 27 than there was from people begging that he land a £350k a week mega deal. Good player, not a great. To the death, he couldn’t judge when to move forward or stay back. Roy of the Rovers, great on paper, not great when you’re preserving a tactical advantage in a huge game.
Never was world class. Never will be world class.
Worth more than Ozil? Yes. But I have toe hair offering more value than Erdogan’s best pal.
Second port of call.
This deserves about as much press coverage as the guys rocking straight pride.
Stan owns Arsenal.
He’s not going anywhere. Reality is, he’s blown more money on us over the last 5 years than most clubs that have literally won the Champions League. Investment isn’t the issue. Spending money properly is.
Being ‘Stan Out’ is about as progressive as thinking sex is unequally distributed in society.
I want to say ignore the trolls. I want to say that starving them of oxygen will stop the trend of grown men acting out on Youtube. But I get it, we all need people to laugh at. We need the WWE of Arsenal thinkery. It keeps the internet interesting when Newsnow is so boring you want to mix it up by varnishing your nails with a Black and Decker power sander. So I will salute them, you should too. But remember, everyone will think you’re a right twat if you ape their info at an Incel meet & greet in Croydon.
Stick with LG. Semi-fact checked work with sauces more authentic than HP on a Westminster bacon roll. Also, I misspelt source for banter. The rest of the typos in this blog are also on purpoise.
Faux club patriotism. I can’t take it. Can we leave it at the door?
‘Arsene, you’re my manager’
‘Daddy W, I won’t tell if you don’t’
‘I’ll send you nudes, love zipper man’
It makes me want to partially heave out my lactose intolerant lower intestines, set them alight with Sambuca, whilst trying to sell Oat-milk to someone so fucking woke they think that Oats are sentient beings and you are actually being offensive with your non-dairy choice.
‘It’s basically meat juice if you think about it’
Only Arsenal fans could look at the current situation at the club and actually CELEBRATE tweets and Facebook posts that eulogise the clubs 10-year captor-in-chief because he was photographed buying elite non-dairy products in Waitrose. I am being honest right now… is this the WORST case of Stockholm Syndrome EVER? What’s going on with Arsenal fans? It’s like @ArsenalBarcaGoldenState1999 might not be that dedicated to the reality of the situation?
‘I miss my BOO big DADDY Wenger’
What. What. STOP.
Worse is the freakish love-in with Ozil. He’s not even perking up spreadsheets these days. The footballing equivalent of looking directly into Pripyat’s Reactor #4. You’re being told it’s safe by a naked Andrey Arshavin on a horse, the glow kind of looks pretty… but two hours later you’re vomiting blood in the Le Grove comments section. Yet still, fan after fan wants to inhale in the sweet, sweet clouds of blue snowy dust because it looked really fucking cool on a Youtube compilation edited by @ArsenalBarcaGoldenState1999.
‘Mesut Ozil did more for Arsenal than Paul Kagame did for Rwanda… and gave Arsenal £30m a year. No wait? He took £30m and didn’t work for… no wait. Have I fucked this up? Can we just get back onto the topic of equal distribution of sex in society?’
These terrible accounts aren’t even selling stuff.
No one is showcasing charcoal blackhead remover, which looks real cool imo.
No one is pushing diet pills and Giroud like six-pack dreams, which would also be lit fam because I’m a total fat bitch these days.
People running these awful accounts just get off making you feel good about awful players. It’s a gross perversion and if you know someone doing this, call the police and make a complaint BEFORE your Jack Russel gives you a look that tells you something bad happened when you left it alone with this Twitter monster.
‘Granit Xhaka gives you 90% pass completion rates because he cares about baby dolphins. You just sneer. Are you even human?’
OH MY. Stop. Make the perverts stop.
Sometimes I wonder if we need to sink Arsenal just to flush out the nonsense.
Anyway, just a late night rant just to get back on top of the morning game. Going to deeply regret this in the morning when I wake up and realise there’s an Incel INSURRECTION at my front door… jokes on them, I’ll hide in my bedroom behind my girlfriend, they’ll never enter.
Right, that’s me done, see you in the morning you absolute virgins. x