Nakhchivan restaurant, Baku, for FINE meats
It is official. Mikhi is out of the Europa League final. UEFA is kind of OK with a bit of casual racism, providing it’s putting football in countries that haven’t seen it at a high level before.
Smells bad people. Like your grandad’s nappy on a warm summer day. But are we surprised? Football’s governing bodies don’t care for anything outside cash money. FIFA literally let Qatar use slaves to build stadiums, their underlings were hardly going to buck scuzzy trends were they?
But what are Arsenal going to do about it? Boycott the game? Don’t be silly. There’s £80m riding on this match, that’s a lot of sparkly players, which is really all most British people need to forget any sort of human rights abuse questions, right people?
We were all pretty hunky dory about Silent Stan and his cute cowboy hat in the beginning— 10 years of soul destroying stagnation later, @JackMatchaBrew from St. Albans who is a disciple of beans on toast and a keen collector of vintage Panini stickers, is literally BEGGING for a man who allegedly threw an enemy in a vat of battery acid to take us out of our misery with a £190m investment in better players. We are a fickle bunch (but Jack, between me and you, I’m with you #GiveHimASeat).
It’s also a bit weird to lose your mind about this incident and be totally cool with that small sponsor from a certain country on our sleeves. I’m not saying Rwanda is a bad place, I’m not critiquing the wonderful people like an ignorant westerner, but Big Paul K, literally the Leo Messi of army generals, hasn’t exactly been Nelson Mandela of late (important read). A lot of good has gone on, no doubt, an OUTRAGEOUS turnaround job (think Rangnick taking RB from Div 4 to the Bundesliga), a progressive policy on plastic, an inviting hub for investment… but, as you’ve read, it’s not all great. 99% of the vote went to him in the last election, that kind of not great. We are taking money from a sponsor that might not be as classy as, say Emirates… no, that doesn’t work either… as say, Paddy Power… shit, they also crush lives… ok, let’s just say there’s a little bit of hypocrisy in calling for Arsenal to take a moral high ground this one time FOR NO BENEFICIAL REASON OUTSIDE FEELINGS.
… but here’s the thing, Vinai’s vision for the club is measured on feelings. If he was really ambitious, he’d shoot for this one big proud moment and take us out the comp. It’d be like the Kap advert, except we’d lose a shit tonne of money. But you know what, he won’t, and that’s my issue with the proud thing. We’re taking money from a strongman and we’ll just do our thing in Europa. I get it, I’d do the same, but my vision for Arsenal wouldn’t have been Tesco Proud Points.
We have to move forward, play the game, and shut the fuck up about all the surrounding bits and let the media start building hype about the actual match. No more sob stories about not being able to afford something expensive. No more petitions. No more crowd-pleasing ‘what we should do’ ideas. We’re playing the game.
So let’s talk about our goalkeeper. Petr Cech, in his last game ever. I think he should get the jersey, it’s the right thing to do, players are also very superstitious and… what?
HE IS MOVING TO CHELSEA AS A SPORTING DIRECTOR AND THE DEAL LEAKED.
To the bench Petr. You’ve been absolutely played here. Now you’re technically a Chelsea staffer, you cannot start.
How. Fucking. Dumb. This reminds me of the time we knew Cashers wanted to leave and we played him over Flamini in the Champions League final. DON’T DO IT AGAIN.
But, to counter, Mr Sarri is apparently the frontrunner for the newly open Juventus job. The Old Lady wants to play sexy football moving forward more in keeping with their flashy new brand, and CFC will let him go for £5m. Nothing like that as a little disruptor, am I right?
I was thinking about using racism against racism for winnertivity… hear me out. So Arsenal fans are good at the whole media thing. Let’s set up a fake Ancestry.com profile of Eden Hazard, make sure that it comes out as 80% Armenian. We’ll seed that news on social meeja using Arsenal fans to disseminate the misinformation like we dish out votes on internet polls. Then we’ll buy a banner plane and fly it over their equivalent of the TSA, it’ll say, ‘ASK FOR HIS DNA AT THE AIRPORT’. We’ll also flyer the city of Baku with well-produced advertising of his REAL nationality.
Hopefully, this will be enough to throw the authorities… he’ll be stopped at the airport. It takes two weeks for DNA to come through, we win the Europa, the WHOLE thing is a banterous scam, and the papers write how we used racism to prove that transfer clickbait is a scam… no… I’m getting mixed up. We used local racism to prove that love won’t help you cross a border. Ok, ok, I’m working on the case study narrative.
Scoff all you like… but do you have a better plan?
Back to Azerbaijan, I nominate Starapraga beer as the choice go-to. Why? Well, their website still uses flash, which is super vintage hipster. It’s a local beer… I found one called Afansa, with a really cool horse on it, but it was made by Carlsberg. This brand appears to be doing very well, stealing market share from the big boys, so it has an underdog spirit like Arsenal in this game.
Have one, and let me know how it goes.
SEE YOU IN THE COMMENTS.
DM
2
Bankz is here for the Tr4phy again.
Fourth
Tr4phy
Hello
Wow Duzie. Came outta nowhere to grab that! Nicely done 🙂
Haha. Fast fingers I see 🙂
First time I finished 4th
Nice one Duzie…..you snuck out of nowhere to clinch the most sought after trophy on Legrove.
I think we should focus on the final and let not the Mkhitaryan saga distract us.
Cech needs to start. He has experience in the finals. My fear is that he’d perform badly if it went down to penalties.
A bit like Lopetegui and Spain this . Except he went to direct rivals just when we were about to play them in an European Final. Spain sacked him promptly , we should bench Cech . I don’t doubt his professionalism , just it was dumb to announce this now.
Yeah bankz,
First time I finish 4th. It’s so refreshing.
Duzie
Im gonna have to unfollow you if you try that “fourth” bollocks again.
Hahahahahaha Gambon
Does anyone think it makes sense to play a friendly before the final? Knowing our luck with picking up injuries from meaningless games. I’m afraid.
I think the preparation that we will get from playing a proper competitive game will outweigh the injury threat.
“It’s also a bit weird to lose your mind about this incident and be totally cool with that small sponsor from a certain country on our sleeves. I’m not saying Rwanda is a bad place, I’m not critiquing the wonderful people like an ignorant westerner, but Big Paul K, literally the Leo Messi of army generals, hasn’t exactly been Nelson Mandela of late”
I was against this sponsorship deal from the beginning. Kagame is the Erdogan of Rwanda.
Duzie
We played a friendly with some Austrian side I think . Welbeck scored . There’s suggestion that He might be involved in the final . Welbz is our secret weapon
That dish picture has got me thinking about going to Baku now. No veggie burgers for me. No way.
Welbeck wont start
He hasnt played a competitive game for 6 months.
Hes a good option to have off the bench though.
Get over it already – we’ve known where the final was from day 1, we even came up against the potential issues when we played Qarabag – so stop this holier than thou crap and move on.
There is a time and place for sentiment but not in the final where this will be our only chance to get CL football for the next couple of years. Can’t see Man Utd going backwards again so unless Spuds implode, top 4 is not a reality IN OUR CURRENT environment.
Leno has to play over Cech. But he won’t.
Leno needs to start, theres no time for sentimentality – play the best side and go for the win.
We owe Cech nothing…
With him widely anticipated to become a Chelsea staffer next year, he has a clear conflict of interest.
Why is it even a question of who should play? Could you imagine any of our rivals entertaining such a notion if they were in our shoes?
Time to grow a backbone and do what is best for the club.
Leno should play all the way.
Pedro
I make this your best-ever piece (certainly that I have ever read.) Can’t stand sanctimony or hypocrisy – and we get that a-plenty from the Arsenal hierarchy.
This holier-than-thou ‘Arsenal Way’ make me sick to my stomach. A total cop-out and a stack of lies, to boot.
Yes, there used to be an ‘Arsenal Way’, but that went out of the door with custodianship.
Pedro,
Hazardian looks Armenian to me.
I read somewhere that quite a Cornish guy called Trevelyan was denied a visa on the grounds that his surname was suspiciously Armenian.
With a place in the Champions League at stake, I can fully understand that the club will not want to boycott this game.
However, it is disgraceful that longstanding Arsenal fans of Armenian heritage (not even Armenian citizens) are being prevented from attending the game by the Azerbaijani authorities. They haven’t done anything wrong, they are not criminals… all they want to do is support their football team.
This is blatant discrimination.
What is the club going to do about it?
In my opinion we should tell UEFA to fuck off and stick this stupid Thursday night turd back up their arses, and fuckin’ Chelsea should stand with us too on this.
I get the Champions League factor but if the club gave such a fuck, where were they against bloody Everton, Wolves, Brighton, Leicester and The Mighty Crystal Fuckin’ Palace?
Our club is a joke and a bad one at that.
They owe it to us to put in a performance next week because our end of the season form was appalling.
Pedro,
It’s not about racism. It’s about political tensions.
Imagine Welbz coming in at 90+ and scoring the winner , crazy . I see this happening . Chelsea cannot see whats coming .
Pedro playing the race card.
Asking Uefa to be fair to fans is like asking Nazis to be kind .
LT, bit racist imo
DivineSherlock
If that happens, we are going to petition Pedro to grant you Legendary Status.
It fits with your username aptly. 😉
Pedro You got the Azerbaijan issue right Chelsea have played a blinder on the PR front and shown more maturity. We need to stop whinnying more so when we have a lot riding on the outcome of the cup final. We should deprived Mykhi the opportunity to make a political stance because it is obvious the Azbekhs gave enough security guarantees short of having their president formally get involved. The national honor of Azbekhistan would be muddied if any harm came upon Mykhi and they wouldn’t allow anything to go wrong. We’ve been acting like wimps for sure. If Emery… Read more »
“Chelsea ‘ordered to pay £9m in compensation to Antonio Conte’ after sacking former boss last summer…”
“The pay-off to Conte will take the amount Chelsea have paid sacked managers in the Roman Abramovich era to £90m.”
NINETY MILLION?!?!
That can’t be in pay-offs alone, surely??
That simply staggering, if true.
Meanwhile, here we are looking behind sofas and in old jacket pockets to raise £50m
I wonder how Cech feels about the way Chelsea leaked his appointment. He might want to reconsider returning there.
That was very disrespectful to Cech.
They can’t call him a legend and then treat him like that.
Does anybody here really believe Cech would fuck up on purpose to allow Chelsea to win? Come on lads get serious, not that I want him to play mind you…….
Goodness gracious, Cech will be playing. He’s won 4 league titles and a champions league with Chelsea, a EL either way isn’t going to be his crowning glory. He’s the consummate professional.
In fact I’d wager he’s miles more interested in bringing European success to Arsenal given our pauper status in that regard. Chelsea have been there and done that, if folk think he’s going to chuck a final so they can get their hands on a EL then I offer you a barrel of LOLs.
We should be playing our strongest starting 11 in the final, and that means benching Cech for Leno. Ridiculous sentimentality to play Cech as a ‘nice send-off’. He’ll play though, and as was said earlier, if he makes a blunder which costs us the game, Emery’s done.
Champagne CharlieMay 22, 2019 11:21:30
Agreed CC.
No way Cech doesn’t remain completely professional if/when he plays. I don’t think his future relationship with Chelsea will affect his performance one iota. That said, I still think Leno is a better keeper (particularly the way we use him as a sweeper) for us than Cech is today.
Jamie
Pretty cool send offs as send offs go though innit?
Two most prominent sides you’ve played for in your career, European final. Not bad Petr
if he makes a blunder which costs us the game, Emery’s done.
———————————–
Whatever will be the reason for us losing, Emery should then get sacked for our matches against Everton, Wolves, Brighton, Leicester and Crystal Palace.
In a nutshell Emery has to deliver or he can’t fuck off.
CC –
Would be an epic way for him to finish his career, no doubt about it. When he plays, he needs a Per-like final performance (I think the FA Cup final was his last? Paired with Holding?).
..epic if we win, obvs..
Chelsea has succeeded to unsettle us. Cech is playing a dangerous game. His future is with Chelsea. He will be staying in London. He will encounter Arsenal fans in the future. If he forces his way to play the game and loses, I won’t be surprised that some hot headed fans would lake action against him.
If it goes to penalties and we still have one sub left, then Emery must bring on Leno instead of Cech but he probably wont.
If Cech is played in the final then he better have a flawless performance because if he doesn’t then the manager who chose to play him is condemned. I agree that Cech is the consummate professional but allowing [or not stopping] his future employers to release that bit of information is very unprofessional. It’s not unreasonable to expect that he should pay a prize for that sloppiness. Arsenal already sent him off after the Brighton game. I’m pretty sure even Cech as sporting director would not condone the way Chelsea handled this business. Emery has to show that he has… Read more »
*pay the price
It’s a problem for Emery because if he doesn’t start with Cech and then Leno gets injured or sent off (aka Lehmann), how will Cech play then etc?
If we lose then Emery will be under a huge amount of scrutiny which might cost him his job. If we lose with Cech in goal that will just be used against him whether Cech is responsible / seen as could have done better or not.
It just seems an unnecessary distraction at this point.
Come on, there is no question that Leno has to play. Even before the news broke, I was hoping Emery would do the right thing and pick our best keeper, rather than make a sentimental decision. But take a step back and look at it from a very basic point of view. Arsenal have been out of the CL for 2 seasons, are desperate for CL money to facilitate a rebuild, have our only shot at Silverware possibly for a couple of years, are playing Chelsea in the final…….and are debating whether to play Chelseas new Sporting Director in goal.… Read more »
“It’s a problem for Emery because if he doesn’t start with Cech and then Leno gets injured or sent off (aka Lehmann)”
Im sure the 0.1% chance of this happening is not a part of the decision making process.
gambon
If Cech is the professional others are arguing then that’s a moot point.
Last night I looked at the stats of both our defence and midfield this season. Everyone has been crystal clear just how poorly our defence performed this season. Frankly it is not worth discussing further. However, what I found more shocking is just how unproductive our midfield has been in epl. Torreira GP 34 GS2 GA2 Xhaka GP29 GS4 GA2 Elneny GP8 GS0 GA0 Ramsey GP28 GS4 GA6 GuendouziGP33 GS0 GA0 Suarez GP4 GS0 GA0 Ozil GP24 GS5 GA2 MkhitaryanGP25 GS6 GA4 So our 8 midfielders contributed collectively just 21 goals scored and 16 assists in EPL during entire season.… Read more »
For every goal against us, fans will question whether Leno could have done better. The pressure is now on Cech to stop everything.
Also, as people have said, finals go to penalties.
Cech has saved one penalty in 4 years at Arsenal.
We cant afford to be playing someone that will 100% have to be subbed off in the event of a draw.
There are a list of reasons not to play Cech.
There is only one reason to play him – sentimentality.
Maybe we should play Joe Willock instead of Torreira.
After all, he did well in the group games he played, so its only fair.
There is an extra sub available in extra time. We could always change the GK by then.
“There is an extra sub available in extra time. We could always change the GK by then”
Completely giving away the advantage of an extra sub.
If one of our players goes down injured or cramped in injury time, we will have to tell him to hobble on, because we have a keeper thats too old and slow to save penalties.
Not exactly ideal.
gambon
Emery’s standing with Arsenal rest on whether he starts Cech or Leno.
If he starts with Cech then it would say all about him.
Cech ruled himself out the moment that story broke.
Is Emery going to play the keeper who has one leg out of football with the team that may deny us a place in the CL?
I’m sure Cech would understand if he was dropped. He made it easier for the manager.
Dissenter
Exactly.
Emery doesnt have a choice here.
Cech has been negotiating a new job with our EL final rivals in the build up to the most important game we have played for 13 years.
He easily could have told CHelsea to wait until the end of the season. He didnt.
Legit having nightmares of what Hazard can do vs AMN.
That Valencia dude chopped him like an onion on several occasions. Hope to god we ve worked on a way of keeping him quiet.
Its likely his last chelc game and i dont want us to succumb to the all so poetic baiting headline of hazard giving chelc a trophy in his last game.
Pedro the one that scares me. Love scoring early and late winners.
Honestly, I think Emery should start Leno simply because he’s the better keeper. All the other Chelsea noise shouldn’t really factor into it. Unless there’s a discussion to be had about whether Cech is the better player, which I can’t really see given how poor he is as a sweeper. He always lumps the ball forward when he’s under any sort of pressure, and since we don’t have any hold-up players, we almost always lose possession higher up the pitch and invite an attack. He’s a super professional, though. Not sure that’s enough to warrant a start over Leno, but… Read more »
Jamie,
I agree. Play the best goalkeeper. The Chelsea noise and sentiment shouldn’t play any part. Should he even make the bench?
Jamie, no. Leno always needed to start.
Cech has issued a statement on Facebook . He says any and all decisions of his future will be taken after the game . His sole focus is winning Europa with Arsenal.
Left (s) –
Agreed, although Cech should definitely make the bench. Who’s our 3rd keeper? Martinez?
Cech is a decent keeper, he just can’t play with the ball at his feet – an increasingly necessary quality for a modern keeper to have.
Leno has his faults too though. Flaps at crosses far too often for my liking, but he knows how to play football.
“Cech has been negotiating a new job with our EL final rivals in the build up to the most important game we have played for 13 years.He easily could have told CHelsea to wait until the end of the season. He didnt.” This is why the conflict of interest arises. There’s more for Cech personally going forward with Chelsea if Arsenal lose than if Arsenal win. Even without this circus, Leno is our no.1 keeper. This is our most important game in a decade… and might determine how we fare in the decade ahead. No doubt we will play our… Read more »
*why not the keeper.
If it was up to me, I would have included Cech in the ceremony when we thanked Rambo and told him then and there that Leno was starting in the final.
Honestly, I can’t believe we’re even debating this. Where’s our collective pride? We need to do what is best for the club, not for Petr Cech.
Gambon
I just don’t see Arsenal pulling Cech in the final given he’s played every game to get us there. I think on some level you just have appreciate Cech is plenty good enough to play this game for us.
It’s Bellerin to Jenkinson levels. It’s Auba/Laca in some respect. I’ve no issue with him in goal, and it would arguably inspire him to previous levels for 90 mins. Which is levels above Leno.
*its not Bellerin to Jenkinson levels
Leeds
I think Cech was involved in the send-off ceremonies, along with Ramsey and Wellbeck
Well said. People need to save the hand-wringing and moaning for afterwards. The club needs to focus 100% on winning the damn final, save the recriminations and complaints for afterwards. Nothing worse than a grievance saga to distract from preparations for a big match.
By all means, if and when we win, the club can say whatever it likes. But until, shut up and prepare to win.
I don’t get this clamor for Leno like he is error free
Better keeper at the moment yes but he doesn’t hold a candle to the career Cech has had
I actually think whoever leaked this did Chelsea a disservice, placing a goal keeper of Cech’s standing under scrutiny for the last match of his career isn’t a smart thing to do in my opinion
Didn’t Leno makes his debut for us in an Europa League game? Against Vorskla? If so, he’s not entirely a stranger to this competition.
This game has massive ramifications. Leno has to play.
Thankfully, you don’t pick players based on their careers, otherwise we might as well give Dave Seaman a call.
Pedro
I don’t think bringing Seaman up when talking about European finals is a good idea. I was at the 95 Cup Winner’s Cup final and I’m still suffering PTSD after the Nayim goal!
Leeds
Actually Leno has played 3 EL matches for us this season including 2 clean sheets.
Has David Seaman played for us leading up to the final?
If yes then by all means let him continue
Thanks Marc.
Plus, Leno put in a great performance when we faced Chelsea in the League… when we won 2-0…
Leno is not error free but he has more positives than negatives especially when we’re playing Chelsea.
How many errors leading to goals has Cech committed leading up to the final?? How many has Leno had over the course of the season?? Is this just paranoia because a man dared to book the next stage of his life while waiting for one game or is this from a genuine belief he will somehow cost us the game by an error?? We have let a lot of nonsense in my opinion overshadow our build up to this game, first it was Mkhi who i believe is going to be perfectly safe as have other Armenian athletes in Azerbaijan,choosing… Read more »
Yeah enough being the cuckold club and just play Leno already. He’s the main goalie he should play in the final.
Makes you wonder if Arsenal football club would have made more of an effort if it was Aubamayang or Lacazette in Mhkitaryan ‘position ….
By the way are people from Azerbaijan allowed into Armenia??
I don’t think so
The only reason Cech is playing that final is
sentimental and that’s a huge problem.
Anyway hope he has a blinder cos Emery lacks
the cojones.
Forget that , it looks like it was his decision.
It’s ok la Baku hosted F1 already so it’s no stranger to some (((prestigious))) events.
The whole ‘cup keeper’ thing is weird to me. Coaches now find themselves in a fix when it comes to the final . A better way to do it would be to rotate games between first choice and #2 in the cup games.
So you have the liberty of still picking your #1 keeper for the final.
A non-sentimental coach would not be needing any ‘liberties’ anyway
Do you ever get the feeling Receding Hairline just comes here to argue.
You can absolutely guarantee that every day he will be here arguing against the general sentiment if the blog.
He’s just said Leno is a better GK but Cech should play cos he was good in 2004.
This whole sentimentality is the reason that we were stuck with past it Wenger for 10+ years.
“Emery has to show that he has some cojones and common sense. Whatever debt is owed to Cech pales in comparison to the responsibility of duty to Arsenal.“ What debt might that be? Cech was effectively demoted by Chelsea to be their no 2 and Wenger helped to extend his professional career while giving him a generous contract and the no one position at Arsenal, while he and his family stayed in London. He came to Arsenal past his prime and the promise of adding 10 plus points to our league tally over the course of the season never materialized… Read more »
Charlie We aren’t in a position to be giving away slight advantages. Leno is a better keeper. We are slight underdogs in this game. We really can’t afford to make it a slightly easier game for Chelsea. If we had finished 3rd I would agree. We don’t have the luxury after the way we ended the season. Most of the signings we have lined up will probably have to be shelved if we lose. If Leno was 1% better than Cech he should play. The fact that he’s clearly a much better keeper these days means it’s not even a… Read more »
“Cech has issued a statement on Facebook . He says any and all decisions of his future will be taken after the game .”
Which is basically an admission that he’s going back to Chelsea.
What debt do we owe Cech? Wasn’t he paid millions to be a professional footballer? Or did we stop paying him as soon as put on Arsenal’s colours?
Sentimentality should have nothing to do with it. We owe Cech absolutely nothing.
“He’s just said Leno is a better GK but Cech should play cos he was good in 2004.”
Word for word
“You can absolutely guarantee that every day he will be here arguing against the general sentiment if the blog.”
General sentiment of the blog?? Didn’t know we were all supposed to fall in line with whatever that is daily….