I love saying that. I say it in the office 7 times a day, in a Spanish accent, which some people think is racist, but then I say my Dad has a house in Spain so I’m technically Spanish, then people ‘get it.’
HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A FUCKING EXCITING STORY:
Nerazzurri looking at many profiles in the Premier League , even in midfield. The ‘Corriere dello Sport’ confirms the interest in Granit Xhaka , a player who can leave Arsenal . The Swiss is a profile that appeals, even if it is not considered a priority at the moment.
I will make myself available for references, I know at least 30,000 others that’ll do the same. This would be an EPIC move for him because, jokes aside, I think he’d be a machine in Italy. Less intensity, slow build from the back, the only person pressing in the entire country of Italy is going to be Rambo next season. He’ll be golden. They’ll love that leadership story about the spare key as well.
I also think we could look at landing £50m for him. Maybe more? But, what I truly hope, is we don’t fuck around like we did with Chambers. Move Granit off the wage bill, accept it didn’t work, open a Samaritans hotline for the apologists, who, once again have proved that it is they who ‘might not really get the game,’ and rehire someone that can do the passing bits, but offer up power, pace and real aggression in the middle.
YES. YES. YES.
Oh man, is it weird to say that the rumour is making me feel frisky? That is weird, I retract (but come on, finding that rumour on Newsnow was a little like opening your first ever saucy link circa 1996 on copper dial-up (kids, you’d wait 4 hours for 1 still of Pamela Anderson to load)).
The Baku nightmare seems to be deepening. Arsenal are struggling to sell their weak allotment of 6000 tickets because, well, I guess people aren’t comfortable dropping £2000 for a final that is far from a sure bet. I love all the UEFA wokeness about putting the big matches in countries that have bad football teams, but if you’re real, it denigrates the competition and it’s awful for fans.
A bit like extending out the World Cup to 700 teams. It becomes like those school sports days where everyone is a winner, which, to be fair, I fucking loved as a kid. I was literally shit at every single sport, but I’d still get a trophy for faking a hamstring injury 10m into the egg and spoon race. Thank the lord for the overwoke Brighton parents helping to make sure the chubbers felt like sporting heroes, you made me the soft trophy-laden failure I am today.
Baku to it (<deserved a trophy)… it’s a bit embarrassing. Apparently, the one England based Arsenal fan of Armenian heritage that had £2k spare for the flight can’t gain entry to the country. How fucking bad is that? Literally banning a nation they don’t like. Imagine if the English just decided they hated Europe and wanted to extricate themselves from the European Union. We’d all be up in arms.
Just kidding @BrexitJonny, I’m not drawing FALSE parallels. It’s awful. Poor Mikhi. Like when your pals have a banger of a party organised and invite an ex that destroyed your life, confidence and self-esteem. I feel you Mikhi, and fuck you Dave, I’ll never forgive you.
‘PEDRO YOU MENTALIST, HOW COME NO BIG CLUB HAS COME IN FOR ARTETA?’
Well my friends, it seems they have… Lyon, one of the most decorated teams in France, has put the feelers out for my main man of ELITE hair notoriety. They are a Champions League club. They are a powerful entity in France. Aulas is one of the shrewdest operators in world football.
No, no… please… a visionary? Me? Gosh, this is embarrassing. No… I won’t put my hat in the ring for TD.
NOW, just to cover my bases like the pro flip-flopper I am, who knows if he’ll succeed if he takes the job (I think he’ll stay on for City unless he’s really hungry to have a crack), all I said is the move is a clever one. Aulas is looking at what City are doing and he wants a piece of the action. Very smart. He’s buying the IP of the best footballing mind in the world. Uber did a similar thing when they stole trade secrets for driverless cars from Waymo by hiring their guy and making him bring his USB sticks. The Lyon owner sees an opp to hire in a guy with a great rep in the game, that is hungry, who could deliver unreal off the ball movement, beautiful free-flowing attacking football and maybe success. Worth a punt.
I could look silly for the above, but wh0 cares, glory is in the moment, internetting like a powerhouse is all about the hunting down of the win of the day… I just caught a 50 pounder and it has an overpowering smell of SMUG. If I lose later on, I’ll just delete this post and change my story.
Let’s end on some sympathetic lolz… Chelsea played a friendly and lost Loftus-Cheek to an injury. My Chelsea pal says he’s been their second best player over the past 6 months, coming up with goals and assists. What a terrible blow to their chances… never fuck with Unai in the Europa would be my learning, bad juju… but really, what a wildly shit decision by Chelsea to play a friendly at this time of the season. Mad, mad, mad.
Right, that’s me done. Meet me in the comments to kiss the ring and apologise for your insolence on Arteta last summer.
BIG LOVE x
P.S. Sad NYC Gooner news. Barleycorn closed down because the floor collapsed next door to it… and the Bling Pig also closed. O’Hanolons, Smithfield Hall and Roebling is where it’s at now. Where are people watching Europa? Let me know!