You know when people are like, ‘Christmas has started because the Pret Christmas Latte just dropped’ or something nauseatingly basic like that? The football equivalent is, ‘you know summer has started when Ornstein drops a bombshell that Arsenal will be shite in the transfer window.’

He’s only gone and done it AGAIN.

Top level: ‘It’s going to be a bit bland’

If we lose against Chelsea, £40m is our starting point.

We’re going project youth with a bit of experience (same as last summer).

We want a centre back, an Aaron replacement, and a winger type entity.

Additionally, if there is an extra special deal, we’ll chase a left back, right back and a striker.

ARSENAL WILL NOT BREACH FFP

Thank fuck for the last snippet, I know there’s been a lot of grumblings in the community of late about making sure we don’t EVER break a single rule, right now, I’m just letting off a massive sigh of THANK FUCK that we’re going to play it safe.

So what to make of this goss fest?

Well, don’t wet those panties you absolute man child. Also, why are you wearing panties? Grow up and step away from your mum’s lingerie drawer you 35-year-old freak. Get your 2001 Beano branded specials on and let’s dive into the mixer like peak Bobby P against Pompey.

If we are a Europa League club, blasting money away isn’t sensible. The MIGHTY Swiss Ramble has some analysis on how badly we’ve been rocked by the step-down.

So the benefits of qualifying for the Champions League over the Europa League are clear. As it stands, English CL clubs have earned well over twice as much as EL clubs – even though 2 have reached the final:#LFC €107m#THFC €102m#MUFC €93m#MCFC €93m#CFC €40m#AFC €36m pic.twitter.com/r82tADlaaN

— Swiss Ramble (@SwissRamble) May 13, 2019

We have a lot of expensive dross in the squad and I’d imagine Stan is asking Raul to realign the wage bill and move on the shite before we start going nuts again. £235m a year in wages is outrageous for the return.

Secondly, there’s some heated debate over whether the Ornstein budget figure is right. Some say we’re hiding our improved financial success, some say the number is what it is.

This is Gambon from the comments on where the new cash is coming from.

💰New club level seats £5m

💰Adidas £30m

💰Emirates 12m

💰Visit Rwanda £10m

💰New TV deal £10m

I’ve heard the lower number since November, and I’d say if we were looking at a £100m starting point, we’d have loosened the purse strings in January. Telling that we didn’t do that, isn’t it?

It’ll be interesting to see how hard we go at freeing up cash this summer. Mustafi and Xhaka should surely be heading for the exit door, there should be £70m incoming for those two alone. Auba is being linked to Madrid for £85m. Love him to bits, he’s helped shape our season, but he’s 29 so don’t be sentimental about this. The biggest travesty of the latter years of Arsene is his hoarding of players. We need to learn how to sell at peak, he’s hit peak, so we should absolutely take that cash if it’s on offer and invest like Liverpool did when they earned a big windfall. I’d take losing a 29-year-old versus having to lose a kid to find the next step.

Also, don’t moan at me and starting bleating on that he’s our best player… who did you vote for in the Arsenal Player of the Season Award?

What?

Speak up?

Thought so.

You hypocritical disgrace.

Drop transfer exits like I’ve laid out and you’re at £190m for spending power. You can buy many nice toys with cash like that. Then think of all the other players we could shift on… Elneny, Chambers, Mikhi, Jenks… there’s £30m in that mix.

Basically, don’t read into the £40m like that’s as far as the summer goes. It simply says to me that selling players is key to a hype summer execution.

Cut away all of the speculation, which could be spot on, or it could be really badly wrong (Ornstein had us with a £100m budget in January), the real story for me is that Edu only has an offer on the table, he hasn’t said yes.

Emery and Raul are at the wheel. We know they like sniffing around that bargain section. They’re the footballing equivalent of yellow sticker sandwich eaters. They don’t even like medium rare beef and Stilton… but if that sticker says 26p, it’s in the basket, no questions asked. Denis Suarez was a brown banana that was found under the fridge, the yellow sticker was just bants… but someone bought it, you know who? Yep. Yep.

So our summer is going to happen without the future architect of the club sailing the ship. Sven, love him or hate him, helped navigate us away from players like Banega, Nzonzi, Malcolm, and Denis Suarez. What is going to happen now? I like Cagigao, he sourced Santi, Bellerin and Cesc… but how much power will he be given?

Emery isn’t good at spending money if you look at some of the players he’s been responsible for in the past, he likes old and slow… or just utterly Suarezy. Raul wouldn’t be hiring a TD if he knew how to build a squad. Seems like a recipe for expensive mistakes. It looks like we’re going to head into next season without a vision or direction again. It’s spend and hope. I hate that. It is never going to work when those above us are driving towards an exciting vision mapped to a plan (Not Chelsea, lolololol).

Hopefully, I’m wrong. Nkunku looks a player when I’ve watched him. Djené has a lot of hype around him and £13.5m seems a bargain. However, there’s a bad stench of Rabiot-to-Arsenal everywhere you read, the guy has a piss poor attitude and didn’t like Emery last time around. Then I worry we’ll rekindle bland dreams of the past, Perisic or Carrasco are weighing heavily on my mind. Players past their prime, or with Ozil like attitudes to the game.

I don’t want to fuck about with talent that has temperament issues. Just give me young prime meat that wants to explode onto the scene. £75k a week or less. No mega contracts that make them fat and lazy. Let’s operate on a lean model and make sure hunger is central to their MO… just like it is at Spurs. I read a Poch article the other week that said he loved the players who want to leave because they care about success, be wary of those who thrive in comfort. Who is begging to leave Arsenal? Says a lot… right? A few too many just in it for the cashed paycheque.

Anyway, a real mixed back. Needless to say, summer will be busy. x

P.S. Souness and Keane FURIOUS that once again, they are proved wrong by a foreigner with better ideas of how the game should be played (tackles number). Arteta helping to architect one of the smartest off the ball sides the Premier League has ever seen, I’m welling up everyone, someone pass me a tissue, so emosh.