Emery DESTROYS Valencia

by & filed under News Review.

via @Arsenal Instagram LOVE THESE TWO

Another Europa night, another devastating pummelling of a prestige team.

The big man in charge, Sir Unai Emery, inflicted defeat over Valencia in a pretty poor match at The Emirates.

Unai opted for what some thought was an attacking formation, with some thinking it was defensive. I thought it looked like a 3-5-2 at home, with 7 defensive players on the pitch, with a view to keeping a clean sheet for the second leg. Others thought it looked like a wrecking machine with two strikers and Ozil free to create havoc.

Havoc we created. The opening 20 minutes were straight out of the dustbin. Matteo and Xhaka were all over the place, the defence was getting pulled every which way and there was no intensity to our play. We even managed to concede from a setpiece (which is pretty rare), a long ball to the back post was nodded back into the mixer, Xhaka was nowhere and he was beaten to ball by Diakhaby who headed home.

The Swiss really isn’t fit for purpose… it makes me so sad that when he has a few ok games and all the usual suspects revert back to him being peak-Gilberto when it comes to football enigmas. He’s not. He’s bang average. There is nothing smart in the long-form editorial suck up pieces that lambast social media obsessed millennials who just don’t understand the beautiful game because they can’t see the beauty in Xhaka. Football fans are OBSESSED with other fans who celebrate shit players in militant fashion because it’s so bizarre, you worry you truly are missing something. You’re not. You weren’t with Senderos. You weren’t with Denilson. You’re not with Xhaka. Move on.

Up the other end, 7 minutes later, Lacazette played a perfectly weighted ball to Auba, he cut back and gave his buddy the gift of an open goal from ten yards. What a gentleman. I love those two. If they had a child, it’d be one helluva striker… would probs dress nice too.

7 minutes later, Xhaka showed why the usual suspects menace themselves to bedroom posters of his radar maps. He whipped a beautiful first-time diagonal ball into the box, Lacazette made a yard on his centre back and headed into the ground, the keeper claimed the ball didn’t cross the line but the refs watch buzzed… techhhhhhnology wins again. Xhaka… what a cross, I really think if you ignore the OTT critique of Xhaka, there’s a great player in there, I guess some people just don’t get it.

The second half just didn’t feel particularly smart. We were chasing the third goal and leaving Laurent Kos and Sokratis completely exposed on the counter. It was really tough to watch, Cech kept us in the tie when he denied Kevin Gameiro with a great block. Kos nursed an injury for as long as he could before limping off, we really have to pray he’s going to be ok. That block where he threw his head at a foot late on was something else.

Late on, Kola found Auba at the back post on a tight angle, the ball was struck awkwardly but crept in at the near post. A real shame most fans had gone home by that point. A sad indictment of the fans? The drab football? The Europa League? Who knows.

3-1. That’ll do nicely. £100m worth of strikers to the rescue. Another example of how dependent we are on superhuman finishing.

There’s no point in analysing the game too much. The football was awful, we looked a mess, but we did the job. We’ll shithouse ourselves to the final and then it’s a coin toss… and there’s no manager that knows this trophy as well as Unai.

Whatever my thoughts on his long-term future, watching him twitching out on the sidelines shows how much passion he has for the project. When that third goal landed at the end, he lost his damn mind. It’s great to see. He’s a hard worker, a trophy in his first season would be epic, it’d be even better if we didn’t have to play Chelsea.

Also… does a cup final count as an away game? Answers in the comments.

I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s see if we can go away from home and not concede 3 goals… not as easy as one would think.

Right, see you in the comments you total meltbags xx

878 Responses to “Emery DESTROYS Valencia”

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  1. Dissenter

    Sod off
    What are you doing here?.
    You’re not a gooner. What a wasted life you have, coming here to lounge o a rival club’s blog.

  2. Dissenter

    Shut up Poch’
    Souds should be down to eight men by now

    Now they will really be run ragged for Ajax to apply the final touch

  3. Dissenter

    Where’s Un na, the local spuds pompom waver

    I bet he’s crouched in a small corner right now 😊😊😊

  4. Bamford10


    “He’s talked height, dick size, job, character, you name it.”

    This from a guy who has talked about my job — who gives a fuck? — endlessly, and who has called me “fat” and a “yank cunt” despite not knowing me from boo. He’s probably made stupid dick-size quips as well; I’d have to go back and check.

    What a complete and utter hypocrite.

  5. Marc


    Attending matches is bloody expensive. One of the things that I like about a season ticket is you get the payment out of the way in one hit. Match day is then about travel costs and a few beers / bite to eat etc. Add £40 odd quid to the cost of the day out for a ticket and you’re looking at £70 plus easily.

    I really don’t know how someone with kids etc can afford it.

  6. Marko

    Reports of interest from Barcelona in Lacazette possible swap discuss. I like Laca but you’d be talking about a much needed boost to the warchest or the possibility of getting in someone much needed. I’ve only seen Umtiti and Andre Gomes mentioned. Given the game time of Malcom and Dembele they might could be persuaded

  7. Un na naai


    I honestly can’t say I’ve heard of the kid let alone watched him but as you know I’m an advocate for the development of home grown talent. It’s cheaper and connects with the fans in a way that the Elnenys, Ozils and Mustafis do not. I’ve got much more of an emotional stake in AMN than I do our underwhelming over seas signings. Obviously I’m not asking for a team of Carl Jenkinsons but there is talent on these isles just beefing to be hoovered up, honed and set loose. We need to be the tip of that spear now more than ever with our paltry £45m budget

  8. Just Another Customer

    Guns of HACKney must be seething right now.

    (((OH NO NO NO NO this can’t be happening muh special sauce and pizzaz, our best squad ever la, muh new stadium.)))

  9. Champagne Charlie


    I don’t care what he’s said moron, he’s free to be as laughably wrong as he likes. I was jesting with Dissenter that he has a crush, keep up.

  10. Bamford10


    No, he thinks you’re full of shit and a bully, and he calls you out on it. He’s right, and he goes about it without resorting to insults bullying (your domain).

  11. Champagne Charlie


    I don’t care what some stranger on the internet thinks. Yea, I’m a bully for not tolerating shit off of faceless folk like you. You’ve already laid it out on here numerous times, change the record you fucking sped.

  12. Marko

    Understandably Rabiot hasn’t moved because apparently they’re insisting on the mother getting paid millions. Being a mummy’s boy is costing him

  13. Leftsidesanch

    B’mouth do not look like taking advantage which would be pitiful given the circumstances

  14. gambon

    If Bournemouth can’t beat a 9 man Spurs I am committing ritual suicide at full time.

    I will bludgeon Unais USB stick collection into my eye sockets.

  15. Un na naai


    Says you ya little pussy. Talking of dog piling, you and your motley crew of effeminate lady boys consistently nip away at TR7 Pierre and Charlie George who never swear, never insult, never stoop to your level. You’ve been mugged off all week by anyone with sense, even Pedro and Gambon have owned you.

    You’re a jellyfish Bamford.

  16. Un na naai

    Where’s Un na, the local spuds pompom waverI bet he’s crouched in a small corner right now 😊😊😊


    Actually chuffed to bits. We aren’t in contention for the champions league but we are for 3rd place and this plays nicely into our hands. Pray that the chavs drop points and that emery doesn’t revert to type AGAIN.

  17. Freddie Ljungberg


    I thought Rabiot fired his mom after the Barca debacle? The move to Madrid fell through as well so he’s still up for grabs, if we can get CL we have a chance. Even with the rumoured 15m signing on fee he’s a bargain, we’re not getting anyone better in for twice the price.

  18. Dissenter

    Rabiot’s reputation is not a secret anymore. I hear he’s seeking a 300k weekly wages and the mother want’s to seal her pension with this free transfer deal.

  19. Marko

    Can I get in on that ritual suicide. I’m thinking sound bites of Arsene Wenger till my ears bleed out and videos of Xhaka’s defending till I gouge my eyes out

  20. bennydevito

    PedroMay 3, 2019    19:53:25

    Benny, it’s a nice theory… but it doesn’t really map with the narrative.

    Emery came in with a masterplan that apparently blew everyone away
    He said we’d be protagonists
    He said he’d sort the defence
    He said he’d make us mentally stronger

    Hard to see where he’s made an impact anywhere.

    What we needed was a coach… what we got, it appears, is a chequebook manager who is struggling to deliver on his objectives.

    PedroMay 3, 2019    19:54:13

    Not only that… but your theory is a busted flush anyway… Emery has less money to spend this summer.

    Arsenal had to hire a coach who could make the players better and work with a little.



    I’ve only just had chance to get back to this.

    You’ve thrown me.

    I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said above and I have since come around and openly agreed.

    My gripe was you saying Emery made unnecessary changes in the Palace game that proved he’s prioritising the EL.

    My reply was, again like previous times to you making this statement was that the Palace selection was forced by injuries and suspension. It’s a fact.

    What you’ve posted in reply is a complete curveball that had nothing to do with my disputing your stance that Emery deliberately fielded a weakened team against Palace.

    He didn’t.

  21. Dissenter

    Bournemouth are really shite
    They are playing 9 men like it’s still 11 vs 11.
    Spuds should even have up to 10% possession again if Eddie Howe knows what he’s doing.

  22. Marko

    Freddie I don’t know if he properly got rid of the bitch but apparently he’s insisting on her getting a fee for deciding where he moves. He’s a giant pussy for letting her fuck his career up so much

  23. Bamford10


    Insulting someone isn’t “owning” them. If you paid closer attention to the arguments — instead of the insults — you’d see that it is quite the other way around.

    Further, I am not a part of some gang-up on this or that person team. Indeed, I am often unfairly hanged-up on. And I don’t resort to crude and petty insults, as you (“pussy!” and certain others do.

    So, ummm, no.

  24. Champagne Charlie

    Look forward to the breakdown of why one of these so-called “good teams” middle of the league aren’t yet cunting 9-man Spurs like they have 11-man Arsenal…

    Bournemouth same points as Palace currently.

  25. Bamford10


    They can’t even identify the XI he should have played in that match, and this because he had no other real options.

    Their argument is completely devoid of substance.

  26. Un na naai


    Yes you do. I’ve seen you insult people countless times.
    You told CG to crawl under his rock, called Pedro stupid, I’ve seen you call posters a Cunt.

    Pull the other one Lord Jellyfish

  27. Leftsidesanch

    Spurs can defend against these inadequate attacks all day, ponderous in position with very slow build up.

    Where have I seen this before?

  28. Freddie Ljungberg

    UN na

    How else is CG going to get under his rock? Bamford is just being helpful giving directions, we all know CG is not all there.

  29. Marc

    Bournemouth just need that little bit of quality in the final third.

    Get a goal and it might force the Spud’s to chase a little harder.

  30. Un na naai


    As I did yesterday it’s not so much about the selection as it is the tactics, motivation and set up implemented.
    The team selection for palace should have been enough to win. There was no drive and no link to the forwards. No passion. No commitment. That comes from the manager. It wasn’t there against palace but it was v Valencia

  31. Bamford10


    Better, maybe you could explain to us why Spurs are struggling with 14th place Bournemouth?

  32. TR7

    ‘Bournemouth giving Spurs a hard time is yet more proof of what we have been saying: the PL has improved; teams 7-13 are good teams and tricky fixtures.’

    Well, it’s nothing new. I don’t think there has ever been a season in PL.in which teams placed in 7-13 position bracket have been pushovers. They often give most teams a good game. As for Bournemouth, Spurs had 4 to 5 chances to score before Son was wrongly sent off.

  33. Marko

    Look forward to the breakdown of why one of these so-called “good teams” middle of the league aren’t yet cunting 9-man Spurs like they have 11-man Arsenal…

    Wouldn’t say that if Wenger was still in charge. Funnily enough Big Weng had an embarrassing draw and an even more embarrassing defeat at Bournemouth the last two seasons

  34. Bamford10


    Oh, I see, so Pedro and others (who criticized his selection) are wrong. It’s about Emery’s “tactics, motivation and set up“. OK, care to tell us how he got his set-up and tactics wrong? Further, what evidence do you have that the players were less motivated than they should have been, and what evidence do you have that this is on the manager and not on fatigue or other factors? Do explain.

  35. Un na naai


    Wether he is or isn’t he’s still just a man giving his opinion of a football team. He never resorts the bitch fest precedent set by Marko and Bamford so why the multi pointed assaults? Because he wants British players at arsenal? Because he liked Wenger? Hardly justified.

  36. Dissenter

    B’mouth are not good at all
    Any team that cannot break down 9 men at home is deep level shite. It’s like Eddie Howe just got a brain freeze

  37. Champagne Charlie


    Nice try, what did I happen to call Marc yesterday exactly? I was called a short arse fucking cunt, though I’m sure you’ve kept right up with matters before playing lecturer.

    Also this was you about 20 mins ago..

    “You’re the guy who acts like a dickhead here, not Marc.” Lol moron.

    Why are Spurs struggling? Maybe because they have 9 men. 30 years of following football and you don’t understand the basic principles?

  38. Ishola70

    If Spurs go down here it will be their 6th on the spin EPL defeat away. Six defeats in a tidy row.

    Lost to Southampton. Lost to Burnley.

  39. Marc


    Arsenal fans are rightly fucked off with 3 points from 15. It does get glossed over that the Spud’s recently had a run of 1 from 15 and they shouldn’t have managed a draw in that match.

  40. Un na naai


    Plainly, our team is better than their team. Even our second string combined is better than their team. Had our starting 11 been drilled properly and motivated to play to their full potential we’d not have conceded 3 goals to a mid table team. You’re a coach guy, surely you know this?

    Also, the old fatigue excuse wasn’t accepted last season or any before so why is it acceptable now? We’ve played a second team in the LC and EL for the first half of the season. Played two games in the FA cup and was knocked out so this squad has only really had the Prem and 5 EL knock out games. Hardly on our arses

  41. Rambo Ramsey

    Marc, keep up the work on Charlie. I’ve enjoyed watching him squirm like the crybaby he is.

  42. Leftsidesanch

    Resigned to a point or Spuds even nicking it, Bmouth have been appaling this afternoon in the final third.

  43. Un na naai

    Why are Spurs struggling? Maybe because they have 9 men. 30 years of following football and you don’t understand the basic principles?

    Bamford has been bent over and had his pants pulled down again. Glutton for it that fella

  44. Bamford10


    “You told CG to crawl under his rock, called Pedro stupid”

    Again, I never called Pedro “stupid,” and this is at least the second time you have blatantly lied about me here. (The other is your false claim that I once said I was going to start supporting Madrid.) I don’t know if these false claims are deliberate — and you’re just dishonest — or the result of a bad memory, but they’re nonetheless false and lame.

    As for CG and this alleged “rock” comment, I don’t remember saying that, but the guy has said some pretty backwards things.

    It is customary here to produce the quote when you accuse someone of having said something. Care to produce this quote? It shouldn’t be that hard to find if you’re right about this. Or should we just conclude that this is simply another bogus claim on your part?

  45. Marc


    He is quite funny. It’s a bit like a yapping little dog having a go at everyone in sight and then whining when he gets bitten.

  46. Dissenter

    Don’t ever mention Eddie Howe among any English managers with prospect of managing a bigger team.

    To think Pedro even mentioned him for Arsenal;

  47. Ishola70


    “It does get glossed over that the Spud’s recently had a run of 1 from 15 and they shouldn’t have managed a draw in that match.”

    Yeah they are crawling to the end of the season.

  48. Un na naai

    Look forward to the breakdown of why one of these so-called “good teams” middle of the league aren’t yet cunting 9-man Spurs like they have 11-man Arsenal…Wouldn’t say that if Wenger was still in charge. Funnily enough Big Weng had an embarrassing draw and an even more embarrassing defeat at Bournemouth the last two seasons


    Way to move the goal posts there but I feel it necessary to point out that Arsene Wenger was not managing arsenal for those games. It was emery. He threw the points. 1/10 for effort though

  49. Champagne Charlie

    You got sin binned for calling Pete daft, then you had fanny convulsions on twitter over it.

    You’re being egged on by Rambo Ramsey, let that sink in mate before you go around high fiving strangers in the street.

  50. Champagne Charlie


    Wouldn’t say it about Wenger because it was clear he wasn’t up to snuff. It’s the fact Emery is still being propped up by dafties like yourself despite dropping Wenger-like clangers. Talk about consistency and agenda.

    LOL poor Spurs.

  51. Marko

    Wouldn’t say it about Wenger because it was clear he wasn’t up to snuff. It’s the fact Emery is still being propped up by dafties like yourself despite dropping Wenger-like clangers. Talk about consistency and agenda

    I didn’t mention Emery once what does it have to do with him. It’s about you being a hypocrite with your pissing and moaning these days while you were quiet as a mouse under “Big Weng”. Speaking of Big Weng how pathetic must you be to coin a nickname like that for the man. Like you knew him personally. Jaysus that was embarrassing

  52. Leftsidesanch

    Marc, he was always going to conveniently omit that.

    Who does he actually support? Us or Spuds/Poch

  53. TR7


    Poch is in my view one of the top 3 managers in the world. Losing a game by one goal with 2 men down is not going to change my opinion on him.

  54. Joe

    How costly is the Aubu penalty miss now. Said At the time that it could cost us top 4.

    We’d be only one point back with a match in hand going into Brighton.

  55. gambon

    Fairly good chance of Everton getting a draw next Sunday.

    We absolutely have to give it everything tomorrow.

  56. gambon


    Not true at all.

    If Auba scores that pen, every subsequent result for both us and Spurs would be different.

  57. Dissenter


    Just messing with you
    You’re one of the gentlemen here [assuming you’re male of course]
    You’re entitled to your opinion

  58. Rambo Ramsey

    Pochettini the messaih.

    Best case scenario: He finishes a couple points ahead of Arsenal. In Unai Emery’s very first season in English football having to work with the stench Wenger left behind.

  59. Leftsidesanch

    The way Spurs are playing they could even lose next week.

    If Palace win tonight then Brighton and Burnley are safe which could work in our favour.

    Its basically game on from 3rd-6th place.

  60. Champagne Charlie


    You brought Wenger into the convo out of nowhere when the topic was Arsenal under Emery. You’re absolutely lost, “big Weng” has been used by Pedro numerous times in jest you spanner. You’d know that if you stopped fixating on the same posters nutsacks.

    That’s you in a nutshell, doesn’t bother with the subject of the debate, it’s all about drawing it back and drawing it back so you can criticise something.

  61. Un na naai

    Jaysus that was embarrassing


    Nearly as bad as claiming emery coaching his defence was fanciful…..you’ll never live that one down

  62. Dissenter

    Spurs don’t have Son next week
    They will get walloped by Ajax on Wednesday

    Everton have been on the up and have something to play for- EL place.

    It’s all up in the air provided we do our business.

  63. Un na naai

    Wenger is 6,3

    Hence, big weng. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that, wait oh…. it’s marko

  64. Rambo Ramsey

    TR7 also thinks Phd420 is one of the top posters here. So one might be inclined to think his understanding of the word ‘top’ might not be the same as most others

  65. Dissenter

    That Bournemouth goalie is very good…for a 19 year old on his debut.

    Not even his saves…it’s his assurance and utter confidence

  66. Marc

    Many don’t believe in the football Gods but 10 minutes ago it’s was chucking it down where I live. Suddenly I’ve got gorgeous sunshine and blue skies.

  67. Redtruth

    “If Auba scores that pen, every subsequent result for both us and Spurs would be different.”

    We’d be 9 points clear of Spurs

  68. Marko

    Poch is in my view one of the top 3 managers in the world. Losing a game by one goal with 2 men down is not going to change my opinion on him.

    How about zero trophies in his whole career? Who’s the top 3 by the way? It’d be extraordinary to hold him so high while others who have won and still win trophies are below him

  69. Just Another Customer

    Fucking hell by the look of the comments everyday is Joke Friday now XDDDDD

    Thanks lad for keeping me (in)sane love you all xxx

    Bet the gg9 or Oirish won’t envision this kind of stuff 11 years back tho

    Miss the Grizzly Bear Geoff too where is he now? I went sabbatical too but will he come back again?

  70. Marc


    It’s not that anyone thinks you should relegate the Poch out of your top 3 for losing today. It’s more a question of how the fuck he got there in the first place.

  71. gambon

    Such a great weekend of football.

    Cardiff v Palace is a huge game for us.

    UTD not winning would be ideal.

  72. Un na naai


    Di Matteo won the champion league in 6 months at Chelsea
    Trophies aren’t always the best indicator of a coach’s talents in the ascendancy of his career
    Poch will win trophies at his next club. No doubt about it

  73. Marko

    That’s you in a nutshell, doesn’t bother with the subject of the debate

    First off there was no debate (never is with you) we were talking about you being a hypocrite. Of course you waffle your way out of it.

  74. Redtruth

    “Nice to see you admit that our 22 game unbeaten run was in wenger’s image .I would say the team has reflected Emery’s image since December ….12 defeats in 5 months is confirmation of that..”

    Emery has taken a poorly equiped squad on the brink of Europa Cup glory

  75. Un na naai

    Suddenly I’ve got gorgeous sunshine and blue skies.

    Not lived in England long then??

  76. Valentin

    I can see what Frazer is bringing to Bournemouth: lots of very good crosses to their strikers. I am not sure whether he would work for Arsenal. Our strikers can’t head the ball and don’t have the height to convincingly and regularly beat to the ball tall defenders. Unless we purchased another big striker, he would just cross for the opposition.

  77. Un na naai

    JamieMay 4, 2019 14:36:49
    I think they meant “Poch is a top 33 manager” like Ramsey “is a top 33 midfielder..”

    Hahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂

    Top marks for that one Jamie

  78. Marc

    The most positive thing for us today is how late on Bournemouth scored.

    The Spud’s were so close to holding out for what would’ve been a good result in the circumstances.

    That’s going to be a really miserable journey home.

  79. Un na naai

    Emery has taken a poorly equiped squad on the brink of Europa Cup glory


    That’s in no way a response to the pint being argued dopey bollocks

  80. Un na naai

    Emery has taken a poorly equiped squad on the brink of Europa Cup glory


    That’s in no way a response to the point being argued dopey bollocks

  81. Champagne Charlie


    Debate was clear as day. I was responding to the calls that the last 3 teams we got spanked by are “good teams”, yet Spurs just lost 1-0 with 9 men against one of them.

    It’s a nod to management, how we don’t see any under Emery and the difference it makes. Sorry it wasn’t spelled out for you, I know how you struggle with basic sentences as is.

  82. TR7


    PhD/SDE/Kiyoshi has been posting here since 2009 or perhaps even before. I am not sure whether you have followed his work from the very beginning. He has extensive knowledge of the game and he has an enviable writing style. Quality of his rants is unmatchable when he is in his elements. He is a well read man if his views on politics, religion, history and cultures is anything to go by. People’s view on him is largely tainted by his tirades against Nasri’s Mouth, Emiratestroller and Bamford but when it comes to pure football, he is up there with the best posters on here. I don’t think I need to even make a case for Poch.

  83. Freddie Ljungberg


    actually we beat Bournemouth at home 5-1 and away 2-1.

    They are also not as athletic as the teams we struggled against, nor has as good players. Spurs also has a much better squad than us and are only 4 points ahead with 1 game more. Which manager is underperforming exactly?

  84. DaniAltos

    Spurs’ last ten away games:

    ❌ 2-1 loss vs. Chelsea
    ❌ 2-0 loss vs. Palace
    ❌ 2-1 loss vs. Burnley
    ❌ 2-0 loss vs. Chelsea
    ✅ 1-0 win vs. Dortmund
    ❌ 2-1 loss vs. Southampton
    ❌ 2-1 loss vs. Liverpool
    ❌ 4-3 loss vs. City
    ❌ 1-0 loss vs. City
    ❌ 1-0 loss vs. Bournemouth

    You would think that Legrove pundits would celebrate the bad away form of our bitter rivals,but no,instead their manager is deemed as ‘sauce’ and ‘pizzzaz’ lol