Eur-Emery-opa League time!

by & filed under News Review.

Loved all the tepid takes last night post the Barca victory.

‘GUARDIOLA IS SHIT’ (Do what?!)

‘IT WAS MESSI THAT WON IT’

‘KLOPP IS A FRAUD’

Messi is a great player, he’s a difference maker, but he didn’t alone keep one of the most potent attacking forces in world football at bay for 90minutes. This bullshit notion it’s all about him doesn’t rub against the facts. They’ve won the CL twice since 2010. If they make the final this year, it’s good management, and an excellent squad.

Also: Guardiola isn’t a shit manager. He’s one of the best in the game. If you don’t understand that, you’ve spent too much time following accounts of teenagers named @Xhakologist⁸ ⁹.

Saying the most outrageous thing you can think of in the moment isn’t analysis. Also, you know the other accounts I detest?

‘Laurent Koscielny has been with the club 10 years. He gave his best moments to the project because he believed. He’s never complained once. He put his body on the line, he did that for you, because he loves you. His mere presence is an intimate moment, he is your soulmate, but remember, he’ll always ask permission before he touches your heart. xxx’

Faux Twitter badge kissing makes me want to vomit, come at me with real authenticity, not this cooked up romanticised bullshit. If that’s you liking the posts, tell a friend what you did and deal with the consequences you utter disgrace.

ANOTHER THING, stop nostalgiarising (NEW WORD) the bland Arsene Wenger comments he keeps dropping in TV appearances. The man literally said there was too much science in the game and that fatigue is nonsense.

Remember all the drips telling me the redzone didn’t exist? That Wenger would never run a player into the ground? When the manager blamed his injury crisis on hair pills? There you have it, in black and white, being celebrated by people on Twitter with comments like, ‘I miss my daddy.’

What is it with the cucks?

LOOK AT THIS ONE! Coaches don’t cost you games? ARE YOU KIDDING? And what are the commenters saying?

‘Look at that man in those sexy black rimmed glasses’

WHAT! He is trying to defend his last 10 years by saying he was a £10m a year irrelevance EVEN THOUGH he bought the shite players, and you want to talk about his glasses?

Honestly, I need to tap out of the internet for a bit.

Also… Klopp isn’t a fraud, regardless of the trophy issue. I know it’s fun to say it, but you need to grow up, ok?

Liverpool had a rough night, let’s all calm down and wait until next week to pop the ‘thank fuck the UNBEARABLE scousers didn’t win something’ Tizer or whatever those reprobates drink these days.

The big night is always Thursday night. We all know this.

Two giants of football step foot into the Emirates cauldron to save a season that has flipped over the central reservation into on-coming tractors (a metaphor for shit teams, I know, it was clunky).

Thankfully for Emery, the game is at home.

That means progressive Arsenal. We ‘should’ see a performance. This is Emery’s trophy and he’s going to need to do everything he can to give us a commanding first-leg lead against a side we really should comfortably beat if we put out a proper side.

This Valencia side isn’t exactly brimming with talent like it was when Bayern Munich avenged their Champions League failure of 1999 with a penalty shootout victory over Hector Cuper’s side in 2001.

Remember the names? John Carew… the original Drogba. A player who was actually a bit average imo, but a towering man-beast who terrified our players and put us out of Europe twice. Pablo Aimar, Roberto Ayala, Gaika Mendieta, and Santiago Canizares! Remember when Claudio Lopez was a thing? Teamtalk classic when he was linked to us! Thems were the days…

Anyway, right now, it’s not quite as sexy… Coquelin and Gabriel are a thing. Mustafi made his name in the white shirt of Valencia. Gary Neville crashed his rep taking a job with them. Need I say more? Their top scorer this year is centre mid Dani Parejo with 9 goals in 33 games, followed Rodrigo who is a striker and has 5 in 30.

… so someone in their side is getting a hattrick tomorrow. Amirite?!

I am hoping that they’ll be as weak as Napoli. They’re 6th in their league, with 52 points from 35 games. They’ve only conceded 32 goals compared to our 49. So their problem is a lack of goals… which is like, the perfect connect for our back 5.

I have no idea what to expect. The leaks in the press this week don’t bode well for a happy camp, nor do the three losses on the bounce. But, this is a cup game, it’s a big European night and the Champions League spot for the players is worth a small fortune on a personal level. It’s in their interest to do something great.

DO IT LADS.

I truly think we’ll qualify for the Champions League this year because Emery has consistently demonstrated a knack for having things fall his way… it’s just how it’s going to be.

Wouldn’t it be delicious if he won a trophy before that FRAUD, Jurgen Klopp?

It would.

Right, see you in the comments… COME ON ARSENAL!

P.S. Read my post from yesterday if you didn’t… took me fucking ages (READ)

P.P.S Aaron Ramsey is done at Arsenal. He bowed out with a hamstring injury that came with complications.

Elite levels of poetry in that exit.

P.P.P.S Thank you to Alfred for telling me that ‘pep’ is pepper. Took a Swede to make it right. That’s how fucked our education system is these days, the English are all thick as pig shit. #VoteCorbyn

 

957 Responses to “Eur-Emery-opa League time!”

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  1. MidwestGun

    Hahaha we have all said stuff on here we regret… or turns out to be kind of stupid. That’s what happens when you have an opinion. Not many people are right 100% of the time.. Except of course Pierre … he is a tactical genius apparently and gets it 100% right every time and knows the exact setup we should play and the exact lineups. Except for when Wenger was manager then of course Arsene knows best.

    I once started a campaign to get Balotelli as our #1 striker. To be fair we were desperate for a striker. And I was sick of Sanogoal and Giroud and Wenger pretending like everything was ok in the striker department. But I think I might have had too much to drink then. I underestimated Balotelli’s insanity level.

    Europa League is an important tourny as a stepping stone and trophy credibility. Also it creates a culture of winning stuff. However, If we win it and do fuck all with the winnings and don’t improve next year it won’t mean much. Kind of like winning the FA Cup then doing nothing in the League the next season. To me winning the League is everything.. CL is even secondary to that even though you get a ton of revenue off of it and gain more fans which gives you more revenue. And more revenue gives you better players in theory.

  2. Ishola70

    Yes of course but he also irritated people at the same time just as he did at the World Cup in what can be seen as his selfish blinkered play and not just the diving.

    The same used to be said of Ronaldo when he was younger wasn’t it.

  3. WengerEagle

    There’s a reason why Bamford was literally unanimously mocked on here for his barmy take.

    Shameless to have the nerve to not just slide past the Neymargate rib without doubling down on it/revising history.

  4. Marko

    The claim about the past was that he hadn’t proven he could be the decisive player in the biggest matches.

    Yes and you were proven wrong.

    The claim about the future was that he would generate a lot of talk prior to the tournament but would disappoint. I was correct.

    Not really what we were talking about at the time though.

    I was saying that he hadn’t shown he can be the decisive player on the field in the biggest matches.

    Again you were shown to be wrong. We didn’t just give examples of games that he scored in they were games that he was quite clearly decisive in. That you failed to grasp that is perhaps on your inability to understand football in all honesty

  5. MidwestGun

    I take “Yank” as a compliment .. just means y’all are still bitter over us dumping some tea in the harbor 250 years ago.. You would think you would get over it by now. 😀

  6. salparadisenyc

    Neymar fucked it by club hopping to PSG, he may single handedly kill the owners interest in that club leaving it high n dry.

    To say he’s not cultured on the pitch and able to turn a game on its side in the most extreme fashion is false. The kid oozes footie like few in the game do at moment, those can be counted on hand.

  7. WengerEagle

    Careful now Marko, that (not knowing football) was the below the belt ‘insult’ IIRC.

    Not calling us every swear word in his limited adult insult vocab.

  8. Marko

    What was it King cunt of cuntland or something. I mean the whole thing is pointless and would have been forgotten about instantly but this inability to admit to admit that he was wrong and insistence that he was right when he clearly wasn’t is ridiculous

  9. salparadisenyc

    MBappe .. is everything and like Ronaldo, Messi, Ibra and Trezeguet could of been a Gunner.

  10. salparadisenyc

    He’s touching the top 5 but currently on second hand for me falling somewhere in the 5th to 10th.

  11. Words on a Blog

    Time to call out dickhead know-it-all poster Words on a Blog with his deeply flawed equation that calculated that there was a 75% probability of Arsenal losing to Valencia tonight if both Mustafi and Guendouzi were playing!

    Emery 1 – Words 0

  12. Champagne Charlie

    Weagle

    Messi
    Ronaldo

    Mbappe
    Neymar
    Hazard when he wants it

    Suarez
    Salah
    Bale

    He’s got to be in the running at this point irrespective of age. Def sitting in cat 2, which is really cat 1 considering there’s two outliers.

  13. MidwestGun

    Words –
    Don’t worry about it.. it was a good call. Sadly I think we gonna see a lot of Mustafi on the run in.. Kos looked like an old man hobbling around in the second half. But Mustafi still got his bone headed play quota in.

  14. salparadisenyc

    When listed out, he’s likely ahead of Suarez and in for me.

    Messi
    CR7
    Neymar
    Hazard
    Salah / Mbappe.

    Poor Dybala needs a new lease on life to find himself, thought he be up here couple years ago.

  15. Words on a Blog

    MidWest,

    You’re right, tragically, still a few more matches with Mustafi featuring….

    With all the rancorous debate ongoing, and likely to carry through and intensify in the summer, about whether the squad is top 4 quality, top 6 quality, good enough or shittier than Huddersfield’s, I’ve decided to make my life easier and largely stay out of it….

    I’m gonna simply have one simple measure of whether Arsenal has improved its squad during the summer transfer window: has Mustafi been shipped out?

    If the club is successful in moving him along, and regardless of who comes in to replace him, I shall declare that the transfer window has been a rotating success and vociferously cut down (a la Champagne Charlie) anyone who dares insinuate that we don’t have a truly excellent squad.

  16. Leedsgunner

    Everyone knows why Neymar moved to PSG. He wanted to be the main man at a club… expected to win the UEFA Champions League… so that he could win the Ballon d’Or.

    Except it hasn’t worked out that way. 😂 😂 😂

    If it turns out to be a Barcelona versus Ajax final, and Barcelona win, Lionel Messi is surely next winner. In fact, even if Ajax wins Lionel Messi will be a strong contender. Although if Ajax does win, Neymar will be seen more and more as yesterday’s man with De Jong and de Ligts will overtake him as more likely to win the Ballon D’or before he will.

    Not that I’m shedding any tears for him mind. He and his advisors tried to play the system and it has blown up in his face.

  17. MidwestGun

    I think Mbappe is a top 5 player.. although its close.. depends on how you rate Neymar and Hazard.. lets see for me.
    Messi
    Ronaldo
    Aguero
    Salah
    Mbappe
    Neymar
    Hazard

    Or something like that.

  18. Leedsgunner

    Yesterday was again proof that we are too dependent on Lacazette and Aubameyang for goals… which makes us extremely vulnerable. Teams know if they can cut out the chances and channels to our strikers they will gain something from the game. Since we have no wingers or midfielders able to score consistently this is easy to do.

    In fact that’s what Everton, Wolves and Leicester did really well and consequently we lost.

    This is where I find Iwobi an enigma. The boy has all the makings of an excellent winger if only he could keep his head in the final third. If the boy has an end product he would be a monster.

    He needs competition. Someone else to challenge him and push him to up his game by scoring regularly.

  19. China1

    Top 5 attacking player or top 5 player full stop?

    I’m always highly suspicious of top player lists that contain only attacking players

    Hazard is a great player but he’s not top 5 even in the PL this season imo

  20. Pedro

    Guys, I haven’t had internet for two weeks and now it’s landed and life is so fucking good.

  21. China1

    Lol nice Pedro

    I remember at uni I had down time for two weeks and the first two days were excruciating but after two or three days I suddenly stopped missing it…mostly

    Needless to say when it was finally back on and I could burn several hours a day playing street fighter online again it was pretty damn good tho

  22. China1

    Here in China they didn’t have an unlimited mobile data plan for the first four years I was here and I was paying an absolute fortune every month covering my data over usage even though I was rationing it like crazy

    Then it was the same day they introduced a £10 unlimited monthly data subscription was also the launch day of the iphoneX. Since I’d been using my iPhone 6 since launch and it was falling apart I got both the X and unlimited data on the same day and it was like a fucking dream compared to slogging through my day on data rationing using a phone that was on its death bed

  23. Dark Hei

    This is a classic Emery job.

    Play like shit and still win. Amazing how he could do it for 22 games at the start of the season.

    He is truly a nice guy Mourinho.

    I dunno how he does it but as long as we are winning games, I can put up with shit football.

  24. China1

    Good question Pedro

    Half the time it needs a vpn to work half the time it doesn’t

    The great firewall can only be described as bizarre

  25. Emiratesstroller

    The final goal scored right at the end of the game was crucial, because I do not see Valencia beating us by more than one clear goal at home and perhaps more importantly I think that we will score at least one goal against them.

    Our saving grace last night was the performance of Lacazette. Had he not played then frankly I think we could easily have lost this game.

    The defence and midfield at Arsenal were in my view pretty awful and ineffective.

    The goal we conceded was in my view as shocking as it comes. It is symptomatic of our overall fragility in the backline and lack of discipline and
    football intelligence.

    Personally if we had the money I would offload our entire defence in the transfer window and start all over again by recruiting new players, because I don’t see the current crop getting better.

    Our midfield was also not particularly impressive. I accept that Guendouzi has
    a “workrate”, but what he does is mostly fairly ineffective and he is far too easily dispossessed. Xhaka and Ozil were also not impressive and far too pedestrian in their build up and link play.

    What I do know is that we need to play Torreira in midfield. He is the one player who has a modicum of discipline and good positional sense. He may not be the tallest player on the planet, which can be a disadvantage in some games, but at least he knows what his role and position in the team should be.

    Overall I think that the two goal margin will see us through, but if we play Chelsea in final I have my doubts that we will beat them.

  26. Pierre

    stroller
    You are correct about Torriera, he knows and understands the role , his positional sense is very good.

    Guendouzi has regressed since the beginning of the season , he looks like he has lost confidence in all aspects of his play .
    He plays like the archetypal headless chicken , chasing around the pitch , making poor runs , and giving the ball away .
    He reminded me of Aaron Ramsey ( without the goal threat) though Ramsey this season has installed some discipline into his play .

    was a good result in difficult circumstances though the performance was mediocre.

    Kosielny looked like a 55 year old man ( and that’s being kind) for the last 15 minutes he was on the pitch.

    Emery was extremely fortunate that his inability to to take kosielny off when he was obviously unable to run, didn’t lead to us conceding .

    Monreal was running around like a spring chicken compared to Kosielny which made Emery’s decision to wait those 15 minutes even more baffling.

  27. Tony

    ES
    What you say makes sense and I agree Ozil was generally slow and lacking vision on the ball (cue Pierre stats) and Xhaka even worse.

    Xhaka is like having a drey carthorse in the Derby.

    That Ozil needed replacing is ridiculous made even worse that he was substituted for Mikhi who did actually try to speed the transition from midfield to the final 3rd a bit.

    Kola is just a one-trick pony with very little offerings of his final ball.

    Overall we might have done enough to get to the final, but being away at their Mestalla Stadium will not be an easy trip.

    Brighton is a must win game, not so much for the top 4 slot, but to keep the winning momentum/mentality going.

    Just got to hope Emery doesn’t play Guendouzi and Elneny again with Mustafi and Mavs behind them.

    Leno needs to play in the away leg and remaining games.

    Surely Emery has learnt by now, hasn’t he?

  28. Tony

    Re Wenger’s latest stupid ramblings you can see why Pierre loves him so much.

    2 peas in a pod making little sense with their driven agendas thinking they’re clever.

  29. Pierre

    Tony /stroller
    I agree that Ozil was generally ineffective…….we had 2 central midfielders who were poor on the ball last night, they struggled in all aspects of their play so the ball was played much too slow through the lines . Also Kolasinac was another lacking in confidence and was poor in keeping possession so it seemed to me that Ozil was our only player who took care of the ball well but generally Ozil was too pedestrian in his passing.

    Most of our decent play came on the counter and Ozil would be involved as the ball was played with pace and this enabled quick transition , however our play when in possession had no real penetration , but this is normal under Emery .

    Could be a bumpy ride in the 2nd leg , the team need a confidence building victory v Brighton as it looks at a low ebb at the moment.

  30. Pierre

    Tony
    “2 peas in a pod making little sense with their driven agendas thinking they’re clever.”

    you do realise that you could quite easily be talking about yourself…but you being so intelligent would know that ..wouldn’t you ?

  31. Goobergooner

    Pedders that was the best post I’ve read in many years of reading this blog!

    Was late to work this morning (Aus time) as I was watching the match haha. What a cracking win, great way to bounce back from a shit few weeks.

    Come on you Gunners!!!! Time for this team to grow a pair and punch above their weight for the last few games.

    I can smell the Champions league blowing upwind!

  32. Sanmi

    Xhaka was impressive yesterday. What games were you guys watching?
    He distributed the ball well.

  33. Goobergooner

    Xhaka is one of those players that is just easy to dislike. If his feet weren’t made of granite and didn’t come across as dim (in a footballing sense) and knew how to position himself properly and also how to not freak out under pressure in his own half, he may actually be a semi decent player.

    Still, if he was our backup DM/cm instead of first 11 then we would be in a way better place.

  34. Dark Hei

    It is looking increasingly likely that we will have a Chelsea-Arsenal final.

    I think we will win and qualify for CL.

    But next season I think we will crash out of the group stages.

    And we will win the Europa League again while coming in between 5-6.

    Emery’s contact will not be extended and we will get a new coach for has a start with CL football.

    Some crystal ball gazing.

  35. Goobergooner

    Dark Hei

    That isn’t a bad prediction haha.

    This TW is going to be very telling on the way the next season or two are going to play out.

    If we can bring in some actual quality in midfield and defense, and get an actual winger, our top 4 chase will move to top 3.
    If that happens I feel Emery’s contract will be extended.

    If we spend a small amount but also get in a player or 2 of pure quality, and can be in and amongst the top 4 by end of season I see Emery being given another year.

    If we are 5th or lower next season then I feel Emery’s time is up.

  36. Goobergooner

    The second and 3rd points of my last post could also depend on which other coaches of top tier calibre become available.

  37. Emiratesstroller

    Tony and Pierre

    I do think that we will reach the Final. Aubameyang’s last minute goal has probably secured that outcome.

    Whilst Valencia may win at home I think that they will struggle to beat us by two clear goals and to be honest I think that we will score.

    I was at the game and I think that most people who sit around me were of the same opinion and that is Arsenal are a very poor team with a shocking defence
    and fairly mediocre midfield.

    Our one saving grace is that we have two potent attackers when and if they get service. What I do know is Emery’s propensity to start with only one is utter
    madness. We need both to play if we have any chance of winning games.

    Ramsey is leaving this season and the idea that we can replace both him and
    Ozil in the same transfer window is unfortunately completely unrealistic.

    As I discussed with others at half time our starting eleven needs probably at least 4-5 new players, but the minimum cost of such players in today’s transfer market is at least £40-50 million per player. That is realistically £160-200 million minimum. I doubt that Arsenal will spend this summer more than £70
    million total factoring that we make some sales.

    So my viewpoint is that the team will probably get worse next season before
    we start improving. If I am being perfectly honest it would have been better
    that we do not compete in Europe, because the timetabling of our fixtures will
    be problematic with the squad we have got next season.

  38. Pierre

    Sanmi
    I thought Xhaka struggled , he looked off the pace though he improved once Torriera came on as he played closer to Xhaka to create an element of control in the middle.

    The combination of Guendouzi and Xhaka is not ideal ,it’s a similar unsuccessful pairing to Xhaka and Ramsey ( over the last 3 years) in that one of the 2 is trying to cover every inch of the pitch whilst xhaka is trying to cover the spaces that Guendouzi/Ramsey have vacated..

    Torriera and Xhaka is a much better balanced midfield in my opinion .

  39. Dark Hei

    Goober

    We are not going to get any pure quality players.

    We are going to get Europa League players and Emery’s job is to transform them into CL worthy players and sell them for big bucks.

    Basically what Wenger did between 2006 to 2011, Project Europa/Youth.

    That is the job memo from the management.

    With Wenger gone, fans are more receptive of this narrative.

  40. Emiratesstroller

    Dark Hei

    You make a valid point.

    Arsenal’s transfer budget will buy Europa League calibre players.

    Clubs like Man City, Man Utd, Chelsea and Liverpool are investing £40-70 Million+ in first team players when they buy. Our horizon is £15-30 million+
    with the occasional £40-50 million.

    The real problem is that we need a mass clear out this summer with few players generating much value to our transfer budget. The net budget is not
    the real problem but the revenue from sales is.

  41. DaniAltos

    I don’t understand why people mock bam on his neymar comments….all he said about neymar is/was true……neymar turns 27 soon and what has he really done to be honest?

  42. DaniAltos

    So much for easy game.Season is falling apart.Think Emery is done here. The club are going to sack him.

    😂😂😂

  43. DaniAltos

    I’m just laughing, while I’m watching the Chelsea match against Frankfurt with a friend….Arsenal is such a pathetic football club!!!

    The same Chelsea who drew?

  44. DaniAltos

    Gambon why is me saying that we have a poor squad and poor options defending Emery or making excuses for him? It’s ridiculous. Me pointing out that we have a poor squad is just that

    By now you should have known that people are full of agendas here Marko.When you even hear people suggesting a relegated Callum Chambers as an option smh

  45. gambon

    “neymar turns 27 soon and what has he really done to be honest?”

    Erm,

    Won the league in Brazil x 3
    Won LaLiga x 3
    Won 3 x Copa Del Ray (Scoring in all 3 finals)
    Won Ligue 1 x 2
    Won the CL (Scored)
    Won the Copa Libadatores (Scored in the final)
    Won the Confederations Cup (Scored in the final)
    Won the Olympics (Scored in the final)

    Scored 290 career goals so far
    Scored 60 goals for Brazil

    Yep, he is a regular Rickie Lambert isnt he.