Late one today, because I gave myself a serious bout of fruit-juice poisoning yesterday. I’ve been leaving it behind radiators to make my own Hooch. Doesn’t taste like the stuff we were drinking as kids in the park let me tell you.
A FEW COMPLAINTS TODAY.
Firstly, would the whole of Scotland just grow the fuck up about Brendy leaving Celtic for a better life? The pathetic whimperings of the Scottish media and the English journalists who found out 23&Me that they are 0.00002% Scottish are absolutely unbelievable.
I get it, it’s really f*cking hip to make out you have a connection to a dog shit league, but come on, can anyone really blame any manager with a bit of ambition wanting to leave a country that just burgled his house because he enacted his right to take a better job? Not me. I am a really big believer in employment law.
Here’s the other thing. The romantic notion of Scottish football is a total myth. The entertainment value, the working class vibes, the lack of money… MONEY?! Are you kidding me Celtic fans? Average yearly wage at Celtic is £865k, at Rangers £466k, and at Aberdeen £138k. Celtic are possibly the most pound for pound (literally) dominant European club in their own league (I didn’t do the sums, total hyperbole). They’ve won the league every season since 2011. Other clubs have absolutely no chance. Celtic are a lightweight boxer beating on children, then romanticising the notion after an 8-year unbeaten run.
As for entertainment? Sure, I’ll give that to the SPL, the league is unpredictable… but the football is extremely poor. Even the Old Firm Derby is Championship Level (taking out the top 6 of the Championship).
Why would Brendan Rodgers want to continue in a one club league? What prestige is there in utterly dominating the most uneven playing field world football (hyperbole)? Leicester has an ambitious board, they have some great players, they have a really good setup and they’ve won the league in the last 5 years. It’s a great move.
Also, how fucking bad is the SPL when they’re crying over losing a guy who is one of the hottest memes in the game?
My second BEEF is with journalists identifying something fans have always done and lambasting it as a social ill. The latest one I’ve been reading about is blame culture in the game. Yep, there’s a select few old romantics who remember the game as it once was, devoid of passion, reasoned and balanced in critique. There was apparently a time when fans didn’t unfairly bully refs.
Are you fucking kidding? This eulogizing of yesteryear from 30 somethings is beyond embarrassing. I am a thirty-something, my first memory of football was asking my dad what a ‘wanker’ was because the whole stadium was viciously singing it at a referee. Remember, I am an Arsenal fan, a member of the Highbury Library, my entire football upbringing was spent listening to hilarious abuse from the stands. If I can remember it always being this way, no doubt every other thirty-something supporting other clubs must have witnessed it louder.
The over-analysis of football was always there, it just happened behind the scenes. The Whatsapp group used to be aggressive football chat over the phone (I’d call 5 or 6 people from work after a big game, back when it was socially acceptable to pick up the phone). Twitter was just shouting at people in bars. Transfer news was 65p a minute sent to TeamTalk. The social media didn’t make anything more intense, it just documented it and made it global.
As for blame culture in the game… it has gone on FOREVER. That is what sport is. Winners, losers and fat scapegoats sitting in the yard taking a whipping by fat fans in tight replica shirts.
Don’t even get me started on journalists getting angry at fans bantering the opposition… or being rash in their analysis.
The game is built on passion, stupid opinion and the constant back and forth dialogue about whether 27 is 28, whether pink boots are acceptable if you’re a shit player, whether Denilson shared DNA with a crab, whether Almunia really did have a thumb injury, or whether Tom Cruise and JET was the mightiest on pitch partnership that never really happened.
Blame culture is a social ill? WEST HAM FANS BURNED A BECKHAM EFFIGY FOR A RED CARD! BARCA FANS THREW A PIG HEAD AT FIGO! COLOMBIA ASSASSINATED A PLAYER FOR A MISSED PENALTY!
Football is about obsession (obvs not supporting assassinations). Slow motion replays. Disgust at BIAS refs. The Fergie referee corruption conspiracy. Wenger’s handbrake. Theirry’s light leg stroke of Jamie Carragher. Always has been, always will be.
If you find it uncouth… turn off your Twitter. No one will miss you.
Right, that’s me done, BIG LOVE x
P.S. What about the mighty Ajax last night? That’s a club with a philosophy and a plan to enact it. So many brilliant young players. Arsenal won’t be able to harvest their own youth like that in the short term, but we should be snapping up elite 17-23-year-olds and growing a team that looks similar. Also, fuck the ‘Madrid are shite’ commentary… that was Ajax being hungrier and more aggressive.