The FT has run a fascinating article about Barcelona and buried deep within it, they reveal crucial evidence when it comes to juice… notably, Barcelona players ARE allowed to drink it.
‘Just before afternoon practice, Barça midfielder Busquets pops into the kitchen above the training ground for a spot of refuelling. Before training, that usually means fruit juice.’
The f*cking audacity. But wait, it gets worse; and for all those that have been arguing with me about the horrors of juice sugars in elite athletes who burn 5000+ calories a day, you might want to look away…
‘Players are also encouraged to drink beetroot juice to boost nitrate levels (including two shots in the hours before kick-off) and “during busy competition schedule” to eat the equivalent of 100 tart cherries a day (which sounds rather like a challenge in a competitive eating championship).’
For the prominent anti-juicers on Le-Grove, this is a huge blow, but for those of us who truly believed in the sugary goodness of a post-game Sunny-D, this is a great day. That said, word of warning to English folk when you come to America, always say the ‘Sunny’ part, ‘I’m just popping out for some D’ means something different in these parts.
Interestingly the same article also points to caffeine being promoted for improving mental sharpness before games. Not even an elegant cortado, I’m talking about cans of NUCLEAR LEMONERRY MONSTER IN 2 LITRE CANS.
Back to the story. The gist is basically that all that organisational stuff I evangelise about; that the grunts blow off as ‘hipsterism’, is actually a thing at proper clubs. I shouldn’t have to explain that, but you know, this is the internet and being militant about something you have little insight into is human nature (I see you MJ fans).
Now, I’m not suggesting that great players aren’t important. I’m not for one moment considering putting a proposal forward that would put Deep Blue in the hot seat after Emery. I’m just saying that if you’re not considering all of these advanced approaches to nutrition, data, scouting, analytics and psychology, you’re simply putting off the inevitable. You are Blackberry believing in the fixed keyboard. Kodak ignoring the digital camera. My dad saying social media was for dickheads… hold on?
Technology and advanced approaches to specialisations in the game are not there to replace humans. They’re developed to help smart people make more informed decisions. To make more time for creative problem solving.
For the performance team, the richer the data they’re pulling from, the better their prediction models will be for players breaking down. If you could measure stress levels in players saliva and map it against their performance, you might be able to work out who is better suited to taking high-pressure penalties (sorry Auba). MAYBE the club could identify the gene for doing stupid things on the football pitch… I can tell you now for certain, I have that gene, my school friends will attest to this. Could personality mapping work out if players have elite mentality? Could it tell you if a player was suited to a managers style so you don’t end up with £400k wasting away on the bench?
Imagine players learning about tactical models in interactive VR worlds so they don’t fall asleep in video analysis lectures. Wouldn’t it be cool if AI could analyse the game in real time and work out that Luke Shaw may have smashed 40 nuggets before the game and as a result is running at sub-optimal levels and suggest his side of the pitch is overloaded in the second half?
There are so many possibilities…
However, we’re stuck with a fanbase that’s currently in a serious debate about whether having a footballing identity is important. So maybe park this for a bit.
Anyway, bravo Simon Kuper. What a piece. Funny story, I once recorded a podcast with him and the sound failed. Pretty embarrassing.
Moving on from juice.
What the hell is wrong with the UK press? The defence of Harry Kane for being offside looks like the #FakeNews my Russian twitter friends warned me about.
Do you think the England striker is super petty about critique? Most of the slobbering defences of him over the weekend seem to have come from English journalists. One can only assume they are protecting their World Cup access. Imagine getting a late night DM from Hazza.
‘Myster Wollace, read u sleggin me. 2morrow, ure gonna correct it. Say u spoke to the experrts, make me look the victim… or else Jon X gets the exclsive on me favourite color next munth. Uv been warned Wally-ace lollololol wally like ‘u wally’ lolol’
There are obviously some terrific UK journalists, but I swear, the group that dictates the news cycle really jump on some painfully embarrassing narratives. Give me Honigstein, Horncastle and Laurens all day long… none of those boys are drinking MONSTER for breakfast.
Big game this week. Rennes in the Europa round of 16. I like the French team, they have a fun squad, but I think we’d have to play pretty badly not to overpower them with our superior quality. That said, they have had their fixtures moved around by the French FA to allow them max prep time. They’ve not had a game since the 27th of Feb, which to be honest is a hefty amount of time to take off to prepare…
The game is also against the backdrop of a mega match against United at the weekend. That really is a must win for us if we hold out any hope of an upset in the top 4 race. The game is also at home. I’d take a draw with a weaker squad at Rennes if it meant we can flying out of the traps for the weekend’s game.
Right, that’s me done… see you in the comments, let’s talk juice.
xx
“Thanks Pedro.. I will take my standard fee. a $25 gift card to Sal’s music Emporium.”
Get the fuck in Middy, i’m on some Joe Strummer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDLyVGz0epM
A little humour. I like.
Of course, this is a joke post because anyone who’s tasted Sunny D knows it’s straight-up poison.
PSG match is a lost cause Marko, of course he’s throwing in the towel, you really think there’s even a slight hope that they stick 3 past PSG in Paris?
Can’t publicly admit it but that team selection tells the story.
Nice Sal..! I do like me a bit of the Reggae downbeat..
Would be us to gift Spuds their first PL draw of the season wouldn’t it just as we have the chance to bury them?
Seem to remember Auba looking very uncomfortable taking a pen vs City last season and going on to choke it as well, shame we don’t have more reliable PK takers like Beevis for Spurs.
Joke Tuesday
Two older Jewish guys are sitting at a bar in Cancun. One of them asks the other if he thinks there are any Jews in Mexico. Both of them are not sure so they decide to ask the bartender. Bartender is puzzled, and then tells them he’ll check with the manager. Few minutes later he comes back, and goes: “We have Apple Juice, Cranberry Juice, Tomato Juice, and Orange Juice. No Mexican Juice.”
Not juice exactly, but one time I had a grapefruit bubble tea before my casual co-ed indoor game and it gave me a combination of Ramsey’s engine and Pirlo’s vision.
One date point, sure, but we’ll all agree a pretty important one.
Jamie
“…anyone who’s tasted Sunny D knows it’s straight-up poison.”
I’ll give my kids wine, beer, tequila, whatever else before I give them Sunny D.
Middy
Can’t go wrong with Joe Strummer – Tony Adams
Upstate
Be careful
I’m obligated to file CPS complaints, shouldn’t be too hard to find “upstate gooner” in the Buffalo area.
I’ll just have the local PD drive around praising Spuds with their loud speakers.
Five paragraphs on juice!
Pedro, “The game is also against the backdrop of a mega match against United at the weekend. That really is a must win for us if we hold out any hope of an upset in the top 4 race. The game is also at home. I’d take a draw with a weaker squad at Rennes if it meant we can flying out of the traps for the weekend’s game.” Nah We are a momentum team. One bad result away to Rennes and the boo boys [plenty of them abound here] are out again. Emery has to take the next three… Read more »
Dissenter “Be careful. I’m obligated to file CPS complaints, shouldn’t be too hard to find “upstate gooner” in the Buffalo area. I’ll just have the local PD drive around praising Spuds with their loud speakers.” LOL. Thanks for a good laugh. But anyone who’s giving their kids Sunny D is a terrible parent. Speaking of juice, I just ordered me some Five Alive (I was talking about it earlier) on Amazon. It’s Canadian export, and cost me an arm and a leg but totally worth it. Can’t wait to get a taste of it. That’ll bring back some good old… Read more »
2008 – one word:
Eduardo
What could’ve been……
Tomorrow 5 paragraphs on Sauce.
My opus magnum: The hottest of hot sauces…
“Players missing for Manchester United vs. PSG tomorrow:
How many of them will be back for Arsenal though?”
I would say all of them.
Eagle
Should get Balotelli on the books, strictly for the Pens. Scored something outrageous like 40 of 45 for career.
Not to mention Middy’s always wanted #Ballsdeep in the Red n White.
“Alexis Sanchez out for up to six weeks with knee injury”
Karma’s a biatch.
I like it …. Sauce, Juice, Sabermetrics… the Trilogy.
Sal
Or Xavi’s idol the PK God that was Matt Le Tissier, 48/49 career spot kick record.
Haha, how’s he getting on at Marseille?
Paddy couldn’t get rid fast enough. Talented player back in his Inter/City days but never close to as good to merit the hype around him and he plays when he wants to to boot which is rarely.
Best Pk kicker I’ve ever seen… in person… Cuauhtémoc Blanco… True story.. have never seen him miss.. I also hated him…
Mexican CF Middy no? Remember him from the 02′ WC, bloke was getting on back then so must be ancient now.
Best pen taker I can think of is probably Lambert as average as he was, never remember him missing from the spot.
Lampard and Gerrard were both G’s from the spot too, until they pulled on that Three Lions jersey of course haha.
Yeah Eagle.. he was like 74 out of 75 career. I hated him because anytime Mexico would get a dodgy penalty you knew it was a goal.
But he played in Chicago . MLs back in the day.. I saw a few matches… at that time he was pretty much fat and old.. but he could still pick a pass out.. basically the Mexican Pirlo.
Eagle
Soton’s finest, ridiculous stat that. A sure thing.
Can’t imagine Ballos doing well, dudes toxic. But that version which took Italy to Euro final vs Spain 2012 was best. Spanked in finale but what a tournament he had, never same since.
Would not mind prizing Vieira’s young CB Sarr though. Looks like a winner.
I lived in Southampton for eighteen months, best penalty taker I saw in person was matt le tissier.
Style points from the stop… Pirlo or Zinedine for me.
Doesn’t super Mario have a good record from the spot?
Ironic really, safe as houses from the spot but far from safe in his house. Nutter 🔥
Middy
Like Dame Dolla or Steph/KD at the free throw line, no worse feeling when you have money on an opponent in a late game clutch moment and they get to the line.
Or giving the legendary Pedro Mendes half a yard to rifle off an effort from 30+ yards, was a time when ‘Arry would have swapped him at home for Jamie.
Sorry Sal, behind the times here.
Sal That goal against Germany in the SF was great, real iconic moment for Italian NT who have long been Germany’s bogey team. Personally enjoyed it as well as it plundered past that cocky prick Neuer who I always love to see humbled even though it’s pretty damn rare given how great he is. Mario that day, Messi in 2015 CL SF, Ronaldo is the only player to really have his way with Neuer on a regular basis. My overriding memory of prime Mario was the 6-1 annihilation at OT though with the ‘why always me’ shirt celebration after a… Read more »
Seriously fuck Sunny D. Gimme some of that purple stuff.
CC Missed this from the last post. “Freddie You know the figures involved with Rabiot verbatim? Or are you basing that, and some valuations, on paper talk? Of course it depends on our budget, it always does. Not one player over 30 mil though so that will mean certain fans aren’t happy to call that ambitious, or expect that 5 ‘superior’ players will lead to a better team.” Of course it’s based on paper valuation and speculation, you think I called up Rabiots mom and asked her? Same with the other players, Brandt and Fornals both have 22m release clauses… Read more »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEgYIG3ba0Y
What are Ja Rule’s thoughts on the heated Juice debate?
Alexis out for 6 weeks? There goes our top 4 chance.
If Mkhitaryan had played the whole time with us at the level he’s been at this month, the swap with Alexis would go down as one of the best ever pieces of transfer business. As it is, we can just be relieved Alexis burnt himself out with us and Chile before bombing at United.
“Kevin-Prince Boateng has joined Barcelona in a shock move from the Italian side Sassuolo.”
It’s all the beetroot juice they drinking at Barca that made them think this transfer was good idea. Sugar water poisons the mind, ban all juice from Colney!
Freddie You conflate a price range with an age, I’m not advocating we fill the team with teenagers. I’ve said a smarter recruitment policy will target players 10-25 mil and we can find rough diamonds and young stars this way. But to be crystal, I’m still very much of the opinion you could go out and find a 15-20 mil player at 22/23 that would waltz into the first time if you do it right. I’m utterly against the notion Marko was offering up where he only expects improvement from the side if we buy 50 mil players and above.… Read more »
Konate is 19, Thuram 22 from a small club in ligue 1, etc, Fornals and Rabiot 23. I’m sure we’ll see improvements right away because of who they would be replacing, but how much of an improvement and how quickly is debatable. Small improvements at first with scope for more perhaps, seems most likely. Even players like Fornals more often than not need time to get used to the PL. Keyword is patience if we go for younger players with potential, save your impatience for the ready made superstars. Also that wasn’t Markos argument but you keep missing the point.… Read more »
I’m utterly against the notion Marko was offering up where he only expects improvement from the side if we buy 50 mil players and above. That was his argument, not age-related, it was price related, and a load of nonsense to boot. Not true at all my argument was if you are expecting to improve the team with prospects in the 10-25 million range then you gotta have patience before you see improvement. If you want improvement inside a matter of months then that will take serious investment. You for example criticizing the manager for zero improvements in the first… Read more »
And quoting Fornals as an example is a bit of a cheat he’s worth a lot more than the release clause he insisted on suggests. He’s an extraordinary example of what 25 million would get you because he’s probably worth about 40-50 million.
I’ll give you an example Boubacar Kamara of Marseille highly rated 19 year old CB could probably be signed for 10-25 million. You might expect him to come straight in and improve our defence inside months I however would not but rather expect him to improve our defensive options over the next couple seasons for example
“Also that wasn’t Markos argument but you keep missing the point. Probably deliberately judging by your history on here, loves an argument you do.“ Marko continually dismissed 10-25 mil signings when considering what would improve us this summer. It came as I refuted Emiratestroller’s idea that we’d need to spend 50 mil to get a defensive reinforcement who can perform for the here and now. Marko then chimed in and dimissed that we could get any player costing 10-25 mil and improve immediately. So no, I didn’t miss any point thanks. We added 4 players this past summer for less… Read more »
“If you want improvement inside a matter of months then that will take serious investment. You for example criticizing the manager for zero improvements in the first 6 months but advocating for 10-25 million signings is ridiculous.“ Still haven’t understood the premise. 10-25 mil isn’t being put aside solely for academy members about to take off, this isn’t Sancho style scouting being discussed solely, it’s smart recruitment, period. Your comment above exemplifies everything you stand for, absolutely dismisses anything under 25 mil because it’s 25 mil and not 50. Totally equating talent to price despite the numerous examples over the… Read more »
Marko then chimed in and dimissed that we could get any player costing 10-25 mil and improve immediately. That is true. Expecting a 10-25 million player to improve what has been a god awful defence for years is fanciful. I think it’s obvious what you’re doing really setting up the manager for failure and ridicule. He can’t improve a poor defence with 10-25 million signings? Who the fuck could. Pep didn’t improve their defence until he was signing 50 million CB’s and 200 million on full backs. Liverpool didn’t improve their defence until they spent 75 million. And we’re expected… Read more »
Your comment above exemplifies everything you stand for, absolutely dismisses anything under 25 mil because it’s 25 mil and not 50. Not true at all plenty of good talent out there for that much money but I’d say that it’s mostly prospects and any established talent expected to come in drastically change our defence inside a matter of months is fanciful. At the end of the day Charles why can’t you have a little more patience. You expecting to improve the defence like that inside months is ridiculous. Who exactly is it you have in mind? What CB is out… Read more »
Again for example say we signed up Konate and Kamara this summer I see them being good signings and players who might could improve us gradually over the next few seasons but drastically inside a matter of months? I don’t think so I’d still expect goals conceded and we’d still be some way short of the kind of quality our rivals have. On the flip side say we brought in De Ligt or Kimpembe and I’d expect them to be starters and to show some improvements to the team almost straight away. Nothing to do with price but more to… Read more »
Dortmund vs Spurs?
Thinking the Signal Iduna is loaded, players have had the purple juice. This tie leveled at the 45th minute.
Second half all to player for.
Poch will blame many things. Strike that, everything.
Marko It’s nothing to do with Emery, you’ve brought him in to try and add some dark element to what I’m saying. This entire conversation comes off the back of a suggestion we need to spend 50 mil on a player in defence to see improvement. It’s bollocks. Why can Dortmund and co. scout better than us and get real quality for less than 25 mil but it’s apparently underhanded to expect Arsenal to do the same and prosper? This is an Arsenal issue, not an Emery one, because it’s subject to the new approach we’re supposedly due to see… Read more »
sal
If the Spud’s manage to go out tonight I can see a serious meltdown happening. Going into the 2nd leg 3 nil up even if you’re away should be enough.
David Neres is some prospect. Out of our price range though.
Wow. 2-0, Ajax. These kids are great.
How about a Real Madrid meltdown, instead? hahaha Why is Modric. defending people in the box? Ajax carving them up.. but it is end to end.
Ajax stole the juice I sent to Westphalia.
Napoli bought Koulibaly for 7 mil aged 23, don’t tell me Koulibaly at 23 now isn’t better than Mustafi/Holding/crocked Kos.
Sure maybe Arsene should have signed him up in 2014. But now it’s 2019 and if you want that type of signing you ain’t getting it for 7 million. Plus how many Koulibaly’s are knocking around the Belgian league these days. It’s funny you making the comparison to Koulibaly being signed for 7 million from the Belgian league when so many people are against the notion of Trossard for example for coming from said league at a similar age.
Gareth Bale.. coming on.. 30 mins in.. panic button has been pushed.
Marc
Obviously, but we must hope for m e l t d o w n.
That said they are defending well and time wasting well.
sal
I think they’ll go through tonight – I do wonder if Southampton might cause them problems at the weekend though.
What the fuck is going on at Madrid.
Ajax look so explosive
Marc
Read this pre-game so it was always going to be near impossible:
Every side to have won 3-0 at home in the first leg of a knockout game has reached the next round, 4-0 has been turned once with Emery’s PSG tanking out at the Nou.
Ajax were brilliant in the first leg.
Colour ,its COLOUR
Frenkie De Jong is honestly something special. His ball retention and passing is brilliant and he has some presence for a lad so young. He made a ridiculous challenge on Modric towards the end of the half that sums him up for me. That special ability to spot danger and snuff it out. Fabulous player
I think I picked the right match to watch.. Highly entertaining this RM v Ajax match. End to end.. woodwork thumpin a plenty. Not to mention the Spuds match is on Spanish TV… I’m like Bale..no sprechen sie espanol.
Anyone who watched Ajax in the group knew that they were legit, gave Bayern Munich two proper matches and shouldn’t have beaten them in 2nd one.
Real Madrid are an absolute shambles that being said. Can’t remember them looking this poor literally in a decade.
Ronaldo was the system and focal point and they replaced him with an 18 year old from Brazil, pretty mental.
When was the last time that a Dutch side made the CL QF?
PSV 2007? And who’d they beat in the last 16?
Yep, you guessed it. That Alex header.
Future Balon de Jong, curious what his passing stats were in that 45.
Having digs at current man Modric for giggles.
Hope they hold on.
Midwest
Que?
Real fightback but Ajax to nick a 3rd and sneak it on away goals!
I don’t know what a ziggo is but suddenly …. I want one. Yeah anytime RM gets dealt a blow .. I’m all for it.. still up 4 grabs though..
Game over Dortmund need 5. Been poor for a few weeks now
Kane scores again. Good shot though
Really pleased for Tadic finally getting to really showcase his talent on the biggest stage.
Underrated at Southampton.
We can now focus fully on Ajax and hope those other bastards draw Simeone.
Marko
They’ve effectively choked the title away to a subpar Bayern full of declined and aging stars.
Bayern are level on points and have Dortmund at home in April. They’ll pinch it because they’ve been there and done it so many times and Dortmund have already lost their nerve.
Like Napoli in Serie A in previous seasons, much better than the rest of the league but still Juve’s bitch.
Unbelievable stats!!!
The entire budget of Ajax first team, reserve team and youth team combined is less than Garrett Bale’s annual pay. Wow!!!
hahaha I heard the announcers say that Georgio.. Got to love when they stick the knife in and twist it.
Wow,…. Stunner!
There it is!!!
Tadic you beaut.
Oh fuck here comes Var.
Oh no VAR. lol
WHAT a BLAZER from Tadic.
Brilliant goal that. Great challenge by the Ajax RB (who we’ve been linked with) and then Ziyech and Tagliafico combining with a great finish by Tadic
Ball was out of play before the build up.. but it’s like by a few blades of grass if it is. and do they have a camera angle straight down the side line?
Goal!
There’s not enough to over turn it so rightfully given.
Madrid need 3 they’re out
So are we going to see UEFA’s corruption step in now and somehow see Madrid get through?
Right decision going by the most vertical replay of the line.
All but over barring a miracle.
There goes the intrigue that comes with VAR. Haha…take that Real you suckers!
@Tadic what a finish that was.
Solari will be lucky to walk out of the stadium still in a job.
Complete joke that this Madrid side have won three Euro cups in a row. Always thought they were poor. Not a patch on the teams with Figo and Zidane. Likes of Kroos nowhere near that standard.
Quality finish that.
Breathes life back into this.
Oh no…. argggghhh! Great match..
Paulinho
They were fortunate to avoid Barcelona all three of those years who absolutely have had their number domestically in the H2H.
Ajax with a 4th!
What a goal
WoW!!!!! crazy!
Wtf lol
Still petrified that somehow Spurs are going to sneak their way to the final. The more teams like RM are eliminated, the greater the chance that this will happen.