‘Hippie crack’ story a painfully sad read

by & filed under News Review.

Ok, I know we had some fun with that Fortnite story that the media took a little too seriously this week. But The Sun ran with a Nick Parker special about Arsenal players inhaling ‘hippie crack’ in an epically pathetic hit piece designed to convince normal folk that Arsenal players have been engaging in peak Libertines mid-noughties style drug deviance.

TL;DR

The players went to a club. Got shitfaced. Passed nitrous oxide-filled balloons around for a cheap and very lame high.

The only thing we should be getting angry about is that they were dim enough to do something so subpar in front of security cameras.

I’ve never heard of this referred to as hippie crack. If anyone at a festival,party, or drug cave called it that, they’d be escorted from the event for false advertising. It’s like calling a Jaffa Cake ‘devils cyanide, or labeling a park swing ‘LOONTOWNS DEATH SPIRAL.’ It’s not a real drug. It’s like sniffing pens at school. It’s prepared with a chefs frosting gun ffs. Painfully middle class.

Sure, elite athletes shouldn’t do anything that resembles recreational fun, but in the grand scheme of things to worry about, I’d be more concerned about 5000 hours of Fortnite. And I’d hazard a guess that scientifically speaking, it’s the booze that’s the issue for a sports star. How many broken homes happen because Mum came down in the morning to 20 empty canisters and a stream of flaccid balloons around the living room? Not many.

To put a number on it, 8 people died from doing this in 2016. 8 too many, no doubt. 88,000 died from booze related illness. 259 people died from taking selfies. 1700 in traffic accidents. 9 people from jumping into water (seriously). This ‘hippie crack’ is so lame, Prince Harry does it and it’s not a scandal.

However, inhaling balloons for a cheap 10-second head rush isn’t the take away your average Joe… ‘crack party with Lacazette’ is… Just note this: we’ve outrun every team in the league and we’re 20 games unbeaten. It’s not a big deal.

On another note, what is it with nightclubs releasing that sort of stuff? Unbelievable breach of privacy.

In other news, Rob Holding looks likely to miss the rest of the season. Such a shame. He was really making a statement in defence. I have my doubts Sven will make moves in January. We have Monreal coming back into the mix, Emery has proven to be flexible with his backline, and there’s a lot of belief in Mavrapanos.

Aaron Ramsey also picked up a knock, which is a shame considering the good form he’s shown over the last two games (though Emery said it was minor). It is not unusual for bad fitness strategies to show up in December. Let’s hope the last two can be attributed to luck. Big questions over whether Burgess is going to be able to own the ear of Emery over his imported fitness coach. Julen Masach. If we’re going to have a good run, it really does have to go the Austrailian’s way.

There’s a piece doing the rounds in Germany about Sven and his diamond ways. He’s obviously very pleased with Guendouzi, who dropped unreal numbers against United (didn’t someone say he was no better than Denilson? Lol). He also talks in-depth about how he’s founded multiple firms that analyse data. Interestingly he highlights the dangers of spewing out insights based on isolated numbers, like distance run. He alluded to the idea that a player might be running about a lot because he’s making bad decisions all game (a hint at an issue with one of our players?). Muppets with stats really is a thing online, this week, Arsenal fans are peddling Mustafi over VVD. The audacity is quite something. Anyway, it’s incredible we have a scout of his prestige at Arsenal. I’d link the pirated copy, but that might not be legal, so I implore you to sign up to the site to read or go find the illegal shit.

Talking of MG, Emery had a scolding tip about what he should do about the bigger boys pulling his hair.

‘I think the best thing is that he cuts his hair before the next match, then the problem is finished,” Arsenal’s manager said. Just as Fellaini did. I have not told him that to his face, though. I respect a lot the players; their hair and their hair colour.’

BIG lol. Getting slapped down by a man who is rocking Shockwaves wet look gel in 2018. Gotta sting.

Our German power sniper is still in a weird place with his injury.

“On Friday we make the decision,”

“He had a backache and now he is working with one physio. Today he was on a pitch running and touching the ball. We are going to look when he can come with us.”

Odd how Emery is describing the injury, but whatever. We haven’t missed him. If he’s back, bonus, if he’s not, well, the party goes on!

Right, that’s me done, see you in the comments!

619 Responses to “‘Hippie crack’ story a painfully sad read”

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  1. Guns of sf

    Tony I been calling ozil to serie a for a while now
    He will have much more success there
    If this report has legs then take it without hesitation

  2. Freddie Ljungberg

    So if the reported numbers would be true(unlikely I know) that would be Ozil 25m, Ramsey 17m and Elneny 15m

    Enough to get a Fekir/Havertz in as AM and a Pepe at the wing with minimal outlay.

    If we decide that Eddie isn’t ready then splash 15m more for Wesley and ship Eddie out on loan for a season or 2.

    Need to see how Mustafi is looking with his injury, not a great situation at CB atm but difficult to get a top class CB in January without massively overpaying. Would hate to be stuck with a stop gap solution there when we need excellency.

  3. Leedsgunner

    Freddie

    If Sven and Raul managed to achieve those figures they would be miracle workers. Don’t forget to add Mkhitaryan and Jenks to the list… £20m combined maybe?

    Better to have one or two players who are quality and can play in Emery’s system to five who cannot.

  4. kristoman

    so we are back to fifth eh. the way this league is now baffles me. it is very hard to maintain such high level of consistency. imagine have not lost a match since September but still fifth in table. if it were good old days back we should second or third at worse. well it is good for competition.

  5. useroz

    Wot a dire game yesterday but got 3 pts that matter AND a rare clean sheet.

    Why took Laca off at HT (injuries?) ‘cos the 2 subs were more often than not poor and indeed turned out the case.

    Seriously lacking *genuine creativity* at the moment. This is expensive stuff and may not easily get fixed in the Jan TW. Selling the dross would be a starting point (thus adding to the pot). ESR may be good for some games but isn’t a regular starter. AMN needs to find/ lock down his position asap.

    Defence probably isn’t as bad as it looks with Holding and Mustafi out. We have veterans Lich, Kos and Monreal all available over the next few weeks. Papa is only out for a game (the knock looked benign…). Marvo already back in training. And, AMN could play L/R back. Still 2 per position tho not ideal.

    Back to yesterday…

    Who did well : Torreira, Papa

    Who did okay: Leno, Guendouzi, Bellerin, Sead, Lich

    Rest not good, including the ref and lino. .

    If Emery isn’t too concerned with the unbeaten thing, play the reserve mid week.

    Never been more curious in what the club would do in the Jan TW……

  6. useroz

    Auba isn’t a concern but missing big chances and sitters has become notable so far this season…

    *started with the Chelsea game : 1 pt at least

    *mid week@ ancient trafford with down Gea to beat (tall order may be) : 2 pt

    *Hud game : a scare; at least compensated with a great assist

    Would have put us in top 4 comfortably.

    Auba has done v well with wot we have in the creative department . Notwithstanding the top scorer (still?) if Emery could lift him to a more consistent elite level , we’d be set especially if new creative blood is added in Jan.

    Frankly don’t care if City or Poo wins the league ,if us not competing that is. Tho, for bragging right, fantastic City was beaten and Pep-the-great (+Arteta) could not lay claim to being an invincible for at least another season!

    Btw if we’d get hands on Havantz pay all we can! Mortgage Ozil’s house and game collection… but the Wesley somebody doesn’t seem to be that good enough on clips. Just a Welbeck Mk II.

  7. TheLegendaryDB10

    Didn’t watch the game (family stuff & not on TV so couldn’t sneak to a pub) but followed it via Arseblog’s live blog (very useful and well done when no TV/live stream is available/accessible) but happy to see us win in such a very scrappy manner. Loving Torreira more and more!

    Re the Chelski discussion: this is one of the many reasons I hate that club above all clubs. Even above Spuds (who are a very close second).

  8. Graham62

    TonyD

    Many thanks.

    Don’t need to purchase a travel guide now.

    As for the Ozil saga, if the Milan story is true……..SELL! SELL! SELL!

  9. Joe

    Rather city win it. Don’t have a lot of city supporting mates. But do have a lot of cunt scouse fans that I reluctantly call mates

    Will never hear the end of it if they win

    Fuck the bin dippers

  10. Graham62

    Back in 2007, took my son, who was then twelve, to Carling Cup Final in Cardiff.

    On the train journey back home, a group of these Chelski neanderthals caused massive disturbances. Their aggressiveness and general behaviour was frightening. Two guys next to us, both Chelski supporters tried to intervene to calm them down but they also got verbally abused and threatened.

    There were some transport police on the train who arranged to get these morons thrown off the train at Bristol Temple Meads station. Just a shame for the folk of Bristol.

    There is no doubt that Chelski breed these idiots, but what is more worrying is that there are increasing numbers of these idiots infiltrating the game at all levels.

  11. Up 4 grabs now

    Morning,
    Good win yesterday, wasn’t the best game but Huddersfield came for a draw. And there thug tactics almost worked.

    The ref was dire yesterday and when he gets his ref review I’m pretty sure it won’t be great.

    If laca and Auba had taken there chances and torriea shot had gone in it would have been an easy win. Huddersfield wasn’t going to open up while they were still in the game at 0-0.

    The only good thing about City losing was they aren’t getting our invincible record. Apart from that it wasn’t good. Chelsea didn’t drop points and it gives the bindippers hope.

    Believe me the bindippers winning the league will bad. Nobody likes gloating scousers. And I still think klopp isn’t the messiah he’s made out to be. Just like pinnochio at spurs.

    Southampton next weekend is not an easy game, our record there recently is poor and with injuries and suspensions it might be koz, Monreal and litchsteiner as a back three.

    Thursdays game should just be the kids and a makeshift defence. The unbeaten run can go, as long as we don’t lose anymore defenders.

  12. TonyD

    Graham
    Happy to help.

    I’ve travelled extensively throughout S E Asia since 1999, but not China yet or Korea although going to Seoul next April.

    Basically S E Asia is my Europe proximity wise.

    Can recommend quality resorts and hotels out this way and a good friend has 5 five star resorts in Bali and a new one in Phenom Penh. He also runs a hotel/resort management company to the 5 star industry, so he’s always my go to guy for recommendations when travelling.

    Let me know if I can help further via Pedro and email.

  13. Leedsgunner

    Thank goodness we didn’t draw yesterday. Now, that would have been two points dropped.

    The truth is if our rivals are going to keep winning, we’ve to keep winning. The next few games are going to challenge us to be consistent and focussed. Raising your game to beat a rival is hard, but to bring out the wins when you’re tired and running on empty is a skill on its own.

    Well done Arsenal!

  14. Leedsgunner

    Steve Mounie, a Huddersfield striker was suspended but he was still there amongst his fans, taking photos signing autographs etc. Why couldn’t Özil do that? I suppose perhaps he feels too important to sit himself amongst mortals and real life fans. Was he even there at the Emirates?

    Oh hum, he really is become Arshavin v. 2.0 and we don’t have to imagine what life would be like without him because we are being given a real good taste.

  15. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    Think we should throw in Eddie

    Bit like a poacher, gets in to good box postitions…

    Would then put a bit of pressure on the other two… otherwise they got a free run.

  16. Dissenter

    Guns
    Ozil is a major brand amabassador for Adidas, signed a $35 million deal spread over 7 years in 2014. He’s also a major face for Mercedes Benz.
    I do think his marketability has dropped since he stopped being the multicultural face of German football.