Good banter travels far. The humorous comments section conspiracy theory grew legs yesterday and had a lot of people talking. Someone with contacts in the insurance world dropped this comment.
‘They were able to prove that the high profile player’s injury had in fact been caused by playing too many video games. In his case it was a knee injury caused by sitting on sofa for hours on end with his feet on the coffee table, This causes minor hyperextension of the knee. I think? Good luck with your conspiracy theory.’
Absolute gold.
This is mostly tongue in cheek, a lot of folk from countries outside England sending pelters my way because they don’t understand world class British bantz, but the reality is, spending that much time in front of a screen is really unhealthy. I know first hand what a corrupting influence the screen can be on your life, and I’m being absolutely genuine here.
My career has been built off the internet. Everything in my life past the age of 21 is owed to this blog, Twitter and the power of the Arsenal community. I’m on my phone a lot. This year, Apple added the screentime function. I was spending an average of 4.5 hours a day on my phone. That’s minus the computer screen I was sitting in front of. If I went on a mad session, I couldn’t concentrate, I actually started to feel sick.
Don’t tell me that mad screentime doesn’t impact your life. It can be devastating to relationships, your work, and the outside world. Best thing I’ve ever done is delete all the time drainers. I don’t have Instagram, Twitter, Fishbowl, or my e-mail on my phone. I’ll bring Twitter back for games… but I remove them straight after.
The impact has been electric. I’m more present in everything I do. I’m a better boss, a better creative, and a better human.
Screens are a fucking cancer on the brain. But, you know, big thanks to 80% of the traffic that comes from mobile. I love you. Never leave me.
ANYWAY. Man United today. What a fucking exciting proposition we have.
Unai Emery not only has the chance to extend our incredible unbeaten run, he can potentially end the tenure of the most obnoxious manager in history. If Jose loses his job, the best he’ll ever do moving forward is Roma or Everton. This is a HUGE game for him.
We know what he’s going to do. It’s going to be a shit-house special. He’s going to set up to bully us out of the match. Fellaini will start, all his sharp-elbowed fiends will join. No doubt, all will have been sleeping outside in dog kennels. It’s going to be a shameful spectacle. The sort that’d give Graham Souness an erection. The type that’ll have Gary Neville lamenting the soft spine of Arsenal ‘yet again.’
But you know what? We’ll be prepared. We’ll be fired up. We have dirty players. This game could be an epic announcement to the rest of the league. This really is the chance to put the ‘soft Arsenal’ bollocks to rest. I can’t fucking wait.
United are utter shite. They’re 8 points behind us. Their goal difference is -1. The squad hates Mourinho. Pogba and the manager are at war as reality dawns that he’s not elite and United blew £94m on him. Sanchez would top himself if it weren’t for his dogs. No one is performing to the level they should be, mainly because they don’t want to.
The special one is dropping Arsene Wenger like statements in the press in a pathetic attempt to draw sympathy for his privileged attempt at making United a proper team.
“Before Palace, I said my target would be end of December in top four. Now the target has changed. Now we have to try to be very close to these positions. We need not to be so unlucky with problems that we have. We need some players to perform.”
“I can agree even though the investment Everton made was phenomenal,”
“I don’t think Everton will be in front of United by the end of the season.”
He is complaining about Everton’s investment! Un-fucking-real. What a pathetic man. The only reason United curtailed his spending this summer because his sporting director attempts have been utterly shambolic.
The press love him though, they don’t want him gone. The BBC ran an article about whether the Portuguese was getting harsh treatment.
‘However, there is frustration among some Old Trafford insiders who believe Mourinho is held to different standards, being compared both to his predecessors at United and rival managers at other clubs.’
ARE YOU KIDDING ME! The last time United were in a position this shite, it was under Moyesy. Jose has dropped £350m. If the ‘legends’ are critiquing a shite brand of football and 7th in the league, they are well within their rights.
But football is all about the hierarchy. Mourinho has a sharp tongue, he’s handsome and he’s won things. His failings can’t possibly be down to his lack of interest in developing his ideas, could it? And look, I spent 11 years arguing Wenger was past it, and regardless of how correct my commentary was, people still wanted to side with the ill-informed folk who pushed a ‘good old Arsene’ narrative.
The irony that the manager who nailed Wenger so perfectly is now begging for the same ‘look the other way’ treatment is not lost on any of us.
Anyway, I can’t wait for today. We should be winning this. But football is a cruel beast and Jose always raises the bar for Arsenal. Mix in the fact that Emery has never beaten Jose in 5 attempts, and you start to worry.
However, this is a different era, we have the winds of progress on our side, the Arsenal players will go to war for Emery, and it’s about fucking time we put the Mourinho hoodoo to bed.
I am so excited.
See you on the other side. x
P.S. Listen to my fucking podcast.
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Survived 10 min of Manure steam…
Steadied in the next 10
We just started playing a bit
Xhara is missed (!)…
Emery seems to have stopped Ramsey dilly dally for the moment
C”mon .
This looks like a 0-0 game in the making
Zzzzzzz
Been good the last 5/7 minutes
Kolasinac looks most likely to open UTD up.
His ball control is woeful though.
MUSTAFI YEESSSSSSS
Yes!
MUSTAFI
Fuck manUre
Mustafi header
1
Lol
Oops
Couldn’t be more wrong
We are clearly the better team.
They seem to be running around like headless chickens
Come ON!!!!! Fuck yes!!!
1 up
fucking yes!
Shocking by De Gea lol
Fuckin cmon
Theatre of disputable penalties
YES!!!!
Now go and get a few more!!!
To the Arsenal 1-nil!!!
Fuck off Maureen!
De Gea lol
Iwobi gets it because he makes really stupid decisions at times.
De -down- Gear screwed up
Back in the Fergie days, would have not counted.
Guendouzi has to stop the stupid fucking decisions.
…We are a second half team
Don’t forget that lads
Did dea gea make that mistake to oust mourinho?
It’s a jinx if we go in ahead at half time 😉
Can Kolasinac be our Walker or Mendy?! He has been fantastic. Run after run in yet another game.
I miss Xhaka
We can’t sit back and rest on this… we need to buy some insurance. They’re on the canvas… knock them out.
Bailly, if we were looking at him, I would stop looking at him.
Bullshit.
Iwobi gets it because he makes really stupid decisions at times.
Like Ramsey right? I mean we can name a few others making stupid decisions
Stupid foul there!!
Iwobi again a fucking lazy cunt.
Guendouzis fault..
What a cunt.
We just cannot defend.
We’re fucked in terms of top 4, because we cant hold a lead.
Fucking dickheads.
Guendouzi with a stupid foul
Iwobi you useless moron
Tell me again how Arsenal have decisions going their way. Second game in a row butchered.
Poor from Guendouzi, no need
What the fvck Iwobi?
He just left the ball roll
Fucking bullshit.
Unbelievably stupid foul from Guendouzi.
Needless.
They have nothing and now we’ve invited the crowd into it.
That was calamitous.
Fucking stupid
Leno should push it out for a corner
No one swamped the cut back before the tap in
WTF???
Herrera clearly offside.
Dumb dumb, couldn’t even clear Rob fucking Holding
Wtf is Iwobi watchingthe ball go past him. And Guen ffs.
Martial has as many goals as Ozil, Ramsey, Iwobi and Mykhitaryan.
But apparently that doesnt matter.
Embarrassing. Shit.
Damn it….. we should have tried to clear it. Leno should have tried to parry for a corner.
Offside.
Offside not called too
Iwobi looks like he ate a full English before coming out, so sluggish
That was really really stupid from Guendouzi… as I said we need to cut out these mistakes.
At this rate Iwobi will be hooked at half time. Really poor from him.
How that dopy flat headed Rashford didn’t get a yellow there
So poor defensively, two clean sheets in December is the stuff of nightmares. Really annoyed with that stupid foul by Guendouzi.
What the fuck was Iwobi doing on the goal?
Serious injury for Holding
How’s Ramsey looking? Dithering fuck
Aaron you fucking greedy bastard.
Dale
Your best mate Iwobi looks amazing.
Another dumb foul.
We are really allowing United back into this game to slow passing out from the back poor negative play at the moment. Wankers!
The focus is on Iwobi once gambon the resident online manager says. What was Holding doing? Ramsey? A bunch of players let Martial get to a ball he had no business getting too
What a crap tackle by Mustafi. FFS.
Yeah, Mustafi done good there ffs
We’re asking to go behind.
We make it so easy for the opposition.
Iwobi was the closest to the ball.
And right before that he stopped running for the ball that got to de gea.
Could do with HT
Need some of that Unai pixy dust
That’s a red card
Refs still cheating at Old Trafford
We really need to hold on until the half. Hopefully we bring our usual 2nd have blitz after the break.
That dangerous tackle man.
Big problem that. That’s why you take a risk with playing a back 3 when you have not a lot of CH’s to begin with
gambon don’t be a tool, a lot of the players have looked “amazing” thus far
That’s an absolute red card for Rojo. No question.
WTF are Manure doing to our players?!
Get to halftime and make a change again I guess …or is this the day it doesn’t work?
I can see changes at half time again from Emery. They are there for the taking but we’re letting them into this unnecessarily.
Though that Holding injury might put a spanner in the works in terms of changes.
United are dirty as fuck.
Man U at their cunting best injuring our players
Yeah, Mourinho has asked his cunts to go out and foul persistently
Let’s get to halftime tied… gather our thoughts, have a breather and win the game 😉
It was a confluence of silly stuff again.
Stupid foul. Martial made most of it of course.
Leno palmed it. Fucking pushed it out. Looked enough coverage there.
Iwobi didn’t bloody even try to stop the cutback
Fucking Maure resorts to try kicking us off the pitch now. Rashford hurt Holding, Rojo lunch etc.
Give it back, man.
Yellow started flying…
That late booking. Dafug is Mariner doing?!
We’ve lost our early fire
Red card looking very likely
Iwobi off at half time
Bring in Mikhi or Lacca
This game doesn’t finish with 22 players on the pitch.
Lacazette at HT for me.
Ramsey down hurt jarring his foot. Hopefully fine. Or Emery would have a problem.
Ramsey couldn’t even tackle properly, hurt himself….
Iwobi screwed three times before their equaliser.
Gave the ball away first time when he could’ve ran with it.
Didn’t chase down a ball he could’ve got to.
Asleep on goal.
Manchester United are the biggest bunch of dog cunts led by a fucken shameless cunt.
Look at what they are derided to now. Playing shit hack football.
The ref gave bell a yellow because man U players told him to. A load of shit.
Ramsey walking pace …oops
Paulinho
Agree on your last post
Looks like an ugly night in Manchester.
Typical mouninho tactic.
Lingard with a dive on a yellow card.
Ramsey will come off. Iwobi will stay
The youngster in guen and Iwobi have been really disappointing and let us down this half.
Iwobi will get to stay because of Ramsey’s injury but he needs to improve drastically, he’s playing like he’s high. Not a clue what is happening around him and no energy
Mhki and Laca in for Ramsey and Iwobi definitely for 2nd half