I remember once as a child, in science class, I called a pal of mine fat in front of a teacher. Mr Smith said,
‘If you were stuck up a mountain, who’d die first? You, because you’re a skinny runt’
‘Well bitch,’ I responded.
‘I’d rather die a painful hypothermic death than look terrible in that Puma shirt I know is coming in 10 years’
I jest, I grew out of football kits by the time I was 11 years old.
Point to my story, never write off a fat kid. You know who learnt that the hard way? Liam Brady. He passed on Harry Kane.
“He was chubby and not very athletic, but we got it wrong.
“Even Tottenham loaned him out to the lower leagues three or four times though.
“But he’s building a great career thanks to his determination and he deserves it.”
What I love about those comments is the sole reasoning for not keeping him on seems to be ‘he was a bit fat.’ No comment on his technical ability, his lack of goals, or his attitude. Just that he was a bit chubby. What sort of analysis is that? I mean, in the moment, when you’re down the Duck and Two Cats with the lads, you’d make those comments for show. But in 2018, when Harry is worth £150m, wouldn’t you rather just make up some nonsense excuse about his fatigue levels? Quite amazing Brady would shower himself in an amateur fat shaming analysis.
Anyway, never write off a chubby kid, they might one day rule the world.
My mate from school? No. He didn’t rule the world. But I tell you one thing, he’d rule you in a drinking session if it stretched longer than 2 days.
In other news, Hector Bellerin reckons Alexis was giving it 100% for Arsenal.
“Alexis is an amazing player. One of the best in the Premier League for sure but he is a player who always wants to win. He demands from everyone, sometimes it can be too much.
“The great thing is he wants to win, to give 100 per cent. This season maybe things weren’t going as well for him but I truly believe he was giving 100 per cent.”
“There was one game against Crystal Palace. We celebrated a goal and some of the players went I stayed back, I was talking to Calum Chambers because there was some tactical stuff.
“For me that was more important than celebrating the goal.”
Can you spot the lie? I mean, pretty clear to me that Bellerin would never be discussing tactics, especially not with Calum Chambers. Anyway, no player is going to come out and slag Alexis off, you just don’t do it. Take the lack of ‘cheerio’ insta posts as the most solid sign that the player wasn’t liked. Also, take it from me, no one was a fan. He was a selfish man, and a bit dim.
Good riddance. I mean, not really. But, you know, like when a girlfriend you love leaves you for SOME SUBSTANDARD HUMAN you’re usually a touch bitter. You always find someone better. Eventually. Right? You do, right?
Alone this Valentine’s day? Feeling sad? Fear not, sadness down to Valentine’s day is for the weak. Football is your love. She’ll never betray you. Check out what the very talented lads over at Art Of Football knocked together. It’s about love. It’s for Valentine’s day.
This is their spiel.
‘Our love story with football has been a lifetime in the making – And this animation has felt like a lifetime in the making. We set out on this project in September 2016 with the intention of releasing it in December 2017. Two Christmases, three breakdowns, and 1600 hand drawings later and we are proud (relieved) to present to you our first short-film: ‘Football, We Love You’
‘The animation is completely done by hand. It was created by 23 Year-olds Gabe Cuthbert (Founder of Art of Football) and close friend Matt Williams (Subject Studio). The idea was to squeeze as many of our favourite moments and players into an end-to-end, high-drama sequence of play. It’s a magnified look at all football has to offer, the ebbing flow from highs to lows; expecting the unexpected; and the eternal hope that this match is the match you have your DEENEEEEEEEEEY moment.’
Buy one of their shirts, they’re top lads, and I salute their hustle and dedication to a craft. SHIRT HERE.
Arsenal head to Ostersunds on Thursday night for an away day on an artificial pitch AND temperatures of -20 degrees. That’s obscene. At least their twitter account has some warm banter to thaw your cold toes.
— Östersunds FK (@ofk_1996) February 12, 2018
Finally, before I go, I have a VERY exciting guest for the League Cup final preview podcast. You will not be disappointed.
So why not warm up for that by listening to our latest podcast below?