No man woke up this morning looking as good as Hector.
When they say the internet is destroying mans self-esteem, they should be more specific.
Hector is destroying self-esteem.
What a boat.
If you’re upset by our right back dressing nicely and taking pictures of himself, you need to go for a brisk walk and jump in the sea.
‘HE SHOULD FOCUS ON HIS GAME’
Always an absolute favourite RAGE of mine. If he’s out smashing coke till 6 in the morning at Egg raving hard to a minimal tech set by underground deck legend Rave-Wobi-7teyn, then we can start critiquing his hobbies.
Until that day, just let him be pretty.
ONTO THE HARD NEWS.
Arsenal are doing things the Arsenal way, making for super slow progress on the Aubameyang move.
Ivan: What’s the price?
Ivan: How about £14m
Ivan: *slides fruit hamper across desk, winks*
The German club have leaked to the press that they’d be happy to let the deal move into the summer. Rapha Honigstein said that Arsenal are playing games with painfully silly bids, the same way we did when we tried to sign Xhaka. There’s a lot of disgruntled rumblings.
I heard an inside rumbling that the deal is progressing, but the hold up is more about Dortmund finding a suitable replacement. Word yesterday afternoon was that they were lining up Ben Yedder of Sevilla. There are more stories this morning that say the Giroud deal still isn’t off the table, so we’ll see.
SO MUCH SUBTERFUGE NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED
My guess? It’s going to happen. Auba is 28 years old until he’s 29. He’s hitting peak value. Dortmund had no interesting offers for the Gabonese last summer. They’re a selling club. They need a bit of a rebuild and £60m would certainly help.
Also, they don’t want to keep a badly behaved player in the squad. The Bundesliga outside Bayern Munich is ridiculous. There are 4 points between 2nd and 10th. They need everyone on board if they’re going to make Champions League this season.
I also think Michael Zorc has to play the game with the fans. He can’t be seen to be selling for a pittance. He can’t be seen as weak by selling his best player when his team are in contention for CL. He’s going to make this difficult for us, especially as it looks like Sven M is raiding his old office.
The German press reckon it’s just a big game of poker right now, we want to pay £45m, they want £60m. We’ll find a way.
Also, I think we all just need to calm the fuck down. Just remember how sad you felt when we signed Kim Kallstrom with a broken back, now think about what we’re trying to do. It’s all goooooood.
I do hope the club have a cut off date on the deal, and that there’s a plan b. Not sure we’re going to have a good run-in where the squad is right now. Rumours Carrasco and Moura are available and we know no one has touched Draxler.
Back in the UK, with City in for another £50m+ defender to their swollen ranks, Arsenal have sent Dick Law up to the midlands to negotiate a deal to bring Jonny Evans to Arsenal in exchange for Matty Debuchy + £10m. Pretty good deal if you ask me.
There’s a few more days left, but if we pull off all the deals, it’ll go down as one of the best transfer windows of the last 10 years.
A lot can still go wrong. This is football after all, but at least we’re now at the stage where you can see we tried something.
Right, listen or watch the podcast. Do NOT critique my high fashion, we can’t all be Hector.