I am LOVING the news at the moment. It’s alive. It’s exciting. It’s all the things I dreamed of.
Here’s the update.
Theo Walcott has left the building and he’s off to Everton. The player who rocked 12 dreary years with us, scored 20 goals for a Nespresso machine, and banged in over 100 goals for us has slipped out the back door moving to Everton for a whopping £20m. That’s solid money if you ask me.
No one can ever fault his professionalism. Spies at the club told me he was an elite trainer if you told him to eat 10 bags of peas for 15 weeks and consume nothing, he’d do it and some. Never think he didn’t care. I think the problem in the end is he wasn’t given a specific role at the club, and he wasn’t trained to play like a killer… or more to the point, if you’re not a killer to start with, it’s very difficult to reach those sorts of levels. You’re either Sanchez or you’re not.
Anyway, he’ll be great at Everton. His pace is still lethal, his finishing can be exceptional, and he’ll be coached to world-class standards under the much revered Allardici.
Rhys Nelson to Madrid? Come back to me when you can make an impact against the kids of Nottingham Forest, or in the worst Arsenal midfield in 20 years, then we’ll maybe talk about Madrid. Honestly, if he’s going to go anywhere, it should be Dortmund or Monaco. Madrid? Never. I’d stick around for Arsenal post-Wenger, but damn, I’m an advertising chump, what do I know.
The Sanchez story is still twisting and turning. Rumours that Liverpool are mounting a bid started to surface because of the Raiola influence in the Mikki deal. I still think it’s pretty nailed on he’s going to United. I think the stories about Mikki not being keen on AFC are just rumours. He’s out in the cold at United and wants to play. If he knows PEA is going to Arsenal, I can’t believe he’ll be anything other than grateful to get out of Manchester.
Interesting that we’re engaging with a super agent regardless.
Another carry over from yesterday is that the interest in Malcolm is still red hot. Matt Spiro, French football specialist, reckons we’re signing him. There’s also strong rumours that we’re tracking Leon Bailey of Leverkusen. Another twenty-year-old speed demon who I’ve been tracking over the course of at least two videos. It looks like we’re parallel pathing two young talents to pick up the slack Walcott has left.
THIS IS PLANNING
Also, really not sure what’s up with Arsenal fans this window. I’ve been getting shit for 10 years because I’ve slated the shit performance of our recruitment, always hushed by the patronising chant of ‘judge him in May’, now I’m excited everyone’s saying I’m being conned?
I’ve sat through Kim Kallstrom with a broken back. I’ve had the second coming of Jens, Thierry, and Sol Campbell. I’ve been there when we’ve been so down on our luck, we were hoping for a 40-year-old Beckham would join. I’ve had the banter years when Wenger has just ignored issues entirely because he couldn’t find perfection.
Now we’re solving Alexis and Theo leaving with Aubamayeng, Mikki and Malcolm and people want me to complain?
That’s a good run if it happens and it’s a huge departure from our nothing burger transfer windows of yesteryear.
However, I’ll give it to you, many of you are suffering Arsenal transfer window PTSD. But fear not, if Le Grove is here stroking your cold sweats, know that this darkness will pass.
Imagine this is flu, we’ve spent the last ten years sick, unable to get out of bed. The fever is passing now, but we’re still weak… there are signs of improving. In 18 months time, we’ll be able to get out of bed. It’s coming, there’s no stopping the recovery.
I’m positive. I know everyone thinks Le Grove is some sort of pantomime, but we’ve just been calling out Arsene Wenger’s bullshit for 10 years because we saw it coming. Not only that, we’ve been teeing up how to fix it. Suggesting scouts, infrastructure ideas, coaches, sporting directors, ways to spend money…
Now all those things are happening, I can’t complain. The positive spin isn’t me eating shit I hear from agents or people at the club, it’s not feeding you bullshit propaganda, it’s just calling out progress when it happens.
No doubt I’ll still be bitching after Wenger goes, but my angst has always focused on what’s real. It’s never been because the site plays up to an audience. So if there’s a change in tone, that’s because I see a change in the club.
Plenty more meltdowns are still to come between now and the end of Wenger’s tenure, but like any bad experience, as long as you can see good things on the horizon, you can pull through.
One thing I will say, and I take no pleasure in this, but all those years people told us we weren’t real fans? All the times people said we didn’t know football? All that shit about how good Wenger would be with money? How injuries were about luck? About how Wenger did tactics? The judge him in May, September and January crowd? The fans that blamed the internet for substandard performances? The people who built followings from being damagingly wrong about the manager?
Always remember, you lot were on the money. Heroes, each and every one of you.
Anyway, we’re all one team one dream now. The Wenger show is coming to an end, so let’s start looking toward the light!
AND LISTEN TO MY FUCKING PODCAST xx