Arsene grounds us in the comfort of predictable farce

by .

Screen Shot 2017-08-11 at 21.13.18

Hands up if you love Giroud a bit more this season?

We live in a chaotic world. Nothing makes sense. Billionaire trust fund kids are promoted as saviours of the working class. Chunks of our society are bitching like snowflakes about the indignity of not being able to say mean things to people that don’t look like them. Football clubs are raking in hundreds of millions, but can’t justify a living wage for hard working locals.

… but in the melee of madness… Arsenal will always provide comfort and stability.

I’m not sure how genuine the ‘hope’ was this season. But it didn’t take long for the docile masses to realise Arsene Wenger hadn’t really changed much and the club we adore was in for a helluva season.

Things started well for hope. Young, beautiful, and unsullied. Our new signing nodded in a header from 9 yards in under two minutes. Bellerin controlled a switch of play out right, he rolled it into Elneney who dropped a precision first-time pass for Lacazette to bury with training ground ease. Wonderful, we thought.

‘This is different, lads’

… said ‘that fan’ you’ve suffered listening to for ten years, despite consistently shocking predictions about the 2nd coming of Wenger.

Within 3 minutes, hope had been shackled and spanked. Mcguire of all people kept a ball in at the back post, Cech tried to cover, but Ozaki nodded into the net with, brushing Xhaka’s meek defence with embarrassing ease.

Hope by now had slipped into muscle memory, fans slumped in seats watched as Granit ‘100% HIPSTER FOOTBALL ICON’ Xhaka made another big mistake, passing to a figment of his imagination, allowing Albrighton to pounce, cross, and let Vardy in to score.

We equalised before half-time, Lacazette and Kolasinac combining to offer Danny Welbeck the most gift wrapped of goals that he still needed two touches to finish. Bless him, he really needed that goal, hopefully, we see a more decisive version of him moving forward.

Anyway, it didn’t matter. The same old Arsenal was there for all to see. Jamie Vardy pushed Leicester into the lead in the second half with an unchallenged header from a corner. Arsene Wenger dabbled in some mad in-game tinkering. Two left backs played in the middle of defence, we had a right back at left back and we put a midfielder at right back. Literally no centre backs on the field of play. Wenger dropping Elneney to the bench despite trying him at CB in preseason.

Baffling though it was, Rambo tucked in a nicely taken goal from a chipped Xhaka pass. The Welshman had no blue shirts on him, but the finish really was top notch. Then to cap it off, Giroud placed a header in off the upright, under the weight of two bully boy Leicester players trying to beast him to the floor with dark art thuggery.

We took the three points, but the message of our season had been delivered. Our formation isn’t as strong as we’d hoped. Our midfield is grossly underprepared. Our approach to defending as a team is still a total shambles. Such a shame as well, because we have a lot of talent at our disposal, it really should be working harder.

Conceding three goals to Leicester at home simply isn’t good enough. But this is Arsenal. We’re in the race for the top 6 and I have the feeling we’ve summoned the spirit of Newcastle under Kevin Keegan 1996. We will have wildly spectacular games. Granit Xhaka will look like a hero in some moments. Ozil will turn superhero vision when he’s feeling it. We’ll have Sanchez moments. We certainly have a player in Lacazette, who is a ferret of a striker, hiding in the blindspots ready to pounce on any opportunity to feast. Our formation will serve up excitement when it’s in the mood. No doubt.

… but we have to be real. If you don’t base your footballing philosophy in 2017, you’ll struggle. If you finish 5th in 2016, adding 2 players is not going to push you to the next level. If pressing is optional, you might have an attitude issue. If you roll into a season with 6 important players with one year left on their deal, you might not get the maximum out of their talents, and that ‘fuck it attitude’ might infect the rest of the squad. If you have a manager everyone knows is done, players will be on 80%, give or take 20% dependent on the occasion.

The result was great today, but we created an acid rave at a kids balloon party. Too much craziness, too much drama, but all the same old problems.

This year will be a slog, but tell me something you all didn’t know already?


663 Responses to “Arsene grounds us in the comfort of predictable farce”

Jump to comment form ↓

  1. Emiratesstroller

    Bamford 10

    We relied on Koscielny and Mustafi last season when we conceded 46 goals in
    EPL. It is not just about them. You have to factor in squad players as well as wing backs..

    Let’s be honest we continue to concede goals from set pieces and corners whoever plays in team and that is down to zonal marking and very poor positioning..

  2. Sanmi

    But I thought we had put this to bed? We conceded those goals because our main CB were missing. Why use it to rate our defense?

    Your darling Chelsea with defense crashed with supposed best Dm, yes they had a red, but it was part of the game not that they were injured.

  3. Bamford10

    I really am perplexed about what the fuck Klopp is doing at Liverpool defensively. He started Alberto Moreno in the XI yesterday. This is a player who is universally regarded as a disaster. As much as I like Klopp, his laudatory comments about Wenger and about not always solving problems through spending make me think he may be developing at least one Wenger-like failing.

  4. Sanmi

    EmiratesstrollerAugust 13, 2017 13:03:43
    Bamford 10We relied on Koscielny and Mustafi last season when we conceded 46 goals in
    EPL. It is not just about them. You have to factor in squad players as well as wing backs.

    They hardly played together. Don’t make it up

  5. Bamford10


    Fair enough. I’m just saying that we will be better defensively with those players in the XI. For a number of reasons.

  6. Pierre

    Re ozil.. He was quality in last 2 Cup finals or don’t they qualify as big games

    I agree there are certain games that pass him by, normally against high pressing teams like Liverpool and spurs away … These are the games he should be left out

  7. Emiratesstroller

    When you discuss our defence it is not just about recruiting playing personnel, but you have to factor in the system, potential weaknesses and. more importantly whether the players have the chemistry to play well together.

    We see the same problems and weaknesses every year with absolutely no attempt by management and coaching staff to do something about it.

    Pierre and Sanmi misunderstand the point I am making.

    I made it clear early on that it is not about buying the most or expensive players on the planet to operate a successful defence. As I pointed out George Graham’s defence were low budget players recruited from unfashionable clubs,
    but they were turned into well balanced and highly effective unit.

  8. HillWood

    Wenger doesn’t take defending seriously
    The only thing Wenger takes seriously is his monthly wage cheque

  9. raptora

    Ozil sucked even vs Chelsea in the FAC final.
    All the team was up for the fight with Xhaka and Ramsey being extremely up for it. Then we had Welbeck and Alexis up front giving Chelsea no time on the ball by always pressuring them. Our defenders were great, bar Holding. Ozil excelled after Chelsea were left with 10 men and went for the equalizer leaving their defence open. Still Ozil missed like 3 100% goal scoring situations, leaving Chelsea with hope till the very end. In no way or form would I give Ozil a good score in that game. He was probably our number 11 best player in the game. Speaks volumes.

  10. Alexanderhenry


    You’re right about not having to have the most expensive defenders to be effective defensively. it’s how you set up.

    However, as GG prioritised defence over attack- especially later on during his time at arsenal, the team had problems scoring and became too reliant on Wright.

    Man utd became dominant with a more freewheeling, open style of play and definitely prioritised attack.

  11. raptora

    Man Utd were definitely solid in defence but surely they were a very offensive team. Reason why mouninho got sacked in the first place by Abramovich is that he wanted more passion, more glory, better football on the eye like United have. I mean they were never Barcelona but they always had a big number of chances to score. Not sure how Man United fans are okay with Jose being their coach. I’d stop watching my team for a while if I they pick a coach like him. Disgusting.

  12. peanuts&monkeys

    Arsenal is so diff than the top clubs of Europe. Even Atletico Madrid wants to win La Liga with all their heart.

    The culture fostered by WengerMF is such a disgrace even by English spineless standarss

  13. raptora

    “Even Atletico Madrid wants to win La Liga with all their heart.”

    Even Atletico Madrid has bought 10 players for more than £19m. We’ve bought 5.

  14. ThePuma9

    Ritchie should have been sent off there if the useless cunt refs are ever going to be consistent.

    Exactly what xhaka did last season clipped the heels of the attacker when he was away. They’re either both yellows or both reds. But cos he was an arsenal player he got a red.

  15. Don

    What’s going on??? From about 3:45 yesterday my comments would not load
    I was barred
    It’s happening nearly every night but the times change
    I can normally access the site again by 8:00 the next morning

    Pedro is there a reason for this? Is it deliberate or is it a mistake or what? I’d just like to know

  16. Don


    Agree with you on Ozil
    Total waster. All that talent and no application.
    Rather than adjusting and finding his groove he just seems to drift firther and further from the team.
    Rosicky used to spend half the season on the sidelines but when he came back he could slot into the side instantly and make things happen
    So could hleb and cesc
    What I’d give for any of them these days

  17. grooveydaddy


    There’s a list of banned words. I’m not exactly sure what’s on it, but it could be a reason for your posts not getting through??

  18. Don

    No mate

    I type hello
    Le grove
    All sorts and it just won’t post
    It all started with the arrival of the doctor
    I got binned with him I think and since then I can’t activate the comments after a certain time
    It’s driving me bananas

  19. Don

    Your comment here too.
    That won’t load
    So it’s defo some sort of restriction on me.
    But the curious element is that it only occurs between certain hours
    Which is ok if we have an early kick off but shit if we don’t

  20. steve


    Do you mean ridiculous red card as in it wasn’t a red card or it was ridiculous by Shelvey? Because it was definitely a red card.

  21. Don


    By moderating software do you mean you?
    My views are hardly outlandish. I’m pro Arsenal and I’m a conservative. That’s it
    My political preference surely couldn’t flag up on your software unless I posted something containing certain key words
    Like gr.a.p.e contains a certain word within its confines that flags up and a post cannot be completed.
    That said, is there anything I can do to change the situation?

  22. Don


    No chance
    It’s getting harder and harder to sign players. If we sell welbeck we would find it extremely difficult to replace him
    Prem experience, mobile, power, settled.
    Wenger would never let him go
    As soon as he’s fit he tends to start in one position or another.
    Also he’s flexible and adaptable.
    I would not let him go.
    We have good depth now
    Why jeopardise that? It’s hardly like we have a quality replacement lined up and we need the funds release
    Lemar is finished

  23. raptora

    Just listened to a Man United guest in the TV show. He said he is not happy with the road Man United took by selling Danny Welbeck and Chicharito. He said that especially Welbeck would have been invaluable and he has been missed for sure.

  24. Marko

    No chance
    It’s getting harder and harder to sign players. If we sell welbeck we would find it extremely difficult to replace him

    We only find it hard to sign players cause we don’t try hard enough. And we’re utterly useless at pulling the trigger on players. But if we were to get 20-30 million for a player who’s been injured alot the last couple years and whose best return is 9 goals in a season you fucking take it

  25. Bamford10

    No one is censoring you, Don. It happens to me from time to time too. I think it happens if you use a certain word or certain letter combination. The problem can then persist after that, regardless of what you type. No idea why.

  26. Don


    I know, we are slow on transfers, which is a big part of why welbeck should not be sold.
    Tell me who we could get in the next fortnight to replace him?
    Also, I rate welbeck
    He’s a nuisance for opposition defenders. Doesn’t stop running
    Total asset in my book

  27. gonsterous

    quick review on the managers…
    Pep- overspent (again)
    mourinho- I’m a bit on the fence with him at the moment. his season could go one of 2 ways.. win the title or get sacked by December.
    kloop- we may have dodged a Bullet with this guy…
    pochitoto ( the guy from spurs)- europa league, CL at a push…
    Wenger – not looking like the worst manager from a neutral point of view. but from an arsenal point of view, we need an upgrade… (nevertheless will be here for the next 2 years cause he is not ever going to get sacked)

  28. Don


    Very sensible and impartial analysis.
    I still think spurs and united are the most dangerous sides this year
    Man City will flatter to deceive at first but fall away
    We may do also
    Chelsea are done as I’ve said for weeks
    If we are going to win the league, this is our best chance.
    Good start on Friday
    Let’s keep the ball rolling, excuse the Pun

  29. Bamford10


    It’s disgusting and stupid. I can barely even look at those stories, they so frustrate me.

    While it’s a complicated situation, one thing they need to do going forward is keep white nationalist events totally and completely separated from counter-protests. Nothing good comes from these two groups being in close proximity.

  30. Bamford10


    Is there a reason you’re not writing your posts in sentences, with proper punctuation and to the end of the line? Your posts are painful to look at (never mind the content).

  31. Nigel Tufnel

    Wallace posted video earlier of Xhaka brilliant passing in game 1.

    Somehow, though, haters here ignore everything positive about his incredible passing skills, eye and touch/power.

    If you want to be neutral or fair, I’d say he made a big mistake that cost us a goal, and didn’t perform well on that corner.

    But the man had 2 excellent assists, not just average.

    Then that video Wallace posted. Find me one of that quality passing from round 1 , from any player in England. Go search
    youtube. I’d like to see it.

    So, most of you are haters, because we have an excellent player, but you choose to focus on the negative, as usual.

  32. Marko

    Don I actually like Welbeck he gives you workrate and hunger. But if we got offered around 30 million for a striker who can barely score I’d take it in a heartbeat.

  33. Bamford10


    If it were the first time Xhaka had made a bad decision with the ball in our third I’d agree with you. But it’s not. This was a problem last season as well. That’s not a minor problem. It’s a big one. He can pass the ball nicely all we like, but if he continues to make mistakes like that, it’s a problem. People are right to highlight it.

  34. Don

    Literally the best thing I’ve seen you post
    Keep them separate. With recent events and a certain president gaining power, America has fractured firther than ever. The last thing the states needs are two polar opposite but equally divisive groups getting together and further splintering the divide that already exists.
    Another tragic event over politics.
    We are going backwards as a species

    Yes I post like this as I run my own business and rarely have time to punctuate and structure my posts
    Hence the typos

  35. Nigel Tufnel

    I love to see brilliant football expert Bamford, who gets all his insights from fourfourtwo other clickbait sites, and judges players by their prices and rumoured prices. Now I have to read him getting wet over Bernardo Silva, etc, I know he’s a good player, maybe i would like him on Arsenal but…… your pronouncements of football genius…..

    I’d really love to know, because of your expert, definitive statements of his quality… How many minutes did you watch of Silva last season Bamford?

    Yeah, I thought so.