INJURY HEADACHE, but some good news ahead of cup final

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Good bloody morning! I’m back in the UK and it feels fucking GREAT!

We have a fresh podcast coming out for you tomorrow, Matt is fresh off a seperate podcast with Ian Wright for The Sun. Life couldn’t be better.

Well, it could be… GLORY ON SATURDAY would restore my faith in humanity. You know what else could? Arsenal giving £50,000 to help the fund for the victims of the Manchester disaster the other day. Nice work Arsenal, would be great to see other clubs follow in the same footsteps, I’ve no doubt the proper ones will.

Injury news is not looking particularly good for Wembley. Kieran Gibbs, a doubt, most likely him bottling it as per usual… let’s see what he’s made of. Laurent K is suspended. Mustafi apparently won’t make it. Leaving us with Holding and the horrible prospect of an incredibly rusty Per Mertesacker. That for me is just a total no-go… but if things get much worse, we really won’t have a choice.

Jose Mourinho won the Europa League last night. He took a Stoke game plan to squeeze out a victory against an incredibly green Ajax team. What a boring game. What made it even more hilarious was him palming it off as a treble. Like, gotta be the worst treble of all time. The tin pot Europa League and a League Cup.

Honestly, United fans can clap their wonderful manager, but really, that’s a silver bandage if ever I saw one. Durgy football, uninspired players, and a terrible year in the league. Call the trophies what you want, but that would not be exciting me if I were a United fan. It’d be the same sub-dread I have about Arsenal winning the FA Cup 4-0. Like a really spicy indian, good in the moment, but the pain the next day is regretful.


Get the fuck out of my face, you don’t need me to say that Wenger is done. I’ve led the calls. He’s being touted for the chop, but Mourinho, with WAY more investment, is being championed as a genius. Puuuuuurlease. I think he’ll struggle next season as well. But hey, we’ll see.


Anyway, that was my breaker slide. Danny Welbeck might also be injured for the final. Alfred called him as a ‘potential’ unexpected hero… being that he’ll miss a sitter in a dead game versus Everton, but he’ll score a winner away at Old Trafford. Would be nice to have him available.

Two players who WILL be fit are Chambo and Alexis. I mean, Alexis. You’d have to talk him down from playing if he stepped on a landmine. The guy would walk through brick walls with stumps. He’s literally our only hope, because we’re pretty sure Ozil will go missing as per usual? Our puff pastry, only comes out to play under perfect conditions.

Right, that’s all I have time for today because I actually have to talk to family and stuff.



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163 Responses to “INJURY HEADACHE, but some good news ahead of cup final”

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  1. Mick Kartun

    Laugh myself so hard and almost shit my pants when I peeped a look the cult website UNTOLD.

    – The old title front page: “Untold Arsenal: supporting the club, the manager and the team.”

    – The NEW title front page: “Untold Arsenal: supporting the club, the manager and the team, but not the owner.”


    You couldn’t make that shit up.

  2. Carts

    Although I recall Meetesacker coming out in support of Wenger, which fucked me off, in his last couple of interviews he’s been rightfully honest!

  3. Leedsgunner

    Wenger is playing with words again.

    After the Everton game, Arsene said that this group of players, because of what they have been through this season, he was sure of winning the title next season. Then he proceeded to say the squad was one or two players short.

    The truth is, Wenger is not talking about the same things when he speaking one or two players.

    The one or two players he is talking about is for fourth place… not the title.

    He knows, we all know, under his tenure we will never win the title again.

    The game has moved on… but Wenger refuses to change with it because he believes he knows better.

    He is the world’s most expensive cassette player in a digital world.

  4. Carts


    I’m flummoxed at how Wenger can actually sit there and come out with this crap.

    And the sad thing is that the likes of Ty and Untold’s cohort will simply lap it up.

    My biggest frustration with Wenger, as you said, is him not admitting that he’s finished. There’s absolutely no shame in admitting defeat.

    He’s like a boxer who won the British HW belt, and the WBO. But when it’s time for him to step up to WBC and IBF level, he’s found wanting.

    His camp consist’s of punching bags who don’t hit back and makes him look like a killer in training.

    You can see that his lisp is more pronounced; he’s starting to spill his brewski down his top that he’s been wearing for 4 days; and his reflexes are about as quick as a sloth taking a morning shit.

  5. ArseneisaFraud

    Carts: “… and his reflexes are about as quick as a sloth taking a morning shit”

    Thanks for the laughs mate!

  6. TR7

    Damn Bernardo Silva agrees a move to City. If there was one player I wanted us to sign it was Silva. City are going to be scary next season.

  7. Carts

    Bernardo Silva

    Though he plays the right MF role well for Monaco I’m not sure how he’d do playing right MF in the EPL.

    I think. stylistically, Bernardo should be David Silva’s replacement.

    However, City need to focus on a defensive signing and sort out their defensive play

  8. BigPat

    As good as city are you can only play 11 and they’re well equipped in the final 3rd already. Just showing off with their strength in depth.

  9. Joe

    gnarleygeorge9May 26, 2017 08:26:38
    “Kroenke is the main issue”Thankyou!

    Bet you weren’t saying that when he gave wenger 90m to spend

    Or when we were (scraping) winning in oct and nov and beat Chelsea.

    Didn’t hear one peep out of you about Kronke then.

    Now that wenger has fucked it again after spending 90m , its kronkes fault.

    It’s a greay way for wenger sympathizers to take the focus off wenger.

    Gnarled George.

    Would conte have competed as arsenal manager this season after spending 90m ?

    Would conte have beaten Leicester to the title last season.

    Would pep, Diego, allegri , sampaoli,etc. ????

    Would a manager who has half a clue only spend 10m and not buy one outfield player???

    But yeah. Kronke is the main issue

  10. Joe

    Big pat

    At least they are well covered for the inevitable injuries.

    We completely lose our shit once santi gets injured.

    Pep has just released a shit tonne of defenders. He will be re-enforcing the defence soon enough.

  11. Joe

    Man city will be a completely different team next season with Jesus being there from the off

    He is going to be a legend