Well, we might as well jump into silly season before it’s fully underway, we’ve been linked with NIGERIAN SENSATION Henry Onyekuru, from Belgian club Kas Eupen. I have heard of neither the player, nor the club. The 19-year-old had an incredible year, banging in 24 goals and dropping a wonderful 9 assists. He’s fast, has pretty decent control, and he reminds me a little of Demebele at Dortmund.
Now, on the face of it, you can’t knock those numbers. There are plenty of good players coming out of Belgium of late, but I have the feeling most trained outside the country before they hit greatness? I mean, Hazard was at Lille, Vermaelen (hardly great) was at Ajax… Tielemans looks pretty damn good though? Kolo and his brother were at Beveren. I mean, who knows. Problem I have with this sort of signing is they’re going to learn under Wenger.
Remember his last – you are just mad I didn’t pay £50m – striker signing? Yep, Yaya Sanogo. We’ve also had other unknowns. Park Chu-WHOTHEHELL. We had Baptista for a bit. What about Chamakh? What a laugh he was!
So excuse me for not crying with excitement over this one. Again, you have to ask who landed this name. Was it Rowley, or was it that new Leicester guy they’re blaming for Rob Holding?
In other more exciting news, turns out Usmanov does want Arsenal. He’s coming back in with another bid. I fear it’s futile, a clear case of Cold War jitters from Stan… and a bit of macho-man ego. Shame Stan isn’t as protective of his pride when it comes to overseeing a losing setup. It’s a shame he isn’t this aggressive about winning.
You fear wrenching the club from Stan is going to be a task and a half. It’s hard to know what to do as a fan? I mean, we have two choices at Wembley.
Make aggressive noises against Wenger, so Stan hears.
Make aggressive noises about Stan K because he’ll be in the ground. Can’t be fun to be booed at a final when all your rich pals are with you?
Now, I’m not sure going after the manager before or during an FA Cup final is smart. If we win, we won’t want to, if we lose, we’ll all be so depressed we’ll likely just go right home.
So for the FA Cup final, being super mean about Stan with witty A4 banners might be the juice he needs. Because after this, he won’t be back in the country for a year or so.
I mean, going for him on FA Cup final day still feels wasteful to a certain degree, I want to drink beer and sing about Freddie Ljungberg’s red hair. I don’t want to be mired in a civil war.
But we’ll see, when I’m drunk I’m easily influenced, and if the older boys are doing it, I’ll be right on that gravy train!
Finally, I’m super sad about that terrorist attack. I don’t want to be a scaremongering wimp, but the country is on red alert. We gotta be looking out for each other, because those snivelling bitches carrying out ‘Gods’ work because no one will sleep with them might have ideas about the cup final.
Also, word to the alt-right online here. I thought they were the tough guys? I thought the millennial liberals – who can’t even get about of bed when if someone jokes that vegans are boring – were the snowflake wimps? Then I look online and these tough guys are calling people who want to stand united ‘enablers’? They’re trying to tell global news channels we’re all scared? They’re trying to divide the good people of the UK?
Fuck off and grow up. Embarrassing carry on. Unpatriotic and shameful. Call yourself right wing? Total jokers. The Churchill you so often misquote and take out of context would be ashamed.
Anyway, that’s my say. See you on the other side.
I ❤️ MCR
PLUS: Listen to our podcast because it took many hours to complete.
Also, we recorded a pretty LIT FA CUP SPECIAL. Listen to it when it drops, or I’ll continue to pepper the blog with words I’m too old to use, fam.