PODCAST EDITION (at the bottom)
Oh, you didn’t like the title? Grow up you cry baby. If we can’t poke fun at our first world footballing problems, then what is the damn point?
Wenger is an autocratic monster continuing his power grip on the club against the will of the people. Sure the people are just football fans, and in the grand scheme of life, this isn’t the worst thing we’ll have to deal with. But in footballing terms, this is beyond disgusting. This is the most provocatively selfish move in elite football since a West Ham manager interfered with his captains wife.
This is the most disgraceful, shameless and underserved signing of a contract since Sepp Blatter gave his son the FIFA ticketing deal way back when. This is a sportingly corrupt.
It can’t even be described as a car crash because at least a car crash has some sort of perverse thrill about it. This is a slow bleed out, alone in the woods, with 2% battery and no reception. It’s like locking yourself in a food cupboard that has three years worth of supplies – the food is glutton free porridge, you have to eat it with water, in the dark, surrounded by the stench of misery – then you die.
Arsene Wenger jumped the shark in VR. He thinks Arsenal fans are passive like American fans who follow franchise sports and sit together in harmony like proper adults.
He is wrong. Arsenal fans are creative. We are passionate. We WILL come up with a middle-class answer to this that is both classy and effective.
To find out some of our ideas for the fan revolution, tune in and listen to our podcast below. Then let us know what you think. I’ll write about it tomorrow.
One more thing. DO NOT TAKE THIS LYING DOWN. Arsene Wenger is a slow poison on the club, he’ll never be great again and no amount of Circle of Access warchest stories will convince me otherwise. He spent £100m on Lucas, Mustafi and Xhaka last year. What do you think he’s going to do this summer after his players staged a silent revolt against him this season… and he loses his two superstars?
I wouldn’t trust Wenger to go to the chip shop, as for the list of names that has been leaked, totally depressing. A blend of 2014 Football Manager potential and kids you’d expect Southampton to sign.
Lacazette? Joke of a striker, just a fast Giroud. There’s a reason he’s still in France at 25 playing for a selling a club. Not elite.
M’Bappe? We have zero chance of signing the hottest young player in Europe.
Reus? A Robin Van Persie like injury record. Top quality, but a huge risk for a guy who will be 28 in May.
Ross Barkley? Don’t we have a version of him in Chamberlain? He was about as effective as him until a half decent manager coached him. He’ll go the way of Rambo, Wilshere and the British core if he comes to us. Most unappealing.
Dembele and Tierney of Celtic? Errr… really? Bit of a waste unless you’re bulking the squad with more unproven risk. Also, let’s be real here, Sutton would win the SPL these days.
Fact is, we are shopping in the second tier this summer, the club can’t even leak decent names, mainly because our scouting department is in decay. No one top class is coming in, because the best players want to develop and learn. You won’t do that under Wenger, unless defending like a ‘wolf’ or ‘having fun and expressing yourself with the handbrake off’ is your version of tactical education.
It’s going to be painful to watch. Here’s the thing though, and you really must remember this… our failings are not down to the quality of players, they’re down to a dead manager who surrounds himself with 1998. Give us to Klopp in July 2016 and I’ve no doubt we’d be pushing Chelsea (and I’m not even a fan of Klopp).
Anyway, tune into the podcast below, and let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Vive la révolution!