It be YAYA SANOGO’S BIRTHDAY… yeah, umm, ok… Party? No. Ok, well, who’s signing a card? No? Ok, we’ll just leave it there then.
Love how the Arsenal.com social team just weigh into everything with the beautiful naivety of a group who’ve never opened the cesspit of Twitter.
Cleaner: ‘What’s going on today people?’
Social Team: Rainbows!
Social Team: Butterflies, Atom & Humber, JELLY AND ICECREAM, WELBZ SNAPCHATTING, balloooooooons!
What a wonderful place. Then they open twitter and John from White City posts a picture of his chode next to a cut out of Aaron Ramsey playing against Bournemouth at number 10…
‘WHO’S YER DAAAA?’
You need someone at the creative review telling it as it is.
‘Nope, you can turn that into a dick joke’
‘Nope, if Theo says that, we’ll all laugh and call him a creep’
I appreciate the effort and genuniely think they’re doing an excellent job these days, but sometimes, things like Yaya’s birthday sneak through the net and it all gets a bit mean. Maybe they do it for the banter? Maybe I’m being double bantered because I don’t realize this is all a game AND THE JOKE IS ON ME?
Damn, you guys are good.
We’re thinking of running a birthday section on the podcast. What would you buy and where you take Yaya Sanogo on his 24th birthday?
Did you see the interview with Theo the other day when he said Arsene Wenger gives speeches like Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday? I feel like we’re in one of those world cup inside jokes where the players are all trying to outdo each other by inserting swing classics into their interviews.
Despressing thing is it’s working. I have people saying to me,
‘Pete, how do you know these players aren’t just saying these things naturally? Where is the evidence?’
The dark arts of PR, still a powerful tool in a world of ignorance. I mean, I’m living through that sh*t right now. Messing my pants Theresa May is going to say something that’ll get me a night flight back to London. Fingers crossed she’s Donald’s Theresa Bae.
That whole last section was dedicated to the last joke.
The provisional squad for FA Cup Southampton is in:
Cech, Ospina, Martinez, Bellerin, Debuchy, Jenkinson, Holding, Gabriel, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Mustafi, Monreal, Gibbs, Maitland-Niles, Coquelin, Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ozil, Walcott, Reine-Adelaide, Iwobi, Sanchez, Akpom, Perez, Giroud.
No Xhaka. Elneney ripping up the AFCON. Per Mertesacker and Debuchy are back in training. The only guy not in training is Santi.
Wenger is going to bring some kids into the game at the weekend. Maitland-Niles at right back?
I’d also hope to see a bit of rotation. How about we just don’t play Sanchez and give Perez a game, who has looked pretty decent in most games he’s run out for us in. Rambo next to Coq, because that’s the only option we have. Giroud through the middle. Team kind of picks itself.
I think we have to be kind of expecting a win. Southampton will still be buzzing that they’re going to Wembley for a final and I’d imagine playing Liverpool comes with some fatigue points. My worry is that their whole squad is built with pace and power in mind and if Puel has them hitting us hard with that aggressive press, we might flake a little. I also wonder how much pressure Wenger puts on the boys over the FA Cup when he’s in the mix for CL and Prem?
In other news, we’re being linked PROPER hard with Marco Reus as it becomes clear our talisman, Yaya Sanogo, might not spend his 25th birthday at the club. JK, this is more about Alexis DOING one and jogging off to £400k a week to enjoy the same salary bracket as Slimani over at Leicester might be.
Jeez, imagine getting a Slimani to watch if you were Chinese?That’d be upsetting. Just for the record, look at this pony stadium the new mega power of Chinese football, Tianjin Quanjin, play in.
Tbf, the Tripadvisor listing looks pretty legit. They have a ferris wheel and a place named creatively, ‘Italian Style Street’ that is rated 4 star.
Back to it, Alexis is off. Who is in? Marco Reus apparently. The player Wenger was originally tracking before he landed the Chilean because we couldn’t pinch the German. Now, I love Reus. He’s a bad ass. Wenger thinks he can play as a striker. He has pace to burn, he’s electric to watch… but the guy is an injury machine. 250 starts since 2009. I mean, I’m really not sure why we’d be in for him. He’s a constant let down in that area, whereas Sanchez is the opposite. His excellence outside his play comes in the fact he’s a robot that never gets injured.
… but there you go. Hopefully we can persuade him. Telling he’s the only one that hasn’t come out and said Wenger birthed him and is 75% likely to be his dad.
Right, I didn’t really talk about Wenger? Ok, Angry Of N5 did a superb job of talking about Wenger and his achievements comparing his record against the rest of history. Read here.
We are on iTunes here, so subscribe, this is now a thing.
We are on Google Play here.
… and if you want to listen to the cast here, just click play.