Is Wenger about to sign an extension? Read the latest conspiracy theory

by .

premature_ejaculation

‘What is it babe?…”Newsnow, it’s not good’

So a lot going on at Arsenal at the moment, the main talking point appears to be the absolute resignation of many fans that Arsene Wenger is going to pack it all in.

What’s leading to this thought?

  • He’s tying down a whole bunch of players at the same time, you know, the sort other managers might be moving on, namely Per M, Chambo, and a now broken Santi. Wenger hoarding names like old ice cream tubs and newspapers, a PTSD reaction to being forced to sell big names back in the day
  • The players are dropping the ‘the boss (because we have to call him that) is like a loving PE teacher that holds you in the shower without touching your safe place’ comments in the press. Ozil, Mustafi and Giroud all within a week.
  • There are two players that haven’t signed deals yet, that’s Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil.

Two thoughts I have on the last mentioned situation…

#1 Wenger likes to be the best paid, so he’ll be waiting to see what they get so he knows what figure to put on his contract for Stan K to sign off.

#2 Arsenal would never miss an opportunity to polish a big fat giant turd of a situation by drowning it with our three most important squad members, sitting on a table, signing away their lives.

The fans would crow…

‘Pedro, you see, Arsene is still an elite manager because they all signed up for more years of comfort under big papa bear’

It really is utterly depressing. Two more years of abject mediocrity. Watching those around us grow stronger as Wenger manages his team like a bored stay-at-home-mum’s ‘something to do for 2017 project’, because clearly, by now, it’s pretty damn obvious to us and him that he can’t beat out the competition, so he’s just here to make up the numbers.

Groundhog day is fast approaching too. I’m in a cold sweat. I can see the future and it’s so familiar it’s intimate. NOT in a sexy way.

We have Chelsea early February which will likely put a double taser and a friendly knee to the face to our title challenge and relegate us to a thrilling ‘will they / won’t they’ battle with Spurs. We’ll win out in an unlikely twist of fate at the death no doubt. Then we have the first leg of the Champions League, or as I like to call it, our penultimate game, against Bayern Munich, who will do to us what Swansea tried for 39minutes at the weekend… but with good players. We’ll duck out at the last 16 for the 7th straight year… but it’ll be fine, because it was the draw that did it. Not the complete incompetence of a manager who doesn’t quite agree with the 2017 version of football.

Anyway, dropping into a power misery here. I’m ill, I just killed another batch of plants (succulents, like, how does that happen?) and a took an ill-advised risk on a 2 day old chinese.

I can’t help it though, Wenger is the Rasputin of football, the man just doesn’t know when to call it a day. Based on fear of the unknown post-retirement life, an outrageous lust for power and years spent building an indestructible ivory tower, it was always fanciful to think he’d call time before shit hit the fan.

I just find it so sad. It’s the Never-ending story without a flying dog. It’s groundhog day without Bill Murray’s banter. It’s a bad version of Inception, I’m stuck at Arsenal vs West Brom, the stadium is spinning on an axis, I can see is Giroud warming up on 70minutes, the grating sound of Wenger struggling with his zipper reverberates like a hacksaw in my head, I’ve just dropped my £12.99 salt beef bagel in a puddle of top 4 mediocrity, Jonny Evans has equalised with his arse and my Bovril has a slight leak in the lid.

This is too much… tap me out.

No, read these stats from the Online Gooner who had a great day yesterday.

* 33 years in management – 4 League titles

* In 20 years at Arsenal – won 57.28% of our games. Won 9 trophies at an average of 127.44 games per trophy.

Now stats don’t mean anything until you compare like with like.

* Ferguson – won 59.67% of games. Games per trophy 45.45.

* Mourinho (with Chelsea) – won 66% of games. Games per trophy 46.

* George Graham – won 49.02% of games. Games per trophy 76.83.

Full story here.

Then take a read of this too. Blistering array of facts that’ll take any apologist to ground.

‘A good cook never blames his tools. Wenger has blamed financial doping, referees, the fourth official, Brexit, injuries, opposition tactics, good defending, the global financial crisis, and has gone as far as blaming the fans themselves for his unique ability to fail in the same manner every season. The concept of taking responsibility doesn’t exist at Arsenal, another thing unique among Europe’s big clubs. I’ve always wondered how any self-respecting business could allow a highly-paid employee to make the kind of embarrassing comments Wenger and his players make without censure. He has no excuses about being new to English football, all the players are his and he’s had over 12 years to do something of relevance – you’re lucky if you get 12 months at a Real Madrid or Bayern. Which makes me giggle whenever Wenger “reminds” us of the offers he’s turned down. I wonder how long Madrid or Bayern fans would tolerate Almunia in goal, or fourth place, or an 8-2 defeat!’

Before you potter off to hang yourself in the cloakroom, listen to the podcast below.

Thanks for the feedback, we’ll be upping our game on the next one and bringing you special sauce and a happy ending ‘erry week.

SEE YOU TOMORROW x

At least this guy is having a good day.

345 Responses to “Is Wenger about to sign an extension? Read the latest conspiracy theory”

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  1. Red&White4life

    “Is Wenger about to sign an extension?”

    I don’t understand why so many Grovers were certains of wenger leaving the club next summer lol
    He will not give up until he makes sure to have kill the club for good.

  2. Spanishdave

    It’s so clear that the club is sliding backwards, both financially and on the pitch.
    It’s hard to see that the board and owner and manager are not bothered about it.
    We have developed and taking part mentality and not a wining mentality and the king pin is Wenger because he doesn’t know what to do any more. He’s just taking the money and constantly making excuses which the board and owner seem to except. Pathetic club.

  3. GoonerDNA

    ArseneisaFraud, I think the only player not concerned by money is Flamini.

    Emiratestroller, not just poor on the market but the decison to sell Serge and Joel was that Ox and Theo were better and deserved more playing time which is just piss poor judgement.

  4. Micheal

    Arsenal slipping down the commercial table:

    The cynic in me says that the only realistic way to get rid of Wenger is through the financials. It is like pinching gangster Al Capone for tax fraud – not murder, corruption, gangsterism, etc.

    The real problem at AFC is Kroenke. Wenger simply manages Kroenke’s “frnachise” and so far, the money keeps rolling in. Why change it ?

    For sure the lucrative deals being wrapped up at ManUre, Spuds, etc means we will, sooner rather than later, fall behind. But for the moment we are keeping up.

    The crucial factor is that Kroenke has no interest in football. His only concern is his investment. We fans can argue about what happens on the pitch. Kroenke barely watches and takes no interest in this debate.

    So nothing will change at AFC until the financials deteriorate further. Those wishing us to generate more money from commercial revenue should be careful what they wish for.

  5. Cesc Appeal

    Gambon

    Like we were all saying yesterday, our commercials just represent everything Arsenal have become, sort of satisfactory, uninspired, safe, stable, not bringing with them a great deal of expectation and pressure etc

    If you started to talk mega money deals, well firstly you would have to gave on field success, that is why United and Chelsea and now City can ask for massive money in their new commercials, but second, those sponsor will expect to see on going success, that their brand if affiliated with sporting achievement, not the borefest that is Arsenal.

  6. Bamford10

    Again, Wenger said his staying on depended on ‘how things went this season’ for a reason. Namely, supporters’ unhappiness, disquiet and anger were communicated and registered by both him and the board.

    Such an atmosphere is undesirable for the club and its brand, and Wenger (in his vanity and pride) doesn’t want to work in an environment in which obscenities are being hurled at him any time he is twenty feet from fans.

    People, esp. British supporters, need to stop being so fatalistic about Wenger & his potential contract. If supporters express their unhappiness in a 1001 ways large and small, they can create an environment in which it makes so sense — image-wise, branding-wise — to keep Wenger on.

    Banners, pins, posters, stickers, tees, tweets, editorials, tomatoes. Did I mention tomatoes?

    Indeed one well-timed cream pie to the face and the man is headed for the exit.

    People should not accept two more pointless years of this moron. The rumors are to test the waters. Supporters need to reply with a resounding “fuck off!”.

  7. Cesc Appeal

    Bamford

    It doesn’t matter, short of mass revolt against it which you just won’t get, I mean just look on here, a vehement ‘we want Wenger gone’ blog for years, you still get a whole host of posters who would like him to stay on wouldn’t mind it.

    We heard the ‘one Wenger’ chants last season.

    The thing is, and the reason Kroenke and Wenger’s manipulations rankle me most, is this is not a normal consumer market where you can stop buying Hovis and move onto Warburton, this is something you have a sentimental attachment to, and Kroenke and Wenger know that, yeah there might be fury, yeah people might stay away from the Emirates for a game or two, but they know they will be back, they know they will buy merchandise, they know they will visit the website etc, because people are attached to the club, I’ve supported Arsenal for as long as I can remember since I was old enough to comprehend football and my uncle gave me an Arsenal shirt that covered my feet and looked like some kind of gown!

    That is the same story for a lot of fans far older than me.

    Kroenke and Wenger know that, their tactics to hold onto power have been abhorrent over the last decade, firstly they used up all of Wenger’s sentimental value, he’s only really started getting it in the neck the last couple of seasons, now they are trying all the PR spin they can and will likely bury the extension in the international break.

    This is a business, they are running it like a business, utilising the football to achieve business ends when most clubs utilise business to achieve football success that then leads to greater business and greater success. But it is a business with image issues and a stained reputation, so they are doing what all businesses, politicians etc do, spinning, spin everything, strategic PR ploys.

  8. Paulinho

    Bamford – He has already effectively signed the contract.

    The fans showed their true lily-livered colours at the end of last season as soon as dissent reached a certain point by singing ‘one Arsene Wenger’, and he knows they will do it again.

    The same cycle will just keep repeating itself. Even now, we beat Burnley on Sunday and the usual crowd will be back with the whole ‘unbeaten since City, scoring fifteen goals, we’re back in form after a rocky period’ spiel, until the next mini-collapse.

    Until fans keep possessing the memory of a goldfish, Wenger will continue to get away with repeating the same thing year after year. Phrasing it slightly differently is all he needs to do get them swooning and nodding their heads.

  9. Red&White4life

    “Did I mention tomatoes?”
    lol
    “Supporters need to reply with a resounding “fuck off!”.”
    Not a single chance that it happens.

  10. vicky

    Jenkinson deal to CP is off. How difficult it is for us to move players on when Man United are easily selling off their deadwoods for hefty money.

  11. Cesc Appeal

    Paulinho

    It is fascinating in a way, I would like to see a study or something done of the pro-Wenger rabble when this is all over, because they talk as if indoctrinated, his failures are nakedly the same every single year, but they just tag along with it year after year making the same assumptions and predictions then the same excuses.

    Maybe it is a coping mechanism, maybe when you have vehemently defended something for so long you either believe the lie or just cannot face backtracking?

  12. Red&White4life

    “Until fans keep possessing the memory of a goldfish, ”
    lol excellent, but it’s a bit of an insult to goldfishes…

  13. Red&White4life

    “Laurent Koscielny has defended Arsene Wenger’s recent record at Arsenal, saying his success can be measured by the impact he’s had on the players who have learned under him.”

    More lol, if that was possible…

  14. Bamford10

    Has everyone forgotten that it was only just a short time ago that the away supporters sang en masse, “We want Wenger out”?

    Jesus Christ. No wonder you lot still have a royal family.

    Sort of kidding, but not really.

  15. Rambo Ramsey

    There’s strong symbiotic relationships festered all over the club. Kroenke and Gazidis, Kroenke and Wenger, the geriatric board of directors and Kroenke, Wenger and his coaching staff, Wenger and most of his players. Clearly, none of it has the fans as part.

    Arsenal are doomed, I tell you.

  16. Bamford10

    Rambo

    Tomatoes at Kroenke is unfeasible, impractical and would accomplish nothing.

    Wenger is the problem, not Kroenke. The only mistake Kroenke has made is trusting in Arsene Wenger.

    Replace Kroenke and keep Wenger; all of the same problems remain. Keep Kroenke and replace Wenger with a winner; problems solved.

    Kroenke allows for whatever spending and is hands off. We don’t need any more than that from an owner provided we have a proper manager.

  17. Park Chu-young's left testicle

    Stockholm syndrome
    A psychological response wherein a captive begins to identify closely with his or her captors, as well as with their agenda and demands.

  18. Rambo Ramsey

    ‘Keep Kroenke and replace Wenger with a winner; problems solved.’

    Problem is its Kroenke who has the power to replace Wenger but is choosing not to. Its Kroenke who has the responsibility to make the best managerial appointment but I doubt he has the interest or the knowledge to carry it out.

  19. Wallace

    “Crystal Palace’s search for recruits has been frustrated after they failed to agree personal terms with the Arsenal full-back Carl Jenkinson following lengthy talks with the player and his representative.

    A fee of around £7m was agreed this week, with Arsène Wenger confirming on Thursday that the move was “basically down to him to find an agreement” with Palace.

    However, talks have yet to yield a compromise on the 24-year-old’s wage demands. The right-back, who played on loan under Sam Allardyce at West Ham, earns around £40,000 a week and is contracted to the summer of 2018. Palace are understood to have been willing to match that salary but the player is seeking an improvement on terms to swap Arsenal for a relegation scrap at Selhurst Park.

    Talks have ceased, with Palace exploring other options, albeit potentially with the scope to revisit the situation with Arsenal next week should they fail to make inroads elsewhere. Jenkinson remains intent upon leaving Arsenal and will hope interest firms up from his other suitors, among them Watford and West Bromwich Albion.”

  20. Sid

    Is Kroenke responsible for Wenger’s poor footballing tactics.? Well he has never objected to the high wages given to jokers like walcott ,,ox,mertesacker,jenkinson,diaby,arteta,flamini,etc . Dont understand how people can blame him for Wenger’s failures .

  21. Paulinho

    Cesc – Definitely an ego thing. Going back a few years a lot of these posters who now accept we need change would’ve vehemently disagreed with you if you didn’t think Denilson – for example – was the next Dunga. They’ve gradually changed their opinion when it comes to Wenger, but instead of ackknowledging they were wrong, they’ve leaped from Wenger being a genius, to why are the fans not busting Kroenke’s door down for not sacking Wenger years ago. The still get tetchy when Wenger’s actual failings are discussed or dissected in any great detail.

  22. Alexanderhenry

    Pedro

    An entertaining read but really, you’ve masteted the art of totally missing the point.

    If it were a sport, you’d be a four time Olympic gold medal winning, world record breaking, commonweslth European and UK champion of totally missing the point.
    That point being money of course.

    Ironically, there is a nugget of reality in your fun to read but essentially misguided post.

    Acknowledging the fact that wenger was ‘forced to sell big names back in the day”, is correct and unlike many on here, at least you accept that as a fact and a mitigating circumstance.

    None of the managers who prevailed over wenger had to do this, and none of them would have won a damned thing if they had.

    Unless arsenal fc can keep up with the bigger teams financially, the club will not move on. It’s that simple.

  23. Leftsidesanch

    Talks/offers of a new contract have likely been on the table all season. I rarely believe anything Wenger says, he has an ability to never answer a question but provide a response which seems to placate the questioner.

    I do believe him when he says he will assess in April/May. I never enjoy to see Arsenal fail but I would love to be flying high in 5th/6th, out of the clubs, unassailable lead by Spurs etc.

    Cos then, what spin can you put on signing a new contract?

  24. Frank Mc

    “That’s the problem Arsenal face. We pay above average salary to below average players and just can’t move them on.”

    This!

    Then faff about when it comes to rewarding top drawer players.

  25. Leftsidesanch

    We usually have a period of fixtures in Feb to March where everything unravels and this year upholds the tradition.

    15-Feb Munich – Away
    18th Feb – Round 5 of FA Cup – N
    25th Feb – Soton – Away PL
    4th Mar – L’Pool – Away PL
    7th Mar – Munich – Home
    11th Mar – Leicester City – Home

    I fully expect to see Wenger’s cowardly lot crumble during that month of games.

  26. Leftsidesanch

    Last four games in the lead read Spurs away, Man Utd home, Stoke away and Everton home. Potential for the campaign to end very badly. Just hoping that fraud hasn’t signed on by this point..

  27. Leftsidesanch

    Why are the club announcing deals for players but not for the 1, arguably two that people care about?

    Lack of ambition all around, I spose when Sanchez vanishes we should be comforted by the fact that Per is staying on!

  28. Spanishdave

    In a few weeks we will be out of the ECL , beaten by Chelsea, slipping down the league Wenger will then have some stick but it will take more for him to go.
    He is leaving the signing of a new contract later than before, Maybe he’s thinking it over.

  29. Wallace

    vicky

    “That’s the problem Arsenal face. We pay above average salary to below average players and just can’t move them on.”

    the article says Palace are happy to pay him what he earns here.

  30. vicky

    Wallace

    Well. it’s obvious that Jenko will demand a pay rise but the problem is the base itself (40K) is too high given his ability. We picked him up from Championship and gave him a massive pay rise over his previous salary. He wouldn’t have got anywhere near 40K at clubs like Burnley, Middlesborough which are more his level. We would face similar problems selling Gibbs, Theo, Ox, Ramsey and Wilshere if we decided to sell them.

  31. Joe

    Wallace

    You question how many matches I’ve been to.

    You live in England. When is the last time you went a match. Especially since you keep going on about how beautiful of football we play and your messiah is manager.

    I’ve been to 4. First one in 98

    But trust me if i lived in England , I would be going a lot more.

    Stones and glass houses Wallace.

    And all
    Of those saying why would wenger leave.

    Well pep left a job twice.

    And another kronke club, the Avalanche coach left because he didn’t agree with the direction of the club

    It happens. Wenger does not care about principles or the club. He cares about pocketing 8.5 m pounds.

    And now we can’t sell Jenkinson because wenger has bigged him
    Up to beinb something. He’s a championship level
    Player making 40k a week.

    Any other team he’d be on 15k.

    But that’s probably kronke’s fault he’s paid 40k

  32. Bamford10

    Alexander

    “Acknowledging the fact that Wenger was ‘forced to sell big names back in the day”

    This claim is somewhere between totally false and an exaggeration and red herring.

    Look at RVP, for example. Wenger didn’t HAVE to sell him. He chose to sell him — and to United, by the way. RVP wanted two things: more money and a genuine go at the title (better players around him).

    Could Wenger have afforded these things? Yes. He had ample money for this. But he would’ve needed to break with the “socialist” wage scale, and he would’ve needed to put his pride aside and sign a couple of top quality players.

    He had ample money to do this. Wenger chose not to, because his “principles” matter more to him than achieving great things does.

  33. Charlie Nick

    Bang on Bamford! Wenger was not “forced” to sell RVP for financial reasons, RVP forced his hand over lack of investment, ambition and strategy.
    Arsenal have a socialist wage structure that overpays mediocre players (Jenks $40k p/w, Bendtner $52k p/w, Diaby $60k p/w) and underpays genuine stars (RVP, Sanchez) Aaron Ramsey was offered $15k p/w by Ferguson and $45 by Arsenal.
    Herein lies the rub. Arsenal struggle to shift dead wood because we overpay them. Clubs who are on their level ability wise in the lower rungs of the prem and championship can’t afford the wage even if they can afford the asking price. The players are tied to Wenger in a dance of death where they are fantastically paid to produce very little. Wenger gets no dissent, Kroenke keeps the dosh rolling in and the plebs who care the most foot the bill.

  34. Pedro

    Joe, you’re doing that thing again where you make the same point over and over again. Change the record, people get it, Wenger is finished. Change the tune, talk about Burnley, talk about Spurs / City today… read what other people say and converse rather than ranting like you’re the only one who has noticed Wenger is done.