What a day. I’ve taken myself off Twitter. Since I’ve left, ALL the news has happened. I feel so disconnected. Naked almost. No one has called me a piss bucket for 3 days. Cold sweats. Must. Resist. The hell.
Firstly, Sam Allardyce was well and truly busted by a Fake Sheikh when sharing his views on how to game the transfer system. I can tell you for real, the Fake Sheikh involved was a concerned England fan who questioned whether the exBolton manager had the tactical and personal acumen to lead England to glory.
They took one for the team… and god bless their sweet, sweet entrapment. Well, I was game for Sam moving on until I heard the new favourite is Steve Bruce. Sweet Jesus. Has it come really come to this? That’s like firing your school caretaker for having weird stuff on his harddrive then giving Ian Huntley the job.
DON’T DO IT. At least give the role to someone who has had a modicum of success, somewhere, in the last ten years. What about Harry… no wait?
The Telegraph are also claiming there’s more to come. At least 8 Premier League managers past and present who’ve engaged in bad things. I mean, I have a list in my head. I think generally, you have to look at older names, people who’ve been in and around the shite clubs over the year and I would suspect a friendly face who has stunk out the league with rumours for years will be having difficulty with his granola this morning.
I hope Wenger isn’t involved. Imagine the banter. I mean, if he was ever implicated, you might nod your head, in the same way you do when a celebrity is implicated into Operation Yewtree.
‘Oh come on Dave, you didn’t suspect? A great manager like Wenger buying Bischoff, Chamakh and Park-Chu Young? It was obvious’
Luckily for us, Wenger has more integrity than the universe combined. He has so much integrity, when you’re around him and think about a lie, your nose starts to bleed like that little girls does in Stranger Things.
Bigger picture here is that when you flood a game of thick people with mountains of money, you’re going to have this happen. I mean, more to the point, when smart vultures circle a game of dimwits, this is what happens. One of the quotes from the Italian agent was something like…
‘… and I thought the Italian’s were corrupt’
Big slap in the face for the English. We do generally think we’re salt of the earth and above corruption. A pretty embarrassing notion really. Shameful anyone would do such things in football, but hey ho… as long as it’s not happening at Arsenal.
In Arsenal news, some are saying Ozil has signed, some are saying he hasn’t. Whatever is going on, it seems he’s about to lend us his best years, which is lovely. He might even earn more money than Arsene Wenger. Which means Wenger is about to push for a pay hike, or Arsenal are finally admitting that your manager doesn’t need to be paid the most when he’s not the best.
I love Ozil, he really owned the game at the weekend. We need more of that. He needs to be more to the team than just fancy passes. He needs to lead when the chips are down and he needs to fight like we know he can.
Jamie Vardy has come out in the press to give his side of the summer story.
“With people like Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil creating chances, Arsenal felt they could benefit me as much as I could them.
“But I also thought about the tactical aspect. You look at Arsenal’s style of play and they don’t get the ball forward quickly in the same way Leicester do for those runs I like to make in behind the defence.
“One thing that didn’t worry me was the idea that I wouldn’t be the ‘main man’ at Arsenal.”
I mean, mildly amusing someone like Jamie Vardy is making tactical decisions Arsenal should have been. But a fair point. I think we dodged a bullet there. I think I’m happy with Lucas Perez. He’s younger, looks a similar player but perhaps has more room to grow and perhaps has a bit more suitability to our game which doesn’t involve long balls over the top. Fairplay for Vardy. Living your life out in Leicester… I mean, whatever. London is way cooler. But whatever. Stick to your Nando’s and that fancy Asian place (Wagamama’s Jamie, it’s no big deal)
Theo Walcott is back in the press after a few good games… talking up his attitude.
“I want it more than anyone else, but that’s just me and the way that I work now. It’s a shame that it only hit me a few years ago because there’s been a slight change in my attitude ahead of big games.”
… he also said, ‘I want it more than anyone else’, which is fucking lovely. However, it was only last year he was saying the same things. This is October last year whilst talking about Alexis.
“He wants to win and he wants to achieve things. And, with that work-rate, if he can do it, then why can’t I do it?”
“Maybe that was missing a few years ago. Now, I’ve really thought, ‘I need to step up’ and players like that help.”
So the lesson here? Theo Walcott is all talk until he does this consistently. He has the right attributes to be a very potent player. But does he have the consistency? Does he have balls? Up to him. He needs to make it this season, because if he doesn’t, well, there will be another 3 year deal, but many questions from fans. No one likes questions, especially if they’re sent to your Twitter account under the hashtag #CuntFlap. I hate the internet.
Finally, if Hector Bellerin wasn’t already one of my favourite players, he’s just upped his game by dating an actress 9 years his senior. What a champ. Can just imagine the dinner date chat about FIFA 17 going down a dream.
FINALLY, big game against Basel in a few hours. They might play a little and large combo of Janko (LOL) and Doumbia. Are our centre backs ready to take them on? I know it’s sometimes confusing for players to deal with more than one striker. Hopefully we have a plan there. Also, a correction from yesterday, no Giroud for today. So I’d guess it’ll be Alexis up top, because it’s too early for Perez?
Catch ya’ll later… also, Ryder Cup this week. CANNOT WAIT. x