Good morning banter kings and queens. How we doing? Good? I’m feeling super fragile this morning. We had a work summer party. American’s really don’t get binge drinking culture. I started at like, 1ish… then we rolled off Guvnors Island at like, 430ish… half the agency melted away. Then by 6ish, there was about 10 people left. Then by 9pm, it was just me, hanging around a sandwich shop trying to haggle fried chicken they didn’t sell.
What a joke. The UK summer party vibe would have had that party going on until the next day. Very disappointed. Zero tales to tell this morning.
‘I’m a bit fuzzy this morning’ is about as serious as things are this morning. I remember my last summer party in the UK we had to send a creative home because he was hallucinating and talking to someone who wasn’t there. That’s a party.
You know where there is literally no party? Arsene Wenger’s office right now. He’s sitting there, playing solitaire while the training ground and his summer burns.
The Arsenal PR department, god bless em’ are trying to earn their corn… Wenger dropped this good news on Danny Welbeck.
“If the healing was not good, he would have been out until April. But the news was excellent and he will be back around Christmas.”
Basically, DO NOT START ON WENGER ABOUT JANUARY, NO SHOPPING REQUIRED.
Now, normally I’d jump for joy at such news, but remember, Arsenal are world-class at telling porkies about recovery times. This is basically Wenger’s way of saying, look, if we don’t get a striker, it’ll be fine because Danny ‘not so prolific’ Welbeck will be back early. The schedule will look like this:
- Starts training in December
- Starts playing mid-Jan
- Manager laments how long it takes for players to shake the rust post major injury
It’s amazing. Really amazing. Our striking issues aren’t because Danny isn’t about. It’s because we don’t have a world-class striker finishing the 3 Michelin star dinners Mesut Ozil is providing them. Welbeck isn’t going to change that. Sure he’s more mobile, delivers the same workrate as Giroud, but look, he’s a long way off being Aguerro. I also can’t believe we’re going into the first 4months of the season with just Giroud. Beyond terrible.
That’s the thing with this window. We’ve added one body, but we’ve not upgraded the squad. Wenger opting for stability. Instead of saying, ‘what happens in Cech gets injured?’, ‘what happens if we lose Giroud in September?’ and ‘what the hell happens if we lose Sanchez or Ozil for an extended period of time?’
We’re the same as we were last year. Same system. Basically the same players. Same manager. Same approach.
Where is the change that’ll put us to the level of the clubs coming through?
It’s a farce. But hey, if it goes tits up, at least it’ll be the last season of this we’ll have to deal with. Because even Stan K must be looking at the mess that’s unfolding and wondering if he needs any more of this. He’s the one that said he’d like to win things. Maybe it’s a turning point for him too?
It’s like all this #StanOut stuff is laughable. Firstly, you can’t hound an owner out on Twitter. Secondly, it’s a really naive way of making out the issue is someone other than Wenger. That money sitting there isn’t for anything other than building the club. Stan has all his finance in place for his Rams move. Cash in the bank is almost worthless for interest purposes and as we’ve documented countless times, it actually becomes worth less and less as the TV deals grow.
I mean, read this from Wenger yesterday:
“It is dangerous. English clubs suffocate themselves by buying players at a high price with high wages, if it goes wrong you are left with players with high wages,”
“The identity of the buyer multiplies transfers by two or three or even 10 times more.”
Complete indignation that players cost more when clubs from Europe know you’re caked in money. I mean, even more baffling that he’d talk about being left with players who earn too much money. He’s given Theo Walcott 2 £100k plus contracts. He made that mistake twice. He also didn’t pay Mikki £200k a week, so we missed out on a player who would have improved our right side immeasurably, because he doesn’t believe in wages being that high for anyone other than himself.
Even this is mad…
“It’s important to spend money but more important to spend it the right way. There are two markets, one for English clubs, one for the rest of Europe.”
We spent 8 years bemoaning having no cash. Now we’re bemoaning the impact of having too much cash. Like I always said back in the day, the issue was never really money, it was Wenger not wanting to spend it. It’s not even an applaudable trait. It’s reckless and it’s stupid.
Anyway, I’m winding myself up.
That’s damn exciting right? Yes it is. Preview tomorrow!
P.S. Gnabry looks like a new signing, am I right?