Wenger for England? No chance, there’s a better idea

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How’s it going you buggers? Some Brexiteers threatening to burn down my house and call my girlfriend a cheese face, so I thought I’d share this kind of pro-Brexit argument with you. HERE

So, what do we have football wise?


Yeah, the FA are considering the best, and Wenger is apparently on that list. I’m a hot-mess over this rumour. Imagine, Wenger ducking out of Arsenal to become LORD OF ENGLAND.

Now look, there were plenty of whoppers that thought Roy Hodgson was the right manager for England, hell, there was even one in the comments who thought 6 MOM out of 7 games Jack Wilshere wasn’t deserving of a starting position for England in the Euros… so look, the benchmark for great amongst the English is pretty damn low. So Wenger looks good.

He’s a past winner of big things. He’s basically a national treasure. He plays attractive football (streeeetch). He’s good with the press.


Come on people. Take away the romance here. Arsene Wenger works with beauty. I’m not talking Olivier Giroud on a QE2 sunlounger. I’m talking technical brilliance. Wenger doesn’t tolerate thugs, he can’t work with big personalities and he’s not very good at firing his teams up. Those are things you need as a manager. To connect with British people, you need a bit of fear about you. You can’t give us the silent treatment, in the hope something productive will happen. Far too continental. Far too, you know, EU-ish. Silence to the English means ‘look at your phone’ or banter. It’s not an introspection moment.

Aside from the basics. When you’re working with average talent, you need to be able to work and craft brilliant systems. Lars Lagerbäck has done it with Sweden for years, and more recently… and painfully, with Iceland. He understands talent. He understands when it’s poor. He understands how to get the most out of average. He gets how to structure componenet parts that can work. I’m not sure Wenger does. I’m not sure Wenger is that good at getting the most out of GREAT talent these days.

Wenger vs Conte? Can you imagine? Wenger vs Deschamps and that French team? I doubt it. He’s not of this era and he’ll never be. Face it.

But look, I’m not ruling him out here. Oh no. I’m suggesting we make his role more all-encompassing. Why don’t we make him the technical director of the FA? I mean, imagine that? Wenger working the reboot on England? Wouldn’t that be magic! It would.

He loves developing talent. He’d bring his technical coaching to the fore. He’d hire a bunch of French people packed full of culture, the sort we rejected as a nation recently, but mainly because no one told us Wenger might RESCUE THE FOOTBALL. He’d maybe have the power to restructure. He’d certainly fire people. He’d be the sort of modern knowledge the FA lack (which says more about the FA than Wenger himself). He’s also not a revolutionary, he’d just pull us into, like, the early 2000s. Which would be progress.

He’d be great. He’d also relish the power. Which might make him move from Arsenal.

I really like this idea. Not sure he’ll go for it. But what better way to duck out of Arsenal? It’s literally the only important role I can see him getting hired for. We’d eat him up! WE’D MAKE HIM A LORD! He’d get £8m a year no issue.

It’d be spectacular.

That’s my blog for the day. See you tomorrow. x

464 Responses to “Wenger for England? No chance, there’s a better idea”

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  1. Marko

    Yeah but forget the respectable numbers the amount of money spent on him over the years compared to those numbers isn’t exactly great.

  2. karim

    France v Italy is the one I’d like.

    Can’t see us beating Germany to be honest…
    Not saying Italy would be easier but I think, as De Rossi being out for Saturday night shows, a long tournament may have consequences on some members of the Squadra Azurra’s physical condition.

    Whereas Germany’s a machine with more consistent players.

    I hope Wales go to the semis, they can upset Belgium again imo.

  3. WengerEagle

    Worst kept secret in footy confirmed: Ibrahimovic to United.

    Most called it way back tbh, as soon as Mourinho was announced it was a done deal.

    They both love each other, United needed a striker and Ibrahimovic needed one last challenge.

  4. karim


    Definitely a big rivalry !
    Although the Germans have hurt us more in the past ( ’82, ’86 semi-finals ), playing Italy means more to the average French fan.

    They used to have fun with us, especially in club competitions, you would always have a feeling that we played 10 times better but they had that clinical edge over us and would always win.

    Most members of the Zidane generation played in Italy and learned a lot tactically, defensively,… and developed that hunger we were lacking then and we started to beat them on a regular basis.

    They took their revenge in 2006 though. : (

  5. STV


    Italy are German’s worst nightmare having never won against them in competitive games and a look sided h2h.

    However they’d fancy their chances this time as Italy dealt with furthur injury setbacks to Cantreva and De Rossi. I’d go slightly in Italys favour.

    France and Italy though are much more even imo with the 2000 Euro final being an unforgettable match !!!

  6. WengerEagle


    Interesting to hear about French players picking up an extra edge given their time spent in Italy, looking at a lot of their players you’re spot on, Zidane, Trezeguet, Henry of course, Vieira, Thuram, Deschamps, etc all played in Serie A for a time.

    The WC 2006 Final I was pretty gutted that France lost myself given I practially supported them then with their sizable Arsenal contingent.

    RE Wales, I’d love to see them do it and they ARE capable of beating Belgium, they proved that in qualifying.

    I just can’t see it happening for them, Belgium are heating up and they seriously demolished Hungary with ease. Hazard and De Bruyne look at the peak of their powers, it’s difficult to see how the Welslh can stop them.

    They’ll need a huge game from the likes of Bale, Ramsey and Allen in CM.

  7. STV

    The biggest loss to Euro 2008 was the Dutch team, which defeated Italy (world cup champions ) 3-0 , France (runner ups) 4-1 then lost to Russia !!

    Arshavin was on fire then.

  8. Bamford10

    I don’t like the slow approach to the ball on penalties, and I definitely don’t like the slow approach plus low shot.

    Did every Portugal shooter go high?

    Congrats to Portugal. Did not think they’d get this far.

  9. Alexanderhenry

    Wenger for England would be a smart move by the FA- for once.

    It would be good for england and good for wenger himself who, as he approaches the end of his career, is unlikely to win major honours at Arsenal. Unlikely because kroenke will not match or even come close to the spending of our main rivals.

    We have a slight chance next season, but if as I suspect our net spend ends up at around 40 to 50 million, it will only be slight.