It’s Monday. It’s more into the day for you guys than it is for me, because, you know, time zones. We get ribbed in the UK for loving a queue, I ask anyone to have a go on a New York post flight queue. Queue for self service, queue for a stamp, queue for no reason to exit the building then queue for a taxi rank. It’s painful. Americans love queuing more than we do.
So I look at the papers and I read that Chezzer has been on the ‘hippy crack’… I’m all like, wahhhh? Then I read into it… he’s been allegedly caught inhaling laughing gas, or helium from balloons.
Now, just in case you’re not down with the UK legal highs scene (Crayola pens are so out this summer), one of the trends at after parties is someone goes out, buys a case of laughing gas, 1000 empty balloons and a whipped cream dispenser then people crack balloons, hand them out and party goers inhale and have about 16 seconds of a head rush.
It really is the most pointless thing you’ve ever seen.
When I was a kid, this was just banter… because it’d make your voice go funny, now the Daily Mail has it down as crack for hippies.
Now, I’m not saying it’s not dangerous. It could well be. But so is drinking alcohol, so is smoking cigarettes and so is headbutting moving cars for LOLz. I mean, even BBQs are carcinogenic these days. This, in the grand scheme of things, really feels quite low down the pecking order.
What is stupid is that he’s a £90k a week athlete Snapchatting what he’s doing. He’s probably aware that he’s doing a ‘naughty’ which just makes it all the more dim. But don’t lose your shit, he’s not sharing needles with a rockstar here, he’s just being a dick (allegedly).
If you are doing bad things DON’T DIGITISE THEM AND SEND THEM TO PALS WHO ARE NOT AS FAMOUS AS YOU.
Key points here. Laughing gas is not illegal. Doing it is dim. Let’s hope this is just a load of manufactured nonsense.
Additional points to take on this morning. I picked up on a few tweets last night that point to a growing trend that our season will be fine without another centre midfield because Arteta is great.
WOAH! Is someone inhaling HIPPY CRACK OVER THERE!
Arteta has been shot physically for at least two seasons. He can handle smaller matches, he can shore up a side in the last twenty minutes, but he can’t hack 3 games a week at 33 years of age. Last season he was broken for most of it. The season before, he was so slow and off the pace, teams were setting up to play a certain way against us because we couldn’t turn the ball out of midfield quick enough (Chelsea was a prime example of him being brutally exposed).
Also, it’s widely believed that 29 years (even baseball is 29), physiologically (and from a winning perspective), is the peak age for a footballer. After that, you lose your ability to recover and keep the pace. We work in the fastest most powerful league in the world with one of the most intense schedules in the game.
Simply put, there is no way we can go into a season with Arteta as the back up to Coquelin. We need someone to share the load. Sure, there are arguments that suggest we play a more solid set up now. We do, that doesn’t mean you can drop inappropriate cogs into the system and hope for a desirable outcome.
Football is about marginal gains. The second half of last season was about those marginal gains coming together. We added tactics, video analysis, better preparation, tweaked training, better rest and recovery and most importantly, we found players who gave us that power and pace we’d lacked. Coquelin is a prime example of what intensity can bring a team. We need two of those.
I just pray Wenger isn’t going to sit on his hands again and take a risk on youth. United just signed a 29 year old who can do the job in the now. We just let a very capable 29 year old in Cabaye go to Palace. I really hope there’s a plan, because time is ticking on and I can’t see anything happening… sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s a ‘same old, same old’… I hope Wenger has got the buzz for a new season of competitiveness because as it stands, we’re dependent on a lot of players upping there game, gaining experience quick or learning new positions.
That doesn’t make me happy.