Rihanna drops ITK bombshell + Goat that looks like Per Mertesacker

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QUICK POST today. Why? Because I control the word count, not you.

Two Cech's

Two Cech’s

So the picture above, from the Daily Mirror, confirmed our suspicions. Jose Mourinho has indeed, totally shafted us. He’s sold us the OTHER Petr Cech. His brother, who broke his metatarsal, like,  3 times as a kid… mans can hardly walk. What a devastation. That wiley old bugger Jose has done Ivan up like a lightly grilled Scottish Kipper.

Right, so the BIG news is that Benzema was apparently given a call by Arsene Wenger, says some two bob Spanish Radio station.


Let me break this down for you.

  • For starters, Wenger would be breaking many rules by calling players about a move.
  • Secondly, Wenger doesn’t break rules.
  • Thirdly, it’s a two bob radio station.

I reckon we’ll go for a major name this summer, just not sure we’d move for Benzema. He’s the most pointless link every summer. He never leaves. He’s part of the Madrid furniture. I don’t even think Madrid have another striker lined up? I mean, it’s not looking good. Is Rafa that mental?

However. I would love it if he did join.

Juventus are thinking about dropping a bid for Mesut. I mean, I’d do that deal if it involved Paul P coming the other way. Have a very strong feeling that’s about as likely as me looking trim in a new Arsenal shirt.

Nice to see Raheem Sterling acting like a little shit. I mean, will no one tell the boy that commercial deals are generally linked to how likeable you are as a player? Players who have no redeeming features tend to do less better on billboard posters. I really don’t think he’s thought this through.

ALSO. He’s only a kid. Tarnished with the greed brush forever. It’s not good. I love him as a player, I’d love him at Arsenal, but my love for him if he joined would only be football deep. That’s a shame. He’d never get the full penetrative Pedro love he might have had if he was a nice lad.

Right, how about Crystal Palace signing Yohann Cabaye? Pretty mental right? That’s a sign of the leagues strength these days. They’ve just splashed out for a major name. We could have put him in our side for that price… we know Wenger likes him. Maybe he’s ignored him because he has bigger / younger kippers to fry?

ALSO, how about Robin Van Persie moving to Fener? I mean, top player. Only 31 years old. Cast off to Turkey? What a fall from grace. I mean, I know Turkey is a beautiful country, and it now boasts a Soho house. But come on? Turkey? For football? Let’s be real here. You have to be at least 35! Surely a cheeky move to Italy would have been more fun?

Look. I just don’t get it. I also don’t get how Fener have sooooo much cash. Those guys and Gala seem to bring on some pretty hefty earners!

Here’s a nice article about Gourcuff… a player we all thought would join us, mainly because he was French and mysterious.

I think that’s all I have today… bar this kid below who has all the banter.


344 Responses to “Rihanna drops ITK bombshell + Goat that looks like Per Mertesacker”

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  1. london gunner


    “Sterling was neck and neck with Suarez as Liverpool’s best player the season before last. he’ll walk in to that City side.”

    What an utterly foolish statement. Suarez was probaly in the top 3 players in the world that season! so was sterling the 3rd or 4th bes tplayer?

    Nasri Mouth

    “Its a better opportunity for him, why would he not grasp it?”

    Short term it sounds better long term it isn’t.

    At liverpool he will have constant guaranteed first team football not for 1 season for 3. the football will be played through him getting the best out of his talents. He will be the star the team will basically be set up to get the best out of him. I just think don’t run before you can walk. I know liverpool are shits, but they will give the young player the time and the patience required to get sterling to next level. A team like City that buys ready made stars and doesn’t have a youth policy wont.

  2. Dan Ahern

    lg — I was very meh about Welbz signing too, but Sterling is another class. He’s clearly more talented and quite a bit younger as well. No comparison really.

  3. Relieable sauce

    Schweinsteiger joins MU & is banging Anna Ivanovic.
    Now I really dislike him.

    I think he might struggle in the PL, hasnt been the same player for a while now imo.
    Could just be low electrolyte levels though…

  4. Wallace

    london gunner

    when Liverpool were destroying sides on that amazing run it was Sterling who was moved more central to take advantage of the form he was in. he was the Liverpool player who was running riot. that dummy he sold Kompany and Hart?

    sure Suarez was the main man over the course of the season, but as it went down to the wire it was Sterling who was leading the charge.

  5. nasri's mouth

    @London Gunner

    At Liverpool he’s playing with lesser players against lesser teams while being played in several different positions. ManC might have tons of money, but even they don’t spend £45 m on a player at the moment and then discard him. Worse case scenario is he doesn’t fulfil his promise and he moves to a Liverpool sized side. Best case scenario he’s a world class winger winning titles with ManC

  6. Barking Arsene

    2009,2012 Williams and Federer both won Wimbledon. Anyone see a pattern emerging here?

    Also both won in 2003

  7. nasri's mouth

    @RSPC Arsenal

    Because I don’t think we’re close to signing anyone new at the moment.

    Need balls to drop first…

    (That doesn’t mean we’re signing a prepubescent school kid)

  8. Goondawg

    Top signing for United..

    My concern is, he isn’t really a DM. More of a CM of b2b player, so I’m worried United will try nab Schneiderlin also and stock up in their midfield.

    Last season, LVG’s biggest problem was his midfield, even on occasion had Rooney playing CM. With Carrick aging and becoming more injury prone, can see them getting both Swiney and Snidey

  9. Dissenter

    Does this mean that Schneiderlin is back in the market?

    Its awkward for Wenger though, Schneiderlin and Coquelin are two players competing for the same national team position. It will be difficult to manage.

  10. Dissenter

    I think Van Gaal is being realistic. He has only three years, why buy youth?
    United are making money no matter how, why not spend it.

  11. Ozy

    Schneirderlin is not a young player, though. He’s taking a far bigger risk with Schweinsteiger.

    Plus, he bought Depay. I don’t think he’s working solely on a short term mentality.

  12. WengerEagle


    Are you serious?

    Schweinsteiger is a World Cup, Champions League and multiple Bundesliga champion, he’s 30 not 35 they will get at least 3 great years out of him as his game isn’t based around pace and power. He’s an absolutely first class CM.

    Schneiderlin on the other hand is 26 and hasn’t a single Champions League appearance to his name. He’s fortunate to play beside Wanyama in a defensive Southampton side, not saying that he’s not a very good player in his own right but he can barely get a look in for the French National Team.

    No comparison.

  13. Goondawg

    Sweinsteiger has more pedigree, but Schneiderlin is a top player plying his trade in the PL. Swiney hasn’t exactly been the beacon of fitness has he these past few years. Adapting to a new league as tough and fast as this, may take its toll on him

  14. Dissenter

    Wenger Eagle,
    Excellent comments about the Schweinsteger v Schneiderlin argument.

    They are not on the same planet. Schweinsteger has win almost every damn thing winnable.
    Schneiderlin has never played a Europa cup qualifying game, United is a big step-up for him.

  15. Dissenter

    Schneiderlin will be making the biggest mistake of his career if he moves to United now. He will be fourth choice after Carrick, Schweinsteger and Herrera.

    He can kiss his Le Bleu spot goodbye. No more Euros for him.

  16. WengerEagle

    Last season was his only real injury-hit season and he still made 28 apps in all comps, 36 apps in 2013/14 and 36 apps in 2011-12.

    Every other season since 2005 he’s comfortably hit 40+ apps a season.

    Not sure where this injury-prone myth has come from.

  17. WengerEagle


    Yeah he’s pretty far down the list for Les Blues as is, staying at Southampton for another year would be a better option than warming the United bench (presuming they too buy Schweinsteiger).

    For France Pogba and Matuidi are shoe-ins which leaves one place in midfield left up for grabs.

    Kondogbia and Cabaye would have to be the favourites.

  18. WengerEagle

    Btw might have already been mentioned but Payet and Ogbonna are 2 excellent signings for West Ham.

    Will be well worth keeping an eye on them next season with Bilic in charge.

  19. Dissenter

    Claude Makalele came to the premier league when he was 30 year old and did just fine.
    Schweinsteger‘s game does not depend on pace, he’s not a winger or full back.
    German players tend to be intelligent and football savvy, reminds me of Ballack.

  20. Dissenter

    If Coquelin replicates the last half season over the entire 2015-2016 season and we make a decent CL charge, he’ll be in the French squad.
    Call it the Wenger factor.

  21. Dissenter

    Wenger Eagle,
    Its not just West ham but most of the other mid-table teams have so, much money to spend. it’s crazy to see Cabaye go to Palace.

  22. Ozy

    Ogbonna has fell completely short of expectation since moving to Juventus. Not too fussed about that signing.

    And to ask a player to adapt to this league at 31? Eh. We will see, I guess. An incredible player at one point – only time will tell if that’s the player Man U will be getting.

  23. Goondawg

    Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has been left frustrated by the club’s lack of ambition in the transfer market so far this summer, and is urging the board to provide him with more resources. (Sun – subscription required)


  24. mysticleaves

    why is there no news on Marco Reus. it’s too quiet around him right now. I soo need us to sign him

  25. Emiratesstroller

    The selection of squad leaving for Singapore provides an insight into who is likely to be offloaded this summer.

    It is certain that Jenkinson, Campbell and Sanogo will leave , because they are not on the plane and there is absolutely no reason for this if they were to be

    Gnabry has not been included on the pretext that he played in U21 Tournament notwithstanding that he did not play a single game and this is in contrast to Chambers where it was suggested that he needs playing time.

    It is suggested that Welbeck and Rosicky have minor injuries. Welbeck will
    of course still be at club next season. Rosicky is less certain.

    Sanchez and Ospina have been given time off following Copa America.

    What the squad does reveal is that Arsenal are somewhat short of forwards
    when all the deadwood is offloaded. We have sent out to Singapore two
    experienced forwards in Giroud and Walcott backed up by Akpom and Iwobi.

  26. El Tel 1

    So many FM players on here.

    Schweinsteiger is a great player but going to play for them at the end of his career is for the cash.

    They will either explode and become the great side their arrogant tosspot fans think they are or they will implode and end up with another Manager come the end of this season.

    I so hope it is the second option.

    Detest them twats

  27. El Tel 1

    The financial. Savings we have made from the outgoings so far this season is enough to sign two big players.